"What is a smile? Why does it convey so many emotions?"
The questions a person asks in their lifetime are much more than what we can ever imagine.
Though one can't help but only wonder...
"Why do the brightest smiles fade away in such lonely eternal slumber?"
These such-were the thoughts of Arihanna, a 45-year-old nurse, working in the special hospital for orphans. The little boy she was in charge of was Ricky. He was a sweet 13-year-old boy and such a bundle of happiness he was. His smile shined so bright and warm, it could melt the coldest of hearts and Arihanna, was no exception. She had been watching and taking care of Ricky for a long time- 6 years to be exact. Ricky came here when he was no older than 7 years. Even then, he had a smile that outshined all others. Arihanna always had to fake her emotions around Ricky to act cold and ruthless. After all, that was just her character- a cold and strict head nurse. But there was something different about that boy as he always seemed to look through her disguise. And before they both even knew it, they became inseparable. It was their daily shenanigans, Arihanna would be cold to Ricky but would ultimately submit to this bright smile.
And now that brings her to the Present Day.
Arihanna opens the door of her quarters with a thud. Her face devoid of any expression. The room, just like her heart, was dark and cold. She couldn't help but stumble across near her workbench and sat down on it as if all the strength in her legs is sucked by some mysterious force. Her breath hitched as she glanced at the photo frame of her and Ricky. Her face, trying to be rigid but curling up in a slight smile and Ricky- as always, shining with his warm smile.
That was it. After tomorrow, a new kid will be appointed to her. A new face. A new soul. She had seen countless kids come and go, but each of them couldn't shatter her more than Ricky did. She held the photo frame in her hand and stumbled to the bed. The bed let out a creaking sound, pressing under her weight. She grazed Ricky's cheek on the photo as she reminisced about her days with Ricky.
Such a mischievous boy, always keeping her on edge. He loved to play hide and seek, but Rihanna, knowing all his antics, always caught him. And after being caught, he would gasp all so cutely and run into her arms, giggling and smiling. But now... it felt as if he had hid somewhere that not even she could find him anymore. Arihanna- remembering all those memories, pulled the photo frame near her heart, sobbing uncontrollably. The barrier of her heart finally couldn't take it anymore as she let out all her pent-up emotions in heavy, choked sobs.
She hid a secret from Ricky. She had always, always loved him. As her own child that she could never bear, she always saw Ricky as her own flesh and blood. The more she cries, the more she remembers him. All his features, his playful antics, his moody nature to his bright smile. Though one particular memory broke her more than any other.
Ricky, even as such a young boy, always was mature and took great care of his body. He always told her not to dry his hair by a blower because he believed that his pretty hair would be damaged. This memory was a direct contrast to her last memory with Ricky. His face full of life was now dull and emotionless, his shiny eyes were now devoid of any emotion. Arihanna's hands trembled as she shaved Ricky's head. Ricky, even though it was a fake one, managed to force a smile.
"Don't worry, mama... I'll be back."
With these last words, Ricky disappeared forever.
Name of patient: Ricky
Age: 13
Cause of death: Blood cancer
Rihanna, in a daze, slowly walked towards the crowd of people dressed in black. Her ears ringing and her mind heavy. As if all the time has slowed. The crowd was murmuring as they glanced at Rihanna, but she couldn't hear them. All she could hear was her own heartbeat and a loud ringing sound. The closer she was stepped, the more her breath was hitching in her chest. And after several steps, there he was. The boy that she loved so dearly. The boy that she pampered and took care of for so long. The boy that she considered her own blood and flesh... lying... in the coffin.
She fell to her knees as she struggled to get closer to the coffin. Her body trembling and her breath becoming more and more shallow. Ricky was there. His eyes closed and his skin pale. She leaned closer to caress his cheek but she could feel the coldness of his body without even touching him.
Closed eyes, no pulse, bluish pale skin, the cold body, but the more of a proof that Ricky was dead, was his expression. He wasn't smiling anymore. Her precious boy wasn't smiling anymore. Her eyes widened as if she couldn't comprehend the absurdity of this situation. Her pulse quickened, her heartbeat went crazy. As she felt her head getting more and more lighter, she looked at Ricky one last time, before passing out.
After several hours, Arihanna woke up on the hospital bed. Her eyes devoid of any emotion. The doctor next to her started to tell her about her condition but she couldn't hear him, as if only her body was present there and her mind was somewhere else.
One week later...
Arihanna stood in front of Ricky's grave, her eyes moist. She had indeed lost someone so close to her.
"Ricky... There has not been a single day when I haven't felt deep regret for not showing you the love you deserved. But... But I'll be better. I won't repeat the same mistake again, okay? So be comfortable up there... May God Protect you."
Arihanna said some words, her voice crumbled in between, but still, acting brave, she managed to say her heart.
"Mama... who is that?"
A tiny girl walked behind Arihanna and clung onto the hem of her dress. Arihanna, with moist eyes, picked the girl up, kissed her cheek, and introduced her to Ricky with a smile.
"Aria... He's your big brother."
The End.