Chapter 9
I had followed Charles deep into the woods by early evening. We were well beyond anything I had ever explored, and I was beginning to get nervous butterflies in my stomach. What if Charles wasn't actually the kind of man every guy would be crazy not to want? What if underneath the surface, he was actually just as dangerous as other shifters could potentially be? There was no knowing. Despite the fact that I desperately needed to believe him, what if he'd brought me home and gotten me pregnant on purpose? Maybe he was tired of being alone and just needed someone to be with? A family he could keep through force?
But when we stopped and Charles turned his gentle face to me and smiled reassuringly, I felt foolish and guilty for questioning Charles's intentions. Even if it was true that you never knew what kind of person you were with, it still seemed ridiculous that I would be questioning myself with such strange questions regarding Charles. It was probably the hormones, I knew. I had not had any reason to doubt Charles's motivations. Still, something too good to be true, like this fantastic, masculine, sexy man, usually was. Or had a catch. Possibly the only catch here was that he got me pregnant and my life would never be the same again. That was not something that I would have to regret too much.
Charles had set up camp right beside a stream. We could view a little waterfall flowing into the stream from where we were. On the other side of the stream, the scenery was breathtaking. You could see for miles, and I was amazed at how beautiful the place was.
"How did you come across this place?" I asked.
I was walking around one day and I said that I would love to live near this area. But I said if I built a house here, it would ruin the integrity of the place. So I built my house a few miles away right where you've noticed it.
"It must not take you very long to get here when you're in your wolf form," I said thoughtfully. It was strange to believe that Charles was more than just the typical man. And yet, nothing else could possibly be the truth. He was exceptional in every way, so it made perfect sense that he would also have something incredible and supernatural about his personality.
"No, I can run long distances when I am shape-shifting. I'm pretty fast, if I do say so myself. Most people assume that a silver wolf would have a problem with being able to keep up, but the truth of the matter is that I am able to use my experience and my intelligence to go even farther than most people would imagine possible for me."
"Wow," I exclaimed, wondering what Charles would resemble as a wolf. I wanted to ask, but I didn't wish to appear offensive. One thing that the wolf shifters were constantly complaining about was the way ordinary humans were constantly pestering them to prove their capability. It was something that made them feel like they were destined to be exhibitionists and not human beings with their own lives. It wasn't a freak show for normal humans. It was just the thing that gave them happiness and the God-gifted talent that they could use.
Charles smiled up at me, and I watched as the wheels turned in his head. But I had no idea what the man might be thinking. Soon enough, however, he was standing before me, the same sensuous smile on his face.
"I bet I know something that you're too afraid to ask me," he said. My heart pounded. It was as if this man was not just handsome but also psychic. Or maybe it was his wolf senses being able to detect what kind of things I might be thinking. Or maybe it was his age, which had given him the wisdom to be able to know exactly how other people's minds might think. Either way, he was intuitive and perceptive, and it made me excited and nervous at the same time. What else is he capable of doing?
"Oh yeah?" I replied, trying to play coy. "What would that be?"
"I bet you're just dying to see me in wolf form, but you're trying to be all politically correct so you don't offend me or some crap.". Honest to God, half of the younger generation are a bunch of wimps. They need something to complain about. There are real issues out there, but people questioning and being curious isn't one of them. If we could just get along, then half the issues they're bringing up wouldn't be out there. But they're the ones who spread the negativity. I have no idea what they are thinking."
"Well, it's the truth, most people if they don't know something and they're asking you a question, they're asking maliciously or to hurt you. And you're right, I am dying to see you as a wolf. I saw when we were. Well anyway, I saw that you have wolf tattoos on your back. Is that what you look like?"
Charles smiled and looked down.
"Why don't I just show you what I look like? I read that would make you happier than just guessing that I look a little like one of the tattoos in my body art."
"Did you create those yourself?" I asked. I was trying carefully not to broach the topic of Charles actually changing for me. Though I was curious, I was also a little scared. I did not mind waiting to see the appearance of the man as a wolf. I had never felt very comfortable with wolves or dogs because I had been bitten as a child. I still bore the scar on my arm. I did not want Charles to think I was afraid of him. I knew the wolves could scent fear.
But the fear was just of dogs in general. "Actually, yeah. In my spare time, I do tattoos. I like to draw and figure things out. I've had to tattoo most of the shifter's MC actually; they just love my work.". They find it raw and primitive and it reminds them for them what it's all about being a wolf shifter. Some of the younger generation shifters have come to me asking for tattoos, but they don't have the pack mentality, so I've refused to give them any. That's half the reason that guy who was chasing you, Williams, was so upset with the two of us. He's wanted a tattoo forever, one of mine, but since I refuse to give it to him, he's had to resort to going to some random human to have it done. It gets under his skin. Especially because they know I'm right when I said they're screwing up what we're trying to fight for.
