That Intense Fire.
I open my eyes and am greeted by the beautiful sky; my body aches, but I can move now. I try to get up, despite my muscle pain, I need to know what happened.
When I rise, I see that around me there are only people in a similar situation, some lying down asleep, others gasping in pain. I turn my head and can see Emilia tending to the wounded elsewhere.
"You woke up, I suppose." Behind me is Beatrice.
Seeing her, she seems to be annoyed. Honestly, I didn't expect her to come. I give her a grateful smile and take her hand, which surprises her.
"Thank you for saving me, Beatrice. You're not obliged to do it, but thank you for coming."
"Hmpf! A bet's a bet in fact," Beatrice says, tilting her head.
I chuckle a bit, but I immediately start coughing.
"Don't strain yourself; your body is in bad shape. Even if you don't have issues with your blood and the like, your gate is in a delicate state."
I can feel it. My gate is out of control. Beatrice quickly tells me that the miasma I didn't have before started coming out. Somehow, I'm now as if I had died.
I look at Beatrice with seriousness.
"What happened?"
Then, Beatrice starts the explanation.
When she arrived, Emilia had already annihilated all the mabestias and was slowly healing the wounded. However, the mabestias suddenly attacked again, forcing her to stop her healing work.
A few minutes ago, they resumed the healing, as the mabestias fled again. When I arrived, my wounds were quite severe, but Beatrice healed me completely, although my gate can't be healed due to the interference of the miasma.
"Your gate has to heal itself, in fact. I just gave it the mana it needed to do so; I suppose. I don't recommend using magic while that happens. Fortunately, you have a large amount of mana, so it shouldn't take more than a few days, in fact."
"Could you remove the curses?" I ask Beatrice.
Then, she looks at me seriously.
"Yes, I could remove almost all of them, I suppose, but in your right leg, there are a series of complex curses, in fact."
Apparently, there are several curses on my leg that prevent Beatrice from performing the necessary calculations to heal it. I hadn't noticed their existence.
"Is it possible that a single mabestia did that?" I ask.
"I have no knowledge of it in fact," Beatrice replies. "However, it's possible that there's a beast that mutated to have that capability. That's why..."
Beatrice points toward the forest entrance.
"The girl who brought you, the blue-haired oni, went to kill that beast."
"Rem?" I look at her in bewilderment. It doesn't make sense. "Are you sure it was Rem, the maid?"
Beatrice nods her head. At that moment, I instinctively stand up and look around, but I don't see Rem. Then, Ram appears behind me, turns me around, and grabs my shirt.
"Where's Rem?" Ram asks, looking at me angrily.
"According to Beatrice, she's in the forest. I just found out," I reply.
Ram releases her grip on me and walks determinedly toward the forest. I grab her arm and say,
"What do you plan to do if you go there? Do you have any plan?"
"Shut up! I have my own methods to locate her. If only she hadn't used her demon form..."
Ram explains to me that, as twins, they can sense each other's emotions and small sensations, depending on how much one wishes to convey that feeling. However, Rem is in a trance state in which her strength increases, but she only thinks about killing everything around her.
Ram reveals to me that she has an ability that allows her to share senses with other living beings, which would enable her to find Rem's location.
"Nevertheless, it's still nighttime. If we wait until it's dawn, we'll have a better chance," I suggest.
I can't risk it now. Even though I'm in this situation, it doesn't make sense to risk everything without a solid plan.
The desperate cry of a woman interrupts Ram and me. We quickly turn to see a woman walking erratically, her arms covered in blood-stained bandages. Despite her wounds, the woman seems not to notice the pain. When she sees me, she approaches.
"Have you seen Petra? You didn't bring her with the people you saved," the woman says, with an empty look. Although she's crying, her emotions seem distant and indescribable.
"I'm sorry, I didn't see her," I reply seriously, looking into her eyes.
The mother looks at me and falls to her knees. For a moment, she grips the ground tightly, then she stands up and starts running toward the forest. I stop her by grabbing her arm, but she punches me in the face without stopping.
"Let go of me! Let go of me! My daughter! My little one!" she screams, falling to the ground from my grip, while crying inconsolably. "I have to go for her!" She ignores her reopening wounds; her arms start to bleed as she tries to get up and free herself from my grasp.
