Dokja stood in silence, his thoughts swirling with uncertainty. The Oldest Dream's words lingered heavily on his heart, casting a shadow of doubt over his next steps. Despite his deep-rooted desire to remain in this world, a sense of guilt gnawed at him. Oldest Dream put up a strong face, but it was obvious how much the other missed being with his family. He wanted to say that staying in this world would be showing his resolve to honor the Oldest Dream's sacrifice and embrace his role in this world, and that he would vow to live this life for the Oldest Dream. But Dokja knew that he was only doing it for himself. He had everything to gain from staying in this world, too much to gain for someone that was just supposed to be a substitute. He'd already been selfish in monopolizing this world to himself for so long. Was it really okay to keep doing so?
" You deserve happiness in your life"
… Ugh. Why the hell did he care anymore? So what if he was selfish? So what if he bandaged his guilt with Oldest Dream's earnest wishes? This world, it was the story that he built with his own hands, it was no longer "The Survival for the Crown." Yes, he would go on for Oldest Dream, but most of all he would go on for himself and the life growing inside him.
The universe had taken its time ripping and picking at his soul until there was almost nothing left, faded hopes for a better life bleeding out of his worn body. This was his chance to finally tear away from its cruel grasp and seize his happy ending.
And maybe if he fought hard enough for his happy ending, he wouldn't be selfish for choosing it.
"Kim Dokja!" Dokja's reverie was abruptly interrupted by the sound of his name being called. Frantic steps and the rustling of plants followed from the direction of the voice.
Startled, he turned around and found himself locking eyes with Joonghyuk, who stood before him with his eyes wide and eyebrows knitted together in concern. Sweat shined on his temple and his chest heaved up and down from exertion. Dokja had been guided through the forest by Biyoo, but with no one to show him the way Joonghyuk must have been running through the trees the entire time searching for him. Dokja winced slightly at the realization, regretting his sudden departure.
"Yoo Joonghy—" Dokja's words were cut short as Joonghyuk rushed towards him, enveloping him in a tight embrace. The sudden embrace caught Dokja off guard, his voice trailing off as he was pulled into the warmth of Joonghyuk's arms. The man nuzzled his nose into the crook of Dokja's shoulder, inhaling deeply.
With their chests pressed so tightly together, Dokja could feel how rapidly Joonghyuk's heart was beating, a testament to his panic.
He slowly brought his hands up Joonghyuk's body, one hand resting on Joonghyuk's back and the other gently cradling his head. Feeling Dokja's fingers card through his hair, Joonghyuk pulled him in tighter, letting his body relax ever so slightly. Silence enveloped them as they lingered in each other's space.
After a moment, Joonghyuk began pulling away from the hug, his heartbeat returning to normal. Though rather than stepping away completely, he opted instead to rest his forehead against Dokja's. Their eyes met in a shared look of understanding and Joonghyuk's voice broke the silence, firmly grabbing Dokja's shoulders.
"Please, I'll beg you if I must, please don't do that ever again, You don't have any idea how worried I was. If I was even a second late… I don't know what I would've done with myself."
Joonghyuk's grip tightened on Dokja's shoulders just thinking of it.
"Yes, I know, I was being foolish and I'm sorry. I should've just talked it out with you... and I'm sorry for hiding… my pregnancy. I never wanted to keep it from you, I was just scar—" His words were cut off as Joonghyuk interjected,
"I know, my star... I know," Joonghyuk's voice carried a gentle reassurance as his eyes shimmered with a golden glow. A soft smile graced his lips as he continued, "But it's not the right time to talk about that. I know you're tired from everything that happened." In a tender gesture, Joonghyuk removed his coat and draped it over Dokja's shoulders.
Dokja expressed his gratitude with an appreciative smile, though it dimmed a bit as Dokja's thoughts turned to his family, about how worried they must be getting. "I think it's time to go home," he voiced quietly.
"Indeed, though the duchess will have some words prepared for you when you return," Joonghyuk warned, though he tried to be lighthearted about it. Dokja responded with a soft hum of acknowledgement before he prepared to walk away. However, Joonghyuk surprised him by swiftly lifting him up into his arms, catching Dokja off guard.
