April 12, 2032
Badlands, New Texas
Joey's colleague, Matt, who was also wearing a Nazi uniform was sitting in the shotgun seat. He was fast asleep with barely any injuries since he had managed to get to the garage in Destroyed Denver without running in to the respawner. He had heard the sounds of destruction and almost driven off without them thinking they were dead.
Joey had explained to him who Michael was and Matt had not taken the news calmly. You're bringing a fucking respawner with us to the car? But Joey had responded calmly with: You think I would be here talking to you if he was evil? Matt did not have an answer to that though he had still been skeptical about it. He had looked at Michael initially as if he had been a monster through the rear-view mirror when he had been driving the car.
Michael looked back towards Elena from time to time who was laid out at the back of the car and had still not regained consciousness. Joey had told him that she would be fine and that she was just shaken up. He hoped so. He cared deeply for her, as if she was part of his family. Sidra had fallen asleep and he yawned as he looked at her. The tears that had been streaming down her face had dried on her face. He could see her body shaking in agitated motions and her face contorted and knew she was having nightmares. If he was shaken so much by their circumstances then he wondered how she must be feeling.
Michael looked out the window watching the sky turn from sunny to twinkling with stars, from mountainous to desert, and from searing hot to cold. They had entered the badlands that were some hundred miles away from the Peak City. They had driven over sandy dunes and cracked, rocky plains that were littered with cacti and other desert plants. They had already passed by desert towns from where they had seen trucks driving towards the city. The Nazis had control most of the desert towns in the city after the climate in the desert had worsened with extreme climate change and raging sandstorms. They provided the towns with water supplies in exchange for control over them. Michael had seen the huge drums that towered over the towns which contained water supplies. He had also seen strange looking silvery fixtures that looked like cactus drilled into the ground which sucked out water from deep inside the ground. They also had small bristle-like things bursting out from the top like the end of a brush which sucked out moisture from the air.
His thoughts wondered to the friends he had made in the city. He thought about Cole and Chuck and the gang. Had they survived? He hoped so. He was mad at Chuck but that did not mean he still cared about him. But he had made the promise to himself that he would not hang out with him anymore after seeing how it had bothered Elena. He wondered what Chuck had done to her. Used her like he used all his exes? It had not seemed like such a big deal to Michael. Chuck and his friends had made it seem like child play. That sleeping around with women was as normal as drinking alcohol or smoking weed. They had made the women seem like play things, as if they did not have any feelings. And yet, he had seen the tears in Elena's eyes. He was thankful that he had not done anything like that to a woman.
But the biggest question of them all was: How had he come back to life? He had seen the blackness, the death-like blackness that he inched towards as the pain had consumed and the life had left him. He remembered feeling his soul leaving his body but right before it had crossed the threshold of his body it had rushed back in and suddenly, he had had a new body. Michael had not known what death had felt like before but he was sure that feeling was not normal. He had heard so much talk about respawners being evil and inhuman. Am I evil? He certainly did not feel evil. The only evil things he could think he had done was drinking and smoking but lots of people had done worse than him. Was it like an awakening? Was he suddenly going to turn into a monster and kill everyone?
He spotted Joey looking at him through the rear-view mirror with a curious look. He had been giving him that look throughout the journey. It was a discriminating look. A look that said you are not one of us. But Michael certainly felt human. But you killed someone. He had killed the respawner and his body still shook with the memory. Killing the respawner had felt vile and although the blood on his hands had washed away he could still feel it. It made him feel dirty.
These thoughts ravaged his mind until his eyes could barely remain open. He put his head against the cool window and fell into a deep sleep.
April 14, 2032
Liberty Town, New Texas
"She's gonna be fine, Joey. She's got a wicked burn on her shoulder that is definitely gonna scar along with a bunch of cuts and bruises but nothing I can't fix. She's a strong girl, Joey."
Michael let out a sigh of relief. They had driven to a garage which belonged to Joey's friend, Frank, in a small desert town that was a few hundred miles away from The Peak city. Frank had laid out Elena on a rickety sofa and was examining her injuries. All of them were standing besides the sofa except Matt who had gone to collect more intel on their situation. Elena had remained unconscious throughout the ride here and Frank had now sedated her.
