A Show of Friendship.
Tears no longer flow from my eyes, breath barely escaping my weary mouth. My hand trembles holding the glass of water, eyes fixed on the chaos of papers before me, a reflection of my own inner wreckage.
No light in my mind, no plan I can conceive to face this atrocious ordeal. The decision is made, yes, but there's no solace in it.
I sink into the bed, resigned to linger here until Marco's shadow fades from this world. Clenching my hands tightly, I forge a fragile smile on my face.
"Yes," I whisper with determination, trying to convince myself that everything will be okay. I wipe my moist eyes with the back of my hands, longing to erase the sadness that engulfs them.
Turning my head to the mirror on the wall, the reflection returns an image I barely recognize: a genuine smile, but laden with sorrow.
It's ironic to think that this new version of myself, the one dragged down by despair, is now the one inhabiting my being. Though I know my human friends will no longer be here, I cling to hope that perhaps, occasionally, they might visit me in this prison of pain.
I shed the military garments, feeling like I'm also leaving behind a part of who I used to be.
"Ha-ha..." A bitter laugh escapes my lips as I see my old dress, repaired by Rem's hands.
"Destiny has a peculiar sense of humor," I murmur as I slip into the familiar fabric, concealing my presence under the hood that has accompanied me on so many journeys.
I decide to gather strength, channeling mana to summon Puck, knowing that somewhere in the world, he still awaits.
My eyes meet again with the reflection in the mirror, but this time they don't seek the image of who I was, but the reflection of the determination burning within me.
Time ceases to matter in this moment; all that matters is reclaiming the lost essence, pursuing that old self buried beneath layers of despair.
"I have no more breath to exhale," I whisper with a trembling voice, trying to convince myself that I've made the right decision.
Then, I see in the mirror, my inner self. An illusion of what I wanted to see. That me who faced her fears, who managed to move forward despite all the pain. Her military attire, her gaze fixed on my eyes.
"So, will you stay here until Marco dies?" an internal voice questions, sowing doubts in my already weary mind. The reflection of my inner self, the me who struggles to move forward, the one who believes I am strong.
I look her in the eyes, trying to show her my determination.
"Yes, that's right. There's no other way," I respond with determination, trying to muster courage.
Her disapproving look destroys me. I know perhaps I'm going crazy talking to myself. But if I want to come to terms, I'll have to face myself.
"And what about your friends? Doesn't it mean anything to you to stay by their side?" her voice is clear and direct.
I look away, concluding.
"They... They won't be here anymore. Not after this," I murmur, fighting against the tears that threaten to emerge again.
The internal battle is fierce, but I finally manage to impose my will over my doubts. I rise with determination, ready to face whatever is necessary to reclaim what I've lost.
I'll start anew in a hundred years, when I receive the news that Marco has died, I'm sure I can do it.
"If..." My hands tremble, victims of my weakness. "When he dies. Ugh!"
I hold my breath, trying to stop the nausea, the peak of my pain. My heart aches: my emotions try to take control of me.
'When did I change so much? How am I not capable of remembering what I was?' All the experiences I've lived, everything I've had to go through, the joys and the sorrows.
'I don't understand; I don't understand when I changed so much, when I went from being unhappy with myself to feeling good; all just to then fall into an even deeper abyss than before.'
Definitely, knowledge is the fruit of misery.
"I'm going out, to give my decision and seal myself back in the sanctuary." I look towards the door, but the light is cut off by a small hole.
'Is someone there, has someone come to see me?' I clench my hands for a moment and then look at the door, walking slowly, feeling the weight of my decision increasing.
I put my hand on the doorknob, accepting that I'll have to be strong. Strong to endure leaving everyone behind. I press my lips together, holding back the tears I didn't know were left.
"Good evening, Miss Emilia!" Otto looks at me with a sincere smile, behind him are Crusch and Luan, who wear serious expressions.
