The Normandy
Citadel Docking Bay 23409
"Welcome back, sir," said EDI.
I didn't reply.
"Sir? Glad to see that you're back. Miranda was asking when you were going to meet with the Council," called Joker over his shoulder.
I didn't reply. Instead I headed straight to the CIC, where Kelly was working.
"Yeoman Chambers!" I snapped. Kelly jumped.
"Sir?" she asked.
"Do you have a message that warrants my attention?"
"I'm sorry sir, I -"
"Do you, or do you not have amessage for me from the Humanity Systems Alliance?!"
The expression on Kelly's face changed from shock to guilt, and I knew she was hiding something from me.
"Sir, I -"
"Answer the damn question!"
My shout reverberated throughout the Normandy's Bridge, and everyone went silent. It was less crowded than usual, most of the crew enjoying their shore leave, but those that were left were staring at us.
"Hey, leave her alone Shepard!" yelled Joker. He'd gotten out of his seat and stumbled to the CIC, and he was glaring at me. I ignored him and focused on Kelly.
"I'm sorry sir," said Kelly, lip trembling. When I didn't explode her next words came tumbling out all at once.
"I just thought you needed to relax for a few days, calm down before I told you about this."
"Yeoman. No more excuses. No more delays. Give me the message."
Kelly tapped a few buttons and the letter was projected in mid-air above my command station.
To: Staff Commander John K. Shepard
From: Admiral Robert Chan
In light of your prolonged links to the terrorist organisation known as Cerberus, you have been charged with sedition. You have been issued a court-martial date and venue where you can defend yourself. If you choose to ignore this message you will be tried in-absentia, with the possible penalty including but not limited to a dishonourable discharge from the Humanity Systems Alliance Navy.
I glanced at the date. It was weeks ago, while we were preparing for the attack on the Collector base. There was no way I could have gotten to court. I sank to my knees, then sat down on the floor, leaning against the bulkhead.
Everything I'd done for the Alliance. Years of my life spent in service, the countless missions I'd undertaken, the myriad successes I'd achieved. All the pain and the loss and the horror I'd endured. N7. The Skyllian Blitz. Living up to the legacies of Mom and Dad. All gone, wiped away as though it never happened.
"Dishonourable discharge?" breathed Joker. He looked as shocked as I felt.
"I'm...I'm sorry Kelly. I shouldn't have yelled at you," I said quietly, without looking at her.
"I didn't want to affect the mission, sir," she said hesitantly.
"Next time just tell me after the mission's over. So that I won't have to find out from...other sources."
Kelly knelt down beside me. "I just thought you might want a few days of not having to worry about anything. God knows you've earned it."
Once again, Kelly's selflessness astounded me. She wasn't concealing information because she thought she knew better than me. She'd just wanted to give me a break.
"Yeah. Yeah, I see that now. Tell Miranda to come up and meet me on the Bridge. Mordin, Jacob, Garrus and Samara as well. We're going to see the Council now."
"The Council, sir?" asked Kelly. "What about your day with Jack...I mean, Jackie?"
I got up and went to the elevator.
"Forget about it."
In my quarters I had absent-mindedly pulled on my standard issue pants and muscle t-shirt, before realising they were of Cerberus issue. No point in pissing off the Council, at least not this early in the game. Shrugging, I poked around my wardrobe before the bags of clothes I bought for Jack caught my eye.
She had bought most of the stuff for herself, but there were other things that were clearly too big for her. I realised they were for me.
I went through the bag and examined them. They were the kind of clothes you wore to a rock concert or a bar. Not for a meeting with the leaders of galactic government. I grabbed the nice suit Kasumi had procured for me, put it on and went down to meet up with the rest.
The six of us hurried through the Presidium, heading straight for the Council Chambers. People stood aside to let us pass. You never hurried on the Presidium unless it was something urgent.
"Samara, thanks for not leaving before I've had a chance to speak to the Council. Your word as a justicar will carry great weight in my testimony," I said.
"It is my pleasure, Shepard," she replied. "However, I will have to leave you after this. My work as a justicar compels me to return to asari space."
"That's a damn shame."
"Of course, I will be happy to return if you ever have need of me. And I suspect you will have need of me before too long," she said, smiling warmly.
"Got that right," I said.
"I'm impressed," Garrus said to me. "You've finally learned how to play politics."
"What are you talking about?"