Joey laughed in relief and patted Frank on the back. "Knew I could always count on you Frank."
"She got a knock to her head too. But goddamn, she survived a respawner face-to-face? You don't hear that every day," he said. Frank was covered from head to toe in grease and grime. There was a bandana around his buzz cut head along with goggles that Michael had seen many wear in the dusty town. He also wore leather gloves that complimented the tattoos that ran over his arms.
Sidra stood next to Michael who could see that she was still shaken by her mother's death. He ran his hand over her hair in a comforting manner and told her. "See, I told you. She's going to be alright."
Sidra nodded and gave him a quick smile but Michael could see that the little girl was still battling her emotions over her dead mother. She couldn't figure out the strange circumstances she was in.
Michael looked around the garage which had all sorts of vehicles and wondered how this man was even qualified to be looking after Elena. Frank looked up to see Michael's confused look and answered his doubts.
"I served as a medic in the army," he said pointing at his tattoos. "Got most of these bad boys during my time there. Joey was actually a recruit alongside me. Boy, Joey, those were the days, eh?"
Joey smiled and Frank continued. "I've always loved cars actually but my parents forced me into the medical field. Back then, there was so much hype about doctors being filthy rich though it never really worked out for me so I had to enlist in the army. But cars have always been my passion and I wish I hadn't been afraid to tell my parents what I wanted."
"Well, then you'd never have gotten to meet me," joked Joey.
"Yeah, what an honor that is," he replied sarcastically. "Joey often comes up here to my garage whenever he's got injuries which is really too often for comfort. Thought yeah, I can fix up both people and cars. They're both the same to me. In fact, I think I'm a bit biased towards cars. Cars aren't the things that've fucked up the world. It's the people that did that."
Frank continued to patch up Elena as he meticulously and patiently pulled out the shards of glass that were jammed inside her body. Michael spent the time looking around at the cars and Frank noticed him admiring his designs. There were various sorts of muscle cars, buggies and trucks that were modified heavily to survive the conditions of the deserts and drive smoothly on their uneven surfaces. Most of them had huge engines that poked out from inside the bonnet whose cover had been cut away to make space for them. They had enormous, bulky tires attached to them with accessories all around the vehicles' bodies to make them look, as Chuck would put it, 'hardcore.'
"Like 'em?" he asked. Michael nodded. "Some of these mods are of my own creation. These cars need to be jacked up because the people living here in the desert can't survive without them. The cities in the deserts have all gone to shit. Some of them are even buried under the dust. People are relying on their cars to be their new homes which is why they should be in top condition," he explained. "There are also some demolition derbies in the nearby towns too where they'll be wrecking each other. Some of the cars I'm jacking up here are gonna be in there and are gonna, sadly, get torn up."
After that, inside the small shack besides the garage, Michael had to face a whole barrage of Joey's questions. Do you remember who you are? Do you remember anything from your past? How do you respawn? What do you see before you respawn? How do you move from place to place? Etc. etc. etc. Most of these questions were the ones that he had asked himself and did not know the answer of. The rest he answered as best as he could.
"You're a really peculiar case," Joey said thoughtfully to Michael after he was done. "But if you do remember anything then you have to inform me immediately."
Joey continued to look at him in the strange way, as if looking at a monster. He had been kind to him but Michael could tell it was only because he wanted to keep him at his side. He had killed a respawner which according to him, was the greatest thing that had happened in recent history.
"The radio's going crazy, Joey. From all the stuff that happened at the Peak City. They're saying there was a huge EMP wave that disrupted all the electronics in the area. You must be glad I had the car modified to be immune to that. The death toll is pretty high as well. You all, and your niece especially, are pretty lucky to have survived that," said Frank. "To think someone killed a respawner… What a joke. Probably hiding somewhere to make the others think he's dead and then he'll just wreak havoc again."
Joey turned towards Michael with an uncomfortable look. He had not told Frank yet that Michael was a respawner. He waited for his friend to patch up his niece before giving him the news. Michael watched nervously as Joey talked to him in whispers in the corner of the room. Frank had been friendly with Michael but he turned back and looked at him with the same discriminating look that Joey had been giving him.
"What the hell are you doing bringing a respawner up to my garage, Joey?" he said a bit loudly. "You know I'm done with all that stuff."
