**Keifer's POV**
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I'm going crazy. I don't know how much longer I can endure this.
"Seriously? Are you planning to finish all the liquor in your minibar?"
I didn't bother to look. I knew it was Honey.
"I don't care if I finish this. I can afford more," I said and took a sip from my glass.
This is the only way I can survive what I did. Every hour that I don't get to talk to her, it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I need to go numb.
"Whatever. So apparently, your girlfriend hasn't been coming to school for two days now. And it looks like she still doesn't intend to go today."
I knew this might happen. This is my fault. It seems like she's lost the will to study because of what happened.
Even our classmates have stopped answering my calls. Rory was the first person I tried to call, but he didn't pick up. I did the same to the others, but they all either rejected the call or didn't answer.
Yuri and Ci-N were the only ones who picked up, but they all said the same thing. They kept asking what my problem was. I couldn't answer them, so I just hung up.
"So what's your plan now? Are you going back to London?" Honey asked me. I shook my head. "Not yet."
I'm not yet strong enough.
I haven't even fixed my anger management issue yet. That's what I should be fixing first before anything else.
But with all the problems piling up on me right now, I'm confused about what to prioritize.
"Ugh, Keifer… I'm the one suffering because of what you're doing."
"You don't have to stay here if you can't stand seeing me like this."
She laughed slightly, which made me look at her. She's starting to annoy me.
"You said you'd be strong enough to protect your family and the one you love. But here you are, looking more miserable than your girl," she raised a brow. "…Now tell me how this drunk man in front of me can save his family and loved ones."
I dropped the glass I was holding.
She's right. Sometimes this girl actually makes sense. I thought she was all drama and attitude. How could I possibly fight for and protect Jay-jay and my siblings if I look this miserable?
I chuckled in disbelief. This is exactly why I pushed her away—to fix myself and make sure she's safe. There are things I should be doing instead of just sitting here drinking.
"You actually make sense when you talk, huh?" I said and downed the remaining liquor in the glass.
"We've been together this long and you're only realizing that now?"
I put down the glass and stood up. I faced her and smiled slightly.
"I realized a long time ago that you're brainless."
I immediately walked past her after saying that. I knew she'd get mad and scold me. When I got out of our spot, I immediately looked for a maid.
Most of them were avoiding me. They knew I didn't like having a lot of people around me. What's worse is I don't even know their names. Only the Head Housemaid and the Butler are familiar to me.
I didn't want to keep calling on them because they're both old. They should be resting.
Once I turn 18, I will get full custody of Keiren and Keigan from them so they can finally have their retirement vacation. I named them as beneficiaries in the fake last will I had made to gain custody of my brothers from my monstrous father.
I owe them a lot.
I kept searching until I saw one of the maids vacuuming the carpeted floor.
"Hey…" I called her.
She turned off the vacuum and looked at me.
"Sir?"
"Can I ask you a favor? Prepare me something to eat. I want everything ready after I take a bath."
She nodded. "Yes, Sir. I'll take care of it."
I turned away and walked to my room. I took a bath to wash away the intoxication from my body. I think I've drunk enough to go numb from the pain.
I quickly got dressed afterward. I also grabbed my hoodie. I planned to jog after eating. I considered it my warm-up for the day.
I went to the dining room where the food was already prepared. The maid was pouring juice into a glass when I sat down.
"Please eat, Sir," said the maid.
"Thank you—hmm… what is your name?" I asked.
It only occurred to me now that I didn't know her name.
"Cass Sandra Eugenio. Just choose between Cass or Sandra," she replied with a smile.
I forced a smile. "Sandra will do. Again, thank you for this."
"You're welcome, Sir."
She had this jolly attitude and I couldn't help but remember Jay-jay. I hope I get to see her happy again. Because of what I did, maybe that won't happen anymore.
I chose not to think about it for now. I won't be able to move forward if I keep focusing on 'what ifs.' I have to stop imagining things about our situation. It's clearly not helping my mind catch up.
I forced myself to eat. Honestly, my stomach didn't want to accept the food. This must be the effect of several days of drinking.
After eating, I stood up and put on my hoodie. I also plugged in my headset and slipped my phone into my pocket. I was out of it as I walked outside the house.
I even looked up at the sky. It felt like it had been a long time since I last went out, even though it had only been two days.
I'm getting weirder every day.
I followed through with my plan to jog. I kept running at a slow pace while trying to gather my thoughts. It was working because I was coming up with things to do.
When I arrived at the park, I stopped. I'd gone pretty far from the house. I probably didn't notice because I was deep in thought.
I chose to rest for a while. I sat on a bench. I took out my phone and checked for any messages. There was one from Honey but it wasn't important.