"A salarian, an asari, a turian, and two former Cerberus operatives plus yourself. Conclusion; all inclusive, multi-species task force. Council likely to respond positively to subconscious message," chimed in Mordin.
"It is a smart move, Commander," said Jacob.
"I'm going to need all the help I can get to persuade the Council. Every little bit counts. Especially you, Miranda."
"Me? Why?" asked the former operative.
"Because you were the Illusive Man's top lieutenant. No doubt the Council wishes to know every detail about Cerberus."
"The Illusive Man doesn't work like that," she said dismissively. "He would have eliminated everything about Cerberus that I had access to and uprooted entire projects completely as soon as I informed him of my ah, resignation."
"Oh. Well, at least we have the Normandy. You did make sure every last monitoring device was eliminated?"
"Positive."
After a thorough security check, we were allowed into the topmost levels of galactic government. I felt a little naked without my weapons. I glanced sideways at Samara. The last time that had happened I wound up a prisoner of an Ardat-Yakshi. Although that experience might have been more pleasant than the one I was about to go through.
We were led by the guards to a small room with a round table, where the four most important people in the galaxy were impatiently awaiting our arrival.
Councillor Araeus Tevos, the representative from the Asari Republics. She was a matriarch, though younger than Samara, and was quite possibly the most respected individual in the galaxy. She was known for her wisdom and restraint, and was always civil to me, despite the circumstances.
Councillor Bensin Valern, the representative from the Salarian Union. I didn't know much about him, and neither did Mordin. He was quiet, and preferred to remain in the shadows. He gave me the impression that for every statement he made he was keeping nine other secrets hidden.
Councillor Laiel Sparatus, the representative from the Turian Empire and its Hierarchy. Asshole.
And of course, David Anderson, the first human Councillor. Apparently he'd forgotten that it was I who put him there, judging by the way he didn't do anything about my court-martial. I had a few choice words for him as soon as we could talk in private. He refused to meet my eyes and I immediately knew something was up.
"Spectre Shepard, it is good to see you again. We would like to hear your report, please," began Councillor Tevos pleasantly.
I leaned back in my chair, trying to marshal my thoughts. "No doubt you would be delighted to know that I have completed my mission in the Terminus Systems. The Collector threat against human colonies has been neutralised. Permanently."
Velarn and Sparatus exchanged significant glances.
"And what about your alleged links with Cerberus, Commander?" asked Sparatus.
I looked at him in the eye. "I'm here to set the record straight. I am not – and have never – been a part of Cerberus. I merely made use of the resources they were willing to provide me for the duration of my mission."
I turned to face Anderson, while still speaking to Sparatus.
"And you can stop calling me Commander as well. I'm not part of the Alliance any more."
Anderson said nothing.
"This sounds most promising," said Velarn quickly, to smooth over the awkward moment.
"How can you be sure that Cerberus aren't using you, Shepard?" demanded Sparatus. God, he was like a dog with a bone, unwilling to give it up. "According to our intelligence these two humans are members of Cerberus, not to mention your ship!"
"Not anymore," muttered Jacob.
"Councillor, Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor have decided at great personal risk to sever all ties with Cerberus in favour of following my command. They have been of immense help during the assault on the Collector base."
"They quit Cerberus? Just like that?" asked Velarn doubtfully.
"Shepard," said Tevos carefully. "Speaking plainly, how can you be sure you can trust these individuals? How can you be sure that this is not some plot by Cerberus to exploit you?"
Miranda's lips tightened in a firm line. I gave her a warning look, then answered the Councillor.
"I trust them, ma'am. I've trusted them with my lives. They've never let me down, not even once. And I'd be willing to do it again."
"So we are to once again risk everything on your gut feelings?" asked Sparatus sarcastically. Good God, I wanted to punch him in the face so much.
"I'm not asking you to invite us round for tea and dumplings," I said heatedly. "If Miranda and Jacob suddenly slit my throat in the middle of the night and deliver my head to the Illusive Man, fine. I'll admit you're right. But somehow I don't think that's going to happen."
"Councillors!" said Anderson. "There is a greater issue at stake here. Spectre Shepard's encounter with the Collectors has turned up evidence of Reaper activity. We can no longer close our eyes to the Reaper threat."
"Is that so?" asked Velarn. "Where exactly is this Collector base?"
"We obtained a Reaper IFF from a secret Cerberus project," I explained. "This allowed us to bypass the security measures put in place at the other end of the Omega 4 relay, where the Collector base was located."
