After my first experience as a CCG investigator…Things got serious. Real quick.
A few weeks after that first patrol with Mado and Amon, I killed my first ghoul.
Some scumbag who thought he was slick—probably figured he could score some points by taking out a rookie investigator. I recognized him from earlier that day, too. I saw him near the café I stopped by for lunch. Just lurking.
I should've guessed he was up to something.
Probably planned to tail me, wait for the right moment, jump me in some dark alley, then brag about it to his friends afterward. Classic punk move. Even if he had pulled it off, Anteiku would've probably hunted him down themselves. They don't take too kindly to ghouls who stir up trouble in their ward. Idiot.
He came at me from behind a trash can—crouched there like some mangy alley cat. Thought he had the drop on me.
But there was one thing he didn't count on.
He stank.
Not even exaggerating—he smelled horrible. I don't have some superhuman nose like Tanjiro or anything, but this guy reeked of spoiled meat and rotten garbage. My senses flared before he even made a move.
And then he lunged.
Kagune out, red eyes blazing, screaming something about turning me into a "Meat Cycle."
What the hell even is that?
Anyway, before he could finish his little villain monologue, I swung my quinque and took his head clean off. It was over in a second. Ridiculously easy.
Too easy.
His body hit the ground with a wet thump. Blood sprayed everywhere—on my coat, my hands, my face.
I didn't even have time to process it. The adrenaline wore off in seconds and was replaced by nausea like a punch to the gut.
I dropped my quinque and stumbled to the side, vomiting behind a dumpster.
Mado showed up right after. He didn't say much—just gave me a couple of hard pats on the back, like a coach congratulating a player after a rough game.
"Good kill," he said with that same damn grin.
"But.. Never drop your quinque."
"No matter what happens. No matter how tired you are, no matter how scared. If the enemy stands before you… even if it costs you your arms—your legs—you fight."
He stepped closer, his hand gripping my shoulder.
"You fight, Urie-kun."
I didn't feel good about it. I didn't feel strong.I just felt… hollow.
Ever since that first experience, I've been training myself—learning how to maintain total, constant breathing. Just like in the show. I figured, if I've inherited Yoriichi's abilities, I might as well try to make the most of them. Sometimes I wonder… will I awaken a Slayer Mark too? That would be incredible.
So far, I've only managed to use a few forms. I remember using Clear Blue Sky against Amon—that much is vivid. But beyond that, the rest are a blur. I'll have to work on mastering them later.
Right now, I'm sitting in a stiff, quiet room, surrounded by investigators. We're deep in a meeting—one I've been dreading. The topic? You guessed it. The mother and daughter ghouls.
Great.
We've officially reached that part of the story—the part I looked forward to the least, and ironically, the part I might be able to change the most. But even then... I don't know what I'm supposed to do. On one hand, I could call in sick the day we go after Hinami's mother. I could stay far away and pretend it isn't happening. But would that really change anything? Her fate Would still be the same, no matter what I do.
And then there's Touka. She'll be after all of us, especially after that. I'll have to face her, deal with the fallout, and eventually, I'll be drawn into the final confrontation—me, Kaneki, Touka, Amon... and Mado.
Mado.
He has to die for the story to progress. That's just how it's written.
I get it—he's a villain, at least from the ghouls' perspective. But they don't know him like I do. They don't see the other side of him. The side that brings us lunch after long patrols, who checks in to make sure we're okay, who—despite his obsession with eradicating ghouls—is surprisingly kind when you're not one of them.
It's complicated. He's complicated.
Do I want to let him die?
Do I even have a choice?
"Urie. URIE."
I blink, shaken out of my thoughts. Mado's sharp voice cuts through the silence like a blade. "Are you even here?"
"Ah—yes. Sorry, Mado-san," I say quickly. "I was just... lost in thought."
He nods, a faint frown tugging at the corner of his lips. "It's fine. But try to focus. This is important. We were just reviewing the last known whereabouts of the mother and daughter ghoul."
I nod again, more slowly this time, the weight of the moment settling in my chest like a stone.
"Anyway," Mado said, his voice sharp and clinical as ever, "the last known location of the mother and daughter ghoul was in the western sector of the 20th Ward. We've narrowed their movements and have agents tailing them."
He leaned forward, folding his hands on the table.
"Our targets are Ryouko Fueguchi and her daughter, Hinami Fueguchi. Tomorrow, we'll arrest them under suspicion of being ghouls. Of course, we already know what she is—we killed her husband. Saw her at his grave, burying a mask."
He paused, then straightened his coat with a flick of his hand.
"But that's beside the point. Meeting adjourned."
Chairs scraped against the floor as the investigators began to file out. I followed them quietly, keeping my head low. Just as I reached the doorway, Mado called out to me.
"Rest up, Urie. Tomorrow's a big day."
I turned slightly. He was looking directly at me, his eyes intense—but not unkind.
"It's your first operation. Everything up until now has been patrol work," he continued. "After this… you'll officially be a CCG investigator not a rookie anymore hah."
I gave a small nod and walked out into the corridor, my thoughts spinning.
Am I really okay with this?
I wandered through the building in silence until I reached the hall leading to the training room. Before I could enter, a familiar voice called out from behind me.
"Oh! Urie!"
I turned. "Ah, Ippei-san. How are you?"
He laughed, scratching his cheek. "Aha, I'm good, thank you! And hey, you can drop the -san, really. I'm just a bureau investigator. You're from Head Office.
Never Ippei-san." I offered a small smile. "Even if I am from HQ, you're still my senior by age. That's worth some respect."
"Ha! I see, I see. Very proper of you."
He stepped closer, his voice lowering into something a bit more sincere. "Anyway, Urie—I just wanted to wish you luck on the upcoming operation. It's honestly kind of inspiring. Seeing someone younger than me doing great things out there."
I exhaled quietly through my nose.
This was the guy. Ippei.
Touka kills him after Ryoko dies—after everything goes to hell. He's harmless, cheerful, one of the few genuinely good people here. Maybe… maybe I could save him. But that would mean sticking around for the operation.
Looks like I'll have to be part of it after all.
He kept talking, unaware of the thoughts tearing through my mind.
"I wish I could be a field investigator like you, honestly. You make it look easy."
I shook my head. "Ah, you're flattering me, Ippei-san. Really, it's nothing. Anyone could do it."
"Really? Maybe I'll request a transfer then!" he said with a grin. "I've always wanted to be part of the action. The guys at the office never shut up about how cool Amon-senpai is. He inspires me, you know? Makes me want to be better."
He chuckled, glancing at the floor, then back at me.
"Anyway, look at me rambling. I'll let you get to training."
He gave me a friendly wave and started walking off.
"See you, Urie!"
I watched him go until he rounded the corner.
Part of me wanted to call him back. To tell him not to go. To tell him to leave the CCG now. To get out while he still could.
But I didn't.
I didn't say anything at all