In moments like these, Yaxi's self-destructive tendencies always surfaced.
Her voice came out mechanical, detached. "You're right. Both you and Chen Ling adore Xu Xiaoyi. I couldn't stand her, so I took my revenge."
If Lu Ziyang—the oblivious fool—was determined to drag her down into hell, then she would pull him along with her. Let the three of them unravel in this tangled web of lies and misplaced affections. They all knew he harbored feelings for Xu Xiaoyi, yet none dared speak the truth. Were they playing house?
Then Chen Ling spoke, his voice calm yet deliberate.
"Lu Ziyang, don't lose your temper. No one openly retaliates like that—it was probably an accident." His words carried kindness, but they served merely as a prelude to the judgment that followed.
"If Yaxi harbors feelings for me, then I apologize sincerely. My heart belongs solely to Xu Xiaoyi; I cannot reciprocate. But if you still feel any shred of guilt, join us at the infirmary."
With that, he carried Xu Xiaoyi away, Lu Ziyang trailing closely behind, shielding her head and fussing over her condition.
Whispers rippled through the crowd.
"Who is that girl? Isn't that Yaxi—the gloomy one?"
"No one in our class likes her, do they?"
"Yeah, I heard her father went to prison. He tried to latch onto a wealthy woman, but she ended up scamming him. Hilarious."
"Wasn't she the one who cheated on last year's exam?"
"No, that wasn't her. Was she the thief?"
"She looks so disheveled. Ugly. Haha."
"I've never seen her face clearly enough to judge."
The rumors rolled off Yaxi's back. She accepted them silently, never defending herself. Her mother had taught her that fighting back only invited greater danger. Her father had drilled into her head that no one would ever love a girl like her.
She remembered the day Lu Ziyang moved his desk next to hers, erasing the line she had drawn between them and placing a bag of chocolate candies on her desk as a peace offering.
"Don't listen to what others say about you. From what I can tell, you're upright and kind-hearted. How about letting me copy your homework? Helping others is noble, isn't it?"
It didn't matter. These fleeting connections were never built to last. His brief act of kindness had been enough. The past couldn't be rewritten, and the future was already set in motion. A new desk mate awaited.
Yaxi skipped school again. She buried herself under the covers, emerging only to eat when hunger gnawed at her stomach before retreating back to bed. Her body ached with exhaustion, plagued by nightmares. In her dreams, her mother's expression twisted cruelly, her accusing finger mirroring Lu Ziyang's earlier gesture.
"If I had given birth to a sweet, pretty daughter, I would have come back."
"No one will ever love you."
The next morning, she woke up burning with fever.
Her homeroom teacher's call likely reached either her mother or her aunt. Her phone buzzed incessantly until she finally turned it off.
The address she provided to the school was fake. She couldn't bear the thought of anyone seeing her dilapidated home.
The rented apartment, barely forty square meters, offered little privacy. If her father hadn't gone to prison, she might still be lying awake at night, forced to listen to her parents' intimate moments even after turning twelve.
During the summer of her third year of middle school, her cousin gifted her a scrapbooking kit. Intrigued, she began creating short videos and managed to earn a modest income from it. She had continued ever since.
Otherwise, surviving on the meager five hundred yuan her aunt lent her each month would have left her starving long ago.
How many days had passed since she last attended school?
Swallowing her medication with a gulp of water, she lay back down.
Her dream shifted once more. This time, Chen Ling stood as a deity, solemn and majestic. She knelt before him, trembling under his judgment.
"I shouldn't have walked you home. I shouldn't have helped you."
Startled awake, Yaxi sobbed uncontrollably, hating herself for erasing her own identity, clinging desperately to the illusion of being cherished, and placing all her hopes on the unattainable figure of Chen Ling.
For days, she drifted in and out of consciousness, tormented by relentless nightmares. When her fever finally broke one crisp morning, it felt as though she had emerged from the underworld. Relief washed over her, and she resolved that in a few more days, she might muster the courage—or perhaps the shamelessness—to return to school.
Loneliness gnawed at her soul, driving her to open a live stream while working on her scrapbook. As she pasted a whale onto the page, tears dripped onto the paper, bleeding into delicate watercolor patterns. Choking back emotion, she murmured into the microphone, "I want to see a brighter world."
To her astonishment, the chat exploded with supportive messages.
"You're still young—the world is vast!"
"What's wrong, sis? Your videos are so warm and healing."
"I'm different from the commenter above—I not only love your videos, but I also admire you."
Of course, insults mingled among the praise. Some accused her of being mentally unstable, urging her to stop streaming altogether. Yet somehow, perhaps driven by sheer willpower, Yaxi's eyes filtered out the negativity, focusing only on the warmth radiating from the kind comments.
They gave her courage.
Then, a virtual gift appeared—a luxury cruise ship sent by her fan group moderator, whose profile picture featured a white kitten.
A private message soon followed.
The tone was gentle, likely from a wealthy older sister: "Sweetie, consider seeing a psychologist. Professional help could make a world of difference. If money's an issue, let me know—I have more than I'll ever need."
In that moment, Yaxi realized that Chen Ling wasn't the only kind person in the world.
She could still attend classes, study hard, and secure admission to a decent university. She could earn enough money to break free from her toxic family, travel the world, and explore new horizons. She could forget about Chen Ling, forget about everything. After all, she was still young.
And if loneliness became unbearable, she could always adopt a big dog—one that would love her unconditionally.
With newfound resolve, Yaxi opened her windows and doors, stepping outside to breathe fresh air. She headed to the supermarket, intending to buy milk.
No, she thought suddenly. Neither Chen Ling nor Xu Xiaoyi needed it anymore, and neither did she.
As she rounded the corner of the milk aisle, she nearly collided with two approaching figures.
Classmates. Quickly pulling her hat lower and tightening her mask, she counted silently.
One… two… three.
She passed them unnoticed.
But their conversation sent chills down her spine.
"It seems the company scandal is confirmed. My dad said Chen Ling's father has already been arrested."
"Ah, is Chen Ling still coming to school?"
"Who knows? The news said he's adopted. His mom apparently took the younger sibling abroad. He wasn't here yesterday—he was probably at the police station giving a statement."
"So he's been abandoned here? Poor guy."
"Yeah, and Xu Xiaoyi broke up with him too. He'll probably transfer schools or take a leave of absence."