A sorcerer and their pearl, one without the other loses significance. The pearl is mana compressed until it solidifies to become a source. A sorcerer creates and grows their pearl to gain their abilities.
Abilities like calming hurricanes or raising infernos. To run across the lands faster than any horse or bird. The strength that goes beyond the possibilities of the body.
All begin with the pearl. Without this source, their name lost all meaning. Yet, even with a pearl, a person does not just become a sorcerer.
For the people of Aeternitus, pearls were interwoven into the fabric of daily life. Just as many people cook and eat without being professional chefs. Even more than that, the use of mana in each job and career was interwoven. Those of the stone mana often became merchants or laborers. Those blessed with the mana of wood became farmers, and so on. It would be more difficult to find someone who didn't have a pearl than someone who did.
These elemental divisions of labor weren't a legalized hierarchy. This was a combination of tradition and common sense for Aeternians. Yet, sorcerers came from all types of pearls.
Wealth, and the free time required, kept the majority of the populace from becoming sorcerers. Alongside the consequences of failure.
Failing to condense the pearl could often mean anything from death to destruction of the pearl itself. This destruction in turn could cause internal injuries, insanity, or twisting the latent mana in the body. The final one also made forming another pearl impossible. Successfully condensing a pearl once is also not enough when ascending to immortality, the ultimate goal.
It wasn't worth it for the common farmer.
The starting steps were of value to all, however, and were simple enough.
First is the act of sensing mana. In some ways, this is the most difficult stage. It's difficult, near impossible, for human beings to sense mana without help. This is why an older family member pushes a bit of mana inside the child's body while explaining the process.
It can still take months for the child to do it alone. Then comes the actual forming of the pearl. Mana has to be drawn inside the body without mixing it with other types. This is also when the child learned which types of mana responded easiest to their pull.
Typically the same as one of their parents, there was the occasional throwback to a grandparent. As long as the child could control at least one type of mana, they could separate it and pull it inside their body.
Generally, a guide for the internal structure of the pearl was necessary. This was taught to the child by their parents. As long as the family line remained unbroken, they would be fine. The only problem was if the child's latent mana was incompatible with their inheritance.
Such cases were like albinos, more legend than actual occurrence.
Other than that, where the pearl was placed also affected things. To reinforce the body, the pearl was placed closer to the heart. To reinforce the sensing and emitting of mana, the pearl was placed by the head.
Those were the basics.
Sense mana, absorb it, form it, layer it a few million times, condense it, and a dog could be a sorcerer. As long as it didn't die.
Talent?
It exists but without hard work who would see it?
One kid senses mana in a month. Another takes three years. But if the kid who could sense mana in a month only layered their pearl once a day, and the kid who took years layered it ten times a day, the latter kid is going to take the talented one to the cleaners. Then factor in that the less talented kid has all the resources of his rich family behind him, and talent becomes difficult to spot.
Practice refines talent.
And who was trying to begin this path again a decade late?
Aureum stood, trying to sense the mana in the breeze. Her arms stretched out in a relaxed manner. Her face frowned in concentration.
Her nose scrunched as she tried to focus. The minor amount of mana gathering back at the center of her forehead glowed. Less than a grain of sand. A tiny, tiny thing.
"Achoo!"
She sneezed. The mana scattered. Not even a speck left. Forming the pearl was turning out to be her greatest hurdle.
She frowned as she rubbed her nose.
"Bet somebody can't stop cursing me."
In reality, nobody was talking about her. It was just barely Spring, and still very cold outside.
Did Aureum have difficulty sensing the mana? No, she could do that without a pearl. The pulling of mana was difficult, but compared to her child self, she was an expert. It took less than thirty minutes to get reacquainted with it.
The problem?
It was taking too long.
How long was she supposed to stand there, running the mana through her form until it solidified? She had to remain still enough to not disturb the process for what? An entire week? A week?
Either a bug landed, or she had to use the restroom, or the mere strain of holding the same position for hours wore her down. She hadn't made it half a day, let alone a week.
Had it been this difficult as a kid? She had thought it was difficult, but it was this difficult?
How did I even… No, I know that children generally use the environment to form pearls, but most of them can't even control that much mana to begin with. I thought I would be fine?
"Hey, Aureum."
Felixia wandered from the entrance of the garden to her sister.
"What do you want?"
"Want? I want to know what you're doing standing here for the past few hours."
"Ah, I'm just being an idiot. An idiot!"
"All right, but come inside and be an idiot comfortably."
Seeing Felixia's disinterest, Aureum wanted to speak.
"Well, I was trying to reform my pearl."
So if she wanted to she did. How refreshing, except for Felixia's reaction.
"Here?"
"Yeah?"
"What?"
"…"
Aureum and Felixia looked at each other for a bit. An odd feeling stirred up.
"Pft!"
"…Excuse me?"
"Are you an old lady already? Don't you remember the day you formed your pearl? It's only been about eight years. Well, for you it might have been ten, or twelve?"
It's actually around two decades for me though.