I decided to go back to jogging. I was about to leave when I saw someone wearing an HVIS uniform. My heart beat so fast. I hadn't even seen her face yet, but I already knew who it was.
**Dammit, Jay-jay!**
I badly want to see you, but I'm afraid that once I hold your hand, I won't be able to let go. It feels like all the effort I put into resisting would go to waste.
I haven't even started my plan yet and already everything might fall apart.
I put my headset back on and adjusted my hoodie. I jogged away from the park, pretending not to notice her. Even though, truthfully, my feet didn't want to move.
It didn't take long before I felt someone following me. I already had a clue who it was.
**Don't follow me! Please…**
If she doesn't stop, I might not be able to hold back anymore. Everything will fall apart.
I picked up my pace in a way that wouldn't make it obvious. But she still kept following—or rather, *they* did.
I only realized I was near the house again. I had no choice but to face them. I stopped and caught my breath. I took off my headset and put it in my pocket.
"Next time you follow me, make sure I don't notice you," I said without looking at them.
I didn't hear a response from them. I wanted to leave and keep walking. I didn't want to face her. I was scared.
But if I don't face her now, maybe the next time we meet I won't be able to stop myself.
I slowly turned around and faced them. And that's when I realized how hard it is to stand firm in what I'm doing. The feelings I tried to numb with alcohol softened again the moment I saw her.
"My Jay-jay…"
"What do you want?" I asked them, trying to hold my composure.
"W-wha-…" She began, but I almost ran to hug her. "U-umm… T-ther—."
Here's the passage in a novel format with the same words:
She didn't finish what she was about to say when suddenly, Percy walked in, entering my house without hesitation. My jaw dropped in amusement.
"Hey!" I shouted, following him.
This guy… He had some nerve. Just because we were friends once doesn't mean he had the right to act however he wanted, especially when it came to entering someone's house.
My house, to be specific.
Didn't he think I could sue him for trespassing?
"I-I want to use the restroom!" he replied casually, rushing inside the house.
I stopped in the garage, wiping my face, frustrated with Percy. Why couldn't he just leave his thick face in the grave? Why did he have to carry that around?
I could feel Jay-jay's presence not too far from me. Percy had distracted me, and we didn't finish our conversation.
But now, I didn't plan to finish it either.
I needed to think of another plan. I had to stick to the first one—pushing Jay-jay away from me. It was the only way to protect her from me and my stupid cousin, Clyde.
But after that, I had nothing.
"Once your stepbrother comes out, you should leave," I said calmly, about to walk away.
"Keifer!" She called after me. My knee almost buckled hearing her say my name. "…M-may gusto lang akong malaman."
Why did I feel this way? My instinct screamed for me to stay and listen, but my mind told me to turn and leave.
Without hesitation, I stayed. I didn't even know why. Maybe because I wanted to stare at her a bit longer. Maybe because I missed her so much, I wanted to enjoy the little moment that we had.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I-I want to know…" She took a deep breath. "…sa k-kabila ng ginawa mo. M-minahal mo ba ko?"
FVCK, I do! And not just love—I love you so much.
I wanted to shout that and hug her. I really wanted to, but I couldn't. It would ruin everything I'd started, and I'd be back to square one.
If I did that, I knew she'd find a way to help me, and I couldn't risk putting her in danger.
I laughed bitterly, hating myself. I knew I was about to bring us both more pain. I couldn't stand seeing her hurt, but I had no choice.
She bit her lower lip, and I could see her shaking a little. Maybe she was scared to hear my answer.
I hesitated—should I tell her the truth, or should I lie? What would stop her from asking me again?
"Did you follow me just to ask that?" I forced a laugh, trying to play it off. "I can't believe this."
I shook my head, laughing like a maniac. I didn't know if I was good at acting, but I was doing my best.
"Let me guess… You were expecting that maybe I developed feelings for you while I was fooling you?"
I knew it was a yes. Don't worry, Jay, because you're right. I started having feelings for you without even realizing it. And the next thing I knew, I wasn't fooling you anymore—I was fooling myself.
I kept denying the connection between my feelings and my revenge. I kept convincing myself it wasn't possible, even though it already happened.
I almost laughed at my own stupidity. I looked at Jay-jay, her pain almost breaking me.
"What a damn!" I added, laughing bitterly. "…This is not a TV series or a movie. Falling for you or realizing I love you in the middle of my revenge will never happen." She gasped. I knew I was hurting her deeply.
I was giving her another reason to hate me.
"Wow, I'm so good at acting. I convinced you!" I smiled, still laughing.
I walked slowly toward her, noticing how uncomfortable she seemed.