I put my right hand on my left arm, rubbing it a bit to calm this nervousness. I wanted to talk to him first to gather the necessary strength. Marco, if I told him, I know he would have accepted me.
The cold night is about to come, but there's no greater chill than what I felt that time. A cold so deep that I don't want to feel it again. My heart beats strongly, while the warmth in their gazes tries to reach me.
"Can we come in?" Crusch stares at me intently, her question making me doubt.
What are they planning?
There's only one answer in my mind to that question.
'There is no way to change my mind!'
I want to tell them; I want to make everything clear. I won't be a burden anymore, if I can't be cold enough to bear it all, then I'm not fit for the role of ruler.
It's that simple.
"Y-yes, you can come in." My lips slide, words I didn't want to say. My heart hurts, it hurts to the point where it's hard to breathe.
They enter, and once I close the door; they all look at me as if something's wrong. Once again, they want to do something to fix the problem. They want me to be that Emilia again; the strong Emilia who fears nothing.
What they want is for me to act according to my duty, according to what I mean in everyone's hearts. I must act like a ruler.
"Emilia, we want to have a chat." Otto keeps smiling, slightly, as if he's trying to calm me down.
Luan scans the place, the papers scattered on the floor, the parts written of my attempts to find a solution. My military attire, dirty and filled with black ink, lies there, a sign that I've already left that path behind.
His eyes then fix on me, making me step back and bump into the door. I put my hand on my chest, trying to contain everything that's uncontrollable. I don't want to overthink, I'm already tired of thinking of ways to make myself stronger.
"What do you want? I-I don't want to talk, I'm ve~~ry decided." I had forgotten, Marco had mentioned my habit of elongating certain words when I'm very emotional.
I tried to change that, although I didn't see him satisfied.
'Haha! It seems I can still be myself.'
"Were you planning to throw away everything?" Otto's gaze is stern, for a moment, that smile turns into a sword threatening to pierce my heart. "Do you want to leave the test incomplete, so that we come out; leaving everything as it is."
How did he realize? My hands tremble, a result of the fear in his words. He just read me completely, but... How did he do it? It's something I just decided, it's not something he can conclude so quickly.
Crusch and Luan look at him with surprise, so I doubt he told them.
"How did you...?" At my question, Luan tightens her hands firmly. Angry, she looks at me with suspicion.
"Were you really willing to give up everything?"
Luan's and Crusch's words hit me like a tempest, shaking my soul to its core.
"Did you really want to give up everything that matters?" The disappointment in their gazes tears me apart inside, reminding me of my own inability to save those I love.
'Betty...' her name resonates in my mind like an echo of pain.
I clench my hands tightly, feeling my heart threatening to shatter into a thousand pieces. But suddenly, like a spark in the darkness, a fierce determination seizes me.
"Yes! I! I will live much longer than all of you!" My words resonate with a strength I barely recognize, driven by the rage and frustration consuming me. "I can move forward! You have a short life!"
BAM!
The dull sound of my hand hitting the wall is barely an echo of my own internal fury.
The crack that forms reflect my own anger, directed at myself for my own impotence. A weak voice in my mind tries to stop me, but anger and determination blind me completely.
"You must move on, nothing will change if I'm here or not, you'll be what you want, but in the end, you'll be dust." A twisted smile forms on my lips, the bitter fruit of my own desperation. "Your lives will be as fleeting as a breath, so you have the right to live in that illusion; you have the right to fulfill your goals."
Time, that illusory measure of our existences, fades away before me. For them, time is gold, a precious currency they cannot waste on someone whose time does not matter.
I realized too late the distance that separates us, the insurmountable gap that exists between them and me.
"Emilia..." The surprise in Otto's eyes momentarily halts me, but my determination does not waver.
A forced smile creeps onto my face, a fragile mask barely concealing the whirlwind of emotions consuming me from within.
"I'll be fine, you can leave me," my still trembling hands can barely bear the weight of my decision. "Save Marco for me, he still has a life ahead, even if Betty isn't there, he..."