"'Was', Shepard?" observed Tevos.
I winced.
"What happened to the base?" asked Velarn.
"I – uh – blew it up."
"Typical!" exclaimed Sparatus. "You had an entire base full of Collector technology, far superior to anything we have at our disposal, and you blow it up! Did you even consider the possibility that we might have found useful information and technology within that base?"
"Councillor," I said with deliberate politeness. "I have heard that spiel before, but not from you. The Illusive Man said the exact same thing, word for word."
You could have heard a pin drop.
"It was my decision to get rid of the base," I continued. "Collector technology is based heavily on Reaper technology, which carries significant risk of indoctrination. The Illusive Man wanted access to that same Reaper technology, Councillor. Imagine Cerberus utilising a weapon similar to the ones used on the attack on the Citadel. It was because of my decision that will not happen."
I didn't have much experience with turian facial expressions, but it seemed to me that Sparatus looked as though he had been forced to swallow his own genitals. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Garrus tip me a wink.
"If the base is destroyed, do you have any other evidence to prove the truth of your words, Shepard?" asked Tevos.
"My name is Samara," spoke up my companion suddenly. "You know who I am, Councillor."
"Yes. I do," said Tevos, looking at the justicar with mixed apprehension and respect.
"I was recruited by Shepard for his mission. I have fought by his side and followed his commands, and battled the Collectors at his behest. I was on that Collector station. I saw first hand evidence of Reaper influence. And I can attest to the loyalty and bravery of Ms Lawson and Mr Taylor. They have done a courageous thing by leaving Cerberus."
"I...see," said the Councillor.
"Any other evidence you might wish to present, Shepard?" asked Velarn.
"Indeed I do. Step forward Dr Solus."
Mordin sat up a little straighter. I saw Osbern blink in surprise. Perhaps he recognised the name.
"Have collected substantial biological data on the Collectors. Able to prove genetic link to the Protheans, as well as evidence of extensive gene modification made by the Reapers. Also, have in possession a single drone of the so-called Seeker swarms that were used to abduct human colonies, as well as inventing an effective counter measure. Will be happy to forward my findings to the Council," said the mad genius. I was glad I'd brought him along.
"Please do so, doctor," said Velarn. "We will examine the data and reach a conclusion within a few days, Spectre Shepard."
I stood up. "Now before I leave, let me say something."
Everyone's eyes were on me.
"I know the hatchet job you performed on me after I was lost. I know you tried to paint Sovereign's attack as some kind of geth plot. I know you tried to make me out as some kind of lunatic," I said intensely, fingers gripping the edge of the table until my knuckles had turned white.
"Shepard, our decisions affect trillions of lives. We simply cannot incite a galactic panic by spreading your apocalyptic predictions of doom!" Sparatus protested.
"Keep calm and carry on, eh? That ain't an option. Not any longer. Check the data. Run your tests. Do whatever you want. Then when you find out that I am right and we have zero time to waste, let me know."
"We will...keep in contact," said Councillor Tevos. "You and your team are dismissed."
We were in the lobby of the Council Chambers when Anderson came running up.
"John, wait. I know I owe you an explanation."
I didn't answer immediately, but looked at Garrus. "Go on ahead, I'll catch up with you guys later."
"You sure, sir?" asked Jacob.
"Yeah."
They filed into the elevator, and were whisked away. I then faced the man who had been my hero, my mentor, my captain, and my friend.
"I'm sure you have a lot of questions for me," he said in that deep, wise-sounding voice of his. Anderson always looked and acted like a man you could trust. I had fallen for that.
"Let's get the obvious points out of the way, shall we? Dishonourable discharge? Without having a chance to defend myself?" I asked.
"You have to understand how it looked from their point of view," Anderson began. "You were dead and gone. Nobody knew what to think. Then the Council came in with their nonsense about geth. The Alliance had a major PR disaster on their hands. You went from poster boy to pariah overnight."
"Tell me something I don't know."
"Alright. Alright. You see, they could have overlooked all that...had you not associated yourself with Cerberus."
"For the love of -"
"John, even mentioning Cerberus's name is enough to place you under suspicion nowadays. You should know that. The damage they've done to the Alliance, the lives they threw away...the Alliance sees them as monsters. Plain and simple. After Chief Williams filed her report -"
"What?" I choked. "Ash did this?"
