Let me just set the record straight before anything else:
I didn't mean to eat the goblin.
It crawled into my mouth on its own.
…Okay, maybe that's not exactly what happened. Maybe it tripped into my mouth because I accidentally tackled it at full speed while I was chasing a squirrel who stole my last slime nucleus. Maybe we rolled downhill. Maybe I panicked. Maybe I thought it was a frog.
Look, the point is: I was hungry and emotionally unstable.
[ALERT: SENTIENT BEING DETECTED]
Species: Forest Goblin (Juvenile)Status: ScreamingLocation: Inside your mouth
I'm flailing. The goblin is flailing. My instincts are trying to murder everything, while my human brain is like:"Stop, that's a person!"
But also:"Wait. Are goblins people?!"
The goblin is yelling in Goblinese, which sounds like someone gargling gravel while falling down the stairs.He's got a club the size of a toothbrush and he's whacking my tonsils with it like he's defending a sacred temple.
I spit him out.
Bad decision.
[GOBLIN COMBAT MODE INITIATED]
Aggression Level: Napolean Complex x10Weapon: Stolen twigBattle Cry: EHHYAAAAGGHHHHH!!
"Okay, cool," I mutter internally. "This is fine. Everything's fine."
[Reminder: You are a three-day-old wolf pup.]
THANK YOU SYSTEM VERY HELPFUL.
The goblin leaps at me.
I do a dodge roll that is, honestly, more falling than rolling. He misses, hits a rock, and drops his stick.
We stare at each other.
The wind howls.
My ears twitch.
His nose bleeds.
Then we both lunge.
What follows is less of a fight and more of a gremlin death rave. He kicks me in the eye. I headbutt his ribcage. We tumble through moss and dirt and regret. At one point, I'm pretty sure we both bit each other.
Then—I don't know what comes over me—I activate the Slime Skill.
My body turns a bit squishy mid-bite.
The goblin's arm sinks into my side like Play-Doh. He shrieks. I shriek. It's awkward for everyone.
But suddenly…
He's stuck.
I'm not joking.
[ABSORPTION IN PROGRESS...]
Compatibility: 2%Error Detected: "Goblins are not food"Override?[x] Yes[Warning: You are making terrible life choices.]
CHOMP.
The world goes silent.
For a moment, I think I've done it. I've gained Goblin Strength, Goblin Knowledge, Goblin Sass—
But then the System throws a fit.
[SYSTEM ERROR]
You attempted to consume a sentient being with semi-sapient brainwaves.This is considered an "Ethical Violation" in 94% of civilized galaxies.Penalty: None (because you're a wolf lol)
Bonus:
Partial Skill Absorption:
"Crafty Bastard (Lv.1)" — Slightly improves ability to escape traps, manipulate simple tools, and lie with your eyes.
Passive: "Goblin Gut Instinct" — +5% dodge chance against thrown rocks.
"I EARNED THIS," I bark inside my head, chewing the last of the goblin's mossy cloak like bubblegum. "I don't even feel bad. He attacked me first!"
[He was twelve.]
OKAY NOW I FEEL A LITTLE BAD.
I limp back to the den covered in slime bits, squirrel scratches, and faint traces of goblin regret. The siblings see me and immediately pretend to sleep. Mama gives me a long look like she's considering whether to raise me or bury me.
Fair.
That night, I dream again.
Only this time, I'm not just running through forest fire and blood.
I'm in a cave. Dark. Endless. Voices in a hundred tongues whispering my name. My reflection stares back at me from a pool of black water—
Except it's not me.
It's something worse.
Wider jaws. Twisted limbs. Something ancient and wolf-shaped, but broken like a corrupted save file.
It opens its mouth and says:
[Don't stop.]
And then it lunges.
[YOU HAVE SURVIVED NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE #2]
Next Milestone: 1 moreEvolution Threshold: 100% Approaching...
[Warning: Your next evolution path may contain "Errors."][Please contact technical support.][Just kidding. You're alone.]
I wake up with my face in a pile of bones.
No context. Just… bones.
One of them still has the goblin's hat.
I sniff.
I stare at the rising sun.
And I whisper, "I have no idea what I'm becoming…"
But then I smile.
Because whatever it is?
It bites back.