[8:00 A.M. – Hero Academy, Room 404 (Not Found)]
There are places in every school where reality starts to fray.
A weird hallway where lockers hum. A vending machine that dispenses things nobody ordered. A janitor closet that echoes before you say anything.
Room 404 was all of those things in one.
The sign on the door read:"Class: W.T.F. – Wild Talent Formation"But someone had scribbled "Why Tho Faculty?" underneath.
Alex stood in front of it, holding a campus map upside down and a coffee that he didn't remember buying.
Penny had dropped him off with two words of advice: "Don't trigger anyone."
He wasn't sure if she meant emotionally or magically.
Probably both.
***
[8:01 A.M. – The Students of Class WTF]
The door creaked open with a sound that might have been a bass drop.
Inside, the class looked like the result of a genre blender set to "chaotic neutral."
A girl floated upside down, arms folded, eyes glowing with pure edge.
A guy was made entirely of mist but wore glasses anyway.
Someone was eating a flaming sandwich and crying.
A sentient textbook turned its own pages while muttering Latin.
Alex stepped in.
Everyone stared.
He waved. "Hi. I'm Plot Armor."
The flaming sandwich guy burst into tears. "I KNEW IT!"
***
[8:05 A.M. – Roll Call of Madness]
The teacher—an exhausted man with holographic eyebrows and a coffee IV drip—stood at the front.
"Welcome to Class WTF," he said. "If you're here, it means the system doesn't know what to do with you, and frankly, neither do I. Let's begin."
He tapped his holo-tablet.
"First up: Voidica."
The upside-down girl floated higher. "Here. I brought existential dread and an unfinished novella."
"Good. Next: Cryflame."
The flaming sandwich kid sniffled. "Present. Emotionally unstable. Also still on fire."
"Noted. Mistopher?"
The mist-man adjusted his glasses. "I'm physically present, metaphysically undecided."
"Good enough. Plot Armor?"
Alex raised a hand. "Here, for some reason."
The class shuddered.
Even the textbook whimpered.
***
[8:10 A.M. – The Icebreaker That Shattered Everything]
"Alright," the teacher sighed. "Let's break the ice. Introduce yourselves and describe your powers. Don't cause a timeline fracture. Again."
Voidica spoke first. "I generate alternate realities based on regret."
Cryflame: "I manifest my emotions as thermal warfare."
Mistopher: "I don't have a body. I borrow one from probability."
The sentient textbook: "I contain forbidden knowledge and Sudoku."
Everyone turned to Alex.
He stood, shrugged, and said:
"I survive stuff."
The class leaned in.
"Like, impossible stuff."
Voidica narrowed her eyes. "So… you're just lucky?"
"Not really. I think the universe just gets bored when I die."
There was silence.
Then Cryflame exploded into applause. "THAT'S THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!"
***
[8:12 A.M. – The Group Exercise That Turned Into an Exorcism]
"Team-building time," the teacher groaned, pulling down a dusty chart labeled 'Trust Fall Protocols (Interdimensional Edition)'.
"Pair off."
Alex ended up with Voidica.
"Don't read my thoughts," she warned. "They branch into horror genres."
"Cool," Alex said, "Just don't try to make me the protagonist of your tragic arc."
Too late.
As she fell backward, Alex instinctively stepped sideways.
At that moment, the ceiling tile above her collapsed, dropping a crate labeled "DO NOT DROP."
It hit the floor. Bounced.
Then launched into the air and landed on Cryflame, who mistook it for an emotional threat and burst into flames.
The fire alarm went off.
Mistopher dissolved into anxiety.
The textbook screamed.
***
[8:15 A.M. – Teacher Logs a Formal Cry for Help]
Outside the classroom, the teacher left a voice note on the staff comms line:
"Class WTF update: Plot Armor has arrived. First five minutes included unprovoked reality shifts, fire-based emotional damage, and an airborne crate paradox. Strong contender for 'most teachable moment that immediately un-taught itself.' Requesting backup. Also snacks. Mostly snacks."
