Right. So, recap: I'm in demon school. Accidentally flexed ancient magic in front of hundreds of demons. And now I've got a walking Greek statue with pink hair glaring at me like I ate his lunch.
Spoiler alert: I did not. I just accidentally stole his big moment.
"Iruma Suzuki," Alice said, drawing out my name like it was made of acid. "You have insulted me. I demand satisfaction!"
Oh, yay. We're doing this.
I rubbed the back of my neck. "Look, man, I didn't ask to read the chant. I was just following orders."
He didn't budge.
"You humiliated me. That speech was meant for the top student—me."
Okay. Fair. But also—
"You're mad because I read from a scroll?"
"That's not the point!"
Ah, here we go. Classic pride arc.
Sullivan and Opera were watching from the sidelines like parents at a school play. Opera even had popcorn. Not kidding.
"Very well," I sighed, pulling myself up to my full five-foot-nothing height. "Let's get this over with."
Now, let's be clear.
I'm not a fighter.
I'm a fanboy with an anxiety disorder and barely functional knees.
But I also have one tiny advantage:
I know how Alice fights.
This guy's all about flashy, long-range fire spells. Big booms. Big ego. Real "look how hot I am, literally and figuratively" energy.
So I just need to act cool, dodge a few attacks, and bluff like a pro.
Simple.
Deadly.
Probably stupid.
"Begin!" someone yelled.
BOOM.
Alice didn't waste a second. A wall of fire exploded toward me, hot enough to roast marshmallows and my sanity.
I ducked.
Barely.
"Running already?" Alice called out, smirking.
"I'm strategically relocating," I shot back, diving behind a decorative pillar that immediately disintegrated under another fireball.
Yikes. Okay, no more cover.
Time to improvise.
---
I ran.
Not away—around. Circling him. Making him move, adjust, get annoyed.
Annoyed people make mistakes.
I zigzagged, flipped over a desk (why was there a desk here?), and grabbed a handful of dirt from the courtyard.
He raised his hand for another spell.
I threw the dirt in his face.
Yes, I pulled a Pocket Sand move.
His casting hiccupped.
"W-What the—?!"
I lunged in, grabbed his wrist, and twisted just enough to knock him off balance.
With a flourish I did not know I was capable of, I pivoted and gently slammed him into the ground, just hard enough to pin him.
He blinked up at me in disbelief.
I blinked down at him in equal disbelief.
Did I just win?
Opera whistled from the sidelines. "Elegant finish."
Sullivan was sobbing tears of joy. "He's so cool!"
Alice stared at the sky. "...Impossible."
---
After a solid ten seconds of stunned silence, the crowd erupted into confused applause.
I stood up slowly, brushing imaginary dust off my shoulders. "Uh... good match?"
Alice sat up, looking like someone told him Santa wasn't real. "You… defeated me."
"Technically, I disarmed you. With sand."
He clutched his chest. "Such elegance. Such control."
Wait, what?
"This was not a defeat," he said, eyes sparkling. "This was… fate."
Oh no.
No no no.
He stood, bowed so low his hair brushed the ground, and declared, "From this day forth, allow me to serve you. Iruma-sama."
I blinked.
"Come again?"
"I swear loyalty. You are worthy."
My mouth opened. Closed. Tried again.
"I threw dirt in your eyes."
"And it was divine."
And that's how I accidentally acquired a high-level demon as my personal manservant by beating him in a duel with dirt.
Welcome to Babyls.
---
Later that day, in the principal's office, Sullivan was all sparkles and twinkles. "Didn't I say he was amazing?"
Alice stood beside me like a devoted knight, arms folded, head held high.
"I will protect Iruma-sama with my life."
"Can you not call me that?" I muttered.
"No promises."
Opera was scribbling notes in a book titled Potential Chaos Level: Extremely High.
This school year was going to be… something.
---
A/N: I know the word counts are small but, whenever I try to increase the word count I just mess up so much so instead of quality I'm trying to give you the quality but, I'll try to increase the word counts