Ma's restrictions tightened with each passing day, Pa continued to sneak me to the Arena, and the Pack's whispers of 'An Onyx' got louder.
My sixteenth birthday came and it was quiet just like the others. Ma, like a shadow, pressed more bundles of incense into my open palms, her eyes defeated, as if she waited for the day I'd disappear, just like Ingrid.
My only companion was Lar's letters, which soon stopped coming four months after I clocked eighteen.
"YOU CANNOT LET LAR COME BACK," I overheard one day, waiting for my father to leave the courthouse. "LAR IS THE FUTURE OF THIS PACK!"
It was Queen Frida. Her despair heightened my curiosity and pulled me closer to the door.
"I can't stop him." Alpha Bjorn spoke resignedly, an attribute I could never define him with. "He wants to come back."
"NO," she sniffled. "VIDAR won't let him live if he sets his eyes on him." Sniffles became hysterical sobs. "Tell him I'm on my knees. Tell him I'm begging him not to."
"Hey, you!" A soldier snarled, sending me jolting out of my perfect snooping position. "Don't you have somewhere to be?"
Inwardly annoyed, I smiled sweetly at him. "You'd be here too if your father was a Gamma." Then waltzed off.
It was a risky thing to do, even as a Gamma's daughter. For these days, tension rose high as the news of Alpha King Vidar's intended invasion.
From what I heard, he took the east in a day and the north, which owned the biggest empire, Pack Meteor, in one week, and now he was currently advancing for our Pack.
The people spoke about him with the same terror they did with the demon God Mar.
"He's the offspring of Evil."
"A beast that drinks up the blood of who he slays."
"One look at you and he takes your soul."
I would have kicked it off as just the people blowing things out of proportion, but seeing my father train the soldiers harder than they ever did with that defeated look in his eyes, as if he knew what was coming, made me believe every word.
"Isn't King Vidar like any other Alpha, Pa?" I asked one day at dinner.
Father looked at me, and I could see his face immediately drain of blood, a sharp contrast to my Ma's darkened one. I knew that look. It told me another conversation must be swept under the carpet.
But then Mum, shutting her eyes and pressing her lips together, said under her breath, "Tell her."
I looked from my Ma's face to my dad's. "Tell me what?" I feigned puzzlement, inwardly somersaulting for joy because things were about to be explained for once.
Pa dropped his gaze to the floor, scratching the round bald patch on his head, then sighed and pulled my hand. "Let's go for a walk."
More than grateful, I did. Leaving my mother's sight was a breath of fresh air, and if it was to the garden in our backyard, then heaven couldn't compare.
"I don't want you at the Packhouse tomorrow." Pa broke the silence and my heart.
I turned sharply, for the first time feeling betrayed by him. "Did Ma put you to this?"
"No, no, Ani, no." He placed a hand on my shoulder, stopping our walk. "It's me this time. Everything your mother does she does for your good."
"Oh please," I spat. "She made me a prisoner, expects me to listen without questioning, but never gives me an explanation, but now you're saying she means well?"
"Yes."
I knew Pa loved me, but never as much as he did Ma. It was the way his face lit up when he looked at her, so I never expected him to side with me.
"Why don't you want me to be there?" I yelled. "What are you people keeping from me?"
"Lower your voice, Imani," Pa warned.
"That's all I do, Pa. That's everything I've been doing..."
"IMANI!"
I flinched. Pa never raised his voice at me, no matter what. I think he left that part to Ma. I swallowed, looking at his reddened face.
"I want you on this premises tomorrow." It's not a yell, but his tone is on edge. "You don't want to disobey me."
He was right, not after that.
So the next day, I sat by the closed window, Mum behind me sewing. I listened to the people's murmurs outside. Skollfrost was at a standstill.
When evening came, a loud cheer erupted. Mum ran out of the kitchen and past me. She shoved the window open, her eyes filling, what I maliciously noticed as tears of joy, but then she hugged me, making me dance around the room with her, and the grudge evaporated.
