Tsunade VS Orochimaru
Orochimaru made the first move, testing the waters with a casual kunai throw.
Tsunade scoffed at the attack, planning to dodge with some graceful footwork—but the next second, her body didn't quite respond the way she wanted. It felt as though the sky had collapsed on her.
Just now, hearing Orochimaru say he'd wear women's clothing again had excited her a little too much, making her forget she was physically exhausted. She wasn't just tired—her chakra was nearly depleted. In this state, even Tsunade wouldn't be able to take on more than a fresh-out-of-the-academy genin.
Let alone facing Orochimaru.
Even at her peak, fighting Orochimaru wouldn't be an easy win. And now? With her chakra nearly gone, the odds were stacked against her.
She was screwed.
She barely dodged the kunai, and by the time she steadied herself, she was drenched in cold sweat.
But Orochimaru didn't follow up right away. Instead, he just stood there with his usual deadpan expression, silently watching her. No visible emotion, but Tsunade could feel the mockery in his eyes—like a wise man watching a fool struggle.
He's doing this on purpose!
So much for the "surrender and you only lose half" option.
"What's wrong, Tsunade?" Orochimaru asked, holding another kunai. "Just standing there? You're tarnishing the Senju name. If you won't attack, then I will."
Tsunade twitched at his words. That line sounded way too familiar. She remembered saying something similar to Orochimaru a month ago. But what irritated her even more was his choice of attacks—kunai throws weren't exactly his forte. And yet, here he was spamming them.
The only explanation?
He was mocking her.
Or maybe getting revenge.
Tsunade had always thought it was weird that after the "My Snake Sis Can't Be This Cute" mission, Orochimaru hadn't shown any hostility. No retaliation, no strange behavior. She'd even spent several nights on edge, expecting a sneak attack.
But nope. Orochimaru didn't seem to share Jiraiya's taste for ambushes.
She eventually relaxed and let her guard down. But now that this was happening… she had to admit, Orochimaru's patience and scheming were on a whole other level. Nothing like Jiraiya's straightforwardness. The guy had waited all this time for a moment like this.
If Orochimaru had been willing to accept a surrender, Tsunade wouldn't have minded saying, "I admit defeat. You're stronger now."
But that option clearly wasn't on the table. She'd fallen into his trap, and all she could do now was smile bitterly.
She vaguely recalled a line from some over-the-top protagonist: "Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river. Don't bully the young and poor."
Honestly, that felt pretty accurate right now.
Still, even knowing she couldn't win, Tsunade refused to back down.
"Hmph. This isn't a turn-based game. If you've got something, bring it."
The honor of the Senju couldn't be stained…
…especially when surrender wasn't allowed.
Since Tsunade insisted on holding her ground, Orochimaru—who hadn't exactly approached this battle with noble intentions—didn't bother playing the gentleman. The moment she finished her bold declaration, he casually hurled another kunai her way.
With a sharp "whoosh," the kunai struck her square in the chest. Blood sprayed out as Tsunade's expression turned shocked. She hadn't even finished saying "I won't become just a memory…" before she stumbled back, collapsed, and lay motionless on the ground.
What a dramatic performance.
Orochimaru was a little speechless. Still, he approached cautiously. Kneeling beside her, he dipped a finger into the blood on her chest—then licked it.
Not bad. Tasted like the tomato sauce from that diner he frequented.
"This is the Tsunade I know," he said with amusement.
Suddenly energized, Orochimaru stood tall like a statue, his sharp gaze scanning the area.
No traces left behind.
As expected from my rival.
He snorted, then stomped hard on the "Tsunade" lying on the ground. With a puff of smoke, the fake Tsunade vanished, revealing a spiked iron ball underneath. Orochimaru's face twisted in pain.
Ow.
"…"
Even though his face contorted, he didn't make a sound. Tsunade couldn't help but respect that.
