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So here I am—**4 years old**.
Still short. Still immortal. Still being celebrated like the second coming of Frost Jesus. My birthday has turned into a **national holiday**, and not gonna lie... I'm kind of eating it up.
> "Is this what it's like to be a dictator? Everyone bows, no one questions, and you get first dibs on mammoth steak."
But despite the worship, the feasts, and the stream of endless praise, my **system HUD** hasn't changed in months.
Still the same:
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**Name:** Aethonix
**Age:** 4 Years Old
**Abilities:** Immortality, Cryokinesis
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> "Brooo... where are my powers? Did I finish the tutorial and forget to subscribe to premium?"
No new skills. No new abilities. Just my trusty cryokinesis, which—granted—is *super* OP. I can freeze lakes, sculpt weapons, and casually nuke woodland creatures by imagining an ice lance like I'm **Vlad the Impaler's winter cousin**.
True story: I saw a **four-horned rabbit** once—thing looked like it came out of Pokémon. Out of curiosity, I imagined an ice spear. Instant kebab. The guards freaked out again.
> "AETHONIX HAS SUMMONED THE SPEAR OF FROST!"
> "IT'S A HOLY ACT!"
> "…It's a frozen shish kebab, bro."
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## **Existential Baby Crisis**
Lately, I've been thinking about us—**Aurorians**.
We *look* human, but we're not. We're taller. Stronger. Smarter. Buff by default. Like… even our babies have biceps. I'm 4 and can do squats. That ain't normal.
So I asked Dad:
> "Where do we come from? Are we gods?"
He blinked like I asked him to solve quantum physics using cave paintings.
Then I asked:
> "Is there magic? Mana? Divine energy? Ki? Anything?"
Nothing. Zip. Nada. These people don't even know what a **fireball** is unless it involves actual fire and someone yelling.
BUT—here's the twist: **we get stronger as we age**.
I was like—wait what?
> "So the older we get, the *more powerful* we become? Like Odin-style? Like Super Saiyan Grandpa Mode?"
They nodded.
> "Yup. Physical strength keeps increasing. Endurance. Reflexes. Even toughness."
No one knows how old we *can* get. One elder straight-up said:
> "Child, we never counted years before you. We don't know how old we are."
Bro. I was **mad**.
> "So y'all just *vibed through centuries* and never wondered how long you've been alive? We really were in the caveman speedrun, huh?"
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## **Birthdays, Buff Chickens & Cult of the Cow**
My birthday came again—yes, again. The **only** recognized calendar event in the entire tribe.
We had dancing. Drums. Meat skewers. One guy painted my face on a cliff. Another tried to carve me a throne made of frozen wood (spoiler: it melted).
Still a good time.
But I decided to take civilization one step further. I suggested:
> "Why don't we start *breeding* animals for food? Farming? Pets? Stuff like that?"
Turns out we already had **giant cows**. Like… **six feet tall**. These weren't cows. They were walking minibosses. You don't milk them—you politely *ask* for milk and hope they don't kick you into orbit.
And chickens? **FOUR. FEET. TALL.** They looked like they were built to guard temples.
> "I just wanted eggs, not get stared down by poultry versions of Mike Tyson."
Anyway, the people listened. We began domesticating them—*the barbarian way*. Punching, yelling, intimidating the animals into submission. One guy tried to outstare a bull and got headbutted into a bush.
But it worked.
I then told them:
> "Take the cow fat. Smoke it. Try to make oil."
Boom. **Fatty Oil** unlocked.
> "Achievement unlocked: Caveman Cooking 101."
And apparently—*get this*—someone already discovered **cast iron cookware** years ago. Just randomly.
> "How did you guys invent this without inventing hygiene?"
> "A strong warrior hit a rock until it became hot and useful."
> "…Caveman logic is wild."
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## **Food Revolution & Ice-Tech Upgrade**
Now we had a stable food source. Milk, eggs, meat, and oil. I nearly **cried** when I tasted scrambled eggs for the first time. I hadn't eaten something that soft since reincarnation.
Only problem? **No salt**.
> "This food's got the nutrition, but it tastes like cardboard."
> "What's cardboard?"
> "Don't worry about it."
To store food longer, I built the first-ever **ice freezer**. We put smoked meats and perishables inside a sealed cave chamber. I layered it with frost daily.
Boom. **Tribal Refrigeration** achieved.
> "Industrial Age speedrun, baby."
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## **Training Arc: Caveman Combat and Flying Children**
Eventually, Dad said:
> "Time to train you in battle, son."
Me:
> "Cool, I'll learn some swordplay or—"
**WHAM.**
He hit me with a punch that **sent me flying across the cave**.
> "Bro. I'm four. This is child abuse with extra steps."
Mom came in *screaming* like a banshee with a kitchen cleaver.
> "KRAELOS WHAT IN THE GODS ARE YOU DOING?!"
> "He needed to feel pressure."
> "HE'S FOUR YEARS OLD!"
Dad got **banned** from training me after that.
Instead, I was handed over to **Knox**, the Warbringer, and taught the basics: punching, dodging, balance, and how not to die when sparring.
Good news? We Aurorians have **insane reflexes**.
In intense moments, time slows down—our eyes and brain process faster. Like we activate slow-mo *instinctively*.
> "Ultra Instinct toddler mode activated."
Also, we've got **retractable fangs**.
Yes. Actual hidden canines.
They pop out during rage or survival states, like a built-in vampire mode.
> "It's weirdly cool and terrifying. Imagine biting your enemies with ice breath. Peak intimidation."
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