I stood by the door hesitating whether to ring the bell. I had absolutely no idea what would await behind that door. Maybe it would be a generous stranger who would welcome me and let me in, providing me with much-needed shelter for now. Or it could be someone who seems to be a generous stranger who will provide me with shelter, only for me to end up chopped into pieces and flushed down the drain later tonight. Or maybe, nothing happens at all. And I'd have to turn back and go back to where I came from, which might also end up with me being chopped into pieces and flushed down the drain.
:Ding dong:
There was no immediate answer, but I thought I heard a faint sound coming from behind the door as if somebody was sluggishly getting up.
This was my last chance. What do I do now?
I could hear that someone was definitely coming to the door. So I did not ring twice. The only options that were available to me were either fight or flight. Flight down the long straight corridor, which would make it a short chase for the impending doom to hunt me down and grab the little old me.
But my fears were grossly unfair. It is, after all, I who came here for help. Help from a total stranger, someone that I did not even know whether it would be he or she, or anything in between, or nothing at all. Because these days you never know unless you are politely told and introduced to, I'd never know.
"Who is this?"
Ok, it sounded like a man. That was not a good thing. An adult, grown-up man. But what else did I expect? A friendly young girl to be living alone inviting me and offering all her cookies? Telling me that she's living off the inheritance from her late parents and I'm welcome to stay for as long as I want for free?
Being the 14-year-old girl that I am though, I don't think it was that unreasonable for me to be alarmed of an adult man of any kind. After all, not with the life I've had at home.
"It's-, it's me"
How fucking stupid. Why did I say that?
"Mimi? Is that you?"
Mimi?
There was a hint of excitement in his voice and the door flung open.
There stood a man dressed like a total slob, perhaps in his mid to late 30s, with hair that looked like he hadn't washed for a while and dark circles under his eyes that were so heavy he might not have slept for days.
Yet, there was a look of childish excitement and joy in his eyes, expecting me to be this 'Mimi'.
"Sorry, I'm not Mimi…"
"Oh…"
"What do you need?"
I thought it would be difficult for me to say it under the given circumstances, but somehow the words just shot out of my mouth.
"I'm sorry to barge in but I really need a place to stay tonight. My dad is a total psycho and I've been through some horrible things. If I went back home tonight I might get killed. But please don't call the police as they would just bring me straight back home. It's happened before, yeah, seriously - I still got bruises from that time. It wasn't too long ago. Wait, do you want to see it? Here, yeah, pretty bad huh"
Then I realized I was lifting up my skirt to show my bruised bare thigh. I quickly pulled it down again. I must have blushed like mad.
"You sound like a young version of an entitled Karen"
"I'm no virgin"
"I said 'version'"
"Geez, that's so embarrassing"
"So what do you really need?"
As I told him everything I could say, I was at a loss for what more to say to appeal my predicament and ask for some sympathy from this stranger.
"Here, ten dollars. Go buy a ten-bag or something. There's usually a guy standing around the corner selling them down the street here. A skinny old man with an oversized coat. Tell him Jim sent you"
"Your name is Jim?"
"No, but you are not Mimi either"
"I'm sorry I'm not Mimi"
"It's okay I was just being stupid"
"So can I come in?"
"Why do you want to come in?"
"I meant what I said. I need somewhere to stay, Sir"
"You have a horrible Dad?"
"Yes"
"So did I"
"So you understand"
"Yes"
"Then please let me in"
"Find some other place. There's a man living upstairs and he will be happy to take in young girls like you"
"Sounds creepy as heck"
"You think I'm not creepy if I took you in now?"
"No, you look like a good guy"
"Good guys don't tell a kid to go buy a bag of weed"
"But you offered money"
"Just so I can have some pea-. Never mind. Please just move along. I don't want company"
With that, the man shut the door on me.
"HEY!"
I don't know what's gotten into me, but I started banging on the door. Somehow my desperate plea for help has really turned into… an entitled Karen.
"I got bruises on my ASS too! You wanna see that AS WELL?!"
My own shamelessness shocked me as the words that I could not have possibly thought of myself shot out of me.
Then I heard rustle and bustle behind the door, a running sound, and a big thud, and groan, and then the door flung open again.
"Jesus fucking Christ. Quieten down man"
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH HELP!!!"
"Just come in"
So I've succeeded in forcing my way in. I don't know what's gotten over me but I had to do whatever I had to do, and I know by the ways that guys - even grown-ups - look at me, I had to use whatever asset I had to be convincing.
The man scanned the corridor quickly before closing the door perhaps to ensure that no neighbor was peeking out after the little commotion I made.
"What happened to you?"
I asked as the man groaned in pain again after the door was shut and locked.
"I fell"
"I'm sorry"
"Whatever"
"So who is Mimi?"
"My cat"
"Huh?"
"She's been gone weeks