I can't help but feel astonishment. I had never witnessed a mother's unconditional love for her child, even in the midst of pain and the certainty of her own death. It's overwhelming.
Or maybe I have...
Carefully, I release the woman and help her to her feet.
"You are truly a great mother," I tell her, looking into her eyes. "I'll go look for your daughter. You stay here and wait for her. I promise I'll bring her back, no matter what it takes."
The woman looks at me and hugs me without hesitation, continuing to cry as she thanks me.
"Thank you! Thank you so much!"
I glance at Ram, and she returns my gaze. Both of us head toward the forest, determined.
"Are you going with your injuries? Aren't you afraid of dying?" Beatrice looks at me with concern.
I pause at Beatrice's question. I look at Beatrice with determination. Her concern is understandable, but I respond with pride.
"Fear? Of course, I do, but feeling fear and doing what I must do are different things," I smile at her. "I won't run away anymore out of fear."
Beatrice doesn't say anything, but she lets out a sigh, and something falls to my side, stuck in the ground with a violet shimmer.
"At least, defend yourself, I suppose. You have to show me more of your world, after all, In fact," Beatrice turns her back on me, visibly blushing at her own words. I bend down and pick up the dagger, grateful for the gesture.
"Haha, I hope that's true."
We began to run toward the place where the wounded were, and when we arrived, I could only see the traces of my fight.
"Did you do all of this?" Ram asks, looking around at the scene.
"I have a good teacher," I put my hand on her shoulder. "Come on, use that ability to see what's happening."
Ram closes her eyes, and though she appears to be standing there with her eyes closed to me, I can feel a flow of mana coming from her.
A few seconds later, she opens her eyes.
"Marco, the animals seem to be fleeing from that direction," Ram points toward where the fallen tree was.
"Let's go then, no time to waste."
We both run for a few minutes, with no mabestias in sight, just an eerie calm.
"That's strange," Ram says as she looks around.
"It's too calm."
I expected several mabestias to attack us, but none have so far. We keep running, but then we start to hear sounds of battle.
We pick up the pace and arrive at an open field surrounded by trees, like a circle resembling a coliseum.
In the center of the open field, we see Rem, the girl with blue hair, fighting fiercely against mabestias from all directions. I'm impressed by her skills, her handling of the mace, and her fluid movements. She crushes mabestias one after another, while a smaller mabestia stands to the side.
However, I hadn't considered something important: my presence and the miasma emanating from me. Before I can react, Ram pushes me and quickly unleashes her abilities, forming wind swords to confront a mabestia, shredding it instantly.
"Curses, I forgot that my miasma can attract mabestias," I mutter to myself.
I look around and see Petra, who is sitting unconscious on a tree at the opposite end of the field.
I quickly stand up and point towards Petra with determination.
"You'll go for her and take her back to the village, then come back for us. Understand?" I state firmly.
"This is not the time for jokes; if both of us leave, we'll be attacked by all of them," Ram argues.
I give Ram a light pat on the back, causing her to look at me with irritation.
"Trust me, when you leave, cover your ears, then go for Petra," I tell Ram with confidence. "Rem can take care of herself, but that girl can't."
I glance at Rem. Seeing her, I can't help but feel anger, my gaze contorted as I think about what she witnessed while I was fighting for my life.
But Ram touches my shoulder.
"Forgive Rem. She has been through a lot, but she's not a bad person," Ram tells me before covering her own ears with her hands.
A good person? If she was once, I'm not sure, but I can't think of her as a good person now. Though I'm not one to judge either. I know that if I reset, I can save them all, but it means starting over, finding another way to earn their trust to be able to save them. It means having to fight again.
I run at full speed towards Rem, running with determination. After all, I have to use this moment to distract her.
As I approach Rem, my heart pounds with determination. Despite the anger and resentment that brews within me, I understand the trust Ram has in her, and I recognize the hardships Rem has endured.
Drawing closer, my thoughts align with an unwavering resolve. I'm willing to fight, even to the point of resetting, if necessary, but I won't let my life be in vain. This cause is just, and I must do everything within my power to ensure the safety of those in need.
In my immediate vicinity, I unleash a resounding scream, channeling every ounce of my strength into it, desperately attempting to capture Rem's attention and divert her focus away from the surrounding mabestias.