"EMILIA!"
Luan's desperate cry breaks the silence, and a wave of heat and chaos erupts around me. Windows shatter, fragments scattering like tears in the wind.
Instinctively, my hand rises, creating a wall of ice that separates me from Luan. I look on in concern, knowing I could have harmed her.
Crack! The sound of shattering glass pierces the silence, and vapor begins to escape as she approaches, determination in her gaze.
"Luan!" Crusch lunges towards her to stop her, but Luan's hair bursts into incandescent red, blinding me completely.
I need to intervene before she causes more damage.
"Ice Arts, Winter Gale," I pronounce urgently, unleashing a mighty blizzard that surrounds her. She shields herself, but the cold takes hold, freezing everything in its path.
However, her fire does not extinguish, defying my attempts to contain it.
I don't wish to harm her, but her power is impressive.
"Don't you dare say those things!" She breaks through my ice barrier, her heat melting everything around her, turning ice into water and then vapor. Her hair burns with flames, and the vapor completely clouds my vision.
I need to be more aggressive.
"Zero Point!" I shout, trying to freeze her legs to stop her, but my magic dissipates upon touching her, completely melted by her searing heat.
'What's happening?'
My eyes widen in astonishment, but before I can react, I feel an impact in my stomach. The pain spreads throughout my body, my skin burning under her searing heat as I fall to my knees, struggling to breathe.
'I can't believe she broke through my defense, when did she become so strong?'
"You can't even show the power you had before!" Her voice sounds full of reproach, and as Otto intervenes to stop her using his one hand to catch her fist, the smell of burnt flesh clings to my senses, tormenting me.
"Otto!" Crusch dissipates the vapor through the broken window and catches Luan, but she doesn't stop, determined to make me understand.
"Don't stop me! She must realize!" Her voice resonates with desperation, and as my friends are hurt for my sake, I feel the overwhelming weight of my own uselessness.
"You're our friend! Don't you dare say those words," Luan looks at me with fiery eyes, challenging me to question my burden. "Stop believing that you have to suffer alone! Stop believing that you're the only one who can bear it all!"
Then, I can't contain it anymore.
"I have to do it! I have to help everyone, endure this pain to be useful!" I lean towards her, shouting with all my might, regardless of whether my body burns.
"I'll let you cry, so tomorrow you can be stronger," Marco had told me once. But today, in this moment, I can't do that.
"Stupid!" Luan breaks free, and I see Crusch and Otto being thrown by the mana explosion. Both collide with the wall, while Luan approaches again, with a fury that seems to tear through the air.
"We're your friends!" Luan's cry resonates in my soul, hitting me in the face with a truth I didn't want to confront. "Stop believing that the responsibility is yours alone, stop trying to mimic Marco. Marco's way of being is poison!"
My eyes widen at her accusation, and I clench my fists with fury, looking at her defiantly.
He didn't have a choice, it's not his fault.
"How dare you!" I reach out my hand, but before I can act, Crusch appears behind Luan.
"Fura!" The air bursts with her cry, and Luan falls to the ground, her hair quickly returning to its white color. Crusch gasps, looking at her charred hands in pain.
She kneels beside Luan, watching her with concern.
I rise and approach Crusch, taking her hands to quickly heal her burns. She smiles at me, relieved. I use healing on myself at the same time, fixing my wounds before Luan sees me.
"Thank you, Emilia," her words are a whisper of gratitude. My gaze shifts to Otto, who lies unconscious nearby.
I sigh, seeing how, despite her injuries, Crusch tried to stop Luan without hesitation.
'Just like foolish Otto.'
As I start to heal Otto, Crusch approaches and speaks to me softly.
"Luan is in shock from what happened in the war. It's her first experience in a conflict of this magnitude, she saw close ones and enemies alike die," her words are a gentle balm over the pain. "She's just a child, she witnessed the horrors of war and, despite her efforts, couldn't protect those she cares about. War is cruel, and the magnitude of suffering is immense."
