December 1994
Boxing Day was tranquil all around Hogwarts but voices inside Lilith's head were screaming. The screams followed her through the whole night, ever since Hermione left her alone on the balcony. How could she be so foolish, so reckless? Befriending Hermione was one thing but kissing her? She crossed the line she swore to herself she wouldn't. She couldn't bring Hermione into her life. She opened up too much, offered too much and it ended with Hermione crying and her lungs wheezing from the amount of cigarettes she smoked during the night due to stress. She didn't think and now she was paying for it with a loud mind, half-dead lungs and a heavy heart. Suddenly she was grateful for her status as the head of the Farrow family because it kept her busy even during the holidays. Once she put on her business clothes and left the school premises, her mind finally quieted down a little bit.
As she strolled down Diagon Alley, she appreciated the tranquillity the holiday season brought. All shops were closed, the shop owners had time to spend with their families, and the snow was slowly falling, white snowflakes contrasted nicely with the black coat wrapped around her. She finally stopped in front of the building domineering the alley and stomped on her cigarette with a sigh. On reflex, her left hand touched her right forearm, remembering why she was there and her mind finally went silent. It was business time, and as she looked at the pocket watch, she was right on time.
With her head held high and right hand clutched around the strap of her leather bag, she entered the Gringotts Wizarding Bank, confident in her step and with a neutral expression fixed on her face. The goblin at the register glared at her through his glasses, eyeing her ever since she stepped into the foyer.
"Yes?" Lilith kept her composure under his gaze.
"Hello, I have an appointment with Mr Grukrod. Lilith Farrow." she could see his eyebrow rise up a little bit but he merely looked down at the parchment in front of him before nodding and gesturing towards the office behind him. Lilith nodded back in appreciation and took off. She stopped in front of the office of the Head Goblin, knocked and entered after hearing a quiet 'come in'. Grukrod was an old goblin, bald with round glasses sitting on top of his crooked, long nose. When he saw her entering his office, she could see another slight rise of an eyebrow. The thing about Goblins was their work ethic. Contrary to wizards, they didn't believe in holidays, merely saw it as time wasted so she already knew she made the right choice to make an appointment during the Christmas holidays and arrive precisely on time. In the eyes of goblins, it made her look serious.
"Hello Mr Grukrod."
"Miss Farrow." he gestured towards the chair in front of his desk and she sat down, opening her bag and pulling out several parchments.
"I must apologize, I would conduct this meeting sooner but I had previous engagements that couldn't be pushed." she knew she had to offer her apologies first, not act cocky or superior, and speak strictly about business. Goblins didn't appreciate too much sentiment and despised wizards looking down on them. "In the meantime however I managed to write up the list we spoke about in the letters along with the prices." she pushed two parchments towards Grukrod who still eyed her for a moment before picking it up and slowly reading through it. After what felt like an eternity, he nodded, his expression relaxing just a little bit before he put the parchments down.
"It's correct."
"Then I would like to take 12000 Galleons, 568 Sickles and 80 Knuts out of the Farrow family vault and transfer it to Gringotts Wizarding Bank." Grukrod didn't even seem surprised, only pushed another parchment towards Lilith who looked over it. Transfer the contract with the exact number she just told him. She knew it. Goblins were meticulous about the debts owed to them and by making her catalogue and calculate everything he was testing her candor. By the look in his eyes, she passed with flying colours the moment she left her signature on the contract.
"We like your family, Miss Farrow. Do you know why?" he finally spoke more than two words. His voice was raspy, but his tone wasn't a questioning one. It was a rhetorical question Lilith knew she shouldn't answer. "You are the only ones who know who the true owners of Goblin-made objects are."
"It's phenomenal goblin work, Mr Grukrod. How can we own something we could never even dream of making?" she could see a crooked smile making its way to the old goblin's face.
"Your father taught you well. I believe there are some other things on our agenda for today?" Lilith nodded and pushed another parchment towards Grukrod.
"Yes, as you know our family has an agreement with the Gringotts. These are the families signed under my contract, or waiting to be signed. You know their balances and incomes. What are your thoughts?"
The agreement was over five hundred years old, drawn up by the founder of the bank, Gringott, and her predecessor Benedict Simon Farrow. It was an agreement beneficial for both sides. The Farrow family were the landlords of the most influential families in Britain and lent money to half of the British wizarding population. The Gringotts controlled the finances of the British wizarding community. Those two spheres of influence overlapped each other so as to avoid an unnecessary clash, the two signers agreed to meet in the middle. The Gringotts would provide the necessary knowledge to the Farrow family about the potential signers and financial balances of current signers, and in return, the Farrow family would pay 5% of said families' debt to Gringotts as a tax. Simple and transparent.
She watched as Grukrod mumbled something under his breath and wrote pieces of information on the parchment, scratching something and adding something that Lilith couldn't quite see. Finally, after twenty minutes of silence filled only by the scratching of quill and Grukrod's quiet mumbling, he put the quill down and pushed the parchment back towards her. The first thing her attention went to was the scratched-out names. Interesting. Without commenting, she carefully put the parchment back into her bag and pushed the last two parchments toward Grukrod.
"Here's the signed paperwork we spoke about. Is everything ready?" she saw Grukrod scan the papers before nodding and pulling something out of the drawer on his right hand.
"Everything is arranged just like you wanted. This one is for Mr Farrow's vault," he pushed a key with the number 721 towards her. "and this one is for Miss Farrow's vault." he added a key with the number 722. Lilith smiled slightly at the sight of the keys and hid them inside her coat's breast pocket.
