The ride home was a blur. The city lights flickered past the bus window, but my mind was somewhere else—wrapped around a single person, a single moment.
Yuna.
By the time I reached home, I knew sleep wouldn't come easily. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, dissecting our conversation endlessly—her tone, her expressions, her choice of words.
I had already convinced myself that this was nothing more than a fleeting infatuation. A crush that would fade with time.
Even though she barely acknowledged me, I still hoped—maybe there was something.
A spark. A possibility.
My imagination ran wild with alternate scenarios—ones where we met again, where I impressed her, where she finally saw me.
What if I had said something different? What if I had been more confident, more charming? What if she had remembered me when Sohee mentioned my name?
I grabbed my phone and without hesitation, searched her name. I scrolled through articles, interviews, and fashion show highlights. Watched videos where she spoke about her brand, analysing the way she moved, the way she carried herself. Every detail mattered. I wanted to know what made her so magnetic, what made the world revolve around her.
What made her "Somebody".
She barely posted on social media, but I followed her anyway. Every tagged photo, every mention—I devoured it all. Even obscure blogs that wrote about her, interviews buried under years of internet clutter. I memorized small things—her favourite colours, the places she travelled to, the designers she admired. But it wasn't enough. I needed more.
The more I learned, the more I realized how far away she was from me. The people in her world were nothing like me—successful designers, international models, wealthy heirs born into luxury. Compared to them, I was nobody. A struggling musician. Someone who had nothing to offer her.
The thought was suffocating. I clenched my fists, staring at my reflection on the darkened phone screen. If I wanted a place in her world, I had to become someone else. Someone better. Stronger. More successful.
I started imagining that future—the one where I was standing beside her, not as a desperate admirer, but as an equal. I pictured myself confident, wealthy, and powerful. The kind of person she wouldn't just notice, but respect. Maybe even love.
It wasn't just about her. It was about me. About proving that I could be more than this. That I could be someone worthy of standing in the same room as her.
The obsession wasn't about Yuna—it was about who I needed to become for her.
And before I knew it, it started fuelling my self-destruction.
By the time morning arrived, my body was exhausted, but my mind was still racing. I had spent the entire night lost in thoughts that led nowhere.
"Taeyang, don't you have to go to school? It's past 6 already..."
"Yeah, eomma—W-What??! Shit! Shit! SHIT!!! I can't get late, not again!!"
"At least eat something before you go, how will you—"
"I'll buy something on my way..."
"Aigoo! This kid... What am I supposed to do with him?"
I didn't realise I'd overslept. I rushed to school but still didn't make it in time and had to sit through our Math teacher's disciplinary lecture again.
But honestly, I wasn't really listening. My mind was elsewhere.
Nevertheless, I quietly took my place while trying to avoid eye contact from Sohee, sitting right beside me while the teacher continued with his lesson on trigonometry.
"Yaah! Yaaaaah!!! You idiot, where have you been?" Sohee whispered while poking my side with her pen.
"Home. Sleeping." I responded while turning the pages of my notebook.
"Is that all you do? Sleep? It's only August and this is already the second time you got scolded for being late."
"It's better than last year though."
"Just shut up! And why didn't you reply me?"
"Reply? When?"
"Last night, you didn't even see my text."
She's right, I didn't see her text, but it wasn't intentional, I keep my notifications off to avoid distractions.
"Oh, I must have missed it, I was busy, okay?!"
"Busy with what exactly?"
"It's none of your con—"
"Hey! You two, stop talking in the class, okay? And YOU, you just came late and you're already misbehaving?!" The teacher warned us and scolded me again.
"Let's talk later" Sohee whispered.
I didn't realize how deep I had fallen until Sohee caught me stalking Yuna's Instagram during the break. The concern in her voice was clear when she confronted me about it.
"You've been staring at your phone all morning," she said, arms crossed. "Are you still thinking about her?"
I scoffed. "I'm not—"
"Don't even try to deny it." Sohee leaned in, squinting at my screen. "Wow. You're deep in it, huh?"
I groaned, locking my phone. "I was just curious."
"Curious?" Sohee smirked. "That's what you're calling stalking now?"
I shot her a glare. "It's not stalking."
Sohee raised an eyebrow. "Right. Just casual, harmless scrolling. For hours."
I opened my mouth to argue, but the words died in my throat. She wasn't wrong. I had been glued to my phone all morning, desperate for any new information, any new photo.
Deep down, I knew the truth—I wasn't just scrolling mindlessly. This was my only connection to Yuna, the only way to keep her close when she felt so distant.
Why am I acting like this? A voice inside me whispered.
I didn't even know her personally. She was like a celebrity crush—someone out of reach. But unlike a distant idol, I had met her in person. She had spoken to me. That had to mean something. Right?
