The speed required for a blunt object to decapitate a human is about 70 kilometers per hour, or roughly 16 meters per second—that's if we're talking about a guillotine. With a steel door, it'd need to be around 100 kilometers per hour, or 28 meters per second. Knowing that, I was glad the rooftop door went flying off far from where Nyar and I were standing.
"Doors have handles for a reason," I let out in a sigh.
"I guess so! But that doesn't matter when you're in a hurry! I thought I'd miss your descent into madness, but I got the call I couldn't ignore. Seriously, he talks too much—I mean, more than my head can handle," she said between gasps. It was clear she'd raced up the stairs like it was a marathon, her claws gripping the twisted doorframe as she slowly caught her breath.
"Oh… A call?"
"Not just a call, idiot—THE call," she repeated, adjusting her uniform and walking toward us as if nothing had happened.
"'The' call?" I questioned again.
"The Call of Cthulhu, Eiji!" she shouted, exasperated.
"Yeah, I figured that. I just wanted you to say it. If we get canceled now, it's on you."
"What?"
I exhaled. "Nothing… Nothing… forget it. Anyway, I solved your stupid riddle—can we go back now? I'm tired, it's cold, I'm hungry, and having to come back to this school after ten years bugs me more than you'd think."
She looked like she was about to reply but froze, mouth open, her eyes darting around—the cracked floor, the scraps of 'Anna's' skin scattered across the roof, the countless bloodstains covering me and the ground. She stepped closer and shoved me aside roughly. For a moment, her gaze locked onto Nyar, naked and covered only by my jacket.
"Eiji… would you mind explaining what this is all about?" She turned her face to me, ignoring Nyar, forcing a smile that still betrayed how noticeably pissed she was about something.
"Uh… Want the long version or the short one?"
"I want you to not be an idiot and answer my question," she snapped, straining her smile so hard I could see her eyelid twitching like a suppressed anger tic.
"Well… first, she ripped off her skin, which was kinda gross, and then she told me her name's Nyar," I concluded, throwing in the cat gesture at the end.
She pointed a claw at me like she was about to accuse me of something, but Nyar cut her off with an exaggeratedly fake throat-clearing.
"Noddy, could you stop acting like I'm not here?" Nyar said, zipping up the jacket and stepping toward her. The blood under her feet made a faint sloshing sound.
"Don't call me that in public!" she exclaimed, covering her face with her claws. After a pause, she shifted one finger to peek through. "Since when did the plan include you stripping in front of him?" she added, scanning Nyar like a machine. "Oh, great! You're wearing his jacket… You're both pigs—bet you spent all this time rolling around the roof, huh?"
I tried jumping into the conversation. It was obvious 'Noddy' had cooked up a mental story that was wildly off the mark, but the second she heard my attempt to chime in, she shot me a look like she was firing lasers from her eyes. Should I have been scared? Maybe, but the argument was getting interesting, and watching her throw what looked more like a tantrum than a real complaint couldn't help but make me laugh inside.
Nyar, meanwhile, stood firm and unfazed, waiting her turn to respond.
"Sister, do you really see me as someone who'd carry out such… impure acts?" Nyar asked, trying to assert herself, though her height made it look like a lost cause.
"Of course I do!"
"You're right, but not in public, and definitely not on a roof with this chilly breeze… The blood on the ground doesn't bother me," she said, glancing around before continuing. "You need to stop making up stories, sister. I just decided your plan wasn't workable. I mean, look at him—I tore his classmate's skin off strip by strip, and he didn't even flinch. I still can't figure out if he's completely insane or if his brain doesn't even grasp what madness is. Whatever the reason, it's clear your theatrical idea wasn't going to cut it, so I'd say my approach was a win." She finished, brushing past her and walking over to my side.
Noddy watched her sister stride up next to me. She didn't say anything, but I caught a slight twitch in her claws as they tensed. So the plan was to drown me in despair by watching a school acquaintance kill herself in front of me. At least now I had a bit more insight into these two lunatics' intentions. Nyar seemed more clued in about me, while Noddy's scheme felt like something she'd cribbed from a cheap soap opera.
"That still doesn't explain why you stripped in front of him!" Noddy snapped.
"Sister, how am I supposed to wear a human's skin if I'm already dressed? You're taking this way too emotionally. The fact that this fool"—she pointed at me—"can keep his cool better than you says more than you think."
