The hunt was a resounding success. While Uzumaki was occupied with his water procedures, the bald hero first dragged in several large hares. Large? They stood about a meter tall at the shoulder. Then, deciding not to bother with small game, he caught an enormous mantis—easily twice the size of the one Naruto had encountered earlier.
This time, Saitama carefully controlled his punch strength to preserve the monsters' bodies intact. Now, near a thick tree, lay four neatly decapitated carcasses of creatures that had once sported long ears and powerful fangs. They bore only a vague resemblance to actual hares. Beside another tree lay the brown corpse of an insectoid monstrosity.
— Are we sure this thing's edible? — Naruto asked, eyeing the monstrous insect with suspicion.
The genin was currently strutting around in just his swim trunks, showing off his small but well-defined muscles. His orange jumpsuit hung drying on a nearby branch.
— Naruto, remember this truth: there's no such thing as inedible meat—only incompetent cooks! Back in City Z, I ate monster meat all the time. Never complained once.
The blond initially wrinkled his nose but then remembered the meat in his ramen. Beef was his favorite, though chicken would do in a pinch. What if he tried meat from other creatures? The Forest of Death was practically an endless source of exotic meats!
Naruto's stomach growled loudly, and his mouth began to water. A dumb grin spread across his face of its own accord.
— Better help me gather firewood. I'll handle the butchering myself, — Saitama said, removing his old patched Hawaiian shirt (to avoid getting it dirty) and remaining in just his shorts.
— Hai, Master Saitama! — The genin nodded enthusiastically and ran off to fulfill his teacher's request.
Some time later, everything was prepared. The meat had been butchered, the hides discarded as unnecessary, and firewood gathered. Forked branches had been driven into the ground on either side of the would-be campfire. The plan was to skewer chunks of hare meat on the mantis' bladed forelimb and roast them over the flames.
But there was one problem.
— Hmm, didn't think this through... — Saitama muttered, looking at the pile of butchered monster meat before shifting his gaze to the makeshift spit and then the firewood.
— Tch! — He grabbed his head in frustration. — You don't happen to know any fire techniques, do you?
— Sorry, Master... — Naruto shook his head. — The chakra paper Anko-senpai gave me showed Wind affinity. I wish I could use Fire techniques.
Caped Baldy smacked his own forehead:
— Damn it! Who goes on a picnic and forgets matches? How are we supposed to cook this meat now?
Saitama berated himself for his forgetfulness. Truth be told, he hadn't brought anything today—no salt, no spices, no utensils. Not even a proper knife for butchering; they'd had to make do with Naruto's kunai. The mantis' armor? Saitama had been forced to rip it off with his bare hands. Not that it had been particularly difficult.
— Well, I did read a survival guide recently... — Naruto said, wrinkling his forehead in thought. — I think it described several ways to make fire without Katon techniques.
— Oh? See how useful reading can be sometimes, Naruto? — Saitama nodded approvingly. — So which method do we need? Please don't say rubbing sticks together.
— No, — the genin shook his head, — we need to use a kunai and stone to strike sparks...
— Ah, got it. Well then, give it a try. And hurry up—I'm starving...
As if to emphasize his words, both their stomachs growled loudly in unison.
In the Hokage's Tower
Hiruzen sat sprawled in his office chair near the desk, finally enjoying some rare free time. The burden of leading the village was heavy, and sometimes one needed to take a break from pressing matters.
After first dismissing the ANBU from his office and instructing them not to disturb him, he retrieved a transparent orb from his desk drawer. The man's lips curled into an anticipatory smile. The Third Hokage glanced around just to be safe, but of course—he was alone.
Holding the orb in one hand, he formed a hand seal with the other and whispered almost inaudibly:
— Tōmegane no Jutsu...
The transparent sphere first filled with a strange mist, then began showing outlines of the women's baths.
— Mmm-hmm... — The Hokage's nostrils flared, and his cheeks turned slightly pink. — Come on, girls, make an old man happy.