***
[10:00 A.M. – Assignment Briefing: Disaster with a Food Court]
"Alright, delinquents," their teacher said, tapping the air until a glowing map appeared. "Congratulations, you're all now officially unqualified first responders."
The map zoomed in on a district called ChronoSquare—a massive commercial mall complex famous for having 47 restaurants, 12 escalators, and a mysterious shrine to the "Spirit of Convenience."
"Anomaly reports started coming in this morning," he continued. "Customers trapped in looping escalator sequences. Sales repeating. NPCs developing backstory. Classic Plot Field."
He eyed Alex.
"Someone's presence is likely accelerating it."
Alex sipped a milkshake. "I just wanted sneakers."
Cryflame raised a shaky hand. "What if we get stuck in an infinite ramen arc again?"
"Then you'll eat well," the teacher muttered. "Suit up."
***
[10:30 A.M. – Arrival at ChronoSquare]
Class WTF stood at the entrance of the megamall.
Everything looked… mostly normal. A little too normal.
Shoppers repeated the same three conversations.
Background music looped slightly out of sync.
A security guard floated three inches off the ground.
Mistopher winced. "Definitely a Plot Field. Causality's... vibrating."
Alex pointed at a smoothie stand that had six identical employees all saying, "Have a juiceday!"
He squinted. "Okay yeah, that's cursed."
Voidica floated higher. "We should split up and—"
"NOPE."
Everyone turned to Alex.
He held up a finger. "This is literally the opening act of every bad arc. No splitting up. We walk together, talk casually, and never say things like 'it's quiet... too quiet.'"
Cryflame gasped. "That used to be my catchphrase!"
Alex nodded. "Exactly."
***
[10:35 A.M. – The Battle Shonen Mall Begins]
They made it ten steps in before things got weird.
A sports store mannequin came to life and challenged them to a Training Arc.
A food court employee unlocked their tragic backstory aura.
An escalator turned into a dramatic staircase with flashback filters.
Alex stepped on the moving walkway and instantly got launched into a wall of manga.
"Plot Field's deep," Penny said over comms. "Reality's genre layer is shifting. You're in full Shonen Mode now."
Mistopher was already powering up via narrative monologue. "I've been waiting… to finally understand who I am!"
"NO," Alex shouted, hurling a wet pretzel at him. "Save the emotional climax for Volume 6!"
***
[10:40 A.M. – Boss Fight, Probably]
At the mall's center was a fountain surrounded by food kiosks.
It was glowing.
Reality flickered. Clichés shimmered like sweat sparkles on a training montage.
And from the fountain rose… a figure.
Tall. Muscled. Shirtless. Wearing a chef's apron.
Eyes blazing.
Spatula glowing.
"I am the Final Boss of Flavor!" he roared. "I have simmered in the fires of forgotten arcs and marinated in neglected side quests! I am—"
Alex threw a napkin dispenser at him.
It hit the chef in the head.
He paused.
Then crumpled.
[10:41 A.M. – Mall Arc Over?]
The air normalized.
NPCs blinked and returned to default settings.
The floating security guard sat down.
The fountain stopped glowing. The escalators re-synced. One smoothie worker finally exhaled.
Class WTF stood there, blinking.
Cryflame: "Did we just… win?"
Voidica: "I was saving my eldritch move."
Mistopher: "I almost unlocked my second form."
Alex dusted off his hoodie. "I just wanted boba."
***
[10:45 A.M. – Post-Mission Debrief]
Back at HQ, the teacher scrolled through the incident report with dead eyes.
"Cause of Field Collapse: Subject Plot Armor disrupted genre escalation."
Alex sipped a bubble tea. "I do that."
The teacher sighed.
"You've all… passed."
Everyone cheered.
Except Alex, who yawned and said, "So… lunch?"