I'm sorry, Jay-jay. I'm sorry for what I'm about to say and do.
"Just to stop you from hoping, let me make it clear." I stopped in front of her. "…I will never fall for you. You're just a stupid little shit to me, just like your brother, Aries."
Her tears began to fall, and she tried to stop them, but she failed. Seeing her like this… it was breaking me. I wanted to punch myself.
I'd been holding it in too long.
You're a fvcking monster, Keifer.
I couldn't believe I was tolerating this. But I had to keep going.
I smirked at her. "If only you gave in to me during New Year's, you probably would have known the truth earlier. If only you gave yourself to me back then, the plan would have been over." I crossed my arms, looking her over. "…Too bad, half of Section E would've won the bet."
Fvck! I slipped.
I shouldn't have said that. I was just making things worse with our friends. She should go to them once I'm gone. What now?
She looked shocked by what I said. It was clear she still didn't know.
Right—the bet.
I smiled widely.
"Come to think of it… The bet's not over yet." I pulled her in by the waist. "…Why don't we continue what we started last New Year?"
Being this close to her made me want to kiss her. I badly wanted to taste her lips, but not like this.
Every time I kissed her before, I made sure she felt my love for her. But now, she needed to feel the pain.
I held her face. She closed her eyes in pain. "B-bitiwan mo ko," she begged.
Just kill me now.
"I know you want it."
I crashed my lips into hers. It was a deep kiss, one that made her feel disrespected. It was the kind of kiss that showed my dominance. I could feel her tears running down her cheeks.
I wanted to stop, but I couldn't.
Stop me, please…
And she did. It was like she read my thoughts. She pushed me away with all her strength. I was thrown back, but I didn't expect what came next.
She punched my jaw. I immediately felt dizzy, unable to stop myself from falling. Before I could recover, I felt her climb on top of me, punching me again.
She kept punching, her tears never stopping. I deserved every punch.
Keep hitting me if it helps ease your pain. The punches hurt, but I didn't fight back. I let her hit me, blood pouring from my nose and into my mouth. I thought she might crush my face, but then she stopped.
She stopped and looked at me. I could see the pain in her eyes.
I didn't take my eyes off her, even though I saw how much she was breaking inside. I wanted to hold her face, wipe away her tears, apologize, and take back everything I said. I wanted to hug her, never letting her go.
But I couldn't…
I couldn't hold back the lump in my throat. I was breaking, and every thought of our situation made it worse. She needs to get away from me. She needs to be hurt. She needs…
I couldn't hold back my own tears anymore, especially when I saw her staring at me like that. She was making me feel every ounce of pain I was giving her.
You have to do that… I know exactly how you feel.
Suddenly, she moved off me. I slowly sat up. My face was covered in blood and her tears. Now, my own tears mixed with hers.
I wiped my face with my hand. I didn't want her to see me like this. She shouldn't see.
Her eyes—those eyes full of pain—were on me. I could feel it. I was hurting too. I wished I could carry the pain for both of us, but she couldn't know that.
She started to walk away from me but stopped just before the gate.
"Mark my words, even on your forehead and the dog's ass!" she shouted. "Karma will come for you! Damn you!" She sighed heavily. "And when it does, I'll be the first to laugh right in your face!"
She turned and ran.
I wanted to laugh, but there was nothing funny. Karma had come back to me a long time ago. And it was a good kind of karma.
"Jay-jay!" Percy called out. "What did you do, Keifer?"
I looked at him with a warning.
"Protect Jay-jay. If anything happens to her, I will kill you, and I mean it."
He didn't respond, quickly following her. I just hoped Percy would protect her.
I must have been sitting there for minutes, just staring blankly. The events replayed in my head over and over.
I couldn't understand it. Why did this have to happen to us? Why did I have to suffer? Why did I have to hurt her?
Why…
Why couldn't we just be normal students?
I touched my face as the tears began to fall. I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. It was all so hard. I wanted to take back everything I said and did.
I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! I can't live without Jay-jay in my life. I need her.
I forced myself to stand, though my face and head were hurting.
"Keifer! What happened?" Honey shouted as she ran toward me.
"I have to follow Jay-jay. I need to talk to her," I said, trying my best to walk.
Honey stopped me and helped me stand.
"Those wounds need to be treated! Who hurt you?"
She tried to pull me inside, but my body moved in the opposite direction.
"Jay-jay… I can't lose her!"
"Can you hear yourself?" Honey asked, stopping me. "I thought you were going to fix things first?"
I didn't care about my situation anymore. Jay-jay was the only thing that mattered.
"Jay-jay… I have to—"
I couldn't finish my sentence before darkness overtook my vision completely.