The war was also my fault, so these blows were something I deserved.
"I saw physically unharmed soldiers, but their minds were lost. They stared into space, and any slight noise drove them mad. Many acts normal, but I'm sure in their minds, nothing will ever be the same. It's the same for her and for me."
Yes, deep down, I think I always knew.
"She just wanted to move forward, but then she found out what happened to Beatrice, what the trial entails," Crusch sighs, her hand resting firmly on my shoulder. "Feeling powerless is despairing."
Crusch has always shown the qualities of a natural leader. Although I know little about her past, her demeanor and behavior denote a noble lineage.
'In contrast, I...'
"It's better to not be able to do anything than to try and fail," my words resonate in the room's emptiness like echoes of a tragedy repeated over and over, like a lament lost in the wind.
Empty words, like dry leaves blown by the wind of disillusionment, words only to fuel the fire of her anger.
"Maybe, that's what everyone wishes for," Otto's gaze becomes intense, penetrating deep into my being. "Thank you for healing me, Miss Emilia."
Otto rises with the gravity of one who bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, his gaze resting on Luan on the floor, as if seeking answers in the stillness of her body.
Then, his attention shifts to Crusch, who gently picks her up and places her on the bed, as if trying to piece together the broken fragments of a puzzle shattered by despair.
"This happened because I wasn't clear," Otto's words drop like pebbles into a pond of murky waters. "I apologize."
I wait, holding my breath, as silence descends upon us like a veil of uncertainty, waiting to see which path this conversation will take.
"Luan's words aren't entirely wrong," Otto's voice resonates with solemn seriousness, like the echo of a lament in the dark night that envelops me. "Marco's way of being is a poison, a poison that corrodes from within, that distorts reality and darkens the soul."
I observe Otto, his gaze lost in the broken window where, deep down, a girl in a black suit and pink hair silently observes, like a specter in the gloom, like a silent witness to our internal struggles.
I can't bear it anymore, I can't keep waiting, as the weight of our doubts crushes our souls like rocks in a bottomless abyss.
"And so?" my voice trembles with barely contained frustration and longing. "You don't even know what she's been through."
"I DON'T KNOW!" Otto's words burst into the air laden with anguish, and his tears flow like rivers from a broken heart. "Of course, I don't know, he never trusted us enough, he never let go of his shackles."
His eyes, teary from tears, seek mine in a desperate attempt to find comfort, to find understanding.
"I already knew Marco doesn't belong in this world, I found out once several months ago," Otto confesses, his words echoing in the room like the whisper of a secret kept under lock and key. "Beatrice revealed it to me through a pyroxene crystal, so I wouldn't distrust him."
"A pyroxene crystal..."
Otto sits on the bed, his tears wiped away with his trembling hand, his pain palpable in the air like a mist of sadness that envelops everything in its path.
"We're all suffering, but this isn't the way, it's not the path," Otto's words resonate with an intensity that cuts like a sharp knife, his shared pain like an echo in the darkness of the room. "It was always hard for me to make friends, I couldn't understand the language because of my divine blessing, my brother tried to help me without success."
Otto lowers his head, his palpable desperation hanging in the air like a dark cloud threatening to devour everything. His most sincere emotion, a torrent of tears and confessions, spills out like an overflowing river in the dead of winter.
"I was a renegade, and then, I made everything worse," his words are a whispered burden, a confession of guilt weighing heavily on his soul. "After fleeing my home due to trouble with the nobility, I tried to make it on my own, clearly failed. I thought about returning to my brother, but then I was caught by those monsters."
His story is one of pain and regret, an echo of a past marked by tragedy and loss, a confession of frailty in a world that demands strength.
I already knew a little about his past, he had told us some things himself, but now I understand a little more. I want to hug him; tell him he doesn't have to cry.
Still, I must stay strong.
