Chapter 4: The Cosmic Conundrum of Breakfast
Kiran had been through a lot in the past twenty-four hours—mystical awakenings, cosmic knowledge overload, and a drone that never shut up. But none of it compared to the horror he was now facing.
He was starving.
"Do gods eat?" he asked, clutching his stomach as it growled like a caged beast.
Aadhya, ever the enigmatic guide, barely glanced at him. "We don't need to, but we can."
Kiran's eyes lit up. "So you're saying there's a possibility of breakfast?"
Unit 37, floating beside him, beeped. "Correction: Given your current metabolic state, the probability of survival without food is—"
"I don't need the science, Wall-E. I need eggs."
Aadhya sighed. "Fine. We'll take a short break."
Kiran threw his fists in the air. "Yes! The universe is full of mysteries, but breakfast is eternal."
---
They arrived at a ruined outpost, a place that had once been a bustling hub of cosmic travelers. Now, it was just a skeleton of broken structures, echoing whispers of past civilizations. Kiran was more interested in the dusty, abandoned food stall in the middle.
"I can work with this." He clapped his hands together. "Alright, folks, time for a Kiran-special breakfast."
Aadhya watched with mild curiosity as Kiran rummaged through ancient cabinets, producing various ingredients. Some of them looked like normal food. Others looked like they could explode.
Unit 37 hovered over his shoulder. "Analysis: 72% of the ingredients you are holding are not meant for human consumption."
Kiran shrugged. "And 28% is edible. That's a passing grade where I come from."
Aadhya crossed her arms. "I really don't think this is necessary."
Kiran smirked. "Oh, but it is. Have you ever had cosmic pancakes?"
Aadhya opened her mouth to respond, but Kiran was already flipping a pancake that glowed faintly with an otherworldly hue. The scent was intoxicating—warm, sweet, and just a little bit magical.
Aadhya hesitated, then took a bite. Her cosmic aura flickered for a moment.
Unit 37 beeped. "Warning: Subject Aadhya is experiencing an unprecedented level of serotonin."
Aadhya's expression remained neutral, but Kiran caught a flicker of something in her eyes. He grinned. "Good, right?"
She chewed slowly. "It's… acceptable."
Kiran fist-pumped. "Ha! I made a goddess appreciate carbs!"
Unit 37 beeped again. "Correction: You have momentarily distracted an immortal being with sugar. Hardly an achievement."
Kiran wagged a finger. "Let me have this."
---
With their impromptu breakfast over, they continued their journey through the ruins. The walls shimmered with ghostly energy, remnants of old technology. Kiran kept poking things, much to Aadhya's dismay.
"Must you touch everything?" she asked as he examined a glowing panel.
Kiran grinned. "Wouldn't be an adventure if I didn't press random buttons."
Unit 37 beeped. "Analysis: This is precisely why humans should not be allowed near advanced technology."
Kiran ignored them and pressed a button. The ground beneath them immediately gave way.
---
They landed in a subterranean chamber filled with strange artifacts and a single, ominous-looking pedestal in the center.
Aadhya groaned. "This is exactly why I told you not to touch anything."
Kiran dusted himself off. "Okay, but hear me out—what if this was supposed to happen?"
Unit 37 hovered beside him. "Analysis: There is a 94% probability that you have doomed us all."
Kiran winced. "That's higher than usual."
A deep rumbling filled the chamber as the pedestal began to glow. A large, floating entity appeared, its form shifting like a living constellation. It spoke in a booming voice.
"WHO DARES AWAKEN THE GUARDIAN OF THE LOST?"
Kiran glanced at Aadhya. "Okay, real talk—what are the chances this thing is friendly?"
Aadhya sighed. "Slim."
The Guardian roared, the air crackling with energy. "INTRUDERS! PREPARE TO BE OBLITERATED!"
Kiran raised a hand. "Counteroffer: How about a pancake?"
The Guardian paused. "A… what?"
Kiran reached into his bag and pulled out a leftover cosmic pancake. "Listen, I know we just met, and you're all about the whole 'obliterating intruders' thing, but have you ever tasted something so good that it makes you reconsider your life choices?"
The Guardian blinked. "I… have not."
Kiran tossed the pancake toward it. The cosmic entity hesitated, then took a bite. The energy in the room shifted.
"This…" The Guardian's voice softened. "This is… delightful."
Aadhya pinched the bridge of her nose. "Are you seriously solving cosmic encounters with breakfast?"
Kiran grinned. "Never underestimate the power of good food."
Unit 37 beeped. "Analysis: This is both the most idiotic and the most effective diplomatic strategy ever recorded."
The Guardian, now glowing a peaceful shade of blue, nodded. "Very well. You may pass. And… if you have more of these 'pancakes,' I will consider granting you additional boons."
Kiran's eyes sparkled. "Oh, buddy, do I have a deal for you."
Aadhya groaned. "This is going to be a very long journey."
---
And so, armed with nothing but his wit, questionable cooking skills, and an immortal guide who was slowly losing patience, Kiran continued his adventure. Because if there was one thing he had learned so far, it was this:
The universe may be vast and full of mysteries, but a good meal could solve almost anything.