Blank, empty and devoid
She glared, she could've just rendered me a punctured scrap of flesh with her stare.
Her eyes, so human, keen and tepid— no, they don't feel human at all.
Our eyes met, I cowered. she threw back an inexplicable look with no irony— or rather no sentiment at all.
Then she dissipated like the wind.
.....
"Your life sucks, right?" he asked in a wry smile.
"Yeah it does. However, isn't it the same for everyone else?" .
"You don't get the point, kid" more amused, he said.
"There is no point in understanding nor comprehending anything thoroughly," I continued
"as long as you are satisfied with your explanation, you can just talk it off with a tad sophism."
"I never had qualms, and I will never do".
"You think so?" he continued, more fiercer than before, "you never fail to impress me"
"That's some cockamamie drivel you spittin' right now" he laughed it off.
"However, dissonance leads to chaos. Paradigm shifts leads to entropy.
When two worlds collide, they both fulminate. Leaving nothing but pure traces
remarking their last moments."
"Omitting things, Aren't you? what about in the context of incommensurability. When two worlds are close together yet they exist in different verses. You may say they are related, yes they truly are related—each one is a contradictory to the other. Each one defines the other. In that case isn't contrast such an aesthetic thing"
Distant yet close.
True contradictory.
True beauty.
"I didn't guess you were a believer of that juxtaposition thing? I thought you were the average philistine Intellectual wanna-be".
"Am I?"
"There is no point in haranguing nor remonstrating."
He continued.
"Such a notion that bewitch someone—someone as absurd as you."
he shrugged.
"You never fail to regale me, kid. I grant you this"
I guess that's enough soliloquy for today.
....
"And that's how you can reverse the quadratic formula, any questions?"
"Ichinose, can you solve the next question?"
I stood up, filed to the board.
My footsteps must look awkward, well It's not like I do care.
Math is primarily not my alley, although I can probably say the same for the rest of the subjects.
scribbles, scribbles and then done.
"that's how you can solve the reversed quadratic formation— back to your seat, shiro"
"any further questions?"
the bell rang, and boom.
In an instant the classroom was as empty as the Great dessert.
I don't even think those goons consider it a classroom.
More like a dungeon.
To be honest it's more likely I'm on the odd side, however. For some reason I don't really get all the drastic shift from the melancholic atmosphere to the happy-go-lucky one, once the bell rings.
And it really bothers me sticking out like a sore thumb.
What bothers me more is those who are absolutely desperate for that cup of attention.
I never once understood a single one of them and I will never do, I reckon.
People who fail to see the bigger picture, people who go for such extremities seeking other people's validation.
Even if you procure it, it will eventually fade away.
Once people acknowledge you, you become an object of comparsion, they regard you—or rather see you with what they see in you."
Here's a simple analogy:
let's say for example, you are a student who stands out as an artist in your school.
once people start acknowledging you for your talent, you will start being acknowledged for your talent regardless of what person you are, in other words your talent/specialty overshadowed you as a person and thus you will only be seen as a vessel of your talent.
Even If you try to revert everything back to normal, even if you lose your talent.
you will only be thought of as 'the person who was once good at drawing, sadly he fell off'.
I digress a lot, I must say.
"shirou, you are awake?" mr. kishimora asked in a worried manner.
Oh, I must've looked dumb.
"Good grieve, I was about to take you to the school's infirmary"
"You just needed an excuse to hit on the school nurse" I retorted.
"You didn't bring your lunch or — did you get dumped by one of those girls" mr. kishimora asked.
"Guess I'm heading right now to tell head teacher watanabe about the type of man that is planning to propose to his dear precious daughter."
"Alright, you win"
"No, I'm really heading"
"Stop, that's taking it a step too far. You have my apologies"
"Anyway, you are not going to eat anything?" mr.kishimora asked
"I don't feel like it"
"Snap out of that gloomy face already boy, I'm going to jap you"
"I have just realized something?"
"Wich is ?"
"I'm heading back home"
"already? what about the remaining classes?"
"I don't really care about the credits to begin with" I shrugged, already half the way there.
"guess no matter what I say, It wouldn't pull through. well, good luck, kiddo"
He mustered a lukewarm smile.
...
I marched up to the roof, my place of recess.
I really like the place there, although It's a bit arid.
I pulled out my mp3 player, I did a good job smuggling it.
I don't need much in life. just my mp3 player, a nice high place and above all a state of solace.
How many birds do swarm in the horizon? that's a good question.
By a good question, I mean a question that can't be answered—a question that is pure randomness, and has no clear answer.
That's the way I like things, to be vague and ambigiuous as much as possible.
No matter how great the posed question is. once It's answered, It becomes a trivia.
An aimless question.
An answerless question.
An excuse to look at the sky.
An excuse to prostrate slothfully.
A way of distraction.
A way of detachment.
...,
I felt it— a pressure running through my veins, I felt it digging into my back. That humid
feeling, of being watched, of being peeped upon from somewhere.
Guess I should've called it a day earlier.
Pitch black eyes; thoroughly black.
They stared at me. A silhouette—there was a silhouette.
"Who are you?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.
No answer came.
Guess I should be heading back home.
.....
"The chickens should've hatched, c'mon already"
mom said, tossing the errand over me.
"alright, alright. Just stop all the nagging"
"such an Insolent child, I should've given birth to a cute girl"
"I'm not stepping a foot out"
"Fine, I recced it"
...
"this is honestly annoying".
And what is more annoying is that habit i picked up recently of talking to myself aloud, guess I have to stick to the monologues.
I drifted to the chicken house, took hold of one of the handles.
what is with the smell !?
Honestly, I think I will gag any moment.