Zooming in, Sarutobi got a view of the slim, toned bodies of kunoichi who had just begun undressing. The girls were chatting about something cute as they leisurely removed their outer clothing. Moments later, they were down to their underwear.
Hiruzen zoomed in slightly more on one particular beauty, examining the appetizing curves barely contained by her tight bra. The Third's eyes gleamed, and he held his breath. The God of Shinobi bit his lip, anticipating the moment of true beauty.
The girl was already undoing the bra hooks in back, and one strap slipped down...
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK...
Startled, Hiruzen jumped in his chair, and the transparent sphere slipped from his hand. Frantically waving his arms, the Hokage managed to catch the orb before it hit the floor. But the telescope technique had already been interrupted.
— Damn you to the Sage's realm... — Hiruzen muttered through clenched teeth as he put the sphere back in the desk.
Removing the one-way soundproof and insulating barriers, he shouted:
— What the hell are you banging about?! Save that energy for training!
But the door burst open, and two ANBU operatives rushed in.
— Forgive us, Hokage-sama! — one began hurriedly, forgetting even to bow. — Training Ground 44, Red Zone, Code Zero-One!
The Hokage stared blankly at the messenger, processing what he'd heard.
— What? — he asked automatically.
— The perimeter of the Red Zone in the Forest of Death, — the second ninja explained. — The alarm barrier has been triggered, and the containment barrier breached.
Hiruzen swore colorfully.
And he had good reason to swear.
The Forest of Death was the name of the training ground where the second stage of the Chunin Exams was typically held. Located on the village outskirts, it was surrounded by relatively small cliffs. Of course, the dramatic name was mostly just to scare the younger generation of ninja. In truth, Konoha's history recorded only a few fatal incidents in the Forest—all due to foolish genin overestimating their abilities.
But the eastern edge of the training ground was special—a forbidden area. Or more accurately, a sealed zone. About ten kilometers in radius, separated from the rest of the Forest by illusionary, containment, and restraining barriers. This was called the Red Zone.
Using complex fuinjutsu formulas, the area had been sealed by masters of the Uzumaki clan during Hashirama's time. Entry was possible only with a special sealing key that remained in the Hokage's possession to this day. There was another way—to force through the barrier—but that would require simultaneous use of multiple S-rank techniques at a single point. And even that would only open a breach for moments before the self-repairing seals, drawing on the surrounding natural chakra, closed it again.
This zone was rarely visited, and only in the Hokage's presence. Most visits were to gather rare ingredients for poisons or medicines. The usual guests were ANBU elite or Root operatives. Some clan heads knew of this mysterious zone's existence but never attempted to enter. Without the key and the village leader's permission, it was virtually impossible.
"Just what I needed. Who would even want to go there? And without my knowledge? Danzo?.." thoughts raced through the Third's mind.
This area held many secrets.
Apparently, even before Hashirama Senju's time, this place had exhibited elevated levels of natural chakra, which positively influenced the development of local flora and fauna. Hence the presence of giant dangerous beasts and carnivorous plants. Moreover, when the First Hokage and his wife investigated this anomaly, they discovered underground cave networks full of unknown powerful monsters and sensed an immense energy source nearby. What exactly this source was remained unknown, as Mito Uzumaki persuaded her husband not to venture too deep and demanded the immediate sealing of this strange anomaly.
Hashirama Senju resisted for a long time. His curiosity and thirst for knowledge burned fiercely, not to mention his legendary appetite for adventure. But Mito was categorical: "Either we seal this area, or we'll have to find another location for our village..." After lengthy arguments, Hashirama finally listened to his wife. Soon after, the area was cleared of dangerous creatures and sealed. Over the next few years, the "Forest of Death" grew around the Red Zone.
— Hokage-sama, what are your orders? — one of the shinobi inquired.
Hiruzen thoughtfully chewed his lip.