I sighed, rubbing my temples. I needed to stop.
But I met her in person. She spoke to me. That has to mean something… right?
"You know, at some point you should just go and talk to her. If that's what you what." Sohee suggested.
"Talk to her? Are you serious?!" I replied in surprise. "That's just— ."
"She's not some untouchable goddess, Taeyang." Sohee said, folding her arms. "Stop thinking about her like she's some divine being floating above the rest of us. She's just... Yuna."
I scoffed. "Easy for you to say. You're her cousin."
Sohee rolled her eyes. "You're being dramatic again."
I slumped back in my seat. "She doesn't even remember my name."
Sohee sighed and leaned in. "Listen, you want her to notice you? Then talk to her. Not as a fanboy, but as yourself. She appreciates real people. Trust me."
"Real people?" I laughed bitterly. "What does that even mean? I'm a broke kid who can't even make it to class on time, let alone run a billion-won company."
"So, what? You'll just mope forever? Write sad ballads in your room and stalk her socials from the shadows?"
I stayed quiet.
Sohee nudged me. "Look, I know you, Taeyang. You get stuck in your head too much. You think you're not enough. But you're talented. And not just in music. You've got heart. Yuna might actually like that, you know?"
I shook my head. "It doesn't matter what I have, Sohee. She's not looking for someone like me."
Sohee narrowed her eyes. "How do you know that?"
"Because people like her don't end up with people like me."
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say."
"I'm just being realistic."
"No, you're being a coward."
That stung.
She softened a little, lowering her voice. "Look, I'm not saying throw yourself at her feet or anything. Just… be in her orbit. Say hi. Be around. Let her know you're alive."
Alive.
Right now, I didn't feel alive. I felt like a shadow trying to touch the sunlight.
The final bell rang, but the weight on my shoulders didn't lift with it.
Sohee gave me one last look—half pity, half challenge—before vanishing into the crowd of students. I didn't feel like going straight home, so I took the longer route, earbuds in, but no music playing. I just needed the illusion of isolation.
The sun was dipping low, casting long shadows across the pavement. I kept my head down, replaying every word Sohee said. Maybe she was right. Maybe I was just a coward.
"Taeyang!"
I stopped, recognizing the voice instantly. I looked up to see my uncle—Uncle Minho—waving at me from across the street.
He jogged over, a bag of groceries in one hand, still dressed in his mechanic's uniform, grease staining the edges of his sleeves.
"Hey, kid! Didn't expect to run into you. Heading back from school?"
"Yeah," I said, trying to smile. "Just taking the long way."
"How is my sister doing?"
"She's fine. Thanks for your help the other day."
"Don't mention it. No need for thanks in family." He said with a carefree smile on his face.
"So, still a poet at heart," he said, grinning. "How's the music going? Still making waves with that band of yours?"
I froze for a second.
The band.
A sharp ache twisted in my chest.
"Uh... we stopped playing together a while ago," I said, keeping my eyes on the sidewalk.
Minho frowned. "Oh? That's a shame. You guys had something, you know. That one track you played at the local fest? Had it stuck in my head for weeks."
I gave a weak laugh. "Yeah... that was a long time ago."
"What happened?"
The question was innocent, but it hit like a punch.
"Just didn't work out," I mumbled.
Uncle Minho didn't press. He nodded, adjusting the weight of the bag in his arms. "That's how life is sometimes. But you know, quitting isn't the same as failing. Sometimes you need to fall apart a bit to come back stronger."
I nodded, pretending to agree.
But in my head, I wasn't falling apart to come back stronger.
I was just falling.
As soon as I got home, I dropped my bag by the door and collapsed onto the couch. My mom yelled something from the kitchen, but I didn't catch it. I was still thinking about what my uncle said.
"Quitting isn't the same as failing."
I wasn't sure I believed that. Not when the silence in my room echoed louder than any music I used to make.
I was about to reach for my guitar—just to hold it, maybe—but then my phone buzzed.
[Sohee]: Come to my house. 6 PM sharp. Don't be late.
No emojis. No explanations. Just her usual commanding tone.
[Taeyang]: Why?
No reply.
I stared at the screen, debating whether to ask again or just ignore it.
But something in my gut told me this wasn't random. Sohee didn't call people over for no reason.
At 5:50, I was already pacing outside her building.
At 6:00 sharp, I rang the bell.
The door creaked open, and Sohee stood there, her expression unreadable. "Took you long enough."
"I'm literally on time."
She stepped aside without answering. I walked in, "So, is this about some weird plans or maybe a lecture about getting my life toge—"
My heart jumped so fast it almost stopped.
She looked up, eyes meeting mine like it was the most normal thing in the world.
"Hey," Yuna said, a soft smile on her face.
And just like that—
I forgot how to breathe.