"I know, I know. I'll leave the moment Elena is ready to travel. It's just for a few days, Frank. Trust me, nothing will happen. The guy saved my niece's life. He killed the respawner. There's no danger with him being here."
"No danger? The fucking Nazis are going to be swarming in the towns looking for him," argued Frank. "And I'll end up going down with you."
"Trust me, Frank. It won't come to that. Please, just a few days."
Frank thought about it for a moment. He turned around again and glared at the respawner in his garage. He turned to Joey and thought about all the moments where Joey had done him favors without asking for anything in return. He sighed.
"Fine. But you owe me, Joey. You owe me big time."
Elena eventually regained consciousness and Sidra ran up to her and embraced her warmly. She was probably the closest thing to a relative that Sidra had now. Joey brought her up to speed about what had happened after the incidents in the Peak City while Michael sat in the corner afraid to face her.
Elena remembered most of what had happened. She had seen him come back to life. She had seen him save her life by coming in the way of the cleaver that had been heading towards her. Had he lied to me before about losing his memory? She remembered how she had seen him with Chuck and his friends who had laughed at her misery. No, he had lost his memory for sure. She was certain of that. But that did not excuse him for laughing at her misery.
But he saved your life, you ungrateful bitch!
Yeah, well, I saved his life too.
Michael watched her look at him with the same look that Joey had given him. A monster. A look that he wasn't one of them. After Joey was done talking to her, he sheepishly approached her. She looked away with disgust.
"I'm sorry, Elena… for that day," he said. "I swear I didn't know…"
"You didn't know? You were laughing at me," she countered.
"No, I swear, I wasn't. I didn't know it was you at first."
"And that makes it right?" she was appalled. "Tell me, what else has Chuck made you do?"
Michael explained to her how he had met Chuck who had taken him to the Cauldron and introduced him to his friends. He told her of the various things he had done. He watched as her look turned to one of deep hurt when he told her about all the girls that Chuck had slept with.
"Did you…? Did you do it too?" she asked. Her voice was cracking now. She was struggling to keep her emotions in control after hearing all the things Chuck had done. He really doesn't miss me.
"No, I didn't. I didn't want to either. I didn't want to do any of that stuff but they made me do it. I didn't… I didn't have any friends, y'know. It was really all I could do. I hadn't thought that it was all such a big deal."
"Well, Michael, it is a very big deal," she said and he watched a tear stream down her eyes.
Michael looked down in shame. Great, you managed to make the person who saved your life hate you. He put his hand in his pocket and felt the pendant inside. He fished it out and showed it to Elena.
"I was… I was saving my money for this. Chuck let me stay at his cabin for a while which allowed me to save up to you this. I know it doesn't excuse me but I want you to take it."
Elena looked at the pendant and realized it was the one she had been looking at when she had taken Michael to the customs. She watched as he fetched out a wad of hitlers as well and handed them to her. "What? Why did you get this for me?"
"To repay you."
"But I told you, Michael. You didn't have to repay me," she said with confusion wracking her mind.
Michael shrugged. "I'm just really sorry, Elena. I hope you can forgive me."
Elena's whole mind was swarming with insecurities. Chuck slept with so many women? He doesn't even miss me? Not even a little? She hated anything that had to do with Chuck, even his friends and Michael had been one of them. Michael was a respawner too. She had every reason to hate him, perhaps even more than Chuck. He was supposed to be a monster. But he had saved her life and had saved the lives of thousands of others within the Peak City. She looked at the pendant in her hand. And now he had even given her this. A pendant which must've cost him a fortune considering he had been broke. Monsters don't save lives and give gifts. It was all too much for Elena to take in. She groaned as she got up to her feet swiping away Michael's hand as he tried to help her up and limped away towards the bathroom.
Tears were streaming down her eyes as she locked the door and fell to her knees on the ground. When her tears had dried, she looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. There was a huge bandage around her shoulder but she could see that the skin around it was a sickly red. She knew it was going to scar. Another flaw in her majorly flawed body. Another mark among the marks that she had cut onto her body. She hated her thin face, her bony arms and her skeletal body. No wonder Chuck had left her for all the other girls. How could he have been satisfied with the body she had? How could she have thought he had missed her like she had missed him? Are the boobs too small? Oh yes, it's definitely the boobs. No, it must be my ass? That's what all the guys talk about. Boobs, ass and face. She carefully studied her slender figure. Everything is too small. Everything is ugly.
