--
"My Lady?" Aina looks at the maid whose eyes are wide. Now that is something I've never seen before. She had only ever noticed disinterest in the faces of the servants that work around her. Just as she had always seemed disinterested with everyone.
Aina waves her hand, dismissing whatever the maid was thinking at the moment. The maid, ashamed of her actions, bowed and kept her silence, moving around the small rounded table beside the large window overlooking the rose garden of the Evrian Manor.
She bents over the table, using her hands to rest her chin with her palms as she looks at the dishes being served by the maid before her. It was an action unbefitting of a noble but ever since that incident, the duke rarely ever cared about what Aina did or did not do. Perhaps it was almost miraculous for Aina that the Duke lost interest with her. Unlike before, she never received orders nor did any butlers come into her room, telling her that the Duke offered for her to join them for a meal.
Either way, her being uninvolved with the Duke's family was a good thing for her.
That way, Aina would be able to live the rest of her life peacefully at the duchy.
Aina knew she had the choice of leaving anytime. The Duke never said anything about her staying at the Evrian duchy forever. Yet, she finds herself unable to do so, because no matter how much she wants to deny it, Aina hopes that she could be treated as their family. That the Duke would treat her as his real daughter, and that she would be loved.
That hope, however has lasted for 10 years now.
Maybe it's time for me to stop, that's what Aina has in her mind these days.
She takes a sip of the cold soup they have been serving to her every day. If anyone were to see the dishes being served to her, they would think that the Duke was impoverished. But that wasn't the case. She wonders if it was the Duke who ordered for such dishes to be served to her or it was just someone who dislikes her so much.
For the past 3 years, only cold food had been served to her. The only personal maid she has doesn't seem to notice anything, or was she only pretending to not notice anything? Aina chose not to care, either way. She does not even know the maid's name or any servants' name for that matter.
She knew they hardly cared for her as well.
Aina lets out a sigh, losing her appetite. She looks outside the window instead, watching the leaves being blown away by the cold wind. "I'm done eating, get this away from me" she orders and the maid with blonde hair obeys immediately.
Her eyes were still drawn to the large window to her right when the maid leaves, closing the door behind her. She stood up a minute later, wanting to take a walk around the manor when her chest suddenly starts to ache. She placed a hand on her chest, a frown painting her face as she slumps back down on the seat, resting her back and taking down deep, shaky breaths. The pain was bearable, it was not too much but it was certainly uncomfortable.
Was she experiencing heartburn? She takes another deep breath as the pain subsides, leaving trails of sweat dripping on the sides of her forehead.
She was fine, she was just fine.
Aina placed her forearm on the space between her eyebrows. She takes another deep breath as she closed her eyes. She tilts her head to look at the sky beyond the carved windows of her room. Maybe taking a walk would get this off my chest, she thought to herself, her other hand clamping the fabric on her chest. There was still that heavy and restricting feeling that won't go away, she wonders what it is.
How uncomfortable.
She stood up, gathering the strength to do so a moment later. Aina turns and walks to the door, coincidentally meeting with her maid who happens to enter as well. "My Lady, where are you off to?" the maid asked.
"I'm taking a walk" no matter how much Aina thought not to answer the maid's boring question, she was raised by her mother to not be impolite with others.
The maid, thank the saints, did not ask anymore and only followed behind her, a few feet away from her, just as she liked it. Although the maid has been with her for a year now, Aina still does not ask for her name, nor was there any progress with their relationship. Contrary to her half-sister whose servants were loyal and held fondness for her, Aina's pervious maids kept resigning for some reason. Aina thinks the reason was that she was a bastard child, born from a prostitute woman.
I wonder how long this one will last, Aina glances at the reflection of the maid when they passed by a mirror in the halls.
She turns to the right, and takes the back entrance of the ground level of the manor, the backdoor that servants often used to enter and exit the mansion, for how could they dare to even enter through the main entrance? Aina turns the knob of the door, her maid following behind without so much as making a sound with her feet. It was how the maid acted around her, ever since the Duke first informed her of her former maid resigning and him finding a new servant for her.
Aina tightens the shawl wrapped around her, it was a dull, brown colour and paired with the extravagant dress that she wore, it looked odd, but she could never find it in herself to throw the cloth away, for it had once belonged to her mother and was one of the few things that she had from her old life. If she threw it away, it would mean that she was throwing Aina away.
She followed the cemented steps of the back garden, following the steps until it led her to the large lake that oversaw the manor. It was a long way from the manor, and it took her 30 minutes of walking to reach the place where she has always escaped to whenever she needed to be alone.
The lake was vast, and due to gusts of the autumn wind, the side of the lake was filled with leaves. The lake looked gloomy. It was just what she needed to unwind so she sat down a few feet from the waters, uncaring if the fancy dress that she was wearing were to get dirty. Aina looks ahead the lake, watching every ripple on the water, allowing the calmness around to soothe her.
She turns slightly to her right, seeing the maid still standing behind her. "Go back, you are dismissed for the day" unlike the Duke's other children, Aina was a lady of the Evrian duchy without any real duties, therefore, she does not have a busy schedule like the others.
Of course, the freedom of time that she has made her bored.
As anyone would be in her shoes.
She sees the maid bow to her for a moment, and she turns her head back on the lake, hearing the sound of footsteps pacing away from her.
Aina relished at the feeling of being alone.
She remembers being a child and wishing for everyone in the world to disappear. Aina quietly huffs at the absurdity of her childish dreams, though she couldn't really say she grew up from those kinds of thoughts. Because sometimes, during the nights where she couldn't sleep, she still wishes for all the people around her to disappear.
Just like a bubble, Aina thinks.