"No, please. Please I'm sorry, no no NO!"
I open my eyes with a start as I suck in a sharp breath. It was just a dream. And I am not on my bed. I am sure I tucked myself into bed last night. However, I do not wake up on my bed. I wake up on the staircase landing. I sigh and starve up, my body hurts and I wonder just how long I have been here.
I started sleep walking when I was 8 years old. It has been 13 years now. I spent my childhood up to the moment I got married with my parents in their villa that sat on 10 acres of beautiful land. I did not see that place as home. It was a plantation house or used to be before my father tore down the original structure and replaced it with his dream house.
I did not think it was nice that he did that after I read about the history of that place. I thought that house should not have been destroyed, it should not even have been sold to us, we did not deserve to be on that land but my father always had his ways. Ways I did not approve of when I got to know about them.
In my younger years, I would sleepwalk and wake up in random spots on the property. In the pool house, which made them put a lock on it, my mother's garden, the greenhouse, on the stairs, and one time on the balcony.
I tried so hard to stop especially when it almost got one of our maids killed. The night before was my father's birthday and there was a party. There were still people hanging out in the pool house till well after midnight and she went to sleep forgetting to lock the pool house and I was found by my mother at the edge of the pool the morning after. My father hit her hard with his pistol and knocked out three of her teeth.
Him not killing her took a lot of pleading from me and agreeing to this sham of a marriage. I threw my life away because I did not want another's blood on my conscience. She was a nice lady working with us because the pay was good and she wanted to be able to provide for her three kids. She did not even quit afterwards. I don't know if it was by force or by choice. My father might have let her stay so that he'll always have a leverage on me.
After that incident, I started taking my medication religiously and my sleep walking episodes became fewer and far between.
It got worse when I got married to Levi. One morning, the first time he saw me in that state, he was not aware of my condition and he saw me sleeping at the foot of the stairs, he got ice, put it in a bucket, added water and let the ice melt a bit before pouring it on me. I was wearing a silk nightgown. I was not even aware that it was see through until I was wet. The dress stuck to my body and showed everything underneath. I was naked under that dress and my ass, vagina and nipples that were now sharp enough to cut glass were all on display.
It was a cold morning already and Levi made me stand there, shivering and shaking in front of the entire staff while he had breakfast. He said, "Enjoy the attention since that's what you were craving so badly that you decided to spend the night at the foot of the stairs so that all that pass can look."
In between my shaking and teeth chattering with tears in my eyes, I managed to say, "I'm sorry, I sleep walk."
He did not hear me the first time and shouted at me to repeat what I said. I repeated it a bit more coherently. He did not do anything till he finished his breakfast and then he dispersed the staff and made Janet bring me a blanket. I took the blanket from her and went on shaky legs to my room. The moment I closed the door behind me, I crumpled on the ground and started to rethink my life choices and if the life I was saving was actually worth losing my own life for.
Before the end of that day, the entire staff was changed and only Janet was retained. I was thankful for that. I appreciated the familiar face even though she barely spoke to me.
I entered my room and did my morning routine. I wanted to apply makeup to cover up the bruise but I decided against it. Everyone in the house knows what happened yesterday so there is really no point in trying to cover it up.
I go downstairs to get breakfast and I hear a familiar voice giving instructions to the staff. I roll my eyes and touch my head surprised by the headache I got out of the blue. I straighten my posture and slapp on my signature smile as I come into view.
Her Dior perfume is sucking up the entire oxygen in the room and making it difficult to breathe in fresh air. Standing in the middle of my living room at 5 foot 6 inches in heels, eyes that look a tad bit too large for her face, a cute button nose and a skin tone that rivals mayonnaise is my sister in law, Lauren Anniston.
"Hey Lauren" I say cheerily as I go in for a hug and the traditional kisses on both cheeks.
"I didn't know you were coming." I take her hand and lead her to one of the large sofas.
"Yes, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I should say hi to my favorite sister in law." Lauren says, all smiles.
"I'm your only sister in law Lauren." I reply with a little laugh.
She does not respond but she is staring at my face. At the bruise that I decided not to cover up. Maybe I should have worn makeup.
"Did he do this to you?" She asks turning my face this way that way so she can properly assess the damage.
"It's nothing." I say removing my face from her hand.
She looks concerned. I am just not sure if it is genuine. I'm not sure about anything when it comes to this family.
"He really shouldn't be doing this. But please he's trying to change. Trust me, I know it, he is better now. He has been since he got married to you." She held one of my hands in both of hers as she tried to plead his case.
Better my ass. Nothing she says can be trusted. I know she also reports back to her brother. They all do. Everything with them is performative. Performative concern, performative hatred, performative love, performative sympathy, performative support. Every fucking thing. I want to take a knife and cut her tongue out so she can stop taking. She talks too damn much. But instead, I nod and try to look like I was listening to her about giving her brother a chance while maintaining a little smile.
We spend the day eating, watching movies in the home cinema and catching up. She, mostly doing the catching up tells me about her recent travels, parties, boy toy of the week and all sorts. I try to look interested and chime in with the "oohs", "aahs" and "you don't mean its". By the time she left, it was almost midnight and I was exhausted. Who knew putting up an act could be exhausting.
Levi probably decided against coming home because his sister was here. I am not sure why but he is a bit hostile towards her which is surprising because Lauren totally dotes on him. By the time I go upstairs back to my room and do my nightly routine, I am extremely tired and I just sleep.
If only I knew the reason why he didn't come home.