Cameron woke up to the smell of cigarette smoke still clinging to her fingers, a dull headache pressing against her temples. The morning light seeped through her half-closed blinds, casting long shadows over the floor.
Rosalie was still asleep next to her, breathing slow and steady. There was something oddly grounding about her presence—nothing overwhelming, nothing consuming, just a quiet, unspoken understanding.
She blinked hard, rubbing her eyes before reaching for her phone. When the screen lit up, the first thing she saw was Jasmine's unread message from the night before.
The realization hit her in a slow, creeping wave—she had forgotten to respond. That never happened.
For a moment, she just stared at the screen, thumb hovering over the notification. A part of her expected the text to vanish, to be some kind of cruel joke from her subconscious, but it was real.
Jasmine had reached out. And she had ignored it.
Cameron turned onto her back, exhaling a shaky breath. The last time she had seen Jasmine's name on her screen, it had sent her spiraling. Now? Now it just made her feel… tired. Like she was walking up a hill she knew led to a dead end but still debating if she should make the climb anyway.
Her eyes flickered to Rosalie. Last night was different. Softer. There had been something there— something warm, something steady. She didn't know what to do with it yet, but for the first time in a long time, she wasn't entirely opposed to figuring it out.
Jasmine, though.
Cameron pressed the phone to her chest, eyes closing as she let the debate unravel in her mind.
Backing out was the logical choice. She had spent too much time torturing herself over someone who never belonged to her, who would never belong to her. And now that she had something stable, something real within reach, why would she willingly throw herself back into that pit? Why would she let Jasmine's presence stir up a storm when she had just started feeling something close to peace?
But a goodbye could give her closure. If she went, she could see Jasmine one last time, settle the weight in her chest, and walk away knowing she was done. No more lingering thoughts, no more what-ifs. It would be a final act of self-preservation—if she was strong enough to treat it that way.
Her fingers tightened around her phone. She could almost hear Rosalie's voice in her head, telling her it was self-harm. Maybe it was. Maybe she was walking into a fire with no intention of getting burned this time.
Or maybe she was lying to herself again.
Her screen dimmed from inactivity. She tapped it, bringing the message back up. Jasmine's name stared back at her, waiting. Cameron swallowed hard, her heart hammering against her ribs. Before she could overthink it, she typed out a short response.
Cameron: [Sounds good. See you at 2.]
She hit send before she could change her mind.
The moment it was delivered, a pit formed in her stomach. It wasn't regret. It wasn't excitement, either. Just an acknowledgment of the inevitable.
Cameron turned onto her side again, her gaze landing on Rosalie once more. She traced the slope of her shoulder with her eyes, taking in the details she had overlooked before. The way her dyed hair was still vibrant in the dim light. The way her lips parted slightly as she breathed. The way her presence, though quiet, wasn't suffocating— it was just there. Reliable. Real.
If she let herself, she could fall into this. She could let Rosalie be something steady, something safe. But she needed to end this cycle first.
Just one last time.