"I can return..." The world grinds to a halt in this crucial moment, suspended in a void that only allows me to perceive shadows and silence. My body becomes motionless, trapped in a state of helplessness as a mysterious mist shrouds my vision, plunging me into an oppressive darkness.
Though my eyes perceive nothing, I can feel it—an ethereal presence drawing near, creeping slowly.
An invisible hand, almost ghostlike, begins to glide gently along my legs, ascending with a captivating tenderness. I find myself unable to move or resist, yet there's a latent response within me, a connection that transcends physical boundaries.
The hand continues its ascent, tracing every inch of my body, awakening conflicting sensations of pleasure and pain.
My senses sharpen as the hand finally reaches my chest, effortlessly penetrating. A torrent of pain surges through me, coursing through my being in waves, as if my body were a canvas painted with suffering.
Helpless to resist, I watch in anguish as the hand reaches my heart, crushing it with overwhelming force.
In an instant, the mist dissipates, and I return to reality, gasping for breath, the pain fading but still lingering within me. My heart seems to beat with a renewed intensity, as if it had been snatched from the jaws of death. Rem, unable to think, screams at me with all her might, lunging to attack.
The mabestias do the same, but as they stand in Rem's way, she crushes them underfoot.
In a desperate act, Rem hurls her mace with determination, aiming directly for my head. However, with an agile spin, I manage to dodge it at the last moment, narrowly avoiding a grim fate. Focused on my goal, I sprint at full speed, distancing myself from Rem and heading towards a group of eager mabestias.
Meanwhile, my eyes scan the surroundings in a frantic search for Ram, but she has vanished into thin air, taking Petra with her, leaving me with an unsettling sense of abandonment.
Now, all that remains is the urgent task of rousing Rem from her trance and enlisting her aid in facing the impending battle. Thankfully, I know it hasn't been long since she fell into her catatonic state, and I hold onto the hope of guiding her back to the realm of consciousness.
Yet, in the midst of this turmoil, I forget someone crucial. The curse of my forgetfulness is abruptly shattered by a frustrated exclamation that escapes my lips.
"Damn it!"
Without any warning, an enormous pillar of earth erupts from the ground, lifting me high into the sky and hurling me towards the heavens. I'm left with no choice but to employ my magic to halt the freefall. Concentrating every ounce of my energy, I conjure an ascending wind, attempting to mimic a makeshift parachute, desperately slowing my descent.
However, the magic behaves erratically, slipping through my control like an elusive wisp. I struggle to harness it effectively, resulting in a jarring and painful crash landing. Just at that critical moment, a horde of mabestias descends upon me like a relentless tempest.
My body, still grappling with the aftereffects of the magic, finds itself in a state of debilitating weakness, rendering me unable to react with the required swiftness.
I manage to drive my blade into one of the mabestias, but it proves insufficient to deter them. They are on the brink of a savage assault, their jaws eagerly anticipating my flesh, when suddenly, an unexpected savior shoves me aside.
As I regain consciousness and become aware of the dire situation, it dawns on me that Rem has taken my place, still trapped in her beastly form. Despite her condition, in a fleeting moment, she manages to muster a smile, rescuing me from the clutches of the relentless mabestias.
She saved me...
"Like hell!"
I cannot allow this to stand. I refuse to let her bear such a risk for my sake. I seize her arm and forcefully pull her toward me, utilizing my wind magic to propel us backward. We crash to the ground, rolling violently and coming to an abrupt stop against a sturdy tree.
Despite the pain coursing through me, I refuse to release Rem, clutching her tightly.
We've fallen several meters, concealed among the underbrush and the forest. Still injured, I summon one final burst of strength and use the last remaining dagger to strike at Rem's horn. The blade shatters upon impact, but Rem's horn begins to shrink in size. Exhausted from her transformation, she faints.
Swiftly, I offer her a bocco fruit to rouse her, placing it gently against her lips.
Her eyes flutter open slowly, filled with confusion and daze. Her first instinct is to rise, but I hold her firmly in my arms, preventing her from moving.
"Don't move," I caution with unwavering determination, masking the pain in my voice. "You mustn't use magic."
We find refuge among the dense underbrush, hidden from view, at least for the time being. The suspense of our concealed presence is like a ticking clock, counting down to the inevitable moment when we will be discovered.