"Joonghyuk-ah!"
"What?" Joonghyuk responded, genuine confusion lighting up his face as he met Dokja's dumbfounded gaze. "There's no way I'm letting you walk with how tired you are now, it wouldn't be good for our child," he declared. With resolve in his voice, Joonghyuk began walking, taking the lead as he carried Dokja in his arms. Dokja, resigned to Joonghyuk's insistence, let out a sigh, acknowledging the futility of protesting when faced with Joonghyuk's instruction.
------
Secretive Plotter sat in silence, a wine glass in hand, as he sensed the approaching footsteps before hearing them draw closer. Without needing to turn around, he recognized the familiar presence behind him.
"You're back."
"Of course, I am!" Arms snaked their way around his neck as a soft kiss landed on his cheekv. Oldest Dream's adoring smile entered his vision.
"Do you miss me?" the Oldest Dream asked playfully.
Secretive Plotter stared at the Oldest Dream before pulling him closer by the waist, their bodies drawn together.
"Of course, it would be impossible for me to not miss my dearest star," Secretive Plotter whispered, his words filled with a longing that transcended the boundaries of their shared existence.
The Oldest Dream smile softened into something more sincere as he placed a hand on Secretive Plotter's hair.
"What happened in the mortal world?"
"Why do you ask when I know that you're watching me?" the Oldest Dream continued to ruffle Secretive Plotter's hair. His action messed up the smooth waves of the other deity's hair, some part sticking up at odd angles. Later on, when Secret Plotter looked at himself in the mirror and found his hair to be looking like he'd stepped through a hurricane, he wouldn't find it in himself to care.
"But still, I want to hear it from your mouth," Secretive Plotter insisted, the barest hint of a pout in his voice.
Oldest Dream's insides clenched at how adorable the man in front of him was. If he had even less self-control, he would've smooshed Secretive Plotter's cheeks and made a bigger mess of his hair. But alas, he was better than that (barely). With a soft hum, he began to recount the events that transpired in the mortal world.
"Well, we talked and everything seemed to smooth over, but Kim Dokja feels burdened by guilt... he feels like an outsider." Despite his knowledge of Dokja's past and inner turmoil, the Oldest Dream found it challenging to fully comprehend Dokja's thoughts. They may have been the same person, but there were a myriad of differences between them. They were but two sides of the same coin.
"I thought knowing his past would be enough for me to get through to him, but…" the Oldest Dream mused, reflecting on their conversation. "I really hope he stays..."
Secretive Plotter gazed at the Oldest Dream, his mind drifting back to the time when the Oldest Dream was still Kim Dokja, their first encounter etched vividly in his memory as if it had happened just yesterday.
Secretive Plotter found himself immersed in the mortal world, walking through the forest with three mystical creatures by his side on a day he'd dedicated to visiting them.
As they strolled through the lush surroundings, the tranquility was interrupted by Popo's sudden exclamation. "Popo!" The unexpected outburst caused Secretive Plotter and the other creatures to turn their attention towards them, only to find it was accompanied by a young child clutching their ears.
Popo's distress was palpable as the child continued to pull on his ears, prompting Secretive Plotter to observe the unfolding scene with a mix of surprise and concern etched on his face.
In a moment of desperation, Popo pushed the child away in an attempt to free himself, inadvertently causing the child to stumble and fall to the ground with a pained cry. The sight of a wound on the child's knee widened Popo's eyes in shock as he exclaimed, "Popo!" Regret filled Popo's expression as he tried to apologize, only to realize that the child wouldn't be able to understand his words.
In the midst of Popo's panic, Secretive Plotter took charge of the situation, letting out a sigh as he gently lifted the child into his arms, the child looking up at him with wide, curious eyes. Secretive Plotter posed a question.
"What's your name?"
The child tilted his head inquisitively, "Shouldn't you be the one to say your name first? You should say your name and then ask for mine!"
The child's innocent question caught Secretive Plotter off guard, prompting an amused huff to escape his lips.
