I rested my chin on a pile of textbooks. Even when the teacher told the class to sit down, I stayed with my arms crossed, staring at the person next to me. At some point, tears began to fall. My sadness was hard to describe—it came from the image of my parents working tirelessly, from the tender questions my grandparents asked about my new school, and from all my tireless efforts day and night.
If he were sitting next to me now, I would clutch his shirt tightly so that my hand could rest in his warm palm. Memories are always wrapped in a glittering illusion, and I kept believing they were flawless.
My eyes were wide open, fixed on Vũ, who looked back at me with clear annoyance. But I was still busy searching for the image of Phong from years ago.
Suddenly, an English-Vietnamese dictionary slammed down on my head before I could react. I pulled it off and quietly put it back into my bag. Even though it left a bump, I didn't care who threw it.
"Lâm Anh B, go rinse the cleaning rag."
I sat up. Recess already? The rag was just cleaned last period—how did it get dirty so fast? I didn't question it and walked up to grab the board rag.
As soon as I entered the restroom, my arm was seized tightly by a strong hand, and my back was pushed forward.
"What are you doing?!"
I was being forced to go somewhere.
"Every girl from class 11B3 gets a tour of the boys' restroom."
"NO… NO… LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT TO…!!!"
I struggled so hard my shoes slipped off, but the arm pressing against my shoulder didn't loosen. At the restroom door, I dug my fingers into the wall. Someone was prying them off, laughing maliciously.
"I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE, I DON'T WANT TO—!!!"
Five fingers slipped, then ten. The boys dragged me deeper inside. All I could do was shut my eyes tight and scream in fear.
"Stop messing around or she'll pee her pants."
Thanks to that voice coming from outside, I was let go. I sprinted back to my seat. Thank God I hadn't seen anything.
But it didn't end there. During the next break, the class president asked me to buy a pen. At first, I was suspicious, but it was crowded at the canteen—no one could do anything to me there, right? I convinced myself and didn't refuse. Maybe going into the boys' restroom was some kind of initiation?
"Buy me a red Sting."
"Okay."
"And a grilled pork-flavored Poca."
"Okay."
I bought everything and handed it out according to the requests, then returned to study.
"AAAHHH!"
I screamed and jumped onto my chair. The boys from the upper rows rushed over.
"What happened?"
But I quickly brushed it off, hugging that terrible thing to my chest.
Vũ came in, and I stuffed it into my bag. I didn't even wrap it in newspaper.
I heard giggles all around but pretended not to hear.
"I… I accidentally stepped on your seat. Let me get a napkin to clean it."
I mumbled nervously.
"No need."
Vũ took wet wipes and tissues from a girl in the front row.
"Lâm Anh B, did this guy bully you again?"
Not knowing the full story, Lệ Quyên ran in and stood with her hands on her hips in front of Vũ.
"So annoying."
Vũ tried to leave, but she blocked his way. I just wished he'd leave the seat ASAP.
"Lâm Anh B, tell me, what did he do to you?"
"Nothing, he didn't do anything to me!"
"Then why are you so scared of him?"
Vũ looked like he wanted to toss Lệ Quyên straight into a lake. Too bad she could swim.
"Okay okay, class is about to start. Vũ didn't do anything. I just felt like screaming, that's all. Ha."
"Did you hear that?"
Vũ flicked his finger lightly on her forehead. I could already imagine how this would go: Vũ is the school bad boy, Quyên is the brave heroine. Upset by his bullying, she stood up for the weaklings like me. Then he changed, became gentler, and they ended up together. At their wedding, I would be invited… as the catalyst.
But none of that mattered compared to what was in my bag. Someone had slipped it in while I was out buying snacks. Whoever it was, they were cruel.
I took the initiative to wipe Vũ's seat when Quyên returned to her desk. Throughout the entire lesson, I focused only on hoping Vũ wouldn't randomly check my bag and find the dictionary. Some classmates kept glancing back at me, clearly amused.
During break, Vũ stayed put. Even worse, the boys crowded around to hang out with him.
"Go back to your seats, I wanna sleep." – But he didn't look sleepy at all.
"…"
I wanted to say something while it was just the two of us, but couldn't.
"What is it?!"
How did he know I wanted to talk? Was my face that readable?
"Uh… um… just wondering why you're not hanging out today?"
I had to get rid of that thing—not something you want to keep in your bag next to a guy.
"You tryna control me or something?"
"N-no…"
His glare was terrifying, like fire burning through my fear.
"Hey, let me borrow your dictionary."
Minh Thu from the front row turned and asked, making me jump.
"No… I… didn't bring it today."
I stammered. Everyone had electronic dictionaries except me. Maybe hers was broken, but I couldn't lend mine. I didn't want to open my bag in front of Vũ, so I hugged it tightly.
"You always bring it during English. I don't believe you forgot today. Give me your bag so I can check."
Minh Thu fully turned around and started pulling at my bag.
"I said I didn't bring it!"
BANG!
Everything in my bag scattered across the floor—books, cash, pens, and that thing hit the wall before falling. Vũ had snatched my bag and thrown it.
"Who the hell did this?!"
"…"
I couldn't think. I just rushed to gather everything, humiliated to the core. In front of twenty guys, that personal item of ours—used during our time of the month—was stained red.
"I SAID WHO STUFFED THAT INTO HER BAG?!"
I wiped my tears with my wrist, quietly grabbing some tissues to wrap it up. Lệ Quyên ran over to help.
"This is lipstick. Whoever did this better fess up before I call the supervisor. I know who uses this shade in class."
I stuffed everything back, yanked it from her hands, and returned to my seat.
"You dumbass! Who would put that in her bag?! If it's not yours, why're you embarrassed? SHOW IT TO ME SO I CAN DEAL WITH WHOEVER DID IT!"
Vũ gripped my arm tightly.
"That's enough!" – I looked up at him for just a second before lowering my eyes again, tears falling like rain.
I was mad at Vũ. I had pride, shame, and dignity like any girl would.
"Idiotic." – He walked out and skipped the last class.
Quyên still wanted to investigate the culprit, but I told her to drop it. What good would it do?
After school, I grabbed Vũ's stuff and packed it. He'd surely come back for it later.
"Let me carry that for Vũ."
I handed it to Quyên and quietly walked home.