But she cannot contain her emotions and begins to sob, her voice broken by tears.
"But why did you save me?" Rem asks between sobs, her words punctuated by the anguish consuming her.
Tears cascade down her face as she desperately seeks an explanation for my act of bravery. Her once radiant and endearing countenance contorts, revealing her true emotions and painful self-reflection.
In the midst of that tense silence, Rem turns toward me, her eyes glassy with palpable anger. She feels the need to point out my presence in this chaos and remind me of the fear she once held for me.
Her voice cuts through the air, laden with reproach and frustration. "You caused all of this, even came to rescue the one who intimidated you," her words sound like a heart-wrenching cry.
As I hold her gaze, I watch her tears persist, refusing to stop. Her once adorable face now transforms into a mask of pain and self-justification for her sacrifice.
With a determined gesture, I rise to my feet, distancing myself from her. Though she tries to shout at me, her words barely reach my ears.
"You should have left me! I'm useless! Instead of being helpful, I only cause more and more chaos. Everything I've done in the past is the karma that now strikes me," her voice breaks as her legs waver in her attempt to stand. "Leave me! Let me die here! My life is worthless, anything I do only brings me dissatisfaction, I can't forget my past sins."
I turn my back, preparing to face the mabestias with courage and determination. However, her words echo in my mind, leaving a persistent resonance.
"I hate you! From the moment you arrived in this place, I despised you for your mere existence. Every word you uttered stirred in me a sense of revulsion, I even vomited your breakfast because of your disgusting presence. I also watched from start to finish as you were attacked by the mabestias!"
As I check that everything I had prepared for this confrontation remains intact and ready for use, I sense that something crucial is missing from this equation.
"I hate myself! I hate everything I've done up to now," she utters with a raspy voice, clenching her fists tightly and releasing her frustration. "And I know, I know you also feel repulsed by me. I know you couldn't stand me being cold towards you. I know you hate me too."
At that very moment, I interrupt her emotional outburst with a firm voice.
"I know, I know it all."
Rem's tears flow even more freely now, her cerulean eyes wide as she grapples with accepting the words I've just spoken.
"I know you were watching."
"If you know, then why did you come?" she asks, her tears continuing to flow, her body trembling as she struggles to rise.
I gaze into her tear-filled eyes for a moment, and a sincere response escapes my lips.
"If I were to think of a reason, I don't have one."
"Then?"
"Dying is the end, even if I don't particularly like you, I won't let you die. I promised myself not to do it again." I give her a smile. "You've already saved me twice; at least let me save you once."
With determination, I dash toward the mabestias, dodging their earth attacks while charging up the mana for what I've prepared.
When I see the mabestia that was once a small dog transform into a gigantic monster, I shout with all my might.
"Meili!" I cry out, hoping that she is truly there, and maybe I can negotiate. The mabestias stop moving, even the giant one freezes, and they all fall silent, ceasing their growls.
"Well, could you tell me who the little brother is? Have we met before?" The mabestia's voice resonates in the air, and from the creature's jaws emerges a girl dressed in a robe. Her eyes lock onto my position with a defiant look.
"No, I only know who you are. I just want to give you a warning: if you don't want to die, it would be best to step away," I reply, maintaining a calm tone in my voice.
In response to my words, the girl falls silent for a moment before bursting into wild laughter.
"Hahaha, I don't know what makes you think that, little brother. You're just a human surrounded by my pets. I don't understand why I should fear you," her voice drips with mockery and contempt.
A hint of a smile plays on my lips, aware that he who laughs last laughs best. I assume a throwing stance, clutching a white crystal sphere in my hands, feeling it burn my skin with its icy power.
Now that it's activated, there's no stopping it, but it's my final card.
Inside the sphere lies a lethal liquid, and it's time to release it.
With all my strength, I hurl the sphere straight into the giant mabestia's gaping maw. The sphere embarks on a rapid journey towards its target, while Meili watches in confusion, and the mabestia desperately tries to break the sphere with its powerful arms.
In that moment, I dash towards Rem and position myself in front of her, ready to protect her. My body begins to generate a barrier of fire, and amid the flames, I shout with determination:
"This is the power of science!"