"You're right, excuse my crass manners. My name is Secretive Plotter, may I ask for yours?"
"That's too long! Your parents stink at names!"
".....just call me SP then..."
"Alright, Mr. SP..."
"Now then, what's your name, little one?".
The child smiled brightly and proudly declared, "Kim Dokja... My name is Kim Dokja!"
"Dokja? As in the only child or reader?"
"Reader!"
Secretive Plotter smiled kindly at the child, "What an interesting name..." His gaze then shifted to the bleeding scrape on the child's knee as he inquired, "So, what is our little reader doing in a forest like this?" The rumors about the forest being haunted, as unfounded as they were, should've been enough to keep a small child like this one from wandering into it.
The wonder in the child's eyes gave way to shame, "I was trying to find flowers for my mom... but I got lost…" he hung his head, embarrassed as his own ineptitude.
Secretive Plotter hummed in understanding. "I see, why don't we work together to get you back home, hm? But first, let's take care of your wound first." With a short incantation, the wound on the child's knee vanished as if it had never been there. While he was aware of the need to be discreet when casting spells in front of others, it's not like anyone would believe the child if he said something about this.
The child gazed in wonder at his knee, now devoid of any trace of a wound, before turning his amazed expression towards Secretive Plotter. "Wow, are you a magician, Mr. SP?" Dokja exclaimed, his innocent belief in magic evident in his words, as it was the only explanation he could fathom for the miraculous healing he had just witnessed.
"Something like that... now then, let's go find your mother," Secretive Plotter replied dismissively, picking up Dokja up as he started walking in the direction to exit the forest.
After a bit of walking, Dokja broke the silence. "Mr. SP, those animals... did you make them by using your magic on stuffed animals and teddy bears?" the child inquired innocently, pointing towards the mystical creatures that trailed behind them.
Secretive Plotter cast a sidelong glance at them, who returned his gaze with wide eyes, before responding, "Yes... they are," as he continued walking.
Secretive Plotter recalled the earlier incident between Dokja and Popo, prompting him to ask, "Little Reader... why did you grab Popo's ears?"
The child glanced at Secretive Plotter before shifting his gaze to Popo, who flinched under his scrutiny. Turning back to Secretive Plotter, the child explained, "Because his ears look fluffy and cool."
Stifling a chuckle at the simplistic answer, Secretive Plotter nodded along "Well, I can't deny that..." As they walked towards the edge of the forest, they heard a commotion in the distance. They could hear Kim Dokja's name being called out by various voices. Secretive Plotter gently placed the child on the ground and crouched down to the child's level.
"Well, I can only guide you this far. Just follow the sounds of the voices, and I'm sure your family will find you," before patting the child's head in reassurance.
A toothy smile lit up the child's face, "Alright!" He turned to walk away but then pivoted back, expressing his gratitude, "Thank you, Mr. SP and teddy bears!" With a final glance, he faced the distant voices and began to follow them, leaving Secretive Plotter and the mystical creatures behind.
As soon as the child's silhouette disappeared into the forest's edge, a soft chuckle escaped from Secretive Plotter's lips as he turned toward his companions.
"Now then, how can I thank my 'teddy bears' for helping me escort the child out?"
With a pout, Biyoo rammed her body into his cheek in retaliation, though it just felt like a cotton ball was thrown at his face.
"Ba-at, Ba-at!" [We aren't teddy bears though!]
"Sure, sure, Biyoo"
"Ba-at!" [But it's true!]
As Secretive Plotter grinned at her, he overheard the voices in the distance.
"You made me worried, my dear!" It was from who he presumed to be the mother's child. Her voice was followed by the child's reassurances. "Don't worry mom, I'm okay... Mr. SP and his teddy bears helped me find my way back!"
"What are you talking about? Oh no… this forest must be making you hallucinate things. Let's go home now, you need food and rest." A few other voices could be heard fussing over the child as they moved away, the voices fading.