And everybody knows I don't bite my tongue." "That's very brave of you," I said, smiling sheepishly. I had always looked up to the kind of people who had the courage to say what they felt without caring what other people would think. Charles was clearly that kind of man, and I felt privileged to be in a situation where I was able to speak with him and hold his interest for so long. I understood that most of the time, people who were only concerned with their own values were not concerned with other individuals if they did not seem to share them.
I didn't know what Charles saw in me, but I was glad that there was something.
"It's not brave," Charles said, chuckling. "It's what a man should do. He should say what he believes and believe what he says. He should discover what he believes in and where he comes from and discover how he can carry on the traditions of the past that allowed him to be who he is today. It's not all that difficult if you ask me."
"I guess I never thought of it that way," I said, looking down at the floor, a little embarrassed.
"Well, happy to teach you," Charles said with a chuckle.
"I've had to keep my real self in the closet for a long time. My family would never have accepted it if I were gay.". I wasn't courageous enough to be myself until I had done all the ways they thought I should be. I moved to the city where nobody knew who I was and where my family couldn't find me, and I got that job with my cousin. By the time I could actually afford that condo with my ex, I thought it was okay to be honest. But it was still hard. It's hard to say it, but my whole life has been a lie so far. Being with you.this," I swept my hand down to my bulging belly. "This is the only thing that has ever felt real."
I caught my breath, not wanting to have revealed so much. It would be odd to explain to Charles how I was feeling. But, having seen the man once, I had had a certain feeling of wanting to make use of my time with him. And I had even felt strange having had simultaneously the sensation of feeling safe and secure in the man's company. Those were things that under normal conditions, I would go to great lengths to hide. But Charles seemed to have the look of requiring utter frankness. Of the kind which people generally weren't capable of allowing themselves to ever acknowledge. And if they did, they would have to hold their breath and wish for the best.
"Fine, I'm glad to hear that, Lyon," Charles answered, grinning at me. He got up and began taking items out of the backpack. I sat and observed while he began to unpack, then busied himself quickly re-starting the fire in order to make supper. Having done that, he started pitching the tents. I sat and observed, getting up once from my seat to see what I could do. But Charles wouldn't have it.
You sit down and let me take care of this. I don't want anything to occur to you since I wasn't a gentleman. If you're gonna get my pup, I might as well make you at ease, okay? Now for real, just sit back and let me show you how it's done.". You don't seem like the type of individual who camped much as a kid, and you're going to need to have all the advice you can if that's what you're doing.
I went back to the table. Although I was embarrassed that Charles was right, I was also impressed by the consideration and the offer to guide me from Charles. He did not make me feel foolish for not understanding things. He explained them kindly and patiently until I got the idea correctly. Other people usually put me down if I was not quite the way they imagined I should be, but Charles was not one of those. He enjoyed me for exactly the way that I was. Every second I had with the man was more intense and powerful than the last one. How had I never met anyone so amazing before? I had been depriving myself.
Finally, after camp had been set up, Charles sat down beside me.
"Are you hungry?"
"Not yet," I said. I had been feeling rather queasy in fact, especially after admitting to Charles that my entire life was a lie and that the only thing I'd ever told the truth about was what I'd felt during my brief time with Charles.
"Are you alright?"
"I ought to say I'm afraid of dogs," I blurted.
There was a pause, and then Charles burst out laughing.
"Well, I don't want to be heartless," Charles said, wiping a tear from his eye. "But as a parent of a dog, that's going to be pretty hard on you."
"I know," I said sullenly. Charles laughed again, a low rumbling laugh that was starting to make me embarrassed all over again.
"What's funny?".
"It's not funny. It just amuses me, though, that you're actually going to be out here in the woods with a wolf shifter and carrying my pup when you're afraid of dogs. We're more dog than dog, you understand. We're wolves. I guess you're in the wrong place, kid."
Charles rapped me on the back and stood.
"It's not like that. I mean, I can still see them. I just wanted to let you know that if I get scared, it's not because I don't trust you. That's all."
I looked down at the ground, my cheeks burning with embarrassment and sadness. Charles looked surprised by the news and raised his eyebrows. He took me by the shoulders and hugged me warmly.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or something. I just think it's funny when people are scared of dogs. We're the most loyal and nicest animals on the planet if you don't treat us badly. It's just that there are so many people in the world who treat us badly. You know what I mean."
"Yes, I know. The one who attacked me likely had been abused by someone somewhere along the way. It just scared me a little, that's all. I can still be a parent. I mean, I think so. All of this is so strange and confusing. I'm not really sure what I'm doing."
"Well, don't worry about that. I'm going to be with you every step of the way, okay?"
Charles smiled down at me, and I could feel myself letting go.
"Okay," I said.