Trapped in a room with locked doors and a closed window, it was just me and the bottle. Carefully, I read every inscription on it, and an instruction caught my attention. It said, "Active at low dosage." I opened the bottle, and it's poisonous smell enveloped the room. I took a deep breath and emptied the content of the bottle into my mouth. I shook the bottle and allowed the last drop of the liquid to rest on my tongue. Then, I tossed the bottle away.
I laid on the bed and closed my eyes, thinking I was never going to open them again. Just like I see in the movies. But no! It didn't happen that way. It came with an unexplainable pain – a very awful experience where I felt like my organs were coming out of my mouth and my eyes were falling out of their sockets. There was so much blood pumping out of my nostrils as a hot tear rolled down my cheek.
I held my stomach and screamed aloud to let out the excruciating pain that I felt. In my struggle for life, I fell off the bed and dragged my body, continuously trying to reach the door. Unfortunately, my bones were weakened, and I couldn't help myself. I pounded vigorously on the door, but no one was coming to my aid.
Then, I tried shouting again, but this time, I couldn't find my voice. That was when I realized I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. Oh, my cellphone! I could call someone for help. Wanting to drag my body to the direction of my cell phone, I realized I wouldn't be able to do that since I couldn't lift myself off the ground.
I wept bitterly, reminiscing about all the events that brought me to this point. I remembered how I constantly uploaded on my socials about how depressed I was, but no one ever understood what I was facing. I knew that when I was gone, my image would trend on media platforms, and people would try to reach out to my family, wanting to show how much they care and support… but they never really cared when I needed it.
No one came to my aid except for Mr. Depression and Miss Sadness, who stood by me all this while and encouraged me to end my ordeal by leaving this world. Caught out of my thoughts, I felt this thick darkness and a threatening presence in the room, which I couldn't escape.
I knew it was time. I got tired of struggling because I was weak. My system was shutting down gradually, and my brain couldn't function as it should. Every sound became faint, and soon I couldn't hear them anymore. At this point, I felt no pain. My eyes were open, but I couldn't see anymore… The darkness just grew thicker…
Maria!!!
That's my Mother… save me, Mum.
I could hear sounds, machines beeping, and hasty footsteps. Everyone was swiftly rushing towards me, but I could only see blurry images of them. I could hear a faint male voice giving orders. "Check her vitals, she seems stable."
"Maria, can you see me? Oh, my poor baby!" my mother cried. I tried to speak, but I couldn't hear myself. My vision slowly improved, but I couldn't speak much. My mother hugged me tightly, crying and soaking up my hospital gown with her warm tears.
"Why would you do such a thing, Maria? Why would you try to leave us?" she cried bitterly.
The nurses slowly pulled her away from me as I cried too. I didn't know the reason for my tears. Could it be because I survived or because I put my family through so much pain? I cried along with my mother for a while, and eventually, I fell asleep.
After spending three days in the hospital, I was finally discharged and taken home. I was barely left alone at any point. My mum and siblings were so paranoid and wouldn't let me out of their sight. Friends from school visited every day, bringing fruit baskets, pastries, and "get well soon" notes, but through all of this, Joel never visited. I had anticipated his message since I regained consciousness, but he hasn't texted. I've been through so much, and he still wants nothing to do with me.
I've tried seeing a therapist, but it's been so difficult healing from my tragic experience, and now Joel wants nothing to do with me. How could he move on so fast? And to top it off, he's dating my arch-enemy in school, Christy. Joel was my everything—he was my first boyfriend, we shared our first kiss, and we decided to wait until we got married before having any sexual relations. My parents only permitted our relationship if we promised to abstain from sex, and we promised. We loved each other so much and were the envy of the whole school. We had been dating since junior school, and now, as we were almost graduating, he dumped me on Valentine's Day and announced his new relationship with Christy.
I am already going through so much, and he decided to leave me to suffer alone. I cry myself to sleep every night and then proceed to battle nightmares. I have been reliving this torture, and I decided to end it all, but I survived. My mother found me just in time, but the constant nightmares, heartache, and pain are the price I might continue to pay for the rest of my life.
I tried to force myself to sleep, but all I could think of was Joel and all the sweet memories of our relationship. I started attending Kitos International Primary and Secondary School when I was three. My parents are affiliated with the founders of the school, and they are great contributors to its development. Teachers treated me differently, and I loved it. Joel joined Kitos International Primary and Secondary Schools in JSS1. The moment I saw him, I knew he was the one. It was love at first sight. I was even more excited because he was made to sit close to me. I noticed he was shy and didn't know how to make friends, so I quickly introduced myself and told him to feel comfortable. In a few days, we got comfortable with each other, and we innocently stayed friends until SS1, though I had a huge crush on him, but he was too slow to notice. At this point, he was pretty popular because of me, and everyone already started shipping us. He officially asked me out to be his girlfriend in SS1, and everyone seemed happy for us. We told our parents, got their blessings, and started dating. I finally felt seen.