There was no doubt—Tsunade really had almost no chakra left. But based on Orochimaru's calculations, she could still use some low-consumption jutsu, like the most basic ones.
Which is exactly what she did.
She used a perfect version of the Body Replacement Technique—so perfect that even Orochimaru hadn't noticed when she'd used it. He'd once been praised by the Third Hokage as a rare genius who appeared once in decades. But in his mind, Tsunade was the real prodigy. A genius among geniuses. She didn't know a lot of jutsu, nor were they particularly high-level. But even the most basic ones, she could wield in shocking ways.
Most people's replacement technique swapped them out the moment they were hit. Tsunade's had faked the whole scene—including the melodramatic fall—and only dispersed after Orochimaru stomped it. The replacement item? A spiked iron ball.
Full marks for execution. But also—what a dirty trick.
Orochimaru couldn't help but reflect. The three of them—Tsunade, Jiraiya, and himself—had been called the "Legendary Sannin," but more informally, they'd been dubbed the "Three Deficiencies of Konoha": Tsunade the morally bankrupt, Jiraiya the pervert, and Orochimaru… what? Lacking love?
He didn't think he fit the label.
Memories ended there. Orochimaru's eyes now turned to the nearby grove.
Even with a Senju's natural recovery, Tsunade couldn't have restored much chakra. And with her stamina running low, there was no way she could've escaped in a flash. That meant she was hiding somewhere close—most likely in that grove, using a Transformation Jutsu.
Tsunade was, in his opinion, a true genius—especially at transformation. Back during the war, even though she was the First Hokage's granddaughter, she'd been sent to the front lines due to the shortage of combat ninja. The battlefield was a hellish place where even seasoned warriors could fall. Once, the team of Tsunade, Orochimaru, and Jiraiya had been caught in one such nightmare scenario.
Their squad leader, a chunin, was killed. But Tsunade, through her brilliant transformation technique, had led the wounded Orochimaru and Jiraiya to safety.
That time, she'd transformed the three of them into…
Well, let's not revisit that trauma.
Some memories are best forgotten.
Anyway, this time, I'm winning, Orochimaru resolved.
Limping from his earlier injury, he headed into the grove.
The vegetation wasn't dense, and sunlight still filtered through the leaves, casting dappled light on the forest floor. It was peaceful—just the sound of rustling leaves, birdsong, and insect chirps. No signs of anyone hiding.
But Orochimaru knew. Tsunade was here.
"Scatter, Wild Serpents!"
He slammed both palms to the ground. In a puff of smoke, countless thick, long snakes burst forth, slithering off in all directions. In mere moments, the grove was filled with them, and the birds and bugs had vanished.
Watching this unfold, Tsunade was silently shocked. Summoning that many snakes at once wasn't easy. Orochimaru had clearly grown stronger recently. A true prodigy indeed.
At the same time, she worried: Orochimaru doesn't like mapo tofu… Surely he hasn't developed a habit of messing with trees?
That's right—Tsunade had transformed into a tree. Blending perfectly into the grove. Before Orochimaru released his snakes, a few birds had even perched on her and… relieved themselves.
Right now, she was enduring the sensation of long, thick snakes crawling over her, while desperately gathering chakra. If she could recover enough, she'd give Orochimaru a beating he'd never forget. Teach him that in the face of overwhelming power, schemes meant nothing.
And watching Orochimaru slowly wander deeper into the forest, she couldn't help but smirk internally.
Just wait, Orochimaru. That week of crossdressing? You're not escaping it.
Tsunade was very confident in the Senju clan's chakra regeneration. If she could stall long enough—and if Orochimaru wasn't hiding some secret move—there was no way he could win. This wasn't a life-or-death duel, after all. Based on their usual strength levels, she was sure of victory.
So she began thinking seriously about what kind of outfit to make him wear.
A pink kimono.
No underwear allowed.
Hmph. Let's see how smug you are then.
In the name of Senju Tsunade, I declare you—K.O.!
(End of Chapter)