That was the start of Dokja's many adventures into the forest. He made a habit of visiting to see the mysterious man and creatures that saved him, despite his parents' insistence he stay away. Though his visits were few and far between, the child having to sneak away from his family to go, as he got older and gained more freedom his visits were more consistent.
Over that span of time though, the bond between Dokja and the mystical creatures endured and strengthened, spending countless hours together. Despite Dokja's inability to understand the creatures' language, the happiness they shared transcended words.
Secretive Plotter, now a silent observer of their interactions, couldn't help but notice the growing attachment between Dokja and the creatures.
As Dokja kept on maturing, the fondness Secretive Plotter had felt for him had grown into something…more. But even if it was a boundary he yearned to cross, he knew he shouldn't. For a long time, his adoration for Dokja remained unspoken and distant, knowing the inevitable outcome of their diverging paths. However, when he sensed Dokja reciprocating his feelings, he couldn't resist embracing him and expressing his love. Secretive Plotter entertained the notion that Dokja might desire to become a deity like him, but Dokja's heartfelt refusal shattered it.
"I can't... I have to be here for my family... I'm sorry."
A bittersweet smile was all Secretive Plotter to give in response. It was just as expected for the Kim Dokja he loved to not be able to leave his family, not even for the possibility of godhood. Their bond remained a secret from the world, hidden in the shadows of time. As Dokja reached the age of 28, facing inquiries about his marital status, or lack thereof, he simply replied, "I'm still not ready," keeping the truth of his heart and his connection with Secretive Plotter concealed from prying eyes.
Dokja turned 29 when disaster struck. A group laid siege to the Underworld Duchy, attacking the manor presumably to claim their power. Despite their best attempts to defend themselves, most members of the duchy died in the attack. Dokja was just barely able to escape into the forest, but his wounds were deep, and he was bleeding out at a rapid rate. Unable to run any longer he collapsed on the forest floor, his vision fading in and out.
Between blinks, he looked up to see the blurry outline of Secretive Plotter kneeling down to him, panic etched all over his face. His body was lifted into an embrace. Secretive Plotter held him tightly, his heart heavy with despair. Despite his efforts to heal Dokja's injuries with spells, nothing seemed to work, leaving him powerless to do anything but watch his love slowly die out.
"Why is it not working?" Secretive Plotter's voice quivered with anxiety as he frantically tried to cast a spell on the wounds, each attempt met with failure. The weight of despair pressed heavily on his heart, causing his entire body to tremble uncontrollably. Clutching Dokja's pale and bloodied form, he felt helplessness as he witnessed the severity of the injuries and the blood loss taking its toll on Dokja.
"Plotter..." Dokja's voice was barely a whisper as he reached out, his hand tenderly cupping the man's cheek. "Maybe this is my time..." he spoke softly, a weak smile playing on his lips. The fragility of that smile struck a chord deep within Secretive Plotter, causing his heart to plummet with a sense of profound loss. In that fleeting moment, the weight of impending farewell hung heavy in the air, as they both grappled with the harsh reality of what was happening in front of him.
"No... No! I won't let you!" Secretive Plotter's voice rang out in a desperate yell as he continued to try and heal him. Overwhelming anguish washed over him, the tears in his eyes threatened to spill over. This was the first time he had allowed himself to fall in love, and the cruel twist of fate left him questioning the reasons behind such a heart-wrenching separation. "You said that you'd stay by my side, so why leave me now?" he questioned, his voice cracking under the weight of emotions that consumed him in that moment.
Dokja offered a helpless smile as he spoke, "It seems the universe has a different plan for me." Secretive Plotter let out a harsh breath, tears streaming down his cheeks, struggling to contain his emotions. "Don't cry," Dokja continued, his tone soothing, "Maybe I'll be reincarnated, and we can be together again." A hopeful smile graced his lips as he posed the question, "Would you wait for me?"
Without a moment's hesitation, Secretive Plotter replied, "Yes, of course I will... I'd wait for all of eternity if there was even a chance to see you again."
"Haah, I'm glad…" Dokja's voice was impossibly faint, the light fading from his eyes rapidly.
