Seraphina's POV
The pain spread like wildfire through my body, burning everything in its path. My side throbbed, every breath like a blade twisting deeper into my flesh.
But somehow, the physical pain was nothing compared to the ache in my chest.
Because I was still on the ground, bleeding. And he wasn't holding me.
He was holding her.
The Alpha, the man who had killed me once. The man who had kissed me just last night, who had made my heart betray me.
The man who had just reached for me only to stop when she arrived.
I wanted to believe that he had hesitated because of the shock. That if she had arrived a second later, he would have caught me instead.
But reality was cruel, because I had seen it. The way his body went rigid.
The way his breath hitched.
The way his entire world seemed to shift when she collapsed into his arms.
It actually took nothing for me to be left forgotten.
"Lorien…"
Her voice was weak, almost trembling, but it was enough to send a shudder through him.
His arms tightened around her.
His jaw clenched, his eyes stormy as if he didn't want to believe what he was seeing.
I could barely see through the haze of my pain, but I caught the flicker of desperation on his face.
Like she was something he had lost.
Like she was something he had mourned.
The same man who had looked at me last night like I was something impossible now looked at her as if she was the only real thing in the world and guess what? I hated it.
I hated how my stomach twisted.
I hated how my chest felt hollow, as if someone had carved out everything inside me and left nothing but emptiness.
Why does this hurt so much?
The answer was terrifyingly simple… I cared. Because somewhere along the way, in the mess of reincarnation and fate, in between my hatred for him and the undeniable attraction that burned between us, I had started to care about the Alpha, Lorien, and now, he was proving just how little I meant to him.
My body swayed.
The pain in my side was getting worse. Blood soaked through my dress, warm and sticky, but no one was looking at me.
They were all looking at her.
At the miracle.
At the Alpha's long-lost lover.
I wasn't even sure if I had whispered his name or just thought it.
But he didn't turn.
His eyes stayed glued to her.
A choked breath left my lips, and suddenly, the world tilted.
The darkness came too fast… and then everything went black.
~~~
I woke to the scent of herbs and firewood.
My body felt heavy, my side wrapped in bandages. The pain was still there, but it was dull now, no longer the sharp, all-consuming agony from before.
I blinked, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling.
Where was I?
A soft rustling caught my attention.
I turned my head slowly and found a doctor , sorry, a healer sitting beside the bed.
Her eyes flickered to mine, her expression carefully neutral.
"You're awake," she said simply.
"How long?" I swallowed, my throat dry.
"Two days. Maybe longer." She tilted her head. "You lost a lot of blood."
"Did the alpha come…" I stammered.
"No," I had told you to stay away from him, remember? You died because you didn't listen, now you're back at it." I looked at her. She knew me. "He might be your mate but he would never care for you, you will forever be a spy slave to him."
Huh?
"I'm the only one who truly cares for you phina please take care of yourself. Your sacrifice would not be taken for granted." She said and with that she left. I didn't dwell on what she said before the pain returned.
Two days.
I had been unconscious for as long as two days, and yet, Lorien hadn't come to see me.
My stomach twisted, and I clenched my fingers in the sheets.
Of course, he didn't.
Because he was with her.
The first time I left my room, I regretted it immediately.
The halls of the palace buzzed with whispers.
Servants. Guards. Nobles.
All talking about her.
"I can't believe she's back…"
"She looks just like she did before she disappeared."
"The Alpha hasn't left her side since."
I clenched my jaw, my hands trembling at my sides.
I wasn't looking for him.
I wasn't.
But somehow, my feet kept moving, leading me toward the one place I shouldn't go.
When I reached the doorway, I stopped.
The door was slightly ajar, and inside Lorien sat beside her bed.
His back was to me, his entire focus on her.
Her blonde hair fanned across the pillows, her face was soft and peaceful.
She shifted, and his hand instinctively reached out, brushing a stray strand from her forehead.
It was such a small movement, but it felt like a dagger in my chest.
That's what love looks like.
I didn't realize how tightly I was gripping the door frame until my knuckles turned white.
I should leave.
I should turn and walk away before he—
"Lorien…"
She whispered his name, and his entire body reacted.
His hand caught hers, tight, like he was afraid to let go.
I hated how my chest ached.
"Rest," he murmured, his voice soft.
Gentle.
He had never spoken to me like that, and that's when I knew… I would always be second.
No matter what happened between us, no matter how many times he kissed me, how many times he looked at me like I was something new and unknown… like he truly accepted me as his mate…
I would never be her.
I had been bleeding out, dying, and he had still caught her first.
He hadn't even come to see me.
I sucked in a slow, sharp breath, my vision blurring, and then I turned on my heel. I didn't run, but I walked fast enough that no one would see my hands trembling.
I didn't cry.
Not when I reached my chamber.
Not when I shut the door behind me.
Not when I collapsed into the chair by the fireplace, my body aching from the wound, aching from something deeper, but my fingers curled into the fabric of my dress, tightening so hard
"When would I truly be wanted?" My father never wanted me, my mom left me, my foster families always hated me, heaven and hell, if they really existed they rejected me and sent me into this shit-hole. What was I expecting?