Chapter Text
"...and as an added bonus, ze Joint European Territories have lost zere water supply along with ze siren infestation. I believe your political leader from zere has no choice but to concede ze land, aye mein Gött?"
Ainz, in his overlord form, scratched his absent chin in careful consideration. At the moment, he and Pandora were celebrating a successful operation with a nice game of…well they never came up with a name for it. If all he wanted for a reward was more game time, he could've just asked. On the rare occasion neither of them were preoccupied with something, they would ask 'would you like to play a round' to continue the game.
Combining magic and holograms from Earth, Ainz commissioned a round table to be made as a board from Pandora. His German-obsessed son, surprisingly, loved the idea of resting in between work shifts. He crafted the most beautiful wooden table with edges adorned with over 150 different minerals from both Earth and YGGDRASIL. The pillar holding the table up was carved to show the original Nines Own Goal. The first nine members of Ainz Ooal Gown, Ainz included. The gift and immortalization of his friends rewarded Pandora with the very first game. That was six months ago and they were still playing the same game.
That's what I get for ignoring the market to focus on politics. Ainz responded to Pandora's turn, "Hmm, give me a status report for the present situation on each of our operations, while I take my turn."
Pandora nods before materializing a stack of papers from thin air. Ainz internally groans, but motions for Pandora to begin, "Ve'll start vith Operation Harvest. A resounding success! All of ze seeds have been transferred back here vith the guards being replaced with doppelgangers. Zey vill not be able to find out before ve properly reveal ourselves."
Ainz moves his factory away from Pandora's Southern assault.
Pandora continues, "Along vith zat, ze Director has been placed as public enemy #2 in the Japanese villain database. Right above Tomura Shigaraki and below All For One. Zere vill be no need to set up bait for ze next showing."
Ainz taps his skeletal finger in contemplation of both the board and Pandora's plans. He feels like he's forgetting something.
"Speaking of which, I vould like access to both [The Barbarian's Bestiary] and [Cathonaut Findings] to further expand my monster horde. Ze people may grow bored of my current catalogue."
Pandora was complaining about only using [Playground Inhabitants] as his only summoner grimoire.
Stopping his thoughts, Ainz answered, "Granted. Begin small and work your way up to the finale, which I presume is almost ready?"
The 'finale' was the magnum opus of Ainz's friend Ketaphos. He grinned upon recalling an early memory of his friend going on and on about the intricacies of his masterpiece and how he'd 'lock the devs in my beauty for the amount of bypassing I had to do.' Ketaphos gave it to Ainz with the wish that it would get used in the most spectacular manner.
Ketaphos succumbed to the cruel world he was born into before seeing his creation activate. Ainz never used it, for without Ketaphos being able to log on, his project was the last remaining remnant of his being. So it stayed in Ainz's inventory, until now.
"Ja mein Gott. I zank you again for providing me ze opportunity to send off a Supreme Being." Pandora said this with tears coming out of his eye sockets.
Huh, Pandora is being melodramatic again. But it's nice to have somebody care for him enough to shed tears… wait. Tears…water…oh no. Ainz remembered the crucial fact he forgot.
"Pandora…are you beginning to plant the seeds now?"
Pandora wiped his tears away, "Correct! Ze task was started ze moment we finished Operation Harvest."
Ainz completely pulled his attention from the strategy game, "Hmm. Good, except, how are they being fed water with the planet being barren?"
A finger was raised from the shapeshifter before realization hit him. He remembered the nitrogen, the oxygen, the lack of tectonic plates, the carbon dioxide levels, the needed albedo levels, taking in account the missing magnetosphere, and yet he forgot the most obvious part of a livable planet: water.
"AAAAAACCK!" He screamed while clutching at his neo-nazi commander cap. "Mein Vate-…, no I don't deserve zat, mein Gott! Forgive your lowly servant for being such a dim-vitted, idiotic, foolish-…"
Pandora was on the floor bowing down; hitting his head against the floor for each insult.