If you've ever been on a packed bus with nowhere to hold on, you know the uneasy feeling of bracing for a sudden stop. That's exactly what I felt right then. Neither of them was willing to back down, and I sure as hell wasn't picking a side since they'd both orchestrated this mess against me.
"…Nyar… right now, I'd love to rip your ex-tre-mi-ties off…" Noddy said, trying to keep her voice steady as she brought her claws to her sides.
"You've been saying that for over two thousand years, sister," Nyar shot back with a small laugh.
"Okay, enough—both of you calm down, alright?" I said, stepping forward, which, objectively, was a bad move that put me right in the potential crossfire. "Noddy, Nyar said she was cold, so I gave her my jacket. That's it—nothing happened between us."
"Nodens," she said flatly.
"Huh?"
"My name's Nodens, not Noddy, so stop calling me that."
"…Got it…" I said, leaving a beat of silence to think. "You're still mad, aren't you?"
"A lot," she replied, still holding that flat tone but with less energy to keep the conversation going.
"Why? Your plan worked anyway. You wanted to test my mental resilience—well, look, I'm mediating between two cosmic entities."
"It's not about the plan, idiot! I just can't wrap my head around how I leave for a few hours and you're already letting my sister seduce you…"
I looked at her, then at Nyar, who seemed more lost in her thoughts than engaged in what was happening, and turned back to Nodens. "She didn't seduce me. Her breasts are too small for my taste… though I guess they're fine, proportionally speaking."
"What?" Her cheeks puffed up before she let out a laugh that bent her forward, wrapping her claws around her waist.
"Humans have physical preferences that elude me and that I have no reason or desire to meet… unlike you, sister," Nyar cut in. She didn't lose her calm demeanor, but there was a faint irritation in her voice that maybe even she didn't notice.
I could've stepped in again, but something told me these clashes had been going on for ages. Guess that's how siblings are.
"How are we supposed to get back? I mean, the test you set up was a success for you, even if it didn't follow your script," I asked Nodens, stepping toward the edge of the roof. Looking down, the building seemed much, much taller than normal.
"There was something here that disappeared, there's something here…" she said, intoning her voice.
"That must disappear, yeah, I remember what you said," I added, cutting off Nodens' line.
"If you remember, why are you asking?" she shot back, fixing her bangs.
Nyar, who'd been quiet all this time, stepped up beside me, also looking down. For a while, she said nothing. I felt her tug lightly on my shirtsleeve. "What my inept sister meant with that phrase is that you're part of what needs to disappear. In short, this fake timeline is only holding together because of our influence and an irregularity—and that irregularity is you."
"Hmm… so basically, I have to die, right?" I said, bringing my hand to my chin—you know, the classic thinker pose.
"Y-Yes… that's right…" Nyar replied, lifting her gaze to meet mine. She seemed off-balance; that stutter in her voice wasn't typical given how she'd acted so far.
"Got it. Let's see what happens next. So which one of you is going to kill me?" I asked, looking at Nodens first.
"Don't look at me. You and I have an implicit pact—you've got my key in your chest, after all."
"Wasn't it stolen?"
"Tech-ni-cal-i-ties," she answered, slipping back into her usual jovial tone. "Finders keepers, they say."
I turned my eyes to Nyar, who didn't even give me a chance to ask. "No. I'd rather keep being part of what's to come, so I can't do it," she said, turning away and shoving her hands into my jacket's pockets. "And honestly, I don't want to either." I could see her fists clenching the fabric inside the pockets.
I looked down again. Generally speaking, the human body reaches terminal velocity—the maximum speed it can hit while falling—at about 190 to 200 kilometers per hour in a spread-out position, or 240 to 290 kilometers per hour in a tighter one, like falling feet- or head-first. That speed kicks in after dropping 150 to 180 meters. Given the distortion this building had undergone, there were about 30 floors between me and the ground—or, in simpler terms, between me and turning into a red mess of blood and guts.
"I don't have proof, but I'm guessing this is gonna hurt…" I said, taking another step toward the edge. "I hope at least one of you picks me up on the other side, you know? I like black tea and prefer salty snacks over sweet ones—write that down." I finished with a wave—a casual 'see you later'—before letting myself fall into the void stretching below me.
You know, if this was an isekai, right before my body splattered on the ground, I'd be whisked off to a medieval fantasy world with an excessive, unnecessary pile of magical powers and maybe even a harem. But 'someone' decided that's not my story. So I guess I'll have to settle for whatever comes next.