I wake up in a hospital and look around, spotting other children in beds around me and nurses flitting around performing tests. I try to remember what happened, and fire fills my vision, I close my eyes and open them to the hospital once more. I then notice a man in black walking towards me, Kiritsugu, who I remember seeing smile at me for being alive.
He stops in front of me and nervously looks at me before asking me if I would like to be adopted by him or be put into the foster system, I take a moment to think and point at him. I know that going into the foster system will end up with me as a battery for Gilgamesh. He asks me for my name and I try to remember what it was when it comes to me, Shirou ----------- I tell him my name is Shirou. He smiles and lets me in on a secret of his, he's a magus, a wizard, that's so cool.
After that the adoption process is quickly lined up and he becomes Shirou Emiya. I then experience my memories like a movie, showing every moment together with my dad Kiritsugu, even when he failed to make food and I learned to cook, finding a passion of mine, all up until that night. The night where he tells me how he wished to be a hero of justice when he was younger but became disillusioned by it and couldn't as an adult anymore.
I saw his sadness and let him know in excitement that if he couldn't become a hero of justice, then I would for him instead. Before I could finish, my father laughed he made a face like he didn't even need to hear the rest. After breathing in, Emiya Kiritsugu said…"Yeah ---- I'm relieved." He quietly closed his eyes and ended his life. I saw this and cherished it, deepening my resolve to be a hero especially if it meant others could be relieved like he was. Yeah, he's I'm going to be------a---------h-e----------f---------jjjjjjjj-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
EMIYA ~faith / denial~ - eleison (CODE ZTS LABEL) starts playing
I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body, and fire is my heart
I have forged countless blades
Unaware of loss
Unshackled by regret
Withstood pain to craft my legend
But yet, those hands shall shape my destiny
I have no regrets, my path is clear,
Unlimited Blade Works
The world opens and Shirou stands there in a landscape of rust and gloom, gears hang in the sky and continue to move. The air is acrid and dusty, the sky is dark, and there is no hope to be found in such a depressing landscape. As Shirou walks forward he stumbles, before a hand bursts from his chest, and then another, before a whole body emerges and I yell "I WILL NOT LET YOU CONSUME ME!!!!!!!!"
As I fall onto the ground, the landscape starts to change, what was once a dark sky is now clear blue and illuminated by sunshine. The once acrid and dusty air is fresh and invigorating, there are no gears to be found and lush greenery is the ground. Avalon sits beautifully in front of me and the weapons around me look brand new instead of rusty.
I get up and look behind me to see Shirou Emiya smiling at me in happiness, before he too disappears with the old landscape. I almost thought I was done for when he kept overlapping me in his memories, thankfully I held strong to my individualism which is what I needed in the end. I'm never doing something like that again, it's way too scary and I'll probably get nightmares from the experience.
I sigh, calming myself down and then closing my eyes, opening them up to the shed ceiling and no swords in sight. Looks like UBW did not go bananas during that entire trip, although, just in case let me check my circuits. I activate my circuits and find them to be running somewhat smoother, hmm, looks like accepting myself has some benefits.
I project some knives and barely feel any energy leave me as they appear. I'm surprised, that used to take minimal effort and now it takes none. I project the guns and am once more surprised to find that it now takes minimal amounts of energy instead of what it used to.
Seeing this, I'm not so regretful for absorbing Shirou Emiya, since my talents took a boost and my efficiency with tracing mundane items has become like breathing. I open the shed door to see that it's night time again, perfect, I can go back to my nightly activities.
This time, I'll hold back instead of going all out like last time. To make sure that it's consistent, I make a Geas to myself that I'll only use 50% of my ability from now on and 100% when I say the words "Trace, on". For those of you confused, think of it as like a binding vow similar to Nanami's, except there are consequences to failing one.
I test it out, by activating my circuits and then saying "Trace, on", which doesn't do anything. Bummer, I thought that was how Geis worked, oh well even if it doesn't I can always use self-hypnosis to do just that and that's what I'm going to do right now. I take a look at my activated circuits and perform a simple spell that will halve their effectiveness unless I say "Trace on". I perform this spell with great meaning and intent behind my words so that the self-hypnotization will have more effect.
I complete the spell, finish my self-hypnosis, and deactivate my circuits. I will now test the spells effectiveness by first activating my circuits, and noting how they run less smoothly and feel less energetic. I then say "Trace on" and note how my circuits start running a lot smoother and with greater magical energy than before, to the point that it feels like a notable boost in power. I'm just so awesome at this stuff that it's hard not to feel satisfied.
With that out of the way, I walk to the front door when a bout of exhaustion fills me and I just feel sleepy. Looks like the absorption took more out of me than I thought, oh well, I do need a good rest before school tomorrow. I walk tiredly to my room and all but collapse on the futon, which hurts because it's on the floor and sleepy.
I wake up to the alarm ringing and get up for the day, reminding myself to use Kiritsugu's funds and buy a bed before getting ready in my school uniform and going into the kitchen to make food. As I'm cutting the vegetables I hear a knock on the door and go to it, opening it to find Sakura on the other side. I let her in and tell her to set the plates and when she passes by me to do just that, I see a bruise on her neck.
I freeze, not in indecision, but in anger because unlike Shirou Emiya who saw it and did nothing, I'm not friends with that rapist Shinji Matou. I don't tell Sakura that I noticed the bruise and just continue on with making food while I strike conversation with her about school assignments and stuff like that. I hear the door open once more as I finish making the food and hear Taiga enter the house and seat herself at the table, giggling like a loon.
As I bring the food to the table and place it, I notice that the stickers for the sauces are misplaced, heh, she thinks she's so sneaky, well I won't give her the satisfaction of a prank well done. I eat my food and purposefully use the mislabeled sauces but do not react when I consume them with my rice. I notice that while I eat, Taiga loses her smile and pouts as she sees no reaction from me.
I inwardly smirk and strike conversation with her and enter a teasing back and forth while Sakura giggles to the side. After the food is done, I set the dishes in the sink and get ready to head out, letting Sakura know we can do the dishes later. We all leave and head to school, once we arrive I separate from Sakura and head to my class where I meet Issei and spend some time having a friendly chat with him.
We stop once taiga arrives and starts teaching us english for the day, I can't help but smile seeing this, I sure did miss human interaction because of my fear. I made a promise to myself then, to never let fear hold me back from experiencing things, because there's only one life and it's only worth living when you don't let anything hold you back.