Ainz put up his skeletal hand, "Enough of this Pandora. The seeds will need to be halted momentarily. Just tell me the supplies and needed amount of water that we currently have at our disposal."
Scratch marks appeared on his white face upon raising his head to think, "Vell… Earth has about 1.335 billion cubic kilometers of vater… plus or minus the amount in the current water cycle…taking account of Mars' size…"
He brushed himself off and gave his creator an answer, "Ve vould need 1,200 [Thor's Gourd] s zat have a flow rate of 1 L/s about 13 days to fill up ze entire oceans of Mars."
Whoa… that's it? Ainz thought. The oceans of Earth were enormous, but he could create one in simply two weeks! The reason Pandora used so many gourds was because he dumped all of his useless items from his inventory into a new treasury for Pandora to manage. Thank god those gourds were stackable. That illusion giant boss never gave me the drop I wanted.
"Marvelous," The overlord looked at the enormous overhead clock in the room. Pandora insisted on using [Chronos' Chronometer] as the castle's timepiece. Ainz begrudgingly obliged despite the steampunk nature clashing with the quartz halls. "Ah, it seems that Eri's about to leave school. That would be our cue."
Ainz and Pandora agreed that any 'child-friendly' Director performances would be set after Eri left school. The more brutal acts would be set during school hours and at least a few cities away for good measure. No way in Muspelheim I'll let her see Charybdis or even worse: the Rhetorical Mind.
"Mein Gott, excuse my curiosity, but ven vill ze princess see ze vonderful new vorld you are making?"
"When the canyons are spilling water and the deserts are flourishing with life once again, then I will show her our work." Ainz mused. He ignored Pandora calling her a 'princess' believing that to be part of his melodrama. "And be sure to include foliage and seed caches from YGGDRASIL. A reminder of home will do us some good."
Pandora nodded and snapped his fingers; their strategy game will be saved for a later time.
Contrasting the delighted mood on Mars, a certain mastermind was stumped by the newcomer. Kurogiri acted as All For One's eyes while the TV recording replayed the debut of the Director.
"…he is pulling out a book of unknown origin and flipping through it."
The Director on the TV screen mirrors Kurogiri's words, "No too difficult, no too intelligent, no too high level, no too arrogant, no too indescribable…"
Kurogiri slows down the footage, "Monsters are shown on each page. I've left textile images of the few monsters we can see on camera. They seem to share the common theme of relating to children's memorabilia."
Using one of his several dozen telekinetic abilities, All For One 'glanced' at each picture. They number six in total and all look like they were ripped from the mind of a child's nightmare.
One named "The Spider" looked just like a bright neon spider with the caveat being that its eight eyes were placed all over its abdomen.
"Playmate" appeared as a gaunt child dressed up in a shabby jester outfit. It's head hollowed out with the hole being placed where the face should've been.
AFO was particularly interested in one dubbed "The Guardian" a behemoth of unknown size that carried an entire building sized playscape in what should've been its head.
The other two were quaint in nature, save for the final piece that Kurogiri created. The others may have been pictures, but this one was very much real. The uncannily long slender legs being contrasted by the bulging stomach with shapes on it. Kurogiri's shadowy head flickered slightly. He would much prefer to never see that thing again.
The TV show showed the impossible scene of a book creating a monster. And yet there it was. AFO immediately began molding plans around these two new facts: the Director seems to have a quirk involving obliteration or mass time stoppage and that he cannot summon monsters; the book can.
AFO floated a series of instructions to Kurogiri, "Cancel all of our plans with Stain and Shinjuku. I want everything there is to know about the Director along with locating the origin of that book. This may be the first time in 200 years that a non-organic has inherited a quirk and I am not leaving it in the hands of a delusional fool who is more obsessed with show business than actual ambition."
He paused his orders to look over the files of villains that participated in the USJ, "And see if Tomura can handle a bit of diplomacy."