"For me, you were among my first great human friends. I've been through so much and finally found a place for myself; where no one judges me for my ability, where everyone works together and has fun," Otto's words are like a grateful echo in the room, a melody amid the silence. "That's why I want to help, and for that, I must know."
"I want the same, I used to think I shouldn't meddle in other people's pasts," Crusch's words are like a whisper of determination, a promise of loyalty amidst uncertainty. "I tried once, when I truly met him, when I saw a bit of the Marco hidden behind that mask of strength... I thought people should forge their own path, but... it's time to help a friend move forward."
Crusch's gaze, the sparkle in her eyes, captivates me.
"We want to do something, so let us know," Otto's determination in his eyes challenges me, urges me to move forward. "You must want to help him, if you don't know how, then let us find an answer."
My heart beats even louder, the echo of my emotions resonating in the air like a drum marking the rhythm of my anguish.
"The past cannot be changed!" my voice resonates with the force of an irrefutable truth, with the determination of a battle already fought. "No one can change that past, no one can erase all the horrors he had to endure."
Otto and Crusch gently take my hands, as if they were fragile treasures to be protected.
'I must not give in,' I repeat in my mind like a mantra that gives me strength to keep going.
"While the past cannot change, the present can," Otto's words are a beacon of pain, an attempt at guidance amidst the storm. "I know it will be difficult for you to bear that past, but, if what you need is strength, then lean on the people who love you."
Crusch holds me tighter, as if she wants to impart her strength to me through her touch.
'I don't want to, I'm tired. I just want to rest for long years,' I think to myself.
"You don't have to be like Marco, he also has to start improving," Otto's words are an invitation I don't want to accept, I don't want that. "Marco is like that because of everything he had to live through. Despite saying he had a great burden, he never wanted to free himself before us. I didn't want to act, because I didn't want to make things worse."
"You are you," Crusch's words are an attempt to find my identity, an echo of my essence lost in the whirlwind of confusion.
I shake my head, tears flowing slowly down my cheeks, like a river of emotions overflowing.
"I no longer know who I am," my voice is a whispered lament drowned in despair, a lament for the loss of my true self. "I've lost myself; I've lost what I was."
I can't recognize myself anymore, no matter what I do, no matter what they tell me.
The poison has already penetrated deep within me.
"Stop worrying about what you think you are, stop worrying about what others think you are," Otto's voice resonates in my mind like an echo of reason amidst the darkness. "You are you, that's never going to change. The past doesn't have to define you, it just has to condition you."
I press my lips together tightly, fighting against the surge of negative thoughts that drown me.
I don't want to think about that, I don't want to always be useless.
"Don't think you're useless," Otto's words are a ray of light in my inner storm. "Marco is always lamenting how much he has hurt you; Marco has always sought ways to make you feel comfortable with yourself, he has always borne a great burden for the same weights he imposed on you. He always regrets when you withhold your happiness for believing you must act in a certain way."
It's true, but...
Despite feeling good about myself, I thought that depending on him was all I needed. Acting when necessary because I believed Marco was an unbreakable wall. I idealized the vision of what I thought he was.
But I didn't see how much I was hurting him; how much I was hurting myself.
"Only because I'm useless," my voice sounds bitter, an echo of self-disgust that resonates in the void of my soul. He never left; it seems like the illusion of feeling good was just that. An illusion.
Otto shakes his head with determination.
"Marco can't stand seeing people alone. His loneliness is so vast that every time he sees someone in his situation, he tries to help them, so they won't end up like him," Otto's words are like a balm for my wounded soul. "You're the same, both of you have big hearts because of the experiences you've suffered."
I nod my head, tears flowing with more force, like overflowing rivers flooding my being.
"Marco went through all that, but until he releases it from his heart, he can't move forward," Otto's words are a painful reminder of the truth I've been avoiding. "You need to release him too; you need to act more in line with what your heart wants to do. If your heart wants to give up, then ask us for help so we can guide you."