"I remember the cake afterward."
"And mine?"
"I think I was away with Mom." She frowned in concentration. "Was there anything odd about it?"
"No, it was completely normal," Felixia said, taking her words slow. "Completely normal in that I had to wait for an especially windy day to do it."
"Seriously, that's just to help kids do it, wouldn't an adult be fine?"
"What? You think you're a genius?"
So what, my years of suffering in the future were for nothing?! I'm really at the same level as an eight-year-old kid?!
Felixia didn't notice Aureum's internal scream and continued.
"Even if you don't want to wait, it would help to wait for a better day than this. Didn't you form yours in the middle of a storm?"
"I think I… vaguely remember it?"
It was there now, the memory of going into the darkness shattered by light as the wind cut at her face. A memory of a memory. How she tried to focus as her father shouted at her in her ear through the storm. It hadn't been a delightful memory, but a terrifying one. Something she had avoided even thinking about.
Though now more recent terrors had buried it into obscurity.
"The short of it is, you're going to need a lot of mana to solidify a pearl, or you'll have to focus on it for a looooong time. Why don't you just wait a week instead?"
"Huh…"
"What is with you? This is nothing difficult. Are you alright?"
All traces of laughter were gone from her face, with only concern bordering on fear quieting her voice. This was something Aureum had not even a fragment of a memory of. This being treated like glass. Or a ticking time bomb.
It was already wearing out its welcome.
"I'm just impatient, that's all."
Aureum yawned and strode back inside. It seemed like her efforts were just a waste of time. At least she was ready.
She had no need to learn to sense or control mana.
All she had to do was wait for a windy enough day. Like her birthday coming once a year, it wasn't like a storm was anything that eventful. It was and it wasn't. It would come when it came.
She could be patient.
———————————————————
Yeah, right.
"RAIN ALREADY! BLOW GUSTS OF WHISTLING WIND! HALE! ANYTHING!"
The next day Aureum stood in the garden in a similar pose, without even a breeze to support her efforts. Her face directed towards the sky, fury made petulant by impotence. The clear sky did not notice her words.
If this had just been a week ago it would have been quite easy just to wait. It was like she had been in a dream. Where everything she'd ever wanted was there. No, just being alive had been enough of a high.
But after seeing that dog-loving-jerk, could she still just take it easy?
"RAIN!"
It wasn't possible. Even if her present was different from how the first past was, she couldn't just calm down. As long as the engagement was still a possibility, it was impossible to calm down.
"Isn't she going a bit too far? Maybe we should call back the doctor?"
Felixia spoke with a pained expression. Simila and her youngest daughter watched Aureum from the window in the living room. Simila shook her head.
"Let her get it out. It'd be more painful to try and stop her."
"This is likely just a fad. Wasn't she excited when that Spesavia wanted to teach her? But she still went ahead to get engaged."
Felixia disregarded Aureum's decision without a second thought.
"Marriage and training isn't something that should be forced into a choice. You understand that Nix would have gained as well had Aureum continued learning, right Felixia?"
"I agree, but she could have turned him down sooner. Instead of making us all suffer like this!"
Her mother just smiled.
"You think that the engagement breaking is a good thing, Mom? Tell Aureum to apologize to him!"
"The decision has never been mine to make, my darling Luck. But yes. I think she could do better with her future."
"Better than the son of lord Nix?!"
"Much better."
———————————————————
The next day there was rain, but no wind at all.
Aureum stood soaked. Her face sculpted into a dim scowl. Was even nature mocking her now?
"AHHHHHHH!"
By the third day, Aureum had had enough of shouting. The scowl that etched inside her face crept inside her eyes. By the fourth day, murder was on her mind.
But the sky didn't care.
Her family did.
For a while, her actions were ignored. She held the ultimate card when it came to leeway, her pearl being broken. Since this behavior arose from that, nobody in the family touched it carelessly.
However, It was too much of an eyesore for her father.
Calces was a merchant. He was used to apologizing profusely for minor offenses. He didn't consider such a task demeaning of his pride at all, as long as he could make a hair's worth of improvement on his margin of profit.
When it came to his family it was different.
He had seen her the past few days when he returned. At first, it was a minor annoyance. The days tipped and toppled that annoyance into something else.
Sure, our family rarely has guests, but does every day have to be a scene in the back garden?
The eighth time he arrived home after dark and saw his wife watching their erratic daughter, he went directly to the garden without a word.
Aureum felt a heavy hand on her shoulder. Her eyes snapped open with a panic, her concentration broken.
"Uh! Dad?"
The shadowed face of her father looked down at her. A light from the house highlighted his eyes. His expression seemed serious.
What.
It might be pointless, but it's better than just standing there. And if the wind does suddenly pick up, I'm ready.
Even if all it resulted in was her repeated failure.
She didn't voice this preemptive defense to her father.
"Aureum," he said. "What is this nonsense? Come inside."
She took the time to really look at him.
It's nasty being ordered around, even if it's my dad, huh.
She smiled up at him.