Apologies to parents, apologies to the news crew, apologies to society, and apologies to the students. So many excuses and "forgive me's" were given out that Nezu's throat had gotten slightly sore. Yesterday was the biggest disaster in the school's history and people worldwide were interested.
He looked out his office window and, lo and behold, a few dozen more reporters were waiting to interview who they believed to be the culprits and victims. Some weren't even from Japan.
Nezu brought a paw to his face, rubbing it down. Damnit. He kept his word that the children would be safe, save for Midoriya's recklessness. Yet he streamed the disaster to the whole world?! What does he gain? What could he possibly have earned from humiliating my establishment?!
His fur was getting more and more ruffled by the second. Any more and he'd be indistinguishable from the animal people assumed him to be.
The principal didn't even bother about the instant death of the Nomu. It was a villain after all, why should he care for them?
"I just need to ignore it and move on. Even with all my intelligence…it means nothing in the face of a deity," he whispered to himself. "Perhaps the worst of it is my curiosity."
Holding everyone in place regardless of strength, obliterating a villain without a trace, using a book to summon a monster, and disappearing as if he was air itself. Ability after ability fueled a sensation in Nezu's nut-sized hyper-intelligent brain that craved for more.
Nezu took his paws off his face and stared back at the yelling reporters with a sort of crazed impatience.
I want to see what he does next. He chuckled slightly.
And thus, the monkey's paw curled a finger. "{Master, the Director has sent us a message to 'avoid Shinjuku.'}"
Nodding at Al's words, the chimera reached for his cup of tea with his voice slowly reaching a crescendo of maniacal laughter.
For a brief second, he felt pity for the hero that'd be forced to deal with that situation.
"50 missed calls and 30 unread messages from the boss," Hawks whistled. "You take one day off and the office thinks that's the perfect time to contact you."
The number three hero, Hawks, was dangling his legs over a skyscraper's roof while contemplating the pros and cons of answering his phone. He decided it'd be best to at least humor them. The first ring doesn't even finish before it's picked up by a very irate boss.
"Mind explaining to me why I couldn't contact you at all these last 24 hours?" Hawks begins clearing his throat, "And don't you dare give me that 'day off' excuse. The damn thing was everywhere in the news."
Hawks pushed through several minutes of scolding before they even got to the reason why they were doing it in the first place, "...you just put the phone down did you? I swear to God when I get my hands on-...forget it. Listen, I'm sending you everything you need to know about the new villain that popped up. They call themselves the Director and-..."
The hero stopped listening as he saw something far more important across from him, "Sorry, chief. I think I see a jumper. How about we talk about this over a coffee, hmm? Your treat, of course."
"Hawks, no! Don't you dare hang-...!" He didn't even wait for them to finish before putting his phone on silent.
The winged-hero brushed his hair back and adjusted his goggles, Time to trigger the Hawks charm.
A few buildings away, someone without wings was dangerously close to the edge of a skyscraper. Just standing there doing something. Hawks wasn't going to gamble on them having the necessary quirk to survive if they fell by accident…or on purpose. Landing softly behind the man, Hawks prepared to grab them as he's done hundreds of times before. Depressingly, the winged-hero probably saved more people from themselves than from villains.
"I can hear ya', y'know?" Spoke the foreigner(?) with a heavy accent. "No need to be so stealth'y."
Hawks wasn't really surprised at the man being able to hear him, "Just doing a hero's work. Don't want you to do anything foolish. Just by looking at you I'm not reassured that you'd survive a fall considering how close you're standing to the edge."
Even with Hawks addressing him, the man still didn't turn around. He was absolutely enraptured in whatever was in his arms. The man himself was ordinary. Another bystander he'd fly by. Another civilian to save. The average Joe.
"Heh, 'ow thoughtful," His voice was dripping with indifference. "Apologies for wasting your time then…say couldja help a soul out?"
