They sat in silence.
Not the comfy, Netflix-on-and-we're-both-too-full-to-move silence, but the "we might die because we didn't pack a damn granola bar" kind of silence.
Ash glanced at the cracked ceiling of the half-busted shack, wondering how the hell the roof hadn't caved in yet.
Beside him, Lana hugged his hoodie tighter, her knees tucked under her chin like some survival-mode anime character who hadn't unlocked her backstory arc yet.
The shack had no bed.
No food. No toilet paper. Not even a suspicious couch with questionable stains — just dust, broken planks, and the general scent of defeat.
"…So," Ash finally said. "We sleeping on the floor or…?"
Lana looked around. "I don't think there's a choice unless you can summon a mattress."
Ash gave a long, dramatic sigh. "If I could, it'd be memory foam. I have standards."
"Do you?" she teased.
"I'm being slandered in the end of the word," he muttered.
Just as he was about to start testing how much neck pain one man could endure by laying on a stack of planks, that same annoying, smooth-ass voice from earlier rang through the air like a demented game show host.
"WELCOME, PARTICIPANTS!" the voice boomed cheerfully. "We hope you're having a SPLENDID time in the Apocalypse so far!"
Ash bolted upright, bumping his head on the window frame. "Goddamn it, again with the Dolby Surround!"
The voice chuckled. "Time for a quick tutorial! Since you're all settling in, let's go over some critical features of your shiny new Systems!"
A glowing screen flickered to life in front of them both.
[New System Features Unlocked:]
[Safezone]
[World Ranking]
[Party]
Ash squinted. "This better not be some Candy Crush crap."
The voice cleared its throat — because apparently, even apocalypse AIs had theatrics.
"Let's start with [Safezone]! This is a special status you can assign to any building you've claimed. Once marked, nobody can enter your Safezone unless you invite them. It's your personal survival bubble!"
Ash blinked. "Wait, so I can just put a flag on this broken shack and it becomes home base?"
"Correct! But here's the twist!" The voice got giddy. "Enter [Safezone Break!] — a feature you can use THREE times per month! If you want someone's cozy shelter, you can force your way in… but ONLY if they're inside. And if you kill them during the break-in," dramatic pause, "you take over the Safezone. Fair and bloody, just how we like it."
Ash turned to Lana. "Well. That escalated fast."
She looked visibly disturbed. "People are going to murder each other just to sleep indoors?"
"Welcome to Real Estate Apocalypse Edition," he muttered. "No mortgage, just murder."
[Safezone feature unlocked. Would you like to mark this building as your Safezone?]
Ash immediately hit yes.
[Congratulations! You have claimed: "Dusty Shack of Despair" as your Safezone.]
"…Please tell me I can rename it."
[Yes. But the System already likes this name.]
He ignored that.
"Next up — [World Rank]!" the voice continued. "This one's spicy. Every participant in the Apocalypse is being tracked. You're ranked by kill count, categorized by species. Humans, Elves, Demons, Beastfolk, Slime hybrids — "
"Wait, Slime hybrids?" Ash said aloud.
" — and more! You can even check the General Ranking, which combines all races! And here's the fun bit: if you make it into the Top 10 of your species by the end of the month, you'll get a big reward. If you make Top 10 overall, a God will personally bless you. Maybe even two."
Ash just stared at the screen. "A God. Like, with a capital G?"
"Kill more, live longer, and maybe get smited a little less. Good luck!"
[Current Rank: Human 118,739 / ???]
[Kills: 1]
He narrowed his eyes. "Wait, that demonspawn counted as one? That thing was like gymbro height and had a face only a mother could love."
Lana looked over his shoulder. "You killed something?"
He shrugged. "It was trying to kill me first. So... yes. Accidentally awesome."
Her expression turned slightly impressed.
"Last but not least! [Party] system!" the voice practically sang. "You can invite people to your party! When they accept, you share XP, get special buffs for teamwork, and can track each other's locations on the map. It's like friendship bracelets, but with swords."
Ash immediately opened the Party tab and turned to Lana. "Wanna party up?"
She looked surprised for a second, then smiled. "Yeah… I'd like that."
[Invite sent to: Lana]
[Lana has joined your party!]
[Buff Gained: +2% Coordination / +1% Luck when near each other]
"Luck?" Ash raised a brow. "Is that like, better loot? Or like, we don't get food poisoning?"
[Neither. You'll just trip 1% less often. Maybe.]
Ash groaned.
With the world mechanics now slightly more understandable (and infinitely more terrifying), they turned their attention back to the problem of food and sleep.
Lana leaned her head against the wall. "So… any plan for food?"