Laila
I let my wolf take control, and step to the back of my mind. I relish into the feeling of lightness that shifting into my animal gives me. I am never more happy than I am when in my wolf form.
I feel of the wind caressing my fur..
The kiss of fallen leaves and dampness of the earth under my paws..
The fresh scent of trees in my nostrils..
Freedom ...
I wish I could live in wolf form permanently, hunt for my food and just run around forests and mountains without a care in the world.
But sadly, wolves live in packs. If I stay alone in the wild, I would turn into a rogue. I might even go feral, harm other wolves and become a target myself.
While if I chose to live amongst humans in human form, I would only be a lone wolf.. It is safest for myself and for others. It is the the wisest choice for me to make.
After forty minutes of pure bliss, I arrive into neutral territory. The wet smell of grass and moss, and the rushing sound of the waterfall hit me; I have reached my destination.
I slow my steps until I stop at the shore to drink. When I'm sated, I lay over the wet grass on my back hinds and enjoy the feel of water droplets falling on my fur like a soft rain.
That's when I hear a twig break behind me. I turn my head and break into a big smile, my tongue lolling and my tail wagging in happiness.
My best and only friend Zoe yelps and then leaps at me, making us roll over each other again and again. We start jumping around, we play and tug at each other's tails. We run for hours after each other, letting out playful snarls and howls.
When I finally feel spent and satisfied, I lead Zoe back to the waterfall. We swim for a while before we get out and shake ourselves dry. We sit there, curled around each other, her head layed affectionately on my back.
Zoe and I met a couple of years ago. I was taking a run in the middle of the night as I always do, when we bumped into each other not far from the waterfall. She was upset with her overprotective parents and we clicked immediately.
We've been meeting in wolf form only. Always the same time and place, three times a week since that day. It's my secret piece of paradise that I will miss immensely when I'm gone.
'This was fun, I needed it.' I say softly to Zoe into the mind-link.
'How bad was it?' She asks, intuiting the obvious.
'The usual.. For today's menu, a dozen whipping for a cold meal.' I sigh.
She spins her head to the side, locking eyes with me in concern. She swipes her gaze all over my body looking for wounds. As if she could've missed it earlier.
Others would have their wounds show both on their human and wolf forms. Another oddity of mine. My wounds never show on my wolf form, and I noticed that my skin heals faster when I shift too.
Huffing in annoyance, Zoe lays her head back on me and asks:
'Why won't you let me help you Laila? Why would you endure all of this when I can get you out and take you somewhere safe?'
'I already told you Z! My father is high ranked in the pack and his word holds great power. Whoever your dad is, he can't do anything about it. Only the alpha can.' Zoe remains silent for a moment, then sighs in resignation.
We have been over this so many times before. My answer has always been the same; othing can be done, except for me to leave the pack after Brandon's ascension as beta. I never told her who my brother is though.
'I told you Z, I'm only waiting for my brother's... upcoming birthday. Then I will leave and start over in the farthest human city I can reach. I've been saving what allowance he'd given me throughout the years and I am almost done with my healing certificate. I will apply for a nursing training program or a healer's assistant job. I will make it work, don't worry.'
'Alright, I trust you have all the means to succeed Lai. I will just miss you terribly and our nocturn escapades! I hope l can find my mate soon so I don't feel too lonely. Won't you regret leaving before finding your mate though?'
Yes, that. I will miss my only friend when I leave, and the opportunity to find my mate. To love and be loved. I wonder how would that feel? Am I even worthy of having a mate at all? After all, my mother died because if me. And I am all sort of odd that I doubt anyone would want to be with me anyway.
And I don't want to make my brother's life more difficult than it already is right now. This has to stop, I fear I will start defending myself against my father one of these days. And I know bad things would happen if I do.
Brandon already lost a mother because of me, I don't want to be responsible of him losing another parent. Our dad treats him right and I know he feels guilty about it, but he loves him and I'm ok with it.
'It's time' I tell Zoe. I stand at the sight of dawn breaking and shake my fur with a big yawn. I needed more rest but I wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. 'Let's get back, I only have an hour to go back and clean before I have to make breakfast for my father. He has training this morning, and I don't want to be late, come on.'
Zoe stands and shakes herself too. She then licks the side of my head affectionately, causing me to giggle. Turning to look at her one last time, I bolt into the woods heading back home as fast as I can.
Thankfully the morning went by without incidents, Brandon being there to distract dad was very helpful. The minute they were out of the house I climb the stairs quickly and enter my room. I sit on the desk, open the last drawer and put my hand under it. I sigh in relief and pull. That is where I hide my iPad. I purchased it last year to take a condensedhealing course, not even Brandon knows about it, or anything about my plans.
I see that I am right on time to open the platform for my final exam and log into my account. I click on the start button to enter a virtual meeting room where a supervisor will be waiting for me, they will be watching me the whole time.
Once in, I greet them, then they send me the document with the questions I have to answer in it. Taking a deep breath I open the document.
Let's do this!