The glass of milk was to my side, empty. Even with the downed milk, I still couldn't sleep, not once. This was the first time I had been unable to drift inside my dreams. My nonexistent dreams.
Provoking thoughts subsumed my mind, seeking answers to the stories and the questions it gave then answered. It felt like eternity, but I had not went to sleep that night. I couldn't even catch a wink. As the sun awoke from it's breaking and the nightlong dark black sky was replaced with a new light blueish hue; I got up from bed and began to get ready for school.
Once my teeth had been brushed and flossed, and clothes and footwear tucked with my body, I waited downstairs on the couch. As I waited routinely for my mother to wake up and get dressed herself, I clutched the book in my hands once more.
She came downstairs, on time and rith keys in hand. Before i knew it, I felt a slimmer of exhaustion creeping along my back and weighing down my eyelids. I chalked it off and shook it away. Before I knew it, we were in the car, driving towards the school. As many times before, silence filled the ride. I decided now was the best time, "Mom, whats god?" I muttered.
Her visible shock was evident, not enough to disrupt the ride but to make her expression look readable and evidently surprised.
She coughed, clearing her throat. With a gentle and subtle pickup of bewilderment, she began to explain. "God is our father" she said, continuing: "He's the one who created all of us and the earth. He's a loving person who loves you very much"
I was thinking, it was different as they were blurred and mixed with even more confusion.
I asked how could he be everyone's father? That was surely impossible. How could he love me when I haven't met him? That was very unlikely.
How did he create me? How did he create the world? I didn't know much about the world at the time, but I did know it was quite large. I had more thoughts but i felt those were the most important. She seemed to understand, Beginning to give clarification. "God works ways we can only imagine, he knows and sees all. he loves without cause or reason, no matter who you are, he'll always love you and want you the best, just like me"
"But what about God being everyone's father?"
"For those who embrace God as he embraces all those, he allows for himself to reconnect with you, as if your their own child. But this is different, you're really god's child.
When mommy was just in school too, I somehow had gotten pregnant with you. It was a miracle. You're a living miracle"
Silence lingered for the rest of the ride.
I had gotten out of the car, waving my mother goodbye. I had been letting what she said sit in, but it was incredibly slow. I was God's biological child? Was I the first? Why? They buried more into my mind, making me lose my sense of time. It felt weird, I was in one place and another in just a second.
From the school's cross street to the first grade classroom. I was sitting in my seat, waiting for the teacher to arrive. They had usually been known to be late. I looked around, seeing my peers begin to fool around had no longer surprised me, simply another moment in the day I had been acustomed to.
It was quickly interpreted, scurrying to their seats as door hilts creeked and opened. Two females, adult and a child walked close, stoping and turning in front of the white board and facing the class. "Good morning, Mr Burk is unable to be contacted at the moment so I'll be your new teacher for the time"
I can't say I was surprised, albeit just a little. Judging by her looks, she seemed more professional and stable, something Mr Burk lacked.
However, my attention was more on the one next to her.
"Welcome your new classmate. Honey, please introduce yourself"
My attention had sharpened, I didn't know why but I was always naturally curious about everything: But this curiosity felt different. More to it then just interest to learn. I couldn't describe it at the time.
The new girl began to speak, her cheerful smile matching with her extentric voice. "My name is Evelynn, I moved from Australia and I like History"
From her introduction, I felt something. I recognized it as a feeling I didn't feel before, being entirely new. As much as I tried pushing it away, it wouldn't stay down, so I left with thinking to myself, what was happening?
I was so caught up that I nearly jumped from the screeching pull of a chair. Turning to look at my left, I saw her sitting next to me, I turned the other way before she had saw me glancing. I tried my best not to stare, turning to look at the board and the beginning of our new teachers banter.
After time had set and classes were over, I was sitting on the school's stairs outside, my mom would pick up at around any time soon.
Startled from incoming footsteps behind me, my head turned and I saw Evelynn, just as brightful as she was in class. She couched and sat next to me, grin from ear to ear. "Hey, I'm Evelynm, but you already know that. You are?"
She held out her hand towards me, invitation in the open. I hesitated, off put by her vibrant demeanor and my own lack of interaction other than from my own mother.
I reached out my hand and my grip tightened around her own.
"Messias"