Knowing Dokja's time was running out, Secretive Plotter leaned down to press their lips together briefly. It was more of a farewell than a kiss, both savoring the fleeting moment of connection.
"No matter what, how, where I meet you again... I will always love you in every universe." With his eyes closing and his body growing cold, Secretive Plotter watched in silence, engulfed by loss. With a heavy heart, he held Dokja close, cherishing the memory of their love as the warmth faded from his body.
Secretive Plotter followed Dokja's words and waited for his reincarnation, entire lifetimes passing by until he sensed the reader's soul finally gaining another physical form. But all that waiting had been in vain. The cycle repeated itself as Dokja faced another untimely death just before turning 29. Driven by grief and determination, Secretive Plotter resorted to rewinding time, attempting to alter fate.
The mystical creatures bore witness to his actions, remembering each iteration as they encountered him once more. The beginning was almost always the same, the trio of mystical creatures and SP reuniting with a young Kim Dokja. But something always had to go wrong. Despite Secretive Plotter's relentless efforts to safeguard Dokja, his demise was written in stone. He rewinded time repeatedly, yet each effort ended in failure, each 1,863 attempts.
Having embraced Dokja's lifeless form for the 1863rd time, Secretive Plotter felt numbing anguish wash over him. Puzzled by the relentless cycle of loss, a sudden light illuminated the space, revealing a message that materialized before him.
[Stop this]
Recognizing the unmistakable authority behind the message, Secretive Plotter understood that it came from the highest deity, the deity of deities. Knowing that such divine beings could not manifest in mortal form, any communication would appear as floating words, guiding him with cryptic messages.
[Do you still not understand? You need to comprehend the implications of all your actions. It's time to accept reality.]
[Mortals and Deities will never intertwine.]
His efforts to defy the natural order and bridge the insurmountable gap between mortals and deities were a mere exercise in futility.
[Every action has consequences. Each time you bring him back to life, he will only endure more suffering,]
The final message delivered a fatal blow to Secretive Plotter's heart:
[You wonder why your spell always fails, why you can never save him? It is the consequence of loving a mortal. If you truly love him, leave him be.]
"…"
"Just one more time... I will try."
Dokja had awakened a profound and unfamiliar feeling within him - a love that proved impossible to suppress, no matter how hard he tried. Even in the face of the highest deities, he longed for a way to be with him. So he devised a loophole, a plan.
A replica.
The bittersweet happiness consumed Secretive Plotter as he witnessed Dokja falling in love with the replica he had created. But just as the higher deities had warned, it only ended in more tragedy, this time caused directly by his own actions. It was during this Dokja's life that he watched on in horror, questioning how the man he loved could turn to such depravity for someone who would never return his sentiment. But perhaps he was the depraved one all along, forcing this suffering upon Kim Dokja's soul for countless lifetimes. His selfish emotions ripped Dokja apart from the inside.
Even after all this time, after Oldest Dream regained the memories of his past lives, Secretive Plotter looks back at the deal they made with regret. He lamented the desperation that Dokja had looked at him with, knowing he was the one that caused it. It was because of his selfish emotions that Dokja had to give up his original life. It's during these moments, when Secretive Plotter reminisces about the past and stews in his mistakes, that Oldest Dream will always come to comfort him.
Tender kisses are given freely and in excess, the both of them sharing the memories of how their love unfolded before them, and the path that had led them to this point. No detail was ignored, the two deities giving each other the strength to confront the good and the bad.
"Love? Love?!" Secretive Plotter's reverie was abruptly interrupted as Oldest Dream's voice pierced through his thoughts. Startled back to reality, he refocused his attention on OD, who had just spoken to him. "Are you listening to me?" Oldest Dream inquired.
"Of course, my love"
OD raised an eyebrow at him, "Really? What did I just say?"
"..."
"See! you aren't listening!"
With an apologetic look, Secretive Plotter welcomed Oldest Dream onto his lap, wrapping him in a warm embrace. "Alright, I'm sorry... I will listen now," he promised OD. In the face of OD's lingering pout, Secretive Plotter sighed and inquired, "What happened in that book you're reading again?" It worked like a charm, as always. Any mention of stories was sure to brighten OD's mood. The sourness from OD's expression cleared up as he readied himself to go into a rant.