"She was doing her job. All she could confirm was that you were working with Cerberus, and didn't intend to stop. You didn't even tell her you were infiltrating Cerberus or something. We didn't have any mitigating factor at all," Anderson said.
"The Ashley I knew would never have believed I was working for Cerberus if I didn't have any other goddamn choice," I said.
"You did have a court-martial. You could have showed up and defended yourself."
"What part of 'preparation for a suicide mission' don't you understand?!" I raged. "While you and the rest of the Alliance were jerking off, I was risking my life trying to solve the problem you didn't give a fuck about!"
"We were conducting our own investigation!" he said, sounding stung.
"And it was too goddamn slow! Thousands of men and women died, Anderson. Tens of thousands. They died while you were working through your red tape."
Anderson looked haunted. His eyes were sunken, his breath was ragged. Right before my eyes he changed from a dignified Councillor into a tired old man.
"I know they did," he said. "I know. I didn't ask for this job, John. You gave it to me."
"I recommended one of the best men I knew," I said, struggling to keep the emotion out of my voice. "I recommended you because I thought I could trust you. I thought I could count on you to watch my back."
"I'm not a very good politician. I'm a sailor."
"And I was a marine. But now I'm no longer one, am I?"
Anderson didn't have anything to say to that.
"My father died for the Alliance, Anderson. My mother still serves. I'm Alliance, born and bred. I gave my life to the Academy. To N7. To the defence of Elysium. I dreamed about being a marine every day of my life when I was a kid. Now all of that is so much dust in the wind."
"I'm sorry. I wish there could have been another way," Anderson said.
"There was. You could have stood up for me," I said harshly.
"I did what I could. But even a Councillor's no match for gutter politics," he replied.
I fished around in my pocket and handed Anderson something I'd taken from my cabin. My Star of Terra medal, awarded for outstanding bravery in the line of fire during the Skyllian Blitz. The highest honour the Alliance could bestow. Now less than worthless.
"Take it."
"John, I -"
"If the HSA doesn't want me, I'm not that big a dumbass to beg them to take me back. I'm just a Spectre now. I'll go where I want, do what I want. Wherever your arm reaches, I'll just fly a little further."
"I'll keep this safe," said Anderson, closing his fist over the little medal. "One day they'll give it back to you."
"That day comes, I'm not sure if I'll take it back."
I went back to the Normandy, head spinning. It felt strange to have your life's purpose washed away from you without so much as a whimper. For so long the only thing I'd been committed to was the Alliance. I lived and breathed the Alliance. I could recite the creed by heart, knew all the songs since I was little. Now all that had been cut off.
In the course of a few hours I had lost everything. I had lost everything that defined my life.
I went to my cabin and sat down on the bed. Everything was neat and ordered, like a marine's room should be. Everything except the clothes I'd bought, they were all over the place.
It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
I took off my nice suit and flung it onto the floor. I rummaged for the clothes Jack had picked for me, and put them on piece by piece.
Stonewashed jeans, with steel rivets.
Nice open-neck, button-down white shirt.
Brown leather jacket, so new it cracked as I put it on.
Steel shod combat boots.
Shades tinted a dark red.
I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked different. I felt different. I ran a hand over my carefully shaved scalp. I'd kept it short for so long due to the ingrained habit of military regs. I'd never have to do that again.
I started to walk out, then stopped. Something had caught my eye.
Jackie had left a packet of smokes and a silver lighter lying on the table from the last time she was here. I picked it up and shook one out. I flicked the lighter and lit it up.
I had never smoked in my life. My parents didn't, and I didn't see any reason to. Besides, I didn't want anything to harm my lungs.
Those were my old lungs. My old body was destroyed. This was the new me. I should have realised this earlier. I had died. I was reborn. And the thing about being born again, is that you can shape your life any way you want.
I took a long drag on the cigarette, savouring the taste. I puffed out the smoke, stuck the cigarette in a corner of my mouth, and headed out.
C-Sec Office
The Presidium
"Commander Shepard?" asked the woman at the front desk.
"Spectre."
"Ah, of course," she said, checking her file.
"I'm here to interrogate my suspect, Ms Al-Jailani."
"She's down in room five, sir. I believe her lawyer's just arrived."
I smiled. "Even better."
I swaggered through the station and reached the interrogation room. I could see Khalisah and her lawyer sitting at one end of a table, both of them arguing animatedly with a harassed looking salarian officer. I flicked my cigarette into a waste bin, lit a new one, and slammed the door open.