He needed to go personally and check who could have breached the perimeter. The Hokage had no idea what the intruder's motives might be. But whoever it was—they were extremely dangerous. An ordinary shinobi wouldn't just have trouble breaking through—they'd struggle to even detect the barrier, as its camouflage was excellent. Modern fuinjutsu masters couldn't begin to comprehend such sealing techniques. The Uzumaki of the founders' era had done remarkable work.
The Third Hokage took out his pipe and within moments was puffing away in his office.
— Assemble thirty operatives, — he exhaled a smoke ring. — We're heading...
Sarutobi didn't get to finish as a shinobi with red hair and a rabbit mask (callsign Usagi) burst into the office.
— The bald one and the jinchuriki... — he said without greeting. — Hokage-sama, they're missing!
Hiruzen choked on his smoke and coughed violently.
— Cough... what do you mean missing? When?
— Fifteen minutes ago. As for how—I don't know... — the red-haired operative spread his hands hastily. — They were training, talking about something, then just... disappeared...
With each word, the Hokage grew paler.
"A biju! Could Danzo have been right? Is Saitama a spy? But how?.."
— Advisor Shimura has already been notified, — Usagi added briefly.
For half a minute, the office was silent, and the Hokage even stopped smoking.
His face seemed to darken, the wrinkles appearing more pronounced than usual.
Remembering his pipe, he decided to calm himself. Slowly inhaling the smoke, he held his breath before exhaling just as leisurely, forming the kanji for "fire" with the smoke.
Hiruzen opened the desk drawer again and took out the orb to use the observation technique on Naruto. Tuning into the Kyubi jinchuriki's chakra signature, he muttered:
— Tōmegane no Jutsu!
The sphere filled with mist, but moments later returned to its usual transparency. The jutsu had been blocked.
— Holy shit! — the Third shouted angrily, jumping to his feet.
He tossed the sphere onto the chair and began pacing the office. But after a few moments, Hiruzen collected himself and added:
— Send word to Danzo. Have his people comb all areas near Konoha. Our units will assist them. I'll go to the Forest of Death to deal with the intruder. Execute!
— Yes, sir! — the elite ANBU shinobi responded and disappeared in Shunshin...
——
"Scritch..."
"Scritch..."
"Scritch..."
Veins bulged on Saitama's bald head. His eyebrows twitched. Eyes bloodshot, teeth grinding together with an unpleasant screech. A little more, and he might explode with murderous intent.
— Damn it! — Saitama yelled. — I'm starving! Stupid firewood! Are you even trying to light it or what?!
The bald hero and genin had spent over ten minutes striking sparks with a kunai and stone. Useless. The firewood refused to catch.
At first, Saitama had encouraged the blond. Then smirked. Then got bored and joined in...
"Scritch..."
"Scritch..."
— Naruto! You have to learn fire techniques. Wind's useless here.
— Uh... right now? I don't think I can, Master... — Uzumaki shook his head dejectedly.
— Not now, — Saitama cut in. — I mean in general. Ask Anko, she knows some stuff.
Naruto just nodded, continuing to strike sparks.
Caped Baldy paused, setting aside his tools to calm himself.
— Anyway, we should do more picnics. Think about it — Saitama counted on fingers:
— First: great combat training and survival practice for you.
— Second: saves money. Awesome! Hunt your food, cook your food. Perfect.
He grinned, rubbing his hands as a thought struck:
"Heh. At this rate, I can save the old man's allowance. Maybe buy a TV in a year or two. Worst part of this world? No weekend sales. Just holiday discounts..."
— Master, — Naruto interrupted, — maybe try sparks on paper? You've got that book...
— Naruto, that's sacrilege! Tear pages from this bestseller?! — Saitama indignantly pulled out a thin book.
Naruto's stomach growled in response. Soon Saitama's joined the chorus.
— Tch! Fine...
The bald man opened to the first pages.
