The Weight of My Mistakes
"Are you even capable of doing anything?"
Annoyance after annoyance.
I know I failed to protect the one I care about from that bastard clown. I know I've been overthinking everything ever since I stepped out of the sanctuary.
'The fear of the outside eats away at you, doesn't it?'
I hear that horrid clown's voice in my head, trying to distract me from what matters.
I know I'm not capable. I thought I was strong, and I was slammed into the ground—not once, but three damn times.
I clench my hands, my veins pulse like they're about to burst.
"I'm Garfield Tinsel! No piece of trash is gonna take tha' from me!" I shout, glaring fiercely at my hand.
"Are you insane?" The red-eyed brat stares at me like I've lost my mind, but I ignore her.
'You can't do it.'
Not being able to and not wanting to are two different things.
I'll keep trying, no matter how many times I fall.
It's like he's right beside me, spouting nonsense just to piss me off. The general told me I needed to accept my weakness to grow stronger. He's a smart guy, and he hits hard too.
'I have to study the strong to figure ou' how to surpass them.'
'I'll learn from anything that crosses my pa'h.'
That damn clown's voice fades, finally letting me focus on my surroundings.
"Alright, kid, I'm listening to your brilliant plan." I fix my gaze at her, but she punches me in response.
"I'm not a kid, dumbass! You're such a stupid cat." She spits on the ground, and I clench my fist again.
The general's woman told me... no, the half-elf... wait, no.
'Emilia! She told me.'
'Don't call little girl a kid; you should treat her with respect.'
The general calls me a kid, and she seems around my age, so she's a kid.
'I don't get women.'
"Tch! Look, we should go inside."
The mansion we're about to rob is bigger than the sanctuary ten times over. Getting to this place was a total pain, especially with this annoyance tagging along.
It's massive, even bigger than the clown's mansion. According to the intel the general gathered, what we're after should be in the second tower.
The mansion has four outer towers connected by long hallways, but apparently, they aren't linked as you'd expect. Access requires some kind of spell or trick.
I try to think it through, but it's pointless.
'If it won't open, I'll smash it with a punch!'
The passage to the inside should be there.
My hands tremble. Something feels off.
'Just do what I told you. Don't kill anyone just because they're on the enemy's side.'
The general's words ring true. It must be the same feeling he had after staying allied with that clown Roswaal for so long.
'Sometimes, they're not bad people; they just don't understand the world around them.'
But even if they're just doing their job, a question festers in my mind.
'Can I kill them if they stand in my way?'
We just have to stay unnoticed until we get inside, grab the thing, and leave. There's no need to kill, no need for serious injuries.
"Are you sure you can move with that sack on your back?" the kid asks, eyeing me doubtfully.
I shift the sack of tools, adjusting it against my back and tying it to my neck with a rope. If I want to move comfortably, I need to keep it as close to my body as possible.
"Ha! For someone as incredible as me, this is nothing," I say proudly. This thing weighs about as much as a grain of salt to me.
We leap from the slope, landing on a tree and bouncing off it until we hit the open area leading to the mansion. It's a long trek, and the sheer size makes it hard to stay hidden.
The guard was stronger outside than inside, as if trying to lure you into a worse fate. The general said the inner guard would be weaker to avoid raising suspicion against him.
We kept moving at full speed, wrapped in dark green cloth to make it harder for them to spot us from a distance. As we got closer, I had to tilt my head all the way back just to catch a glimpse of the top of the mansion.
I glanced at the girl, but she didn't look tired at all.
'That's the bare minimum she should be.'
If we want to get inside, we need to time it perfectly when someone opens one of the doors. If it takes too long, we'll have to climb the outer walls and try to get in through a window, but that risks them hearing the bag make too much noise.
Hiding behind some bushes, I inched toward the door.
'If we want to get in, we'll nee' to use differen' tools.'
"Hey! Don't go too far," the girl whispered, glaring at me with disapproval. "If they see us, we're dead."
The outside world is terrifying, but if I want to survive here, I have to face any situation head-on. I need to push through to live in a world where any mistake means death.
'Mother…'
I closed my eyes for a moment, muttering softly.
"Shh! They'll catch us if you keep talking!"
The girl moved closer to hit me, but right then, the mansion doors opened. I grabbed her hands and covered her mouth, dragging her down behind the bushes and holding my breath.
I shut my eyes, exhaling silently to stop even the faintest trace of mana from escaping.
"Do you think the master will come today? They're saying this trial could seriously harm him."
The clanking of metal plates against the ground calmed me a bit, and I focused on listening.
"Shh! Don't let anyone hear you say that, or you might get fired. It's best to just wait."
'They're just ordinary people.'
