Hey guys, author here.
I've been receiving a few comments letting me know that the dialogue has been stale and the relationships don't feel fleshed out or explained enough. For that I'd like to apologize, this is my first story, which isn't an excuse, but a reason why the story doesn't feel as satisfying to read and has mainly been in the MC's POV. You may not be surprised to know this, but I had no plan when it came to writing this story, I was just bored and didn't have my phone so I decided, fuck it, let me write something.
The inspiration for this story were the numerous fanfics that had Shirou Emiya as the MC, but it was either a harem, super OP, shenanigans, young MC, and other things. These stories always had Shirou presented as weak and in need of outside elements to gain strength, they also started after the fire and would spend a good chunk of the story on relationships and not really plot, which left me frustrated.
I know that might be hypocritical of me to say since I've been spending 10 chapters detailing the time span of two years in which he only prepares and interacts with the people around him. I just wanted to be different, make a story where Shirou doesn't need true magic, a system, or different origin and element to be strong. That's why I gave him an extra 13 D-rank circuits from the transmigration soul and not an additional origin and element. I wanted to really master his talent in simple magecraft and turn it into something deadly.
I apologize, I'm rambling, what I'm here to do is ask for advice on how to better write this story and its future. I would like to ask you all for advice on how to write better dialogue, expand on relationships, and make the story more interesting without going overboard. If you had videos I could watch or papers I can read, even chapter or paragraph comments would be much appreciated.
Now when it comes to the future of the story, I would like you to let me know what you prefer, I'm hovering between 3 decisions right now:
First, I have the MC go on a training trip like Bruce Wayne and train in the mountains with monks for a year so he's as physically strong as he needs to be, so that he can perform feats his CG self finds easy. He would also save Sakura after this and notice something peculiar with the grail.
Second, to fuck canon in the ass and save Sakura from Zouken Matou and his horrid strings. What this would entail is letting everyone know he's the Steel-eyed Raven and that he's a magus to Rin and Sakura. This would also entail Shirou buying a forge, making a blade, transplanting circuits, and the difficulty of writing good dialogue that's true to the characters. First encounter with Kotomine is made.
Third, continue writing side stories, all of which are canon to the story and would help explain events that were glossed over in the past. For example, Shirou's stint in Madripoor, vigilante justice in Fuyuki, police and public response to the killings, magus response, etc. This would also include side stories that detail Shirou being summoned into grail wars as the Saber or Assassin class servant that I'm building him to be.
There you have it, the 3 things I'm struggling to choose and write, and the help I need to make this a better reading experience for you all, I would like to thank you for reading this, and thank anyone who responded with advice to help me get better.