As soon as I swung the gates open, My face went pale.
The chickens—or rather the decapitated corpses were scattered all over the floor
In a gruesome—atrocious manner.
Butchered, beheaded, slayed and strangled.
Life is ruthless, but that's taking it way too far.
Why would someone do this anyway, and why would they behead the poor animals in such a diabolic way.
This has to be the doing of some mad psycho middle-aged man.
Wait—I remembered.
Those pitch black eyes staring at me.
It's irrelevant at the moment though. I'm not that type of a convenient thinker who would simply connect everything together.
Truth is far more complicated, but the conclusion—or rather what you make out of the truth is insignificant and in some cases; nonexistent.
Alright, I dwadled enough already, I should head back home to inform mom of the mini butchery that took place in our courtyard.
Black.
They stared at me—again.
I didn't feel the least bit scared.
I'm not trying to show off or feign courage, I'm stating what I genuinely felt.
We continued staring at each other for 3—5—7—13—20 minutes.
For the first time in my life, I felt it—it was truly amusing.
And then she is gone.
Welp, that's enough for today. Let's see what kind of yelling I will be taking , once I get back home.
.....
3 days since the poor chickens met their demise.
I thought we were in an epoch of true peace, honestly.
Yeah, I know it's kind of funny coming from me—well, it was intended to be a joke.
What about my mom's reaction?— she is still creeped up to the moment she even called the police to go through a full-fledged investigation.
I don't really think that type of crime is easy to trace, also the police should've a lot of more important matter than some slain chicken wings.
...
New morning, I did the same tedious school routine: waked up, grabbed a quick breakfast, dressed myself, and headed off to school.
What I think of school goes without saying of course.
...
"Ichinose," a voice bombarded me as soon as i boarded off the bus.
It was Shina.
"Oh, Shina. How is it going" I waved dismissively "I have a class. Later"
"Hold on" She deflected my perfect dismissing strategy "There is something I need to talk to you about."
Oh, god.
"Alright, but hurry up. I have a class soon".
"It's a quickie, don't sweat it"
.....
"Is it really that necessary—to get seated on that lousy bench in a foresaken courtyard"
"That's for the dramatic atmosphere"
Our friend seems to have a difefrent—unique sense of humor.
It isn't like mine is any better.
"Cut to the chase already"
"Alright. You know Tsukasa, the class rep?"
"Yeah that insuffer—fine lady" My tongue almost slipped.
Damn you, useless organ.
Yes, I vent out by cursing my own tongue.
"What about her though?"
"She is missing, her parents are rummaging the whole city for her"
"And what does that have to do with me, you know I don't care the slightest"
"Well, the student council confirmed that your best friend shenei was the last one to interact with her"
"And why not talk to him yourselves?"
"We couldn't reach him, it looks like he concealed himself somewhere—wich adds to the suspicions."
"Maybe he is just missing, like Tsukasa?"
"That doesn't seem like the case, his parents have no qualms whatsoever—wich proves the point that he didn't just leave abruptly"
She noticed my misleading question. Impressive.
"And so you believe I'm the only one capable of 'meeting' with him?" I asked
"Yeah, we do. You should be glad of doing so—unless you are a partner in the crime or something."
"You are insane for leaping into such a conclusion. You are accusing me of abducting someone else?"
"Well, neither you nor your friend was on good terms with her."
Well, that doesn't make sense (unless it was that type of a teen-demographic school show in wich the main character is a charismatic school girl with a reverse harem)
"So you are asking me to dispatch an interrogation, you—the student council couldn't pull out?"
"yes, more or less"
"Fine" I sighed,
"But isn't there a word for when you ask someone to do something, especially when there is no profit"
"p-please"
"Alright I will try to find him as soon as possible. Now, excuse me."
She tugged the him of my shirt.
"Don't falter"
.....
Last week, I promised Shina to look for my best friend—the prime suspect of the student council rep's disappearance—Shinei. However, there are some details I deliberately left out, for example: the fight I had with him right before both of their disappearance.
well, it's not like I'm feeling guilty or something. It's just that in this kind of predicaments. the more details you provide—the more it pours into your disadvantage.
Yeah, my conscience is clear.
I wonder if such a thing really exists, or is it just a global accepted fool to create some delusional awareness of an 'opposing force' in the wrong doers' minds.
Yeah I know that this kind of argument is pure laughing material, even for a 6 years old kid. However, I don't intend to stop.
Well, it's going to be an easy job. I already know where he did 'conceal' himself.
If Shenei is going to hide somewhere. It got to be our childhood sanctuary.
I jogged, until I reached my destination.
And then out of the blue, she reappeared.
.....
"What do you intend to be, kid"
Silence.
"Your brother—he is—he is"
"What happened to him — my dear Shingei"
Disemboweled corpse.
Pointed finger—over me.
"Yes I killed him"
I didn't.
But I wished.
Sobbing, He continued wailing and shrieking.
It's the first time I have ever seen him like this.
For some reason, I felt pleasure.
He seized me by the throat, "Why did you—Why did you?"
Are you really asking?
....
Yikes, I woke up.
I don't even remember sleeping.
The hay I was lying on smelt kind of fishy.
Time to finish the gig already, I'm starving.
...
I marched into the empty factory.
I scouted the place thoroughly, nothing special.
until I tripped.
I opened my eyes to see a disintegrated corpse—of what was once my best friend—shinei.
His head—completely pale.
His body—completely emaciated, it looks like he is dried out of blood,
His limbs— precisely severed.
His face—a tear on his face, he was crying.
Soaked and sagged in blood.
I feel sick.
I feel sick.
I feel sick.
I feel sick.
......
..............