"I saw the accusations in the paper. My wife and daughter say everyone around there is siding with Count Luz." One of them sighed deeply, as if the thought pained him. "I only have this job because of Lord Bordeaux. Do you think it's possible he's involved with the Witch Cult?"
"Lord Bordeaux is a man of great honor. The fact that his Grand Sage Flynn was a cultist disgusts me, but you didn't see the lord's face. That's why you think that."
He paused, and my heart started pounding.
'They're just ordinary people.'
'We have to run so we don't hurt them.'
I heard the sound of a sword being drawn.
My heart raced, and guilt crept in.
'I don't want to be a murderer, but I also don't want people to suffer because we couldn't get what we need.'
"Lord Bordeaux gave me everything I have. I saw his face—angry, frustrated, and heartbroken over what happened to his disciple." The knight sheathed his sword. "You shouldn't worry. Even if Duke Harald is caught, it has little to do with our lord."
"Phew~ If you say so, then it must be true. Are you coming to my daughter's birthday tomorrow?"
I glanced at the girl. She seemed calmer now.
The two men moved far enough away that I could no longer hear them.
"Let's go. We need to take advantage of this moment." I pushed aside any useless thoughts. My focus was on fulfilling my duty.
"Touch me or cover my mouth again," she warned, baring her sharp little teeth, "and I'll kill you."
I looked at my hand and noticed a small puncture, blood seeping from it.
"How the hell did you make me bleed with that tiny mouth of yours?" I started in terror.
How could such a delicate-looking girl have such sharp teeth?
'Are all women like this?'
'No wonder the general does everything Emilia says.'
She took the lead, opening the door without making a sound.
'Ram…'
I clenched my teeth, reminding myself that what I was doing was also for her.
'I can't wait to see you wake up.'
We slipped into the mansion quickly, and I took a long look around.
"Woah…" I murmured, glancing in every direction. It felt like I'd stepped into another dimension.
Everything is dazzling—elegant decorations and framed pictures everywhere. The way it's all set up, you'd think this was a king's chamber. I've even seen the clown's mansion, but nothing like this.
'A golden table… must've cost a fortune.'
It looks so good, so shiny with its golden hue. My mouth starts watering, and I can feel my teeth practically itching to take a big bite out of it.
'Would they even notice if I took a bite?'
"If I wasn't used to this kind of thing, I'd probably have the same look on my face as you." The girl sighs at me.
"You're a ca'didate for the throne, aren' you? Bet all you've ever seen are places like thi'."
She glares at me as we keep moving behind the sofa. Her face twists, and now it looks like I really struck a nerve.
"No. I didn't live my life like this," she snaps, cutting her words short and glancing toward the window we need to climb.
If we go through that window, we'll reach the next floor—the only entryway that leads to the hallway connecting to the tower. That tower doesn't have windows or any other entry points.
'I'd better shut up and focus.'
I leap, grabbing onto a part of the facade. The girl clings to my legs and twists herself up onto the next floor. I grip with one arm and toss up the gear, letting her catch it so she can pull it through.
Once I climb in, the atmosphere completely changes.
"Way too different, don't you think?"
I nod immediately.
The bright tones vanish, replaced by a creeping sensation of danger that makes my fur stand on end. It doesn't make sense—even I can say that having a room like this would raise too many suspicions if you're trying to look like a decent person.
There's no smell of blood or anything unusual, but the feeling is just… wrong.
"You think we triggered a trap?" I whisper while she scans the room.
Various sets of armor, swords, shields, and other weapons are mounted on the wooden walls. This room is the only one connecting to the tower, so it should be heavily secured.
This is where we have to act fast and get inside.
"There's gotta be something… a lever, or maybe over there." She points to the fireplace, burning with wood. "It's weird for a rich guy to use wood for a fire."
"Maybe he likes the smell?"
The scent of the fireplace is relaxing. At home, I always enjoy lying beside it, soaking in the warmth at night.
"Are you stupid?"
"Who're you callin' stupid, huh? Dumb little girl!" I step in front of her, and she bares her teeth like she's ready to bite me.
'Wait, aren't I the one with strong teeth?'
'Where the hell did someone like her even come from?'
"We need to hurry," she mutters, eyeing the fireplace. "Theoretically, it leads to the other side. Maybe it's as simple as putting the fire out."
"Wouldn't that be too obviou'?" I've read hero stories where the most obvious entrances turn out to be traps.
My ears twitch instantly, picking up the sound of footsteps approaching.
There's no furniture in this place, so there's nowhere to hide that way.
"Hold me." I stare at her, firm.
"Did you lose your mind too?" she asks, but there's no time to argue.
"Hurry up, kid! Someone's coming!"
"My name's Felt, you damn cat!" she snaps, running toward me and clinging tightly.
