.
~~~~~~[START]
.
The night ever so silent,
Its buildings blooming with lights as they shine over the concrete jungle,
mimicking the reflection of the moon.
Yet, even with its mimicking nature,
Standing on one of its towering buildings,
Gazing down with eyes so serious,
A teen stood there preparing to end his life.
His figure standing right at the edge.
The wind whispering with its blows as if a final attempt to announce his departure.
1,776 m high yet his eyes showed no fear,
No hesitation, as if death was a show of mercy,
Maybe it was.
20 years old yet Zephyr had just finished high school,
Standing there thinking about how he had spent his whole life screwing up.
He had been held back three times, and yet even though he had now finished school, his diploma felt less like a win and more like a participation trophy.
Now, he's got no job, no cash, nothing to show for it.
His parents don't even hide it anymore, the side-eye, the "why can't you be more like your cousin?" talks.
He knows they see him as a disgrace, and it stings every time he walks through that door.
Just yesterday, his mother had been complaining about how he eats too much, speaking about how she can't afford him and how he should move out.
"Other people have it worse," he mutters, but it doesn't stop the spiral.
He's pissed at himself for caring so much, but he can't shake it off.
University was never an option— because his grades are too shitty,
no money, no plan. Everyone else seems to have their path figured out, and he's just... lost.
What is he even good at?
What does he even want?
He doesn't know, and that blank space in his head feels more like a void swallowing him whole.
Then there's the anime, the novels, the comics.
The addiction…
How much he immersed himself, escaping into worlds where losers turn into heroes.
He knows he's hooked, he knows it's not "real," but it's better than facing the mess outside the realm of his consciousness, outside his imagination.
He's not dumb—he knows jumping doesn't fix anything.
But right then, it's not about fixing. It's about stopping.
The noise, the failure, the nothing-
He just wants it quiet.
He hesitates…
Thinking about how his failures are scarier than death.
Moving his head, he gets a glimpse of the long awaiting floor,
A glimpse of death coming.
He moves his feet, moving closer,
The wind as if impatient blows toward his body,
He almost falls but he steadies his stance,
His breaths rise higher,
His body begins to shake,
But…. He has already made his decision.
He has already decided,
Closing his eyes,
And raising his hands in prayer,
"Forgive me….God",
Then…. He leaps,
His body falls,
….Yet he feels nothing.
No wind pushing against body,
No feeling of falling slope,
Just nothing.
It was strange, yet Zephyr still kept his eyes closed,
As if waiting for the pain that is to come,
The pain of body slamming ground,
The pain of soul leaving,
A pain far more peaceful than failure.
"…"
A hug.
That's what it felt like, a hug.
He felt as if his body was slowly being embraced,
As if he was being given a hug,
Yet, avoiding his instinct of panic,
He just hugged back,
He could feel something hugging his body,
No…it was someone,
Never in his life has he felt such warmth,
His mother, not like she has never hugged him before, it is just that when she did, he was still too young to remember.
His father, who was rarely around was far more focused on his failing business than his son,
So it felt foreign, very foreign,
Yet the feeling was far more pleasant than any pleasure he had ever felt,
It was warm, soft yet vulnerable,
The space between him and the feeling was so little, that he could hear the sound of his rapid beating heart,
And now, he could feel a tear falling from his eye,
After a second, he could feel another, only this time from his other,
He was crying,
Even if faint, even if not the first,
It felt pleasant, too pleasant.
Then, Zephyr forced himself to open his eyes,
They were bleary, but yet as they retained their sight he saw it,
he saw him,
he saw God.
______
"It's ok, it's ok", God spoke as he stopped the hug and patted my shoulder,
I didn't feel scared, I didn't feel any panic,
I just felt peace.
I didn't know why, but I knew who he was, he didn't need to tell me, he didn't have to speak,
He wasn't speaking, because there was no voice, just pending silence filled with understanding,
"Welcome", he said, moving his body and sitting on a wooden chair,
The room was empty, and silence covered its purely white-coloured walls,
He didn't have a body, he didn't have a face,
And yet I could see him,
I could feel him,
I could hear what he was saying.
"What is this?", I finally questioned, my voice yet speaking released no sound,
"This is the light", he answered, "the path that leads to heaven",
"So I'm going to heaven?",
"Yes", he replied,
And before I could question, a slot machine appeared out of nowhere,
It was large yet I didn't even see it appear,
It felt as if it was always there, to begin with,
Its base was pure white and its screen was fully blank and for a second I couldn't help but think 'So God gambles', before god laughed and explained that it is a process used for those who fail to understand what they desire,
I didn't understand what that meant, but my consciousness felt so calm that I didn't even bother asking.
"Heaven is a destination," he addressed, "a karma that responds to the way you live your life, a karma that responds to desire",
I didn't understand, but his soundless words felt so warm I couldn't help but not interrupt,
"It is a process that goes on for cycles of eternal", he mattered "cycles of life rebirth",
As he looked at the slot machine, I moved my body and put my hand on its steady handle,
"This is your first cycle", he spoke moving closer to my direction, "so I'll give you a gift",
And I didn't question, I just moved my hand and pulled the slot.
It spun, yet even with its pace, it made no sound,
After what seemed to be eternity, it stopped.
~[Mahoraga]
I was stunned, I didn't know why but the word sounded too familiar, but before I could process the happenings
"now for the world", God spoke again, as the word written on the slot machine became blank,
Once again I moved my hand and placed it on the handle,
Then it spun.
Then after some time, it stopped
~[Solo leveling]
"Potential", I could hear God speak,
And yet again before my thoughts could question,
"Don't go out there destroying the world will you", he spoke, with a wide smile,
I didn't know how I could see the smile because he had no face, but I could see it,
It was wide and unsettling,
And before I could process my thoughts,
I was gone,
my body,
my consciousness,
my thoughts,
It was all unresponsive
Inanimate
Out cold,
And yet I heard him,
He spoke his final words,
"Have a good second life, Zephyr."
~~~~~~[END]
####
This is something I wanted to do for a while, so I hope I make it into something amazing, most of you are probably coming from my other fanfic, but this one is gonna be difficult lol 🥹
120 stones for the next chapter
Go to my PT for future extra chapters
patreon.com/DUSK_IS_ME984