"Nonsense?" She said. "I'm just getting ready to redo my pearl."
"In this manner? What good is slamming your head into a wall?!"
He was pissed.
"Well, I might make a crack if I keep doing it?"
That makes it sound like I'll crack my own skull!
Calces pulled himself straight and looked down at her nodding.
It had been the wrong thing to say.
"Aureum, when the last time you kept on doing anything?"
She opened her mouth and closed it. The kind father from her memories shouldn't have said something like that.
Was it true?
She looked down and brushed her hand through her bangs.
"I kept up layering my pearl pretty well," she said. "Just a bit everyday but—
"Yes, but you dropped that for your wedding. Just because the best option doesn't work out, doesn't mean you get to give up on it. Where do you think me or your mother would be if we did that. We weren't ideal partners for each other, but ideal partners don't exist!"
Calces spoke without giving Aureum much of a chance to speak. He had to breathe still, and Aureum took her chance.
"Are you telling me to wed the guy I slapped?"
"No. But you can't give up on marriage as an option just because the son of Lord Nix himself didn't work out. There are at least fifteen eligible lordlings from the eight nearest city-states alone for Bonum's sake!"
She bit back petulant desire to shout back. Her control lasted all of half a second.
"And if I don't want to get married? Even if you manage a miracle to get one of those fifteen lordings to marry me?"
"Aureum, act with good sense." Her father's voice was tired. "Even if you had a chance at becoming a true sorceress, now you would be behind your competition. You would have to race to catch up to them, which increases your chances of dying. Being half-baked will just get you killed."
So there it is.
He doesn't think I can do it.
Should I shout about this? It feels like I should shout. I'm kind of accomplished you know!
At giving the big Cyclops a headache. OK, that just makes me feel worse.
Does throwing common sense out the window and causing havoc not count for much? And even there I had the occasional help. What?
Does everything I went through count for nothing?
Calces continued as Aureum felt the ground sink like quicksand beneath her. The smile she'd forced twisted in her mouth. She didn't know what expression it showed.
"What sort of ambitions do you even have for becoming a sorceress? Can you tell me that?"
"…I just want to be able to run away."
That was far too much honesty.
Aureum winced after she spoke.
"Run away?" Calces said. "Aren't you already pretty skilled at that? Why do you need to be a sorcerer for that?"
All right, that hurt.
"You ran away from the storm as a child," Calces said. "You ran away from your education to training under Spesavia. You ran away from that into marriage. And you run away from marriage into setting a path for sorcery after all sense for that path has left. Maybe you should already consider yourself an expert on that subject."
Aureum's expression leveled out. She was shocked. She was pissed. She wanted to cry. She wanted to murder him.
But she knew too well that none of those things would be advantageous for her right now.
And.
She couldn't deal with him like Caducus. Cussing him out, burning his curtains, ruining his parties, and any number of other things. She could, but she wouldn't.
My Dad is worth more respect than that fleabag.
She forced herself to smile again. It took every second of self-control hammered into her at the House of Nix to do it. It cost a piece of her soul.
"Seems I've got a lot of practice then!"
She took a hesitant step past him. Then another.
"Living however you want has a price, Aureum. I hope you realize that."
He didn't shout at her to come back, to her relief. He likely thought the discussion was done here. If he he had continued she couldn't promise herself she wouldn't turn around. And do any number of unseemly things.
Once in her room, she curled up in bed like an injured animal. She kept that position for maybe half an hour, excepting minor shivers. Still, the bed was soft.
The sore wrists, the dry throat, and the haggard breathing from being hung up for so long. Compared to that she could almost smile.
At least Calces actually cared.
Her eyes flashed open. Jolting up she beat her fist into her pillow.
Womp! Womp! Womp!
Really? So what if he cared! Is there no other way to redirect me than to take out my guts and crush them! Sadist! Just tell me to stop!
Her arms sagged. It's not like nice words would stop her, Aureum knew that. The worst thing, the absolute worst thing, was that he was right. Maybe not in his delivery, but in his perception.
What was the reason I was imprisoned? Unable to see or make a real friend?
Unable to do even simple things like dress or eat as I wanted?
Was it for a righteous purpose? Was it for love?
No.
You couldn't call the feelings Aureum had had for Nivis anything close to love. She'd been flattered by his pursuit. Admired his nice appearance, upbringing, and wealth. She thought she trusted him. But.
I just took the easy way out. I thought somebody else could create my happiness for me.
It wasn't her fault that marriage was from hell, but she ultimately suffered the consequences for that "easy choice" alone.
I can't stay like this. Even if facing reality is painful, I've got to do it. Otherwise, the painful things just pile up and burst into flame after a while.
She got up from the bed and sorted through the drawers of her dresser. The clothes and jewels from her teenage years piled behind her. Still, what she wanted was found in the most obvious spot, on top of the dresser by the corner. The one place she'd continuously overlooked.
She held Nivis' engagement ring to her eye and looked through it, the eye narrowing as she smiled.
So what if no windy day has come? I'll go catch the wind myself!