Shit.
If I want to hide the bag, I'll need to carry even more weight. I extend my claws and look at the wooden ceiling, which might just hold me. I'm not entirely sure this'll work, but it's worth a shot.
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll kill you." She clings tightly as I climb up, digging my claws into the wood with both hands and feet.
I can hold on like this for a few minutes, but not much longer.
"I don't want anyone to say a little girl's clinging to me either! I've got someone way prettier who lo—ow!"
A pinch makes me wobble, and for a split second, I seriously consider letting her fall.
I don't know why the general insisted she come along with me. Other than her incredible knack for choosing the right path and keeping us from getting caught, she's been nothing but a complete nuisance.
'I want to kick her.'
The door creaks open, and I immediately recognize the voices.
"Lord Bordeaux said we should come down to pick something up and bring it to the capital." The knight looks at the man, who I can now see more clearly. "He also mentioned you should take the opportunity to deliver it. He said he wants to give you something for your daughter."
An elderly man steps forward, his wrinkles stark and undeniable.
"I'm usually the only one who enters this place, but I've never been to where we're supposed to go. This place houses the lord's research—who knows if there are things too private to be seen." His expression is bleak, as if he already knows what's ahead. "I want to trust Lord Bordeaux."
"Let's just do our job, but…" The knight's gaze shifts to the window.
That simple action makes my heart race.
I'm not afraid of being caught. I'm not afraid of fighting.
'I just don't want to kill innocent people.'
I press my lips together, feeling the girl next to me cling tighter.
'Don't look up. Don't look up.'
The knight pulls a large sheet of paper from a nightstand. It looks like a scroll similar to the one the general carries.
"Somehow, I feel like the entire kingdom is about to change." The knight tears the scroll in half, and the fire in the chimney extinguishes itself, collapsing inward.
Once it goes out, the room plunges into darkness.
Then, behind the remnants of the fire, a small door opens. It's just big enough for an adult to crouch and squeeze through.
"It always impresses me," the old man says, bending down to crawl through.
"Let's go."
The knight and the old man disappear into the passage.
I exhale slowly, feeling a small wave of relief. At least I won't have to act—for now. Still, knowing there are more people involved means we'll have to be careful moving forward.
"I'll go first." The girl cracks her knuckles. "You're carrying too much stuff. I'll go in, and you follow me without saying a word."
She mutters something under her breath, too soft for me to catch, and vanishes like a gust of wind.
"Damn it, she went ahead." Adjusting the bag on my back, I hurry after her, leaping through the opening.
After landing, I adjust my grip on the bag and glance around.
I recognize this feeling.
My hair stands on end. My body begins to tremble. The girl next to me is just as still.
"Shit."
The general warned me. He made it clear I'd have to face this.
I can't see it. I can't smell it. I can't touch it. But somehow, every instinct I have screams its presence.
The Witch's Miasma.
"Hey, kid!" I grab her shoulder.
"Huh?"
She glances around frantically, as if her own instincts are kicking in. According to the general, no one should sense the miasma until it's already wreaking havoc on their body.
The fact that she's noticing it now is bizarre.
'Who the hell is this girl?'
"Stick close to me," I say, grinning as her fear becomes evident. "My amazing self will protect you."
"Ha! Who needs protection from a cat?" she retorts, walking beside me with her hands clenched tightly. "It just caught me off guard for a second."
Around us, small lights crafted from magic stones faintly illuminate the tunnel. There's nothing else—no furniture, no weapons—just a dimly lit stone corridor.
We move forward cautiously, staying far enough behind the pair ahead.
If they happen to turn back, we'll have to knock them out. I can handle it here without making much noise.
We continue until we reach a metal door, standing solidly at the end of the path.
She pushes it gently, and in an instant, the girl leaps to the ceiling.
"It's clear."
Without making a sound, she perches effortlessly above the doorway.
I'm honestly surprised by how few guards are gathered inside. It's like they only care about making it look like there are a lot of guards outside while leaving the interior unprotected.
This room is different—it's an office.
A large desk sits at the front, surrounded by hundreds of books. The general said I should pay attention to the books and check if any mention something called...
"Ledger! We need to find that."
I head toward the massive desk while the girl searches for an entrance to the lower area.
It's got to be here somewhere. I grab several papers and try to read them, but I can't make sense of any of them.
"You know what a Zeth is?" I ask, but she immediately shakes her head. "Damn, this is tough."
I don't really know what it means, but it seems to be about people. I take all the relevant papers, but I still don't see anything that looks like a ledger. It's not in the drawers, not hidden anywhere.
"Aren't we stealing? Will this even help in the trial?" the girl asks, and I shrug.
"Beats me. The general's gotta know what he' doing."