"Well, you see the main character..."
-------
Footsteps echoed off the walls of a dark cave, the sound traversing down almost endlessly deeper into the depths. The tail of a long cloak dragged against the ground, effectively hiding the figure donning it in shadow. As he journeyed deeper, a glimmer of light beckoned him onward. Suddenly, a voice called out to him, a strange creature having caught sight of him.
"Who are you!" The dokkaebi's outcry drew the attention of numerous creatures of the same type occupying the cave. Unfazed, the lone figure remained silent, provoking the dokkaebi's anger. "I asked, who are you!" it bellowed, motioning the rest of their group to brandish their swords, their blades pointed in the stranger's direction.
Once more, the stranger chose silence, merely putting down their hood in lieu of a verbal response.
"It's Bihyung!" exclaimed one of the creatures,
"The fucking traitor?!"
"How dare he come crawling back?!"
"What are you doing here, you traitor!" a dokkaebi shouted. Their whole group was brimming with outrage at just the sight of him. They were just barely holding themselves back from lashing out and attacking.
Bihyung chose not to respond to their questions, instead asking one of his own.
"Where is the Leader?" His expression and demeanor were inscrutable, leaving his true intentions shrouded in mystery.
"You have no right to see the Leader, you traitor!"
"If you won't take me to him then I'll find him myself. I'll ask one more time: where is he?" Bihyung reiterated.
"You—!"
"I'm here," a voice announced, drawing the attention of all present towards the speaker. The dokkaebi leader emerged, commanding respect with their presence, the others bowed in deference. In contrast, Bihyung maintained a steady gaze as the leader approached him. "I'm surprised that you still have the audacity to return, Bihyung," the dokkaebi leader sneered, saying the other's name with disgust, as if it left a bad taste in its mouth.
"Rest assured, I have no intention of returning to be one of you," Bihyung replied with a sigh.
The dokkaebi leader snickered. "Who said we would want you back here again?" he retorted, his voice dripping with menace. "After you killed one of our own and defied the orders of our empress?! Do you truly believe we would welcome you back?"
"Our empress? Ha! You've been deluded and manipulated. A woman who climbed her way from being a mistress to the new empress?" Bihyung scoffed, his laughter filled with scorn. "Let me remind you, that woman willingly sold her own son to the devil, and after you've served your purpose, she'll throw you away just the same."
"Silence! You have no right to speak ill of Her Majesty!" Bihyung couldn't help but smirk. It was evident that their loyalty to her transcended common sense. The group who he'd once respected was reduced to nothing more than a mindless cult.
"You dare to violate your banishment and come back to insult us, do you?!" The dokkaebi leader's voice rang out, commanding the others to prepare for attack as they menacingly approached Bihyung. "Kill him," the dokkaebi leader ordered with finality.
"Not so fast," Bihyung declared icily as he unleashed a spell that rendered the dokkaebi immobile, halting their advance. With a steely gaze, he held them in place, their attempts to counter with spells futile. "No matter what you try, your spells will not harm me," Bihyung asserted, casting a dominating presence over the incapacitated creatures.
"What have you done?!" The dokkaebi leader bellowed.
"That's information you don't need," Bihyung stated as he approached the Dokkaebi leader, extending his hand. "Now, pay heed to my words," he commanded, casting a spell that entranced everyone present, his eyes glowing all the while. "Henceforth, you will heed only my commands. Not even the empress will sway your loyalty. Do you understand?" Bihyung's voice carried a cold authority, ending the spell with a pulse of magic before the surroundings fell silent. Subsequently, every individual knelt before him, including the once-defiant dokkaebi leader.
"Yes, we pledge our allegiance to you, My Lord," the former Dokkaebi leader declared, echoed by the others in unison. Bihyung's lips curled into a devilish smile at their submission. "What is your next command, My Lord?"
"...Under my command, we shall destroy the Seoul Empire."