> "Daddy~?"
The word hit me like a slap in the face.
No—worse. Like a priest choking on holy water.
I stared at the floating demon child who had just materialized out of black fire and eldritch symbols... and called me Daddy.
"First of all," I said slowly, "No."
She blinked up at me with big crimson eyes. "No what, Daddy?"
"That. Don't call me that."
"But you summoned me!"
Her voice hit a pitch only dogs and warlocks could hear.
"You poured your soul juice into the circle and everything! That makes you my Daddy, duh!"
I dragged a hand down my face.
She was floating lazily now, spinning in midair like she'd never heard of gravity. Her tiny black wings flapped once every few seconds for flair, not function. A literal tail swayed behind her like a cat that was absolutely about to knock something off a table just to watch it fall.
> [Familiar Summoned: Unnamed]
[Name not set. Assign one now?]
[Basic Skills Unlocked.]
The system scrolled up in my vision.
---
[Familiar Status: ???]
Species: Lesser Demon (Kind of)
Combat Type: Unstable Nuke
Skill 1: Hellfire Pinprick – Adorable little fireballs. Surprisingly explode-y.
Skill 2: Void Skip – Teleports wherever she shouldn't be.
Trait: Mana Sponge – She holds more mana than a cathedral.
Oh, we were so cooked.
She zipped across the room without warning—right into my face. "Are we gonna go kill stuff now? Huh? Huh? I'm so bored."
"You were born literally ten seconds ago."
"I've been waiting my whole life!"
She bonked my forehead with her tiny fist. It had zero weight behind it, but the air around it cracked like thunder.
"Stop. Moving."
"Nope."
She started bouncing in midair. "I wanna burn something. Let's burn something! Pleasepleaseplease—can I burn that wall? Just a little?"
A violet flame bloomed above her finger.
I caught her hand mid-cast. "Absolutely not."
She pouted. "But it's a boring wall."
"It's load-bearing."
"What does that mean?"
"That if you blow it up, we die."
"Ohhhh." Pause. "Can I blow up that wall?"
"Kid—"
"I'm not a kid, I'm a demon."
"You're a demon child."
Another pout. This time deadlier. "You don't love me."
Oh for the love of—"I summoned you literally five minutes ago."
"And now I'm your responsibility forever. Yay!"
She hugged my leg like a plush toy that could vaporize a kingdom.
I looked down at the living war crime clinging to me.
And realized something terrifying.
I had no idea how to unsummon her.
---
She was still hugging my leg.
And not like a cute clingy kid either—like a sentient manacle with emotional damage and access to high-tier pyromancy.
"Alright," I said, prying her off. "No more 'Daddy.'"
"But you are my Daddy," she insisted, floating upside down now, dress hanging halfway to hell and horns glinting in the ambient doom-light. "That's what the voice in the fire said."
"What voice in the—no. You know what? Doesn't matter."
She gasped dramatically. "You don't even wanna know my name?"
I paused.
"…you have a name?"
"Of course I do!" She flipped upright and threw her arms wide like she was unveiling a circus act. "It's super cool and terrifying and probably illegal to say out loud in some kingdoms."
I folded my arms. "Try me."
She puffed out her chest proudly. "My name is… Princess Hellknives Bloodsparkle III!"
Silence.
"…No it isn't."
"It could be."
I gave her a flat look.
She floated a little closer, lowering her voice like we were sharing state secrets. "Okay, fine. I don't have one yet. But I could! You should name me!"
"Oh great. Responsibility number two right after 'keep the murder child alive.'"
"I'm not a child," she said again, despite being three feet tall and currently chewing on her own sleeve.
Before I could respond, she zipped across the room and latched onto the crumbling wall like a gremlin.
"Can I burn this one now?" she asked, already charging up another spell.
"No!"
"Okay but what if—hear me out—I only burn the part we don't need?"
"Kid, if you nuke one more wall, I'm putting you in a jar."
She lit up.
"Like a sparkly jar?!"
"…No. A containment jar."
"Oh. Like jail?"
"Yes."
She gasped like I'd just betrayed her deepest trust. "You can't jail your daughter!"
"I absolutely can."
"But I'm cute!"
"You're volatile."
"I'm violently cute."
"Not a compliment!"
---
A beat of silence passed.
She slowly floated back to me, trailing little sparks behind her like a demonic firefly.
"Okay… fine," she muttered, crossing her arms and pouting. "No burning walls. Yet."
Progress? Maybe.
She glanced up at me again.
"…But can I at least burn, like… a pigeon?"
"NO."
---
Eventually, I gave in.
Not to the fire. Not to the wall.
But to her.
Because if I didn't let her burn something, she was going to combust out of sheer boredom and probably set the sky on fire in the process.
So we left the ruin and went hunting.
The forest outside was damp and heavy, cloaked in moonlight and fog. Trees stood like crooked sentinels, gnarled roots crawling over mossy stones. The air buzzed—not with bugs, but with things. Watching. Waiting.
My companion was floating two feet above the ground, spinning slowly like a broken wind-up toy.
"Can I set this tree on fire?"
"No."
"Okay. What about that one?"
"Still no."
She squinted. "What if I accidentally breathe fire and it hits that one?"
"Then I'm putting you back in the summoning circle."
"Rude."
---
It didn't take long to find our first target.
A creature crouched in the underbrush ahead—no taller than my thigh, with mangy grey fur and twitching ears. Its eyes glowed a dull yellow, and its back legs were twice the size they should've been.
It looked like a rabbit someone had stuffed full of rage and caffeine and forgotten to deflate.
The thing spotted us—and bolted.
"Bunny!" she squealed, instantly zipping after it.
"It's not a bunny, it's a—never mind."
She chased it through the trees like a demonic firefly, cackling the entire way. The forest lit up briefly as she launched a burst of violet fire straight into a bush.
BOOM.
Silence.
Then: "I got it!"
I stepped through the smoke to find her holding a smoldering leg.
It twitched.
"Dinner~"
She took a bite.
---
That became the pattern.
We moved through the woods while she floated like a sugar-fueled wasp, incinerating every creepy, fanged, oversized woodland creature that looked at us wrong.
There were more of the rabbit-things—vicious little freaks with gnarled claws and terrible manners.
Then came something bigger.
It looked like a wolf—but the wrong kind. Too long. Too lean. Spines ran down its back, twitching with each breath, and its teeth looked like they'd been stolen from a shark.
It snarled, low and wet.
She landed beside me, eyes gleaming.
"Ooh… Can I keep this one?"
"No."
"Can I cook it?"
"…Fine. Just don't vaporize the meat this time."
She held out a hand.
The wolf charged.
She grinned.
Then everything turned violet.
---
By the time we were done, the forest smelled like charcoal and roasted regret. Bones and ash littered the ground in a loose trail behind us. She looked positively glowing with satisfaction—hair frazzled, cheeks smudged, and tail flicking smugly behind her.
She floated up beside me, clutching a mostly-charred femur.
"Think I'm strong enough to evolve now?"
"Doubt it. You've still got monster guts on your face."
"I'm saving it for later."
"…You're disgusting."
"You're my dad. That means you legally have to accept me."
"I summoned you by accident."
"Doesn't matter. Bonded for life, Daddy~."
I sighed.
And kept walking.
She followed, humming a creepy lullaby and occasionally breathing fire at squirrels.
It was gonna be a long night.