Rummaging through his drawers, Tora tossed all his clothes onto the floor one after the other.
— Black, more black… No, no.
He didn't want to wear that color. In fact, he didn't even like it. He wanted something warmer, like the rays of the sun.
There were almost no clothes left. So, he opened the last drawer, and at the bottom, under the pile of black fabric, he found a white sleeveless hoodie and a pair of black cargo shorts that reached his knees. It wasn't exactly what he'd expected, but the white was indeed the perfect opposite of the black.
"Did I have this? Maybe it's my brother's, and it ended up here by accident. If that's the case, it must be old, because there's no way it would fit him now, haha."
With this outfit, his arm and leg muscles were accentuated, giving him an impression of lightness. His body hair was almost translucent, subtle, but still visible. Until now, he had looked a bit down, but in this outfit, one could almost say he looked cute. But that was definitely something he should never be told. Otherwise, he'd be way too embarrassed to wear it out.
For some reason, he felt like he had to be perfect today. So, he didn't take his old, torn backpack. Instead, he slipped into his brother's room. His brother left every day at 5 AM, so there was no risk. There, he grabbed a stylish black leather designer bag and stuffed all his things inside.
"With all the ones he already has, he won't even notice if one goes missing."
It was warm enough, so he decided not to wear a jacket and slipped on his brother's blue Converse.
He was now standing in front of the door. He turned the handle and swung it wide open. A pleasant breeze brushed against his face. But despite all his efforts, his legs refused to move. He couldn't do it. All that effort had been in vain. How could he have been so naive? He would never be able to move forward. He wasn't like the others. He turned around, ready to climb the stairs again, but once more, he froze. He didn't know what to do anymore. Both options were unbearable.
He took a step back, uncertain. Then, taking a deep breath, he continued his walk until he was outside, closing the door behind him. He took a long breath of fresh air before turning around.
"The sky is blue, the clouds are white, like in a painting. The weather is nice outside.
The sun is shining and warming me up. It's not like under my blankets, this warmth feels nice.
The wind is gentle, it doesn't make me shiver.
It's not cold today. I didn't even need to wear a jacket.
Yes, I'm not cold. No, not this time."
This time, he took the first bus to the station. Sitting in the bus, he slipped his hand into the pocket of his shorts, but discovered it was empty. He checked the other pocket, then those of his hoodie, and panic began to rise inside him. He didn't have his earbuds with him !
"I left them in my room ! What am I going to do now ?"
The surrounding noise made his heart race. He wasn't used to this kind of environment, where every sound seemed to collide in a deafening chaos : the bus's engine growling, the constant hum of the road vibrating in his ears, the whistle of the wind rushing through the cracks of the windows, the phones ringing, the cries and whispers of the passengers blending into an unbearable cacophony...
It was loud. Too loud. Disturbing, oppressive, almost nauseating. It felt like listening to music at full volume, but music without harmony, distorted to the point of being unbearable. Worse still, he couldn't skip the track. This song never stopped, had no lyrics, no rhythm. It was nothing more than an unending tumult. And so, the ride quickly turned into a true form of torture.
In the train, it wasn't any better. The last time, he had left late, and there had been almost no one. But this time, it was rush hour, and the train was packed with students. However, with each stop, fewer and fewer people got on.
Tora had curled up on the floor, his head between his knees. To distract himself, he imagined a scenario in his head :
"The train had been overrun by zombies, which is why I couldn't sit in the carriages. I couldn't even look out the window, because if I did, I'd see, with horror, the buildings on fire, half-destroyed. The reason ? Probably the government deciding to bomb the city to wipe out the zombies, without considering the survivors."
When the train switched tracks, a slight jolt caused Tora to lose his balance.
"There, just as I said, another bomb dropped not far from here. I really have no luck. I'm probably the last survivor of this city. But still, is that a reason to condemn me to my fate ?"
And so, time passed, and he finally arrived at his destination. How did he know this without looking ? Easy. All the students were getting off here. With the noise gradually dying down, it could only mean one thing : they were all getting off. Although it would have been more logical to think that the descent would have caused more noise, Tora knew how to tell the difference. He could constantly hear the conversations around him. He couldn't help it. He had often dreamed of taking part in those same conversations, but instead, he was forced to admire them from afar.
At least, that's the explanation Tora would have given to seem cool. In reality, the stops were announced by the conductor over the intercom anyway, so it was impossible to be mistaken, unless one was deaf or distracted.