BOOM! The thunderous explosion reverberates through the air as a rain of liquid nitrogen falls all around us. I use every last bit of my mana to create a powerful barrier of fire around Rem and myself.
With determination, I attempt to disintegrate the droplets that manage to breach the barrier with the power of my flames, but some evade my flames and reach us, burning fiercely. The burns and frostbite ravage my skin completely. Quickly, I position myself in front of Rem, shielding her with my body, while she continues to cry.
The water will only trigger a chain reaction, so I must do the last thing I can.
With tenderness and concern, I place my hands on her face to dry her tears. Within a sphere of fire enveloping us, it's just her and me. Despite the drops that continue to fall, freezing my back, I don't break eye contact with her.
In some way, I feel deeply connected to her. Her hatred, her anxiety, it's all been brought about by the tragedy she's experienced.
While I was hunted, there were moments when I plotted to kill my neighbors and escape. Simply because I thought they were spies against me, although unlike me, I never mistreated them.
"Rem, we all make mistakes. We all face our demons and the consequences of our bad decisions. It's natural to feel self-loathing, to believe the world is against us, and that our suffering justifies our actions."
A drop falls on my neck, piercing me with such intense pain that blood starts to trickle from it.
"It might seem like we have to do things to make amends, but sometimes we realize that's just hypocrisy. You may wish to die to end that pain, to escape that feeling."
"Yes! If I die, everything will get better! I'm just a useless mess of anger and pain."
At that moment, I gently take her chin, bring her face closer to mine, and speak from the depths of my heart.
"Dying won't make everything better. Everything you say and do has consequences, but it's precisely that which makes you move. What makes you different is how you act. It's not about suffering endlessly."
"Then? If it's not about self-hatred, what is it about?" she asks, reflecting in her eyes an image that I can almost recognize as my own.
"It's about getting better. Moving forward, keeping going, and laughing in the face of adversity. What you did can't be changed, but you have the opportunity to learn and grow from it. You can apologize for your mistakes and move forward." I hold her hands firmly as I cease the fire barrier, and a cold aura envelops us. "You'll make it. You'll start moving from this moment, you'll progress, and you'll become a better version of yourself. When you feel like everything is falling apart, when you want to share joy or just need company, I'll be there for you."
Hollow words, words I always wanted to hear but don't want to say.
Rem grips my hands tightly, attempting to conjure a smile amidst her tears.
"I don't deserve this," she says.
"No one does. Instead, you should be grateful for what you have," I reply with a smile. "Deserving is within you."
Time is running out, and I must speak quickly. I'm running out of strength.
"Make those people forget the harm you've done. Turn the hatred you've given a thousandfold into love. Go and express everything in your heart, purify yourself, and move forward."
I feel that my body is no longer responding; I'm on the verge of collapsing. The miasma inside my gate is wreaking havoc. I've used too much magic, even with my damaged gate. If I don't survive, it will all have been in vain.
"Live for yourself, live to be happy. Life is meant for that, to be happy and make the people you care about happy. I believe in you; I'll be there for you when you need me."
Those are my last words before I turn my head and vomit a large amount of blood. My vision blurs, and as I fall, I hear Rem screaming my name. I'm not unconscious yet; I can feel the arrival of Ram, and then I find myself on a bed.
The incredible comfort makes me wish to sleep forever.
Everything is chaos, all this destruction is indirectly my fault. In the end, everything I do seems to lead to death.
Perhaps that's my destiny, but I won't stop fighting.
As I come to, I feel small hands on my chest, and someone is holding my hand tightly. Those little hands seem to be trembling. The excessive flow of magic must not be taken lightly.
The miasma has invaded my gate due to the lack of mana. Like a deadly poison, it's destroying everything inside it.
From Beatrice's hands, I sense a warm sensation as she channels her mana with all her might. I hear the last words of this day.
"Don't die, because if you die... I'll be alone again."
Darkness...
SS-Rem.
That stranger.
I hold his hand tightly, my tears mixing with the torrent of emotions coursing through me. As I look at him, unconscious and vulnerable, a rush of memories from this week floods my mind.
On the first day he arrived, his presence became evident the moment he opened the door of his carriage. A peculiar aroma filled my senses; I immediately sensed the scent of the miasma. If it weren't for my sister's words, I would have attacked him without thinking.
