I woke up at about 12pm with 4 hours of sleep. I kept have a nightmare and didn't want to go back to sleep. I had nothing else to do, it was a Saturday so everyone should be up and play games online with me. I called the group chat and slowly everyone began to join one by one. Except for James, I guess he was still asleep so I wouldn't bother him for now. We began to plays games as time quickly crept by, and by the time I was called down for dinner, James still hadn't joined. Weird. I sent him a quick message asking if he wanted to join before going downstairs to eat.
I was sat at the table and I looked at the food. It was nice, don't get me wrong, mum's cooking is always good. It just didn't feel the same as it used to do. Like part of the love she put into the cooking wasn't there. My mum and dad ate slowly as I starred at my food, trying to portion it out so I could eat a good amount before losing my appetite and looking rude. After some time, my mum had finished and my dad sat with me with an empty plate, slowly watching me attempt to eat the food. That's when my dad spoke up.
"You know Aiden, you'll have to go back to school full time some day you know."
"I know, I know." There was no reason for me to argue, he was right. I know I have missed a lot of school work by now, but I just couldn't bring myself to it. I hated people looking at me. "I just don't want to be judged."
"Listen." My dad spoke softly and quietly, "They won't judge you, they'll be frilled to see you again. I know it's hard and I know you've been trying to go to school for a day or two out of the week, but you will have to go back full time at some point."
I sit there in silence, wanting to object, but deep down I knew he only had good intentions for me.
"Tell you what son. You can go and enjoy your computer over the weekend, but when Monday comes, you'll go to school. I want you to try to get through the full day, but if you feel overwhelmed, call mum, and she'll pick you up. But I think that you should spend some time with us, so if you do come home early, as soon as I am back home from work, the three of us will go out and have some family bonding time. Just like old times."
I sat there and thought for a moment, I did miss going out with my whole family and having fun with them so I guess it couldn't hurt. Besides, I get to skip out on school.
I slowly nodded my head as I tried to force a tiny piece of chicken down my throat.
"That's amazing son." He replied. "I'm so proud of you, also if you don't like mum's chicken anymore you can always pick what you want her to make for you."
"It's not that it's bad, I just-"
"Don't worry about it." My dad interrupted. "If you've had enough, I'll finish the plate off for you!"
I nod my head once again in silence as I began to pick myself up off the table.
"Oh dad." I ask "Can you tell mum I love her."
My dad has a faint smile on his face as he nods to me before I scurry off back to my safe space. I close the door behind me as my ears begin to tear up. I had almost forgotten that they didn't hate me, just that we are all going through rough times. But that thought was interrupted by a notification on my phone. It was James.
"Sorry I've not been on, working on this book and got lost in my work. I don't think I'll be hopping on tonight, but maybe tomorrow"
I mean I don't blame him for writing the book, it's just, whose going to be online with me when it gets dead late?
The answer. No one! Everyone began to leave as it began to hit 1am, leaving me alone in the call starring at a screen with me in a now empty lobby. I tried to play the game by myself, but it just wasn't the same as before. I ended up going to bed and hoping tomorrow would be different.
Again. No one was on! James hadn't even messaged this time, I tried calling him and messaging him but I didn't get a response. Not only that, most of my other friends had part time jobs, so it was just me. Alone once again, but this time even earlier. So I put my head down, and fell asleep.