Hawks shrugged and walked closer. If it was between mingling with civvies or confronting his boss, he'd choose the former. Upon seeing what the man was doing, he was looking through a book. The words were written in a language he couldn't understand, Arabic maybe, I don't know. However the real eye-catcher was the monster above the words. It was a gruesomely well-drawn image of what appeared to be a monster made out of broken pianos with its teeth replaced by keys.
To Hawks, this was nothing to even worry over, "Yo man, that monster is sick!" He rubbed his short beard. "You a talented artist or something?"
The foreigner laughed, "No no no, talented? Yes. Artist? Nowhere near my speciality. I'm just a filmmaker decidin' what to star as my next villain. Which is why I'd like some help, 'ould ya' like to pick 'em for me?"
He handed the book over to Hawks. The hero began flipping through each page. Somehow each image was more monstrous and unique then the last. A solid ten minutes pass by when he finds the perfect specimen. He points at the image to show the filmmaker. The 'villain' he's pointing to was a floating dodecahedron. Each facet displayed a different material from wood, to dirt, to metal, and several more. Hawks chose it not for its horror, but from the fact he had no idea what it did.
The foreigner chuckled at what the hero chose, "So you're leavin' the monster up to chance, eh? Choosin' the [Devil's Roll] does sound more entertainin.' 'ow about you play as the 'ero in this scene? I'm currently short on actors."
Since there was no trouble (and his boss would kill him if he didn't report back), he off-handedly commented, "Sure, when do I begin?"
"Now."
Hawks looked over to the filmmaker in confusion and saw that the book was gone. In the foreigner's hand was a small dice that was identical to the one in the book.
The winged-hero was about to compliment his ability to plan ahead, but was interrupted by the man throwing the dice off the building. Except, it didn't fall. It bounced on thin air. The wretched die continued rolling until it stopped at the number '15.'
"Hoho! Unlucky for ya, my fledgling," The foreigner mocked as the die grew exponentially in size into a monster with rotting wings, four human-like arms, half of its head was gone with the lower half of its head floating above the body. The arms were wrapped around the body instead of attached as if the being performed crude surgery on itself. Not even stumps appeared for legs; the wings were all it needed.
From confused, to unnerved, to abject terror, Hawks couldn't even make out a word let alone a quip. Who in All Might did he have the misfortune of flying into?
The 'filmmaker' pulled a clapper from nowhere, completely ignoring the affront to God behind him. Since they first met, he was giving Hawks his full attention, "Scene 2, take 1. The winged-hero Hawks vs. the Brass Gate's Keeper: Alefolm! Action!"
*SNAP*
Alefolm, who had been as still as a statue, positioned the bottom half of his head towards Hawks and everything began to melt.
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
Dimitri jolted awake at the sound of the control panel going off. It had been a bit over a month and they finally were in range to begin landing preparations. The Katabasis crew were still a few hours off, but it felt nice to finally see some color rather than a glowing speck in the expanse of space.
After floating towards the console and silencing the alarm, he woke up Connor to begin (what he assumed was) the morning shift.
He was about to head towards the mini kitchen the shuttle had set up to prepare a coffee pouch before Connor interrupted him, "Err, isn't Phobos supposed to be just a rock?"
Dimitri rolled his eyes, "Yes, just like our moon it is just a rock."
"What about it being bright and purple?"
Dimitri looked out the front window and, to his surprise, the left of the spaceship was a faraway Phobos, but it was indeed shining purple. Dmitri's heart raced at the sight of such wonder. It was absolutely beautiful.
Checking the navigation panel with adrenaline pumping through him, his wonder was replaced with confusion. The spacecraft was tilting slightly towards Phobos instead of Mars.
"That…that makes no sense," Dimitri mumbled.
Connor was looking through the shuttle's built-in telescope to find the answer. It was somehow even more impossible.
"Uhh…those are neodymium magnets around some sort of unknown technology. They might have made a working magnetosphere using Phobos' close orbit to Mars." Connor said calmly.