"There will always be people who will leave, but there will also be those who will stay to be with you and guide you." What Otto says, the words Marco told me some time ago. What I have to do, the emotions I have to keep.
"Maturity isn't about holding back all your emotions, it's about knowing how to accept and manage them," Crusch's voice is like a light in the darkness, a beacon guiding me towards hope. "I also thought it was okay to keep everything inside me, not to show anyone my 'negative' emotions, but seeing Marco, I could see my mistake. He keeps everything inside, but that only makes the loneliness worse. It only makes you weaker, part of the illusion of having control over yourself."
Crusch's comforting warmth envelops my being, dissipating any trace of cold that may be inside me. Her words, full of love and understanding, resonate in the depths of my being.
As I absorb her words, I feel Luan approaching me and wrapping me in a warm hug. I accept his gesture with gratitude, allowing his love to envelop and comfort me.
"You shouldn't obsess over your emotions; on the contrary, you should use them as fuel to move forward," Crusch tells me softly as she hugs me. "I know it's something difficult to do, but that's what your friends are for. The only useless person is the one who believes themselves to be completely useful, because that person will never seek to improve."
I shudder at her words, feeling them penetrate deep into my being and ignite a spark of hope. My hands reach out, and I embrace Crusch tightly, wanting to express my gratitude for her unconditional support.
"Forgive me for acting like this before," I tell her as I hug her, feeling her comforting warmth envelop me completely.
Meanwhile, I see Otto approaching.
"There are things that you'll never be able to change, but you will be able to improve a little more," Otto tells me firmly, his words of encouragement resonating in my soul, reminding me that I'm not alone in my struggle to move forward. "We're your friends, Emilia, we're also friends of Marco and Beatrice. We love them, and that's why we strive to help them."
His words fill me with determination and hope. I feel a flame of hope ignite within me, driving me forward with renewed strength and determination.
With the love and support of my friends, I know I can overcome any obstacle that stands in my way.
I want so much to be better, I long with all my being to do things differently, to improve and see myself in a more positive light. I know I've repeated these words many times, but they are desires that seem to slip out of my reach, things I have not yet learned to achieve.
Crusch hugs me tighter, her words of encouragement resonating in my heart, comforting me in the midst of my confusion and self-criticism.
"You can feel useful, you can celebrate your achievements, it's not just about focusing on your mistakes," she whispers as she envelops me with love. "What I mean is that you have to accept both your strengths and your weaknesses. Improve what you lack while relying on what makes you strong."
Accepting my weaknesses, embracing my own imperfection, and acknowledging the areas where I need to grow.
From the first day, there's a lesson that Marco planted in me.
"If you don't tell yourself, you'll never be able to start changing."
That day, after he told me to try to change. The day everything started for me, the day I began to see new colors.
Marco's face in my mind, his smile full of colors. His hug full of emotions, his voice full of harmony.
'It's true, there's something planted in me.'
'Only I decide if it's something poisonous or not.'
With determination, I look at both of them, who are smiling, waiting for what I have to say. At this moment, at this instant. The time it has taken me, all the trail of pain that has persisted.
At the right moment, with the right words.
If I've learned anything, it's that emotions have no logic, they are spontaneous, a product of our personality.
That's why they also change, from one moment to the next.
Colors start to return; the world begins to shine around me. In a night filled with dust and destruction, what I see in front of me are the people I love the most. The people who support me despite my flaws.
If we are going to succeed, I want to do it with them.
If we are going to fail, I want to be there for them.
"I accept who I am, with all my flaws and defects, and I commit to working on them little by little, turning them into strengths that push me forward," I profess, with palpable determination, my strength balancing my weaknesses.
'Sounds good,' I whisper to myself, feeling a small spark of hope begin to burn inside me.
"That's what friends are for."
Then, Otto's words hit me with force, reminding me that I am not alone in this struggle. We are friends, united in love and mutual support, determined to help each other in our darkest moments.
