It didn't take a genius to figure out why Tsunade was laughing, Orochimaru looked strangely smug and why Hiruzen was letting out a long-suffering sigh at the mere sight of them.
"Hime. Orochi-teme. Sensei." Jiraiya spoke stiffly, desperate to cling to his dignity.
Naruto merely shoved a pinky finger into his ear and looked at the three Hokage portraits on the wall, completely blocking out all and every indignant sound coming from his 'father'. He could deal with the lot of them.
While the old man tried to convince the three others in the room of why him being a father wasn't a bad thing and that his stupid habits wouldn't rub off on him- Naruto occupied himself with staring at the picture of the Sandaime. The man was far younger-looking than he remembered. Mostly because the old man actually had hair on his head and it wasn't gray. He also didn't have that bloody mole on his face. The damn thing was always so distracting. Perhaps if he gave the old Kage a lotion he could prevent it from appearing? Although the thought of a nine-year-old- almost ten-year-old boy giving a forty-five plus man lotion didn't exactly look that good. Pedophilia and all that. He grimaced. Better to buy the old bastard a ticket to the spa or something.
"-ruto!"
The sound of voices forced the young Hokage to snap his mind back to moderate attention.
Everyone was looking at him expectantly.
"Sorry, you say something?"
Tsunade snorted, Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose, Hiruzen sweat-dropped but an amused smile on his lips while Orochimaru suddenly connected the dots of why his teammate even adopted the boy in the first place; he was just as big of an idiot as Jiraiya.
"I asked," Hiruzen's eyes shimmered with mirth, "How are you finding Konoha Naruto-kun?"
Ah. He's not supposed to have been here before. Well shit. "Erm. Lot's of trees.. and stuff," he said intelligently, and Jiraiya let out a groan.
"Trees!?"
Naruto gave his father a blank stare, "Uzu is an island in the middle of nowhere, I've gutted fish for a living, and I woke up with a seaside view every morning. Yes, idiot, trees."
Orochimaru smirked, amused and a bit surprised at the witty comment from a mere nine-year-old. Tsunade beamed, "I like this brat."
"Cheeky little shit," Jiraiya grumbled and frowned at the wall that seemed to offend him with its mere presence.
Hiruzen chuckled, "Do you have any ideas of what you want to do now? Any dreams for the future?"
He was well aware that Naruto was the Jinchuuriki and that he'd been chosen due to his connection with Jiraiya and thus his loyalty to the leaf, but he didn't want the boy to feel forced in to becoming a shinobi if he didn't want to.
"I want to be a shinobi."
The man mentally snorted. Of course, he'd want to be a ninja. "The life of a shinobi can be hard Naruto-kun."
"I can deal."
Tsunade raised a brow, "Confident, aren't you?" she wasn't very impressed by the slight show of arrogance from the boy. The life of a shinobi wasn't easy, and death walked hand in hand with every mission they accepted.
"He'll be fine," Jiraiya reassured a little too confidently and nonchalantly.
"How do you know that?" Orochimaru raised a single brow in obvious scepticism.
Jiraiya shrugged, "He's already at the level of a jounin."
Tsunade snorted loudly, but at her teammate's utterly serious face she quickly frowned and turned to look at Naruto who also didn't seem all that amused either. Her gaze flickered to her other teammate who seemed thoughtful and curious and then to her sensei who looked a tad bit surprised as well. "You can't be serious."
"Perfectly."
"When did you start your training Naruto-kun?" Orochimaru asked, intrigued.
Naruto hummed, "When I was four, I guess. I didn't go to the academy. Didn't have to cuz I learned from watching the shinobi in the village. And then I had Maki-sensei show me some things when I got stuck. And the old man of course."
"Oi, I'm not that old!"
"Fine, Ero-sennin." Naruto shrugged but the was a sliver of mischief in his eyes and Hiruzen couldn't help but smile at the two.
"Ero-sennin.." Tsunade shook her head incredulously. There wasn't a name more fit for her teammate than that. Though it was quite surprising that the boy could call him that and get away with it.
"Yeah! And don't forget it!" Jiraiya pointed at the kid with a proud grin on his face, and the blond only gave him a flat stare.
Then again, Tsunade mentally sighed, the man was a bloody moron on the best of days.
"I'm afraid I won't be able to give you the rank of jounin without seeing how you work Naruto-kun," Hiruzen cleared his throat and went back to business, "However if you go through a test, then I can grant you the chunin rank. I take it Jiraiya that you will take him on as your apprentice?"
"Yup." the Sannin agreed, "Could always shove him in a genin team thought."
"Excuse me?" Naruto cracked his knuckles and smiled sweetly at his father.
"Or not." Jiraiya took a step back as Orochimaru, Tsunade and Hiruzen blinked slowly. The man was whipped by a nine-year-old boy.
"It's not a bad idea." Hiruzen then said as he smiled down at the boy, "Jiraiya was meant to take on a genin team next year. If anything it might help you make some friends around your own age even if you're more talented than a mere genin.
Naruto scratched his chin in thought, the display looking far more endearing than it normally would have if he wasn't nine years old but rather forty and sitting behind the desk he now stood in front of. He then nodded, "I guess that would be alright. I need D-ranks for a normal promotion anyway, right?"
"That's true. You do need a certain amount of missions for a promotion. Although your case would be slightly different. But first, you'll have to go through a couple of tests."
The boy waved it off, "That's fine. I can do D-ranks to kill some time anyway. It's no problems. When will I do the tests?"