December 25, Bohyun, 21 Years Old
It was past midnight. Christmas had already started.
The sound of footsteps echoed through the cold, sterile hospital lobby. My legs felt like they were turning to stone, a numbness spreading from my toes to my chest. Blood still dripped from the cut on my forehead, warm against my skin. I could barely breathe, my head bowed low, praying with all my heart, eyes squeezed shut.
Then, the sound that would forever haunt me cut through the silence—sobs, desperate and broken. They stopped suddenly, and before I could react, she yanked me by the collar of my blood-soaked shirt.
"You!" Her voice was raw with anguish, trembling with the weight of a grief too heavy to bear. "How dare you stay here! Because of you—because of you, my son is like this now! Give me my son back!"
Her fists pounded against my chest, each blow weak, but filled with a sorrow that pierced deeper than any physical pain. Chae Jihye, she was the one who had shown me love, a love I had lost a long ago from my own mother. I couldn't meet her gaze. How could I look into the eyes of the woman whose life I had just destroyed?
"It's not Bohyun hyung's fault, Mom! Please, let's just wait!" Junghoon's voice was shaky, desperate as he tried to pull his mother away.
But she was inconsolable. "Not his fault? How can you say that? If he hadn't taken Sunghoon skateboarding today, none of this would have happened!" She screamed. "No, it's worse than that. He planned to ruin our lives from the start. He convinced my son to skate, knowing—knowing!—he had no parents to guide him. I should have known!"
Junghoon's grip on his mother's shoulder loosened. "Mom, please! Snap out of it. Don't you see? Bohyun hyung is suffering just as much as we are."
"Mom—" I whispered. "I am sorry... I'm sorry!"
"Mom? You still have the guts to call me mom? After all this—" she shouted.
"Mom—can you just stop!" Junghoon yelled, "what is wrong with you! Why are you—" he exhaled, rubbing his neck in stress. "Calm down, mom! Get yourself together! You don't even know what you are talking about!"
Mom's eyes turned to me once again, "you should leave!"
"OH GOD!" Junghoon shouted, "Do you think your son would like the way you are behaving now?"
Mom's face softened then breaking into a cry. Junghoon gently hugged her and said, "It's going to be alright, mom. It's Sunghoon hyung, he'll be fine no matter what."
The doors to the operating theater swung open, and the doctor stepped out. They rushed to him, their hearts in their throats.
"Doctor, how is my son?" she cried.
"He's stable," the doctor replied, his tone somber. 'He's sleeping now… but I'm sorry, we don't think he'll ever walk again. If he can, it will be a miracle."
The world tilted on its axis. Everything inside me shattered. It was my fault. I had killed his dreams, destroyed his future.
"What?" Junghoon muttered under his breath.
"All you can do now is hoping for a miracle," the doctor said, lowering his head.
The woman who had once been a mother to me crumpled to the ground, her cries filling the empty spaces of the lobby. Her agony was unbearable, and I could no longer stand to be there, to face the devastation I had caused. I didn't deserve to live. If anyone should die, it should be me.
I ran. I ran out of the hospital, my breath ragged, my vision blurred. Junghoon's voice followed me, frantic and pleading. "Hyung! Bohyun hyung! Please, wait! Stay here—Sunghoon hyung will want to see you!"
I stopped, my body trembling, but I couldn't turn around. How could Sunghoon ever want to see me again? I nearly killed him. No—I did kill him, in every way that mattered.
"Junghoon, do you really think it wasn't my fault?" My voice was hollow, deadened by guilt, as I spoke without facing him.
"What are you saying? Hyung, please, get yourself together! You're hurt too—you're bleeding all over. We need to get you treated."
But I couldn't listen. I couldn't stay. "Junghoon, take care of your brother and your mom. I don't even deserve to say sorry, not even to you. This is the last time you'll see me. I promise."
He held my hand, turning me to face him, "You cannot do this, hyung! Please!"
"Sunghoon is like this because of me! Don't you get it?" I asked, shouting, shoving his hands away.
"Hyung, you are not in your right mind!"
"I am in my right mind, Junghoon! I should be the one lying on that bed. If only—" my voice cracked, tears streaming down my face.
"Wouldn't you do the same if you were in Sunghoon hyung's place?" he asked, lowering his voice.
"Would that change anything now? I am a curse, Junghoon! Don't you see that?"
"Did you know the accident would happen?" he asked, being annoyed.
"But it did happen, didn't it? Does anything else matter? Curses follow me. Now I dragged Sunghoon into this."
"If you are saying this just because of mom, then please get yourself together. Mom isn't in her right mind. She will come around. We cannot lose you. So, please stay—"
"I wish I could, Junghoon," I said, turning away then bolting toward my car, ignoring Junghoon's cries. "Hyung, please! Stay!"
But I couldn't. I had ruined the only family I had ever known, destroyed the happiness I had never dared to dream of.
This isn't the first time I'd ruined someone's life. Someone died because of me before. I am a curse, and I deserve to disappear. How many tragedies do I have to witness? If there's really a God, isn't He tired of playing all these tricks on me? How far is he planning to go?
I got into the car, my hands trembling as I gripped the steering wheel. I floored the accelerator, the tires screeching as I sped away. Sunghoon's face was flashing in front of me.
How could he smile that time? How could he say that? How could he look like he was finally at some peace?
If only I could turn back time. Would I be able to change anything? Could I rewrite the past to save the future?
But I knew better. The past was as unchangeable as the broken heart inside me.