Even with the impossibility right in front of his eyes, Connor was never one to fear the unexplainable. Science conquered all. He may not know how they did it, but he knew that Dionysodorus was rolling in his grave due to humans not even being able to use his ideas first. If skeletons existed on Mars, then so be it. Perhaps the skeletons saw Earth's version and wanted to replicate that. Nothing wrong there.
Connor was also an optimist to a fault.
"We'll have to wake up Amy and Mrs. Bates. There'll be a lot of turbulence especially since we gotta avoid an entire magnetic moon now.
Amy entered the cockpit with half-closed eyes, but still lucid enough to pick on her colleague, "Christ Conner, it's been a month in this tin can and you still refer to her with all that 'Mrs' junk?"
The American astronaut's cheeks tinged with red slightly, "I just…want to treat her with the respect a #1 hero deserves…that's all."
Dimitri shared a look with Amy, "Uh-huh. Fanboy time can wait until we get home. I'm deactivating the time dilation quirk now. Don't want us to rush the most crucial part of the mission."
Amy openly said, "I wonder if the skeletons speak. They can walk and are somehow still in one piece so they could do anything as far as we know."
"They might think we're higher up the evolutionary tree," Connor regained his composure and snickered. "Considering we are the exact same plus with fleshy bits added on."
The idea was amusing to Dimitri, but there was an added horror within, "They might think the skeletons are 'trapped' within us and need to be 'freed.'"
"Ah…yeah well, let's place that as the worst case scenario."
A red alarm flooded the room with noise and light. It was time to land on New Mars and meet their neighbors.
"Um, can I have some of your chocolate one?" The one-horned girl asked.
The two of them were sitting on a bench enjoying some ice cream. Ainz, who was relishing his pho-body's ability to taste, was negotiating with a child, "Of course, however I need something in exchange. How about a taste of your vanilla?"
Eri responded by holding out her ice cream cone. A [Message] from Pandora interrupted his trade deal, "{Mein Gott, I have some…troubling news. Zis performance vill not be age-appropriate due to, ah, a certain miscalculation vith ze summon.}"
Ainz was relieved that the problem was so minor, "{That's nothing to be concerned over. What exactly did you summon?}"
A guilty silence permeated Ainz's mind as Pandora avoided answering the question, "{...Alefolm.}"
Ainz choked on the ice cream Eri gave him, "{Alefolm?! Under no circumstances will I allow Eri to witness his true form let alone [Rusted Gates] ."}
Strangely, thousands will die thanks to Pandora's mis-summon, but the thought didn't even cross the overlord's mind. Ainz didn't want to trigger any harsh memories from her past. Eri's friendship outweighed the lives of every human on earth let alone the Shibuya center. His real disappointment lied in the fact he couldn't boast his and Pandora's power to her. This was the ultimate goal of the Director. To put on shows for Eri while Mars was being worked on.
Unfortunately, thanks to the existence of [Rusted Gates] , Ainz would either have to tell Pandora to scrap the current 'showing' or face a fully powered pout from Eri. The seventh-tier spell [Rusted Gates] is exclusive to Alefolm alone as it summons the first three gates of hell. It's a powerful crowd control debuff spell that puts [Madness] on anyone in a two kilometer radius while also showing very graphic depictions of burning sinners.
In short, not something a child who experienced hell for three years should see.
Pandora explained himself quickly, "{I decided to try audience participation, but zey chose ze [Devil's Roll] and it landed on fifteen…please forgive me Vater zis vill never happen again!}"
His voice was more and more jumpy the further he went on. Not only did he forget the water for Mars, but now he couldn't impress his little niece with his magic.