"Come here."
She opens a hatch, and a nauseating stench hits my nose.
"Did they go down there?" I try to breathe slowly, trying to get used to the smell.
"I… don't know." Even she flinches a little. "I feel kind of weird."
"Here, take this."
The general told me to give her this glowing crystal if anything strange happened to her. She grabs it, and it lights up immediately, glowing a golden hue.
"The general said it'll only last a few minutes once it activates, so let's go. My amazing self isn't about to carry a kid on my shoulders."
I narrowly dodge her punch.
"I'll kill you if you call me a kid again."
"Hmph! Like you could ever beat someone as amazing as me."
The stairs seem endless, leading deeper into the tower. There are probably guards down there—or worse. I'm not sure why they sent those two people, but if I run into them...
I'll have to act.
The stench grows more nauseating, more oppressive. The general said I'd be fine even if exposed to the miasma, but I don't know how he can be so sure. I've seen the corpses too. I know what happened to those people.
'Meh, I'm the strongest. Obviously, I'll be fine.'
Once we reach the bottom, everything lights up, and, as if fate itself is speaking, I hear them ahead.
"With these pills, you'll win the trial. This medicine will change the world," the knight says, opening a door and following the old man.
"I hate experimenting on animals, but it's for the greater good."
They both face forward, unaware that the girl has already disappeared from sight.
I stay behind, watching them intently.
"Don't touch those things."
I grit my teeth and leap forward immediately.
"Intruders!" The knight tosses the box toward the old man, but I'm already in front of him.
In an instant, I grab the knight's arm and land a hook to his jaw. He grabs his arm for leverage, but the crunch of metal confirms it.
He's weak.
"Ugh!" He groans in pain as his arm breaks, but I don't stop.
I pull him slightly forward and drive my fist into his solar plexus.
"Don't hurt him!" The old man lunges at me but trips, sending the box flying into the air.
"Goldilocks! Catch it!"
"That's even worse!"
The girl snatches the box immediately as the old man collapses beside the knight.
I sigh in relief, then glare at the old man.
"That's no damn healing pill, old man."
"I don't believe you!" The old man reaches desperately toward the knight.
I'm not a hundred percent sure, but the general told me these pills—they're the kind that turn you into a monster. They strip away all consciousness in exchange for insane strength.
Their very existence is something even my grandmother didn't know about.
"He's just unconscious; they'll heal him later." I headed toward the opened entrance. "Let's move quickly. The old man doesn't look like he' about to budge—it'll take him forever to climb up and call the guards."
"We should knock him out too. Don't you know how?"
I scratched the back of my head lightly. "A hard hit, I guess." The general had told me I'd learn how to do that, but he didn't exactly explain how to do it without the risk of killing someone.
It's just a weak, innocent old man.
'I don't want to accidentally kill him.'
"Ugh! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
A piercing scream tore through my ears. I spun around instantly to see what was happening, but all I could make out was the old man pinning the knight to the ground.
"Edgar! Edgar, wake up!"
"AHHJHH!" The knight flung the old man off with one arm, and I struggled to catch him.
The ground started trembling. What had been a faint sensation was now undeniable reality.
"The pill!" I shouted, watching as the knight began to change.
"Shit!" The girl hurled a dagger at him, but it shattered against his face.
"AHHHH!"
A shockwave blasted us into the wall, the knight's agonized screams echoing as his transformation completed.
"It's true! Dammit, Edgar!" The old man tried to push forward, but I grabbed him. "Wake up! Fight whatever the hell this is! You're the strongest knight! My daughter's godfather!"
The old man's cries were drowned out by the knight's wails of agony.
"Girl, run! Take the old man and get out of here!"
Her eyes stayed wide open, as if she couldn't even hear me.
The screams grew slower, like something was running out.
"Damn it, Felt!" I growled, mustering all my strength to shove the old man toward her along with the supplies.
She snapped out of it, staring at me as the world around us turned purple. Flames erupted from the knight's body, illuminating everything in a violent hue.
There was nothing left to think about.
A grin spread across my face as I felt the pressure mount in my chest.
"Get those legs moving! My amazing selves got a fight to win!"
The girl nodded and retreated with the old man. Now, it was just me and my destiny.
The knight locked his gaze on me with what could barely be called an eye.
He was entirely engulfed in those purple flames, like something deep inside him was burning. His eyes, his body—they were brimming with unnatural energy.
I swallowed hard and grabbed my newly crafted gauntlets. They'd been made in a rush, but their quality left no room for doubt. Two steel gauntlets that didn't fully cover my fingers, leaving my claws free.
They were heavy, but nothing my incredible body couldn't handle with enthusiasm.
"Alright then! Time to kick some ass!"