She had a very strong urge to cut her hair away right then. She had done so in the past, shortened it to a boy cut. She did not know why she did it. Maybe it was because it made her look different, look different from the person who she was, the person she hated. Or maybe she did it because she liked to look like a boy. Her father had told her that she was very tomboyish in her childhood. It made her wonder at times if she was a lesbian. She wished she had been so that she would have never been attracted to someone like Chuck.
She looked around for scissors but could not find any. Suddenly, she had the urge to slam her head into the mirror. To pick up the broken pieces and carve at her skin, all the places where Chuck has touched her. She had cut herself plenty of times before and the pain had felt good. The pain distracted her from the pain of reminiscing about him. The skin on her wounds would regrow. She hoped that one day she would have carved her whole skin away so it would regrow. It was the only way she could have skin that was untouched by him.
Elena had another fit of crying with her hands cupped around her face. She wiped away the tears from her face and looked at the pendant in her hand which was wet with her tears. A respawner. A respawner had given this to him. A respawner had saved her life. The respawners, who had ruined her life. She wondered what it felt like to be a respawner. A flood of questions flooded her mind. How had he killed her mother's killer? How was that possible? The realization hit her.
He was the first one to ever kill a respawner…
Then she remembered all the people that had been killed at the clinic. Diamond, Amanda, Laila; all of them. All her friends and acquaintances. Heck, even the friendly Nazi soldiers she had known. The people she saw every day at the ration and supply stores. The sickly and injured who would come to her clinic. The neighbors, even the ones she hated. Their friends and families too. Most of them were dead. She started to cry again. They had fallen to her curse, all of them at once. Memories of the times she had spent with all of them surged through her mind at once, even if she had barely known them. They were, or could be, all dead. They had been part of her life for so long and now they were all gone. No, no, no, no! Please no! Why couldn't I have died with them? She knew that their faces would haunt her in her dreams like ghosts roaming around in a haunted house. How am I going to deal with all this?
She remembered all the people injured in the Peak City. All the people who needed help. They needed her. She wiped away her tears and washed her face quickly in the sink. She limped outside and towards her uncle.
"We need to go back," she said coldly to him.
"Why?" he asked. "And what are you doing out of the sofa? You need to rest."
Elena ignored him. "The people at the Peak City need me, we have to go back."
"How can you help them when you can barely even walk?" asked Joey.
Elena was in a very foul mood and was determined not to lose the argument. She could not bear to stay here while people needed her. She made a move for Joey's pockets and grabbed the keys in his pocket much to his frustration. Joey grabbed her hand before she could fish the keys out.
"Give me the keys. I can drive back there."
"No, you can't. God, you really are stubborn like your father." Joey said guiding her back to the bed but she resisted. "Listen, Elena, we can't go back there. I'm sure there were plenty of witnesses who saw what happened with the respawner. They've got some heavy surveillance there too and I'm sure they saw everything, and most importantly they saw HIM." Michael was taken aback by the way he said that as if they were talking about an alien.
Well, can't really blame them now, can I? Humans don't come from the sky with lightning strikes.
Elena kept arguing with Joey until finally she gave up. She knew they couldn't go back but the guilt still throbbed throughout her body and she wanted to vent out her frustration. She hated that she cared so much about people in need and wished she could be selfish like other people. To be selfish like Chuck. To be carefree, to care about only herself, to feel some peace instead of caring about people who, if she was in their situation, would not give a damn about her. She looked at Michael with a look of frustration. It was the same guilty feeling that had led her to bringing him in to the clinic and now she could never go back to her home. She could already sense that her life was going to change because of his sudden appearance. And she could also sense, that it was something that she wasn't going to look forward to.
A loud series of knocks on the door sounded followed by Matt entering the garage. His face was covered with goggles and a scarf around his face which was what most of the people wore in the badlands towns to protect themselves from the sandstorms. He removed the scarf and they saw his face was flushed in panic. He had run back and his chest was heaving.
"Hey, Joey, they're here. The Nazis are here. There's a whole convoy of them and they're searching the whole place," he sputtered through heavy breaths.