2018, November
Another usual day—nothing new. A rainy, windy November afternoon. The streets were covered in dirt, school was as monotonous as ever, and PE class felt like an endless cycle. In the massive gym, a group of boys played basketball while the girls played volleyball.
At the very end of the group, one girl stood, barely paying attention to the game. She had to play, but she never liked it. Yet, for some reason, the ball seemed to love hitting her in the head. PE lessons were the most unbearable part of school—never interesting, never entertaining. So, to make time pass a little faster, she decided to joke around. She stepped closer to her friend, M., glanced at the boys playing basketball, and picked one at random.
With a smirk, she said, "Do you see that guy? I love him. I want to date him."
Her friend turned to her in surprise. "That guy? You mean B.?"
The girl was caught off guard. "Wait, you know him?"
"Yeah, we were in the same kindergarten," her friend replied casually.
And that was it. The lesson ended, and as they were leaving the gym, the girl shrugged and admitted, "I was just joking."
Her friend smiled knowingly. "I knew you were. It couldn't be true."
And just like that, they went their separate ways. It seemed like nothing more than a silly joke—one she wouldn't even remember in a week. But seven years passed…
Just a joke…
Is that my end?
2019, August
The girl was going through something complicated—something she couldn't quite put into words. She was mourning someone who was still alive. But who? Herself? Or her loved ones?
Sitting on the couch in the hospital, she stared into nothingness. Her eyes were heavy, drained of life. She wanted to cry—to pour out the weight in her soul—but the tears never came. She couldn't fully grasp the situation, yet she knew something was being destroyed. Among the chaos, one sentence stood out—words spoken by an old woman:
"Your father showed you the dark side of the world. May your husband show you the light."
She never smiled after that day. The light in her eyes faded. Days passed in dull shades of gray. Everything blurred together, words and faces drifting past her eyes and ears without meaning. Nothing mattered. One thing was certain—she wasn't living. She was merely existing, moving through her daily routine like a ghost. She accepted her fate, convinced that one day she would lose everything completely. And when that day came, it would be her bitter ending.
Yet, through those endless, hollow months, one thought kept surfacing in her mind:
"I want to live. I have dreams."