I don't consider myself a virtuous person, but I'm certainly better than those despicable cultists. That's why I didn't allow him to find happiness in this place.
I vividly remember the first time he dared to utter those words that shook my existence: "I'm not from this world." Instinctively, I directed my gaze toward the spirit accompanying us, hoping to hear its denial, wishing it was a lie so I could trap him in his own words. However, his genuine surprise attested to its truth.
When he managed to convince Lord Roswaal to allow no one to harm him within the mansion's domains, unease filled my being. If that repugnant individual had any demonic plans to harm the mansion's residents, his presence here must not be allowed.
My mind screamed in silence: "He's a cultist." But it was my sister who reminded me that under no circumstances could I attack him. She and Lord Roswaal were protecting him, shielding that disgusting cultist from his darkest desires.
Then, he had the audacity to prepare breakfast. When I saw my sister sitting in front of that tray of food he had prepared, I almost succumbed to an irreversible impulse. A feeling of repulsion overcame me, and I could barely contain it.
I pretended to eat normally, but as soon as I had the opportunity, I hurried to the bathroom to vomit it all up. That man had intruded into my routine, ruining my peace, and disturbing my world.
The worst part was that no one seemed to question him, as if they were ignoring the possibility that he might be an infiltrated spy. Even my own sister seemed to be starting to sympathize with him.
"He's not a bad person; if only you would talk to him, you'd understand," my sister told me this morning, trying to convince me to give him a chance.
But I couldn't ignore my instincts, my distrust of that individual. Strangely, his scent had diminished in the past few days, which brought me some relief.
I didn't know if cultists could hide their essence in that way, but at least that decrease gave me some peace of mind. After all, if he were truly a cultist, he wouldn't have concealed his essence, as that would be considered an unforgivable sin to them.
However, despite it all, I couldn't bring myself to eat what he had prepared.
My suspicions and distrust deepened when, in the morning, he dared to grasp my shoulder. At that moment, my mind was flooded with fears and apocalyptic thoughts. "He's going to attack me," echoed in my head. Then, with a firm voice, he asked to talk, stating that he knew I hated him but didn't know why.
"Because you're a disgusting cultist," I wished to shout at him, letting my revulsion and resentment openly manifest. However, I restrained myself.
During his conversation with the spirit, I could barely hear what they were saying. The words were lost in the air, like incomprehensible whispers. But something about his attitude caught my attention: he seemed to be teaching something to the spirit, something I couldn't quite grasp. And then...
BOOM!
A deafening crash reverberated throughout the place, shaking the mansion's foundations. In the distance, I could see trees frozen, victims of an astonishingly fast attack, much quicker than an arrow or a magical bullet. My legs instantly trembled at the sight, for I remembered that not long ago this person was incapable of using magic.
Even when I first observed his magical gate while he slept, aside from the ominous miasma, I couldn't perceive any signs of something extraordinary.
This led me to recall the strange anomalies related to his gate. "It can't be," I muttered on the second day of his arrival. His gate was taking on form and structure, something that only happens when one is learning to control magic for the first time.
It means he had never consciously used magic before. From then on, day by day, that gate began to reveal itself more clearly and bend to his will. His progress in the magical arts was simply indescribable. Somehow, he seemed to grasp everything quickly, learning to conjure magic.
However, all of this seemed too suspicious, too good to be true. It was logical to be skeptical and keep my reservations. Isn't it so?
Then, tragedy struck. That very afternoon, our lord departed to attend to matters related to this person's request. The first thing that came to my mind was that this individual intended to murder everyone, discrediting Lord Roswaal in the process.
Unable to contain myself, I yelled that this was part of his sinister plan and that I wanted to end him right then and there. However, something in his gaze, something in his demeanor, hinted at deep fear, even as he smiled. He was scared, but he refused to give up.
Then, he uttered words that echoed in my mind: "I would never kill someone who doesn't deserve it. You can distrust me, but don't compare me to a murderer."
"Liar!" I exclaimed inwardly. "Something similar happened in my village too!" I wanted to unleash all my anger and end this situation once and for all. However, I chose to follow him, followed him only because he was scared too.
Just like me, he was scared too.
