I, Chisa, was raised in a jidō yōgo shisetsu (a children's home) in Tokyo. It is a residential care facility for children who cannot live with their parents or guardians due to reasons such as abuse, neglect, financial hardship, or the parents' inability to provide proper care.
These homes accommodate children typically ranging from approximately 2 to 18 years old, offering them shelter, education, and support services.
While residing in these homes, children attend regular schools and engage in everyday activities similar to their peers.
In Japanese children's homes, the care and upbringing of children are entrusted to a team of dedicated professionals. This team typically includes caregivers, social workers, educators, and support staff who collaborate to provide a safe and nurturing environment. These professionals are responsible for attending to the daily needs of the children, offering emotional support, facilitating educational opportunities, and assisting with their overall development.
The number of children residing in a children's home can vary significantly based on factors such as the facility's size, location, and available resources. There are 30 children in this facility—me being one of them.
Unfortunately, I faced discrimination—not only from the children living with me in this children's home, but also from the professionals working there, and even in school.
Despite the fact that I tried my best to make friends and to be likeable, it was never appreciated nor reciprocated.
I was often made fun of for my dark skin, curly hair, and red lips... Even though I looked exotic, especially with my golden eyes—'the Eyes of Wonder'. According to Western and African standards, I would've been considered very pretty.
There was a rumor going around that my parents abandoned me at a children's home because I was born with dark skin, instead of light skin.
"Chisa has been abandoned because she has dark skin!" the kids at the children's home said, bullying me. "Her parents didn't want to take care of someone dirty!"
They all laughed... and it greatly upset me, to the point that fights broke out regularly.
"What did you just say?!" I retorted.
I fought with boys and girls alike, and often beat them up. This caused me to always get in trouble with the grown-ups taking care of us.
"Chisa!" they shouted. "What did we tell you?! You cannot hit them! You should treat them as if they're your siblings! All of you were abandoned by society, and therefore, you only have each other! So get along already!"
These grown-ups never scolded the other kids. They never urged them to stop bullying me. They never gave them warnings. It was always my fault.
It was obvious—the grown-ups weren't any different either. They were also racist against me. I once even overheard them speculate the reason for my abandonment...
"That dark-skinned girl... Chisa..." one of them began. "Her mother must've been a Japanese woman who had an affair or a fling with an American foreigner. And out of shame and embarrassment, and the negligence of the American, she must've put Chisa at a baby hatch. The poor woman..."
I couldn't believe they were sympathizing with my hypothetical mother—and not with me. I deserved sympathy. I was the one who got abandoned.
"But her mother must be an absolute idiot," one of them replied. "She should've known better than to expect this."
"I guess that's true..."
Everyone in the children's home hated me. Every day was absolute hell. I couldn't argue or fight back any longer. The grown-ups threatened to call the police, saying they'd put me in youth detention or a mental facility.
So... I decided to take the insults, the kicks, and punches. The kids enjoyed abusing me. They got a kick out of it, since I could no longer protest.
At elementary school and middle school—same story. They all hated me, bullied me, alienated me. Spoke to me in English, even though Japanese was the only language I knew at the time...
I didn't perform well at school as a result. It wasn't that I wasn't intelligent. Due to the constant negligence from teachers and counselors, I was just never given the opportunity to reach my true potential in academics.
I only excelled in sports. I was gifted with a great physique and natural athleticism—which also led to the boys fetishizing me... I felt disgusted. Humiliated...
Every night, I cried myself to sleep, wishing my mother—whoever she was—hadn't given birth to me...
Many times, I considered ending my life. But I haven't gone that far. At least not yet.
I was once walking back to the children's home from school when I was 15 years old, and everyone on the streets was totally mesmerized by the sight of Princess Honoka and her two daughters—Princess Kaguya, who was around my age, and the younger Princess Himiko.
It must be nice... being a Princess. All that honor, admiration, and respect you receive. And especially having a mother and a father who look after you. I could never imagine having that myself.
Princess Honoka's eyes met mine, and she was, for some reason, completely stunned to see me. She also seemed melancholic, relieved, and somewhat happy. At that time, I couldn't understand why.
But later, I came to learn the reason behind it...