We stayed up all night, trying to figure this gun shit, Senzo was fed up but wasn't willing to give up unless I do and I wasn't having it, all I could think about is what Senzo said 'why, do you trust them so much?'. Why do I trust them so much what if they will turn on me when days get dark, why do they want to help me so much, how do they know so much about me, you know what that's it I'm getting answers. The minute I throw my gun down and walk out, Senzo puts his down and follows me, I go to the brothers, that were by the dining area drinking alcohol, flying fish to be exact
Me:"Why are you guys helping me? How do you know about my father and what he did to me? What's your guy's plan? What do you have against my father that you need me in order to do whatever you need to do?"
I say all of this whilst standing in front of them with tears in my eyes but trying by all means not to make the mistake of letting them slip
Nkosi:" Uhm can we talk about this later "
The hell, what game is this? I first look at them and then I walk away
Me:"Senzo, Thamsanqa, Mandla, lets go we going home, pack your shit!!"
Thamsanqa :"Finally"
I hear him whisper, I don't blame him we've been here for at least a week and I haven't filled them in on why exactly are we here, that was selfish of me, I need to tell them, they are old enough now
Nkosi :"You, can't go, what about your father, he's gonna hurt you "
Nigga must be crazy, he thinks I have time to play, so I just ignore him and continue packing, if he really cared he would at least fill me in on what exactly is their plan, what do they have against my father etc, not the shit they are telling me now
After everyone has packed we leave without saying anything,, it's not like the brothers tried to even stop us so we left and walked until we found a taxi. I was hurt, broken, I was so sure that my father was finally gonna get the karma that he deserves but I guess I was wrong, my brothers were next to me, so I looked outside the window and quickly wiping my tears, I can't have them see me like this, I need to be strong for them.
We get home, and the place is fine I guess, it seems like nobody is here, and I'm actually happy I don't think Senzo and I want to see that man right now so, it's kinda a good thing
Me:"ok guys, go take a shower, eat then when you done, we need to talk, there's something I need to tell you guys, it's time you guys know"
I whisper the last part coz it makes my heart heavy
After everyone has taken a bath and eaten including myself, we sit in the dining area, we first sit in silence until I decide to break the ice
Me :"Your father sold me"
I said and they all looked at me, shocked, speechless
Me :"one day when you guys were at school and I stayed home, he uhm got men, not sure from where and he told him to sleep with me, they took my virginity, your father sold me."
I kept quiet for a couple minutes trying to keep my cool, and not allow my tears to fall
Me:" Uhm I, didn't wanna tell you'll coz you respect him so, much and end of the day he is your father he has been nothing but good you guys but to me he was nothing but a sperm donor, so yeah"
I stay quiet and look at them, Thamsanqa has his fists clutched up, he's so mad I can tell but he doesn't wanna talk, I, look at Mandla, he's staring at me, I think he's trying to read me, what if he thinks I'm lying? I walk away to my room, close my door, I don't lock but just sit on my bedroom floor and just look at myself at the mirror that was in front of me, after some time my brothers come in my room, they lock my door then they just sit next to me and look at me through the mirror. I do nothing but end up crying in their arms, I am damaged. Shit