20+ early chapters on Pátreon.com/Herd99
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The sound of voices buzzed faintly in the background—like static on an old radio Kain couldn't quite bring himself to tune into. He was technically present in the officer's meeting room. Physically, yes. Mentally? Nowhere close.
Captain Smoker stood at the front of the long table, arms crossed, listening to status updates from local officers. Bounty maps lay unfurled across the surface, their edges curling with wear. Pins marked sightings of pirate crews. Names and bounties. Kain barely spared them a glance.
His eyes were half-lidded, chin resting on his arms, slouched so low in his chair that it looked like he might slide off entirely. The ever-present scent of Smoker's cigars mingled with stale coffee and ink. A perfect recipe for zoning out.
Kain's consciousness drifted inward—into that cursed glowing interface that only he could see.
The Shonen System.
With a sigh, he mentally swiped through the menus like a bored employee stuck on an eternal shift.
[Abilities]
The first window opened like a game menu, cheerful music playing in his head—suspiciously upbeat for someone who'd just been publicly body-slammed by a living smoke monster.
He skimmed the list:
- Lazy Dragon's Roar: A powerful energy blast fueled by Kain's reluctance to fight. (Level 1)
- Nap Dash: Temporarily increases speed when fleeing from battle. (Level 2)
- Cynical Barrier: A shield that grows stronger the more Kain doubts its effectiveness. (Level 1)
"Nap Dash," he whispered to himself. "Truly, the technique of champions."
He shook his head slowly, expression halfway between exhaustion and disbelief. "Can't wait for the sequel move—'Procrastination Punch.'"
[Battle Shonen Points – BSP]
Next tab. It displayed a floating number like a guilt-tripping scoreboard:
- Current Balance: 500 BSP
- Earned From:
- Surviving a sparring match with Smoker (barely).
- Accidentally inspiring Tashigi (regrettably).
- Delivering a half-hearted speech about justice (sarcasm included).
He rubbed his face against the sleeve of his uniform. "I told her to stop giving me paperwork. That doesn't count as inspiration."
And did his half asleep mumbling really count as a speech? Good God. Talk about over the top mechanics.
The system disagreed. As always. Nothing was over the top for a Shonen Anime Protagonist.
[Shop]
This was where the real chaos lived. A menu of rewards, each one somehow more ridiculous than the last.
- Free Nap Pass (1 use) – Already claimed. Blessed relief.
- Dramatic Speech Enhancer – "Makes your speeches 50% more inspiring." (200 BSP)
- Protagonist Aura– "Temporarily boosts charisma and makes your hair glow." (300 BSP)
- Emergency Snack Pack – "A bag of donuts that never runs out." (100 BSP)
Kain's eyes lingered on the last item.
"Unlimited donuts..." he murmured. "But there's a catch. There's always a catch. It'll probably trigger a side quest about 'sharing with your nakama.'"
He closed the menu slowly, resting his forehead back on his arms.
[Next Free Protagonist Reward: Unlock at 1,000 BSP]
Current Progress: 500 / 1,000]
"Only 500 more points of ridiculous suffering to go," he muttered. "Lucky me."
No matter how tantalizing the System's offers were, Kain wanted nothing to do with it. You could say he was an Anti-protagonist. A reverse Weeb- the Archenemy of all Shonen Anime fans hoping to one day get hit by a truck, meet a God and be reborn.
If Kain ever met the one responsible for his incarceration in a fictional universe, he'd turn Karen and leave zero stars.
From across the table, someone cleared their throat.
Kain didn't move. Didn't look. Didn't care.
The Shonen System flickered softly in his vision. Waiting. Watching. Judging.
He let out a long, slow sigh. This system wasn't just ridiculous. It was dangerous. Not because of the battles, or the power-ups, or the half-baked abilities.
No.
It was dangerous because it expected too much from him.
Kain barely registered the voices of his fellow Marines as the meeting droned on.
Reports about pirate activity, bounty collections, and patrol assignments blurred into meaningless noise.
The only thing keeping him awake was the dull ache of his own existence—and the fact that the Shonen System refused to let him be.
Just as he started drifting back into blissful ignorance, the system's all-too-familiar chime rang through his mind.
> [System Notification: New Challenge Available!]
Kain inhaled sharply, gripping the edge of the table as if physically bracing for whatever nonsense was coming next.
"Oh, no," he whispered under his breath. "Please let it be something I can do without getting up."
The screen in his mind flickered, revealing the dreaded text:
[Challenge: Form a Bond with a New Ally!]
- Objective: Deepen your friendship with a fellow Marine.
- Reward: 200 BSP.
- Failure Penalty: Randomly burst into song for 24 hours.
Kain's entire body tensed.
He reread it. Then again. And again.
"…Excuse me?" he hissed.
His mind reeled, struggling to process the sheer audacity of this system. Burst into song? For an entire day? Was this some kind of cruel joke? What was he supposed to do—belt out a power ballad in the middle of a pirate raid?
He could already picture it. Smoker mid-fight, swinging his jitte, while Kain uncontrollably launched into a dramatic solo about the struggles of Marine bureaucracy.
No. No, absolutely not.
There had to be a way out of this.
[There is]
- Objective: Deepen your friendship with a fellow Marine
Kain tapped his fingers on the table, considering his options. He wasn't particularly close to anyone in Loguetown, which meant the system was forcing him to socialize.
A fate worse than death.
His gaze flicked toward Tashigi, who stood at attention near Smoker, her posture straight as a sword. Too eager. Too hardworking. Talking to her would probably give him a headache.
The other officers? Most of them avoided him, either out of annoyance or because they'd given up trying to get him to act like a responsible Marine.
Smoker? Hah. No.
Kain exhaled slowly, rubbing his temples. Maybe if he just sat here long enough, the system would forget about the challenge.
Silence stretched in his mind.
Then:
[Failure Penalty Reminder: 24 Hours of Uncontrollable Singing.]
Kain groaned. "I hate this system."
(Flashback: The Day It All Went Wrong)
Kain let his head rest on the table, the past creeping up on him despite his best efforts to avoid it.
It had been a perfectly normal day in a perfectly normal planet. No world-ending catastrophes. No pirate invasions. Just him, walking home, lost in thought as he complained to himself about anime tropes.
He could still hear his own voice, ranting into the void:
"Why does every shonen protagonist have to yell their attacks?"
"Why do friendship speeches magically make people stronger?"
"Why does the final battle always come down to who can scream the loudest?"
He had scoffed, genuinely confused, shaking his head. "It's ridiculous. Who actually lives like that?"
Then, as if the universe had been waiting for him to ask, the sky darkened.
A deep, rumbling voice echoed from above, shaking the ground beneath his feet.
"YOU DARE MOCK THE SACRED WAYS OF SHONEN?!"
Kain had barely managed to look up before a blinding flash of light engulfed him.
Pain. Heat. A strange sense of weightlessness.
And then—
Nothing.
The next thing he knew, he was waking up in the One Piece world, wearing a Marine Trainee uniform, and staring at a glowing interface in his mind.
[Welcome, New Protagonist!]
That was when he knew he was doomed.
(Flashback Ends)
Kain blinked, shaking himself free of the memory. His current reality was somehow worse.
Stuck in a shonen world. Forced to play along with its nonsense. And now? If he didn't find some way to bond with another Marine, he'd be cursed to sing his way through the next 24 hours.
He let out a long, exhausted sigh.
"…I swear, this sadistic system will be the death of me."