"Is that everything, Miss Farrow?" Lilith stood up.
"Yes, that is everything. Pleasure doing business with you, Mr Grukrod." it was a rare sight for a goblin to shake a wizard's or witch's hand but Grukrod shook her hand right when Lilith outstretched it.
"And with you, Miss Farrow." A weight lifted off Lilith's shoulders as she exited the bank. Goblins were always the hardest ones to deal with when it came to business of any kind and if it wasn't for the lessons her father drilled into her mind, she would fail miserably. But she was successful, this time at least, and she didn't have to think about another appointment at Gringotts for at least another few months. But as her mind finally went out of business mode, the voices came back. With one clear thought in mind, she turned on her heels and apparated to Cave Hill. Winter was probably her favourite season there. The blanket of white snow covered the trees and hills, silenced every noise and made everything perfect, fairy-tale-like.
She pulled out another cigarette and lit it, watching the snowfall. She told her sibling she wouldn't be at Hogwarts during the holidays due to a long meeting. It wasn't a lie per se, just overstretched truth. She did have a meeting, yes, but she also wanted the time alone even if her mind was her worst enemy. She needed the time alone without Sebastian's wondering looks, Aveline's hijinks, and Cedric and Fleur's questioning. And without meeting Hermione Granger. Especially without Hermione Granger. She needed the time alone at Cave Hill.
She was always hypnotized by the snow, so much so that she didn't even notice she finished her cigarette. She carefully put it out and made her way inside the mansion. Even though the three siblings left the mansion at the start of September, it was kept in the best condition possible. All thanks to the house-elf whose eyes went wide once she entered the front door.
"Miss Lili?" a soft smile made its way to Lilith's lips.
"Hi Squeaky." she pulled a wrapped present from her bag. "I have something for you." the house-elf's eyes widened even more as she slowly walked toward Lilith.
"Is that for Squeaky?"
"Of course it is. Merry Christmas, Squeaky." she gave the present to Squeaky who looked at it in awe. "Open it." Squeaky carefully unwrapped the present, a huge grin spreading on her face as she finally saw it. Suddenly two tiny hands wrapped themselves around Lilith's torso, squeezing her hard as Squeaky's small body jumped up and down.
"Thank you, Miss Lili. Thank you!" Lilith had to chuckle at house-elf enthusiasm. When she finally released her, Squeaky was carefully holding a rather large glass ball decorated with a carefully painted picture of Hogwarts Castle at night. The witch's heart melted at the look on Squeaky's face. All Farrow siblings knew she how adored glass ornaments and proudly put them on display in her small bedroom. No matter how many she's gathered over the years she loved them all.
"You're welcome, Squeaky."
"Forgive me but what is Miss Lili doing at home? Squeaky thought Miss Lili was staying at school with Master Sebastian and Miss Aveline." she could see Squeaky's confusion.
"Yes, well I thought I could use some quiet time alone. That wouldn't be a problem, Squeaky, right?" the house-elf quickly shook her head.
"Of course not, Miss Lili. Squeaky will make some hot tea and supper, and send it to your study, you must be freezing Miss Lili." Lilith gave her a soft smile. She loved Squeaky, she always knew what she needed without overstepping her boundaries.
"Thank you, Squeaky. That would be lovely." the house-elf gave her a large grin and paddled away toward the kitchen, the ornament still carefully clutched in her tiny hands. Once Squeaky was out of sight, Lilith let out a deep sigh, stripping her coat and untying her shoes, putting them away in their right place before making her way up the stairs. The voices were still screaming inside her mind, clouding it so much that she didn't even know how or where she put her clothes after she stripped out of them, or how she managed to get hot water running to her bath or where she got a bottle of firewhisky but when her the voices finally quieted down, she was laying in a bathtub with a half-empty bottle next to her.
The bathroom was filled with steam coming from the hot water that burned and clawed at her skin turning the pale white into angry red. But she didn't mind it, the physical pain always took her mind off the mental pain. Her mind was finally clearing, at least from the voices, from the voices of her father and her inner self. Even if she was boiling alive and half drunk out of her mind, everything was finally silent, peaceful... so peaceful.
When Lilith woke up, the water was already cold, the steam evaporated from the room and the alcohol level in her blood lowered just enough to keep the voices at bay but making her capable of functioning normally. As she wrapped herself in her comfortable robe and drained the bath, she took the half-empty bottle with her to the study. The tea waiting for her was already cold and the soup too but it wasn't something a simple warming spell couldn't fix. With a wave of a wand, the room was filled with music coming out of a tape player that finally came out of hiding after the years spent under the floorboards in Lilith's room.
Like most Farrows, Alistair Cassius Farrow was a hypocrite. He spent his whole life keeping the old families in line, being tolerant, and just, and supporting the right laws and good principles. Well, at least in the public eye. Lilith was the only one who knew the true face of her father. She knew all about his temper tantrums, his bigotry and intolerance against the muggles. Her siblings were shielded, and she made sure of it, but she still remembered the sound of cassette tape smashing against the ground when her father found it. Muggle music was the decadence of wizarding culture. So playing Bob Dylan in his study... that just brought a smile to Lilith's face as she poured herself another drink. Bob Dylan was probably her favourite musician, the lyrics of his songs spoke to her in a way no other music did, and she couldn't wait to finally see him live in July along with Cedric who purchased the tickets as her Christmas present. Maybe 1995 would be a better year than 1994.
"Per aspera ad astra, father." she whispered as she sipped her drink. "Per aspera as astra."