I stayed there, watching from a distance as his battle unfolded. He displayed an astonishing magical spell, something I had never witnessed in anyone. My sister said he had talent, but for some reason, he couldn't use magic conventionally.
So, I waited, and I kept waiting...
While he was giving his life for those people, I was watching from a tree. I wanted him to die, wanted to say it was because of his miasma, because he was a cultist and he had made a mistake.
When he made the tree fall, a smile appeared on my face. Surprised, I touched my lips, feeling them curve. Almost like that time, that time when my sister lost her horn.
"At last!" I shouted to myself.
I thought he would cause the death of those people, then I could kill him by saying he did it. That he's a traitor, and that's why I killed him.
To my surprise, that didn't happen. He threw himself with all his might and risked his life to save the others. When he was about to die, I didn't even realize it, but I had already descended and used my magic to save his life.
I scolded my body for doing it, but it was done.
It wasn't until I was healing him that he said:
"Take care of the wounded first."
When he said that, I realized my mistake. This man was injured; his gate was overloaded with miasma, and the scent that wasn't there before appeared, struggling to save them. I don't know how or why, but even though the scent made me want to kill him, I didn't.
Instead, I decided to deal with the mabeasts that had cursed him. The scream he let out made all of them head in one direction, so when I left him with Miss Beatrice, I immediately headed there.
Then everything became hazy.
I was just acting according to my thoughts. I wanted to die for my actions, always causing chaos, always causing bad things to others. That person saved them using his life as a sacrifice, and I wanted to kill him.
I destroyed as many mabeasts as I could while being bitten and attacked.
My body didn't respond to me; I was just acting instinctively. "Using my life as a pawn for redemption" was the only thought in my head.
I couldn't see what was happening, as if I were trapped in a prison within myself.
But then, when I regained consciousness, I was in front of him. I had pushed him to get him out of all the mabeasts. I had saved him again, with the intention of offering myself as a sacrifice and asking for forgiveness.
I wanted to apologize, but I wouldn't be able to.
Then, when I opened my eyes again, a warm sensation surrounded my body. That man was hugging me, and I wanted to push him away, but I couldn't, I didn't want to.
But he had ruined my act.
I yelled at him, I yelled and yelled until I got tired. I couldn't see what expression he was wearing, but he must have found me disgusting. Covered in blood with tears in my eyes, I shouted everything I could think of to get him to let me die.
So, he could be saved.
"I know, I know it all," was his first response, and then he clenched his fists tightly. I couldn't see his expression, but his words showed the anger he had.
"I know you were watching."
When he said that, I was surprised. After all, I had hidden myself quite well, but for some reason, he had figured it out.
Then he creates an impressive chaos. From his side, he pulls out a white sphere larger than an apple; I didn't know what it was, but it resembled the spell from this morning. An explosion of frost was about to touch me.
"At last, he's going to kill me," I thought.
I closed my eyes, expecting the end, but then warmth washed over my body. It wasn't the cold death but a scorching heat.
I became furious, consumed by anger that he had saved me. I wished to die at that moment, to end my suffering and surrender to fate. However, he began to speak, as the drops that froze his back fell. As my desire to die grew, he was the only source of light I could see. He was there, in front of me, protecting me from everything.
I confessed that I deserved death, that I wished to leave this world.
But he brought his face closer.
I told him I hated myself, that I was worthless, and that I should die.
However, he took my hands.
He was looking at me, not at the perfect Rem who performed household tasks and fulfilled her responsibilities. He had seen my horrendous interior; I said terrible things, did things that were unforgivable.
As I cried and my face contorted, I could see him. Determined, with a smile on his face despite all the pain he must have been enduring. He protected me with his warmth. He dispelled his magic, and the merciless wind rushed in, but in that moment, I didn't feel the cold. His warmth coursed through my body, and his gaze penetrated me as if it had always been waiting for it.
Ironically, the person I least expected was the one I wanted the most. The person I had in front of me uttered the words I had always longed to hear.
"When you feel like everything is falling apart, when you want to share joy or just need company, I'll be there for you."
The man in front of me had awakened something within me. I felt that my life, once gray, was beginning to vibrate with intense colors. I felt that I could move, that I wanted to move forward and see him more.
But then, he collapsed to the ground after vomiting blood. And only in that moment, for the first time, I uttered his name.
"Marco!"