Ainz was about to give him consolation when yet another [Message] arrived. This time it was from his lead skeletal supervisor Thanatos, "{My lord, the humans aboard the spacecraft will arrive in a few hours near designation Vanaheim. Shall we send out the ships or await for your grand arrival?}"
Mars was divided up into nine sections (which will have to be redrawn now that the oceans will consume 2/3rds of the land), each one representing one of the nine realms of norse mythology. Minus Midgard and adding on Helheim. The reason for them having to redraw the maps was that Vanaheim was going to be completely underwater.
Ainz brought a hand to his forehead as he realized the situation. Pandora was busy with his next act and couldn't break character once the cameras were rolling. The overlord himself needed to appear before the spacecraft to show them his devastating power. The power of the quirks were far too risky to underestimate. Considering he's been ignoring it since he met her, Eri's quirk seems to have the ability to obliterate anyone when she activates it. And that's with the control of a child.
Ainz looked down to the child in question sitting next to him on the bench. Happily enjoying her treat.
Ohhh boy. Two decisions here and they are both ass. Take the child to an unfinished planet which I'm not even sure could support her yet or take her to the gorefest that is Alefolm. Ainz pondered what to do next until he thought of a third option.
Sending an answer to Pandora to roll the cameras and to Thanatos to welcome the visitors, he pulled out his phone and dialed a number he kept for over a year. It may be a bit rude to call him only a day after a terrorist attack, but he still owes me after I gave him that jar.
When the line picked up, Ainz put on his most regal voice.
*RING RING*
"Toko…Tooookoooo!"
The purple raven shadow with yellow eyes tried waving his arms over Tokoyami's head. Nope. He is out like a light. Yesterday's USJ attack along with the Director upstaging said attack took a huge energy toll on the poor boy. He had to stay the night at UA's emergency room. Once he got back to his apartment, his body didn't even fully reach the bed without falling asleep.
Dark Shadow was going to blow out the candles when the phone rang, but… he really didn't want to wake his master. No matter how much they bicker, he is still the shadow's best friend.
So he picked up the phone himself. "Hello there. Resident of the dark lord Tokoyami Fumikage here," Dark Shadow snickered at his impression.
"Oh? A dark lord? He'll need more than a few shadows to earn that title." The voice. Dark Shadow hadn't heard that voice in a year, but he could've gone the rest of his shadowy life without it for all he cared.
The phone phased through his body for a second, "M-M-Milord! It's been a long t-time. To what do I have the pleasure and honor of hearing your voice?" For once Tokoyami's LARPing had come in handy.
"Ah, this must be the shadow creature that latched onto the raven child. How're you enjoying your new friends? That jar should've held up to five if I remember."
Only one of the shadow creatures was in the room right now as Toko instructed the other four to do long menial tasks. He was too tired to instruct all five.
"They are splendid, sire."
"Very well then. Onto why I have called you; look after my…someone for me. Do this and I'll consider the price for the jar paid off. Fail, and you'll beg that All Might dropped you during the USJ."
Dark Shadow was a lot happier because his master was asleep for this.
Right before the phone line ended one last command was called, "I will pick them up before the moon rises. She has a bit of a fear of birds, but your performance overpowered that."
If he had the ability to, Dark Shadow would be sweating bullets. Who did he have to look after? A demon? An undead warrior? Some incomprehensible being? And he still hadn't woken Tokoyami!
Dark shadow ruffled his master's feathers to wake him up to varying results, "BY THE ONE ABOVE ALL! What foolishness compelled you to wake me?! You know very well how consumed I am after the darkness that fell over-..."
*KNOCK KNOCK*
Stopping his tirade was a knock from his apartment door. Dark Shadow was so frozen in fear from what could've been behind it he forgot to warn Tokoyami. His master opened the door to the exact opposite of Dark Shadow's fears. It was a little unicorn with big eyes and long silver hair.
She managed to get the first word in, "Uhm…h-hello Papa's friend. S-sorry for him being mean to you, please take care of me!" She bowed her head outside the doorway.
Tokoyami's tiredness and lack of understanding gave him the perfect response: "What?"