"Shepard!" she cried in surprise.
"Officer," I said to the salarian. "Take a walk. I'll handle this."
"Yes, sir."
When he had left I went over to the door and locked it. Then I sat down on the chair facing them and settled back.
Khalisah began yelling at me and I tuned out. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling and hummed a little tune. When it became apparent I wasn't paying attention she tapered off and fell silent.
"Commander Shepard," began the lawyer, and I looked at him. He was a man of average height and build, brown hair, brown eyes. For someone so average looking it was amazing how every fibre of his being screamed asshole.
"This is an illegal detainment. My client has not been informed of the charges she is accused of. I have every right to -"
"Spectre."
"What?"
"Not Commander. Not any more. Spectre."
"He got kicked out of the Alliance," sneered Khalisah.
"Spectre or not, I'm going to hound your ass until you wish you'd never been -"
Quick as a wink I jerked forward and snatched the front of his shirt with both hands. Although he was a little on a heavy side it was child's play for me to haul him up, drag him across the table and fling him on the floor behind me.
"What are you doing?!" shrieked Khalisah. Her lawyer was too busy groaning in pain to say anything. "You can't do that!"
"Watch me," I said.
"I'll have your hide for this!" screamed the lawyer. "Every last goddamn credit you have!"
"I couldn't care less about my bank account," I said pleasantly, hauling the lawyer off the floor and shoving him up against a wall.
"Let me go!"
"The Alliance did let me go, buddy. They did that. But I'm still a Spectre. Does the phrase 'above the law' mean anything to you?"
"You corrupt son of a bitch!"
"You know, Commander Shepard would have cared about that. Commander Shepard always tried to do the right thing. Commander Shepard was always the hero. And look at where that sad bastard ended up. Dead and forgotten, laughed at for being a Reaper-obsessed maniac."
Do it, whispered a voice in my mind, with all the silk and venom of an Ardat-Yakshi.
"Let's see how well Spectre Jack does," I said, and rammed my head forward.
It was an old move, taught to me long ago. It's called the Liverpool Kiss, and if you do it fast enough and in just the right way it would knock a turian out cold, and even stun a krogan for a second or two. I felt the lawyer's nose break under my skull and gush blood. He dropped to the floor, out for the foreseeable future.
"Help me! Oh God, someone please help me! Save me from this lunatic!" screamed Khalisah, pounding on the door with all her might. But no one came.
"Khalisah," I said, coming closer. She shrieked and ran away, to the opposite corner of the room.
"Stay away from me! Stay away!"
I pulled up a chair and turned it around so I could lean on it while facing her.
"Finally. For once you're scared of something. I'll bet in your entire life you've never actually feared for your life, have you?"
Khalisah shook her head desperately.
"For instance," I said, unholstering my gun and pointing it at her. "I could shoot you right now and no one would blink an eye. I don't think I've ever really understood what 'Above the law' truly meant. It's absolute freedom. It's marvellous."
Khalisah had gone very, very still. Her eyes were focused on my gun.
"There's...there are records..." she managed to say.
"Of this little talk? Sure," I said. "But I have friends. In high places and low. I could get the recording without even trying. No one would ever know."
"What do you want from me?" she said quietly. Tears were streaming down her face. She was a broken, hollowed-out shell of what she used to be. I had misused my power and my status to terrify the living hell out of this woman.
Don't you like it? A whisper in my ear.
What was I doing? I shook my head. All I wanted to do was to scare Khalisah a little. Not act like a sneering supervillain. I put my gun back in its holster and addressed the journalist.
"All throughout your career you've dragged my name through the mud. It ends now. It ends here," I said. "Stay off my back, and do your best to inform people about the Reapers. I said inform, not sensationalise."
"What if I don't?" she asked.
"I'll be keeping an eye out. If you get back to your old ways, well...you won't know how. You won't know when. But I'll come for you. And when that happens, today will seem like a day at the seaside. Got that?"
Khalisah nodded quickly. Better to make some sort of vague threat than to give the specifics. Her own mind would terrify her better than I ever could.
I unlocked the door and Khalisah took off like the hounds of hell were at her heels. I shrugged and walked out.
"Did you find what you were looking for, sir?" asked the woman at the front desk. I puffed on my cigarette and flashed her a smile.
"Absolutely, darling."