On one hand, school had taught him never to tear books. On the other hand, hunger was hunger. Besides, he'd already read this page. Totally fine.
— Forgive me, author...
Just as he prepared to rip the page, a senbon whistled toward his hand. Saitama caught it just above the book.
A shadow fell over them. A man in a dark jumpsuit loomed, his killing intent flooding the clearing.
The Hokage, clad in combat gear, approached the sealed area of Training Ground 44.
Enormous trees blocked the sun, casting everything in gloom. Without the key, even Hiruzen might've wandered endlessly.
"Barrier's already repaired..." he mused, seeing through the illusions.
He produced a whirlpool-engraved medallion from his robes. Channeling chakra made the engraving glow, revealing a matching pattern on a giant tree's roots.
Pressing the medallion to the tree, fuin patterns spread across the bark. A violet-tinged portal shimmered into existence between trees.
The Hokage smiled, increasing chakra flow until the passage widened to three meters. Securing the medallion, he stepped through as the portal began closing behind him.
Inside the Red Zone, Hiruzen cycled chakra, entering combat readiness. Two kilometers east, a faintly familiar chakra source pulsed.
The God of Shinobi leaped treetop to treetop—no precautions, no earth clones. Age hadn't dulled his edge. Let ambushers come; the barrier trapped them here regardless.
"Focus. Target ahead—"
His battle focus shattered.
— Rikudō's balls... — he whispered, rubbing his eyes. "Kai!" No genjutsu.
A senbon materialized in his hand, stabbing his palm—still no illusion. The scene was real:
A near-naked blond boy striking sparks by a firepit. A shirtless bald man fiddling with flint. A mountain of butchered meat nearby.
In the Forest of Death.
In the sealed zone.
"Saitama! Naruto!"
Relief warred with fury. No missing jinchūriki—just these idiots picnicking in Konoha's most dangerous area.
"How'd they even—...Right. Saitama."
Stealthily approaching, Hiruzen caught the argument:
— Naruto, that's sacrilege! Tear pages from this bestseller?!
The bald man held a book: "Come Come Paradise". Hiruzen snorted—Jiraiya's masterpiece.
— Forgive me, author...
"Is he actually—?!"
The senbon flew before he could think.
— Huh? — Saitama twirled the needle, eyeing the newcomer.
Naruto froze, sweat dripping. The killing intent crushed him—most genin would've fainted.
— What the hell are you morons doing? — the old shinobi growled. — The whole village's searching for you!
— Hah? — Caped Baldy scratched his head. — Gramps, you lost or something?
The pressure spiked. Naruto gasped. Saitama remained unaffected.
— O-old man? — Naruto's eyes widened in recognition.
The killing intent vanished.
— What old man? — Saitama blinked.
— Saitama, Naruto. Explain. Where's Anko?
Silence.
The Hokage lit his pipe, exhaling smoke.
— It's me. Hiruzen. Stop staring.
— Oh! Old man! Didn't recognize you. — Saitama grinned. — Got a light?
A flame flicked from Hiruzen's finger, igniting the firewood.
— Finally... — Naruto collapsed, grinning. — Gramps, you're a lifesaver.
— Heh, living the dream! — Saitama adjusted the meat skewer. — Sit down, old man. Almost went gray getting this fire started.
Hiruzen and Naruto simultaneously eyed his bald head. The Hokage smirked. Naruto rolled laughing.
— What? Did I say something weird?
— Nothing, Saitama. — Hiruzen sat heavily. — Now explain why you brought Naruto here.
The hero pondered as meat sizzled. Salivation hampered cognition.
— Old man, I can't think hungry. Let's eat first.
— Hmph. Like there's truth in legs either way... — Hiruzen grumbled, settling in.
And as the trio prepared their rabbit feast, elsewhere in Konoha, a certain Copy Ninja—Hatake Kakashi—finally left the hospital, ready to begin his duties as a genin team instructor.