From what I could filter from her giggles, Alpha Vidar had accepted a peace treaty.
She rushed out of the room, and I to the window, looking out into the busy street. There I saw him, just riding past my window.
My breath caught in my throat at the sight of his dark hair in a fade, broad shoulders, and lean body frame.
Although riding a horse, which seemed unusual for an Alpha of his caliber, I could gauge his height, and Goddess, that was painstakingly tall.
Although he rode in a group, he stood out, only his eyes visible yet commanding fear like he owned it.
I gulped hard, feeling the urge to step back and hide. My stomach churned and my fingers shook. The fear was unusual, eating deep into the pit of my stomach.
Alphas.... Those Alphas! My teeth clenched mostly out of disgust at myself. I didn't even know him, so why did I fear him?!
All Alphas, all except Lar.
Lar. Tears pricked my lids. I turned away from the view, unsure if I wanted to look the devil in the eye. I wanted my Lar back.
And yes, Lar came back, on my twentieth birthday.
The Packhouse was filled to the brim, everyone staring ahead and holding their breaths. The crowd at the Packhouse was mostly unmated girls hoping to steal a glimpse of the Alpha's son.
It was choking being among this crowd, the air stuffed with the fumes of different incense.
I was holding a tray of flower petals, waving erratically at my father just beside the King and his Queen, but my father only shook his head at me and looked away. But before he did, I spotted the smile on his face.
"FUTURE KING, LAR HALFDAN," echoed in the compound, and he showed up.
I caught my breath.
"Gods, is that him?" A girl gasped behind me. I didn't blame her.
Who was this rake? This drop-dead, finger-licking... man!
Chiseled jaw, pronounced features, tanned skin, and yup, the defined muscles—
Not the boy I waved bye to six years ago. My hand gripped the petals on my tray, feeling them squish between my fingers.
"Prince Lar! Prince Lar, over here!" the girls wriggled their hands in the air.
"Ladies, ladies," I mocked, grabbing a handful of petals. "No one looks that good and isn't taken."
I threw the petals as he was about to walk past me, over him, his head, my chest swelling with pride.
But then he stopped, looked down at his right shoulder, jaw clenched, picked a petal, then raised his head. "Who threw this?" he thundered, and the room grew silent.
Goosebumps formed on my arm as everyone turned to look at me, giving me space. My mouth went dry, my taste buds turning bitter.
Lar turned to me. "Who?"
It had to be a prank. Haha, already. Everyone so uptight.
Uncertain, I raised my hand. "I did that." I laughed again. "Did you fall from paradise because..."
"Shut up."
His cold command cut through me, freezing my attempt at humor cold. My smile fell, and in its place, my cheeks burned.
"Lar," I whispered, trembling hands touching my chest. "It's Imani." I searched his eyes and whispered again, "Imani."
The crowd around us shifted uncomfortably, their too loud murmurs sounding distant.
Lar walked towards me, eyes flickering over me as if he would devour me if given the chance.
"Imani?" He stopped before me, eyes boring into mine. "It's been six years and you haven't learned some respect? What are you? Stupid?"
My lips parted but soon began to quiver. My eyes filled and the tears trailed down my cheek, dripping into my tray of flowers.
"I—no, I didn't mean—" My words stumbled over each other. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, forgive me..."
But he pointed to the exit and gritted in my face, "Get out."
My eyes went round and there I felt my heart shatter into a million unfixable pieces.
"Are you dumb?" he growled. "Get out of my sight!"
I was trembling now, my lashes slowly dropping to the floor. I turned and, under the watchful gaze of everyone present, tried not to stagger as I moved to the exit.
Lar? Was that—Lar?
"Imani." He called.
I stopped. Rigidly turning, with th
at stupid hope for him to scream into my face that it was a prank. A prank I would never forgive.
But jaws clenched, he said, "And don't come back."