My heart trembles with the certainty of their affection. A small flame of hope rekindles in my chest, illuminating the darkness that had threatened to consume me.
I remember the pain I felt seeing Marco suffer, watching him give up, witnessing Maria's tragedy. But now, in the midst of all this pain, I find solace in the love and friendship of those around me.
"You are the only one who can pull Marco out of his suffering. After all, you are the one who loves him the most, aren't you?" Crusch smiles at me tenderly, her gaze conveying a deep sense of trust and hope.
"You will always be Emilia, the charming half-elf, beautiful and strong, whom my eyes have had the privilege to know."
Remembering her words, I find a refuge, a sanctuary where my heart nestles in the safety of her affection. Like an endlessly flowing river, her words envelop me, nourish me, carry me to a place where strength and vulnerability dance in perfect harmony.
"The arrival of spring implies embracing the risk of winter; becoming present implies accepting the possibility of absence," I recall his wise words as an echo in my soul, a reminder that life is an eternal cycle of renewal and growth.
Every flower petal that opens, the bravery to embrace the cold of pain to give way to the warmth of rebirth. If I hadn't felt all this pain, I wouldn't have risen with this strength.
'Feeling strong means embracing the possibility of feeling weak, feeling useful means embracing the feeling of being useless,' it resonates in my mind like a mantra guiding me in moments of doubt and confusion. In every tear I shed, in every sigh of surrender, I discover a hidden strength, a resilience that blooms in the darkness.
It is your words, Marco, which teach me that 'it all depends on how you choose to perceive it.'
A lighthouse in the storm, a guide that urges me to look beyond my limitations, to find beauty in imperfection, strength in vulnerability.
"Coldness only leads to loneliness, and loneliness to weakness. True strength lies in the warmth of the journey, in sharing your path with those around you, in going through good and bad times. When you share the pain, it becomes weaker." In every hug, in every word of encouragement, I find the power to heal the deepest wounds and find comfort in mutual company.
"Suffering is not necessarily a bad thing. Suffering means the importance you give to it. Therefore, when you suffer, you must learn to suffer," his words are a balm for my wounded soul.
I still remember your words as if they were an echo in my soul, a constant reminder that life is a work of art in perpetual motion.
I can see it; I can see that canvas now. I will take the brush, no longer letting it paint itself.
In every stroke of color, in every brush of light and shadow, I find the promise of a new beginning, the opportunity to create a brighter tomorrow.
I have decided to leave behind my fears and doubts, and embrace the fullness of who I am. I recognize that I am strong and vulnerable at the same time, that my heart holds secrets that only time can reveal.
'I commit to living each day with passion and purpose, to enjoy the journey as much as the destination.'
"Every second counts in fact, no matter how long I live I suppose. The fact that there is an end implies seeing each day, in fact, each second, each moment as so important that I must do everything possible to be and make happy I suppose," Betty, as wise as always.
"Your heart is the only one that can reach him," Luan adds with a warmth that penetrates to the deepest part of my being. His words become a comforting embrace that envelops me, reminding me of the truth that beats within me.
Life may be ephemeral, a fleeting breath in time. But for me, Marco has an immovable place in my heart, a sacred corner that time cannot erase.
No matter how much time passes, he will remain in my soul.
That's why I must do it. I will gather my courage and run to his heart, breaking through the walls that separate us. Even if I might be too emotional, innocent, and even a little naive, it is that very heart that drives me to trust others.
It is my heart, only mine, and because of that, I can love.
Love in MY own way.
Even if suffering is the price of that trust, I won't stop believing. Because there is no warmer feeling than being received with trust, knowing that your feelings are valued and respected.
Like my friends here, whom I love with all my being. It will always be worth it, even if some betray me along the way.
"Marco Luz..." I direct my gaze to Crusch, Otto, and Luan, inviting them to listen carefully, because within these words lies the very essence of my heart. "What I'm about to tell you is his story, a story full of tragedy and suffering."