I would get him gifts every Valentine's Day, birthday, boyfriend's day, New Year's, and Christmas. We would go on mini dinner dates, picnics, swimming, and so many other fun activities. I really loved our relationship, and I was so invested in it. Not too long after we started dating, Christy enrolled in our school. She was tall, slender, and very pretty. My classmates immediately swarmed towards her and socialized with her. The attention I used to get instantly became divided. She would wear the latest shoes and bags to school and was always updated on the latest trends, so the girls loved her. Me, on the other hand, was quite occupied with my studies and my relationship, so I didn't bother about her too much until one fateful Tuesday when I came to school and saw my boyfriend, Joel, holding Christy by her waist.
According to what I was told, Christy started complaining of a stomach ache and asked Joel to take her to the school clinic. Not only did she ask Joel to take her, but she demanded he stay with her in the clinic. Furious, I stormed to the school clinic to ask Joel to come with me to class, but he refused, stating that Christy wasn't doing too well and wanted him to stay.
"Our biology class is about to begin," I said.
"Don't worry, Maria, I've been excused from the class already," he replied.
I felt defeated and went back to class. I couldn't concentrate throughout the biology class and kept glancing at the door with hopes that Joel would walk in soon, but he didn't.
After two teaching periods, Joel finally walked in without Christy, looking tired. He sat beside me, and when he noticed my expression, he turned to me and asked, "Pumpkin, won't you ask me how Christy is doing?"
"Why should I do that? She's not my friend," I snapped back.
"Well, she had a severe stomach ache, and I had to help her out."
"You're not the only boy in the class. Why did she have to pick you out of everyone to assist her?" I retorted.
"Pumpkin, I was available at that point, and I couldn't ignore her. She was in so much pain."
"Fine, I don't care!" I blurted out.
Joel kept trying to pacify me, promising to make it up to me. I finally loosened up and reminded him of our family get-together that weekend.
"You know our families are spending the weekend together?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'll remind my mum to bring gifts on our way," Joel responded. Our families had become closer ever since Joel's father and mine started working together on their political pursuits. My father wanted to run for a House of Representatives position, while Joel's dad wasn't running for any position. However, he was a strong political figure and had been in the system much longer than my dad. With his backing, my dad would have a stronger impact in the political space. Our mothers also got along well, shopping and attending meetings together.
The weekend quickly passed by, and Christy wasn't seen in school all week. We expected her to return on Monday, and she did. We had just finished the morning assembly and gone to our classes when Christy walked up to Joel with a bag. She handed it to him and whispered something in his ear. I was standing at the front of the class when she approached him, so I quickly went to sit beside Joel, but she left as soon as I arrived.
"What did she say to you?" I asked curiously.
"Nothing serious," Joel responded.
"So what's in the bag she gave you?" I inquired again.
"I don't know. I won't open it until I get home," he replied with a frown, as if irritated by my question.
I got annoyed and decided to mind my business for the rest of the day. Christy would always look back at Joel, sending him flirtatious smiles and winks. This set my emotions on fire, and to make it worse, Joel kept acting like it was all innocent. During break, we both went down to the cafeteria to eat. We normally sat with our close friends, enjoying lunch together and talking about school, home, and trendy topics. We had always been five friends, but today, Christy walked into the cafeteria like she owned the place, ordered her lunch, and walked straight to our table.
"Hi, guys! I'm joining your table today," she announced as she pulled out a chair for herself.
I was speechless. She was so audacious and daring. She didn't ask if she should sit, she just announced that she would, and for some reason, none of my friends had a problem with it, which was very unlike them. She sat beside Joel and waved at him. At this point, Joel was sitting between me and Christy. I had a gut feeling that Christy was after my boyfriend, but I didn't want to seem insecure, so I tried to ignore it.
She wouldn't stop bringing up conversations about herself and her family—how she's the only child and feels so lonely. She emphasized wanting close friends like us and said she could organize parties and fun activities for us. My friends seemed to be buying into her idea, but I wasn't. I knew she had ulterior motives, but I didn't know what to do about it.
After school, I expected Joel to show me what was in the sealed bag Christy gave him, but he bluntly refused. I angrily told him I wouldn't be going with his driver that day and would use mine instead. My family driver usually picks up my sisters and me from school, but I had started going home with Joel's driver since we began dating. He would drop me off first, then take Joel home afterward. We both came to school separately, but we always went home together.
Joel begged me to go home with his driver, but I refused and walked out of the class.
The next day, I resumed class, still not wanting to speak to Joel. He kept trying to talk to me, but I shut him out. I was angry because he had started keeping things from me, which was something we had promised not to do.
"Okay, I'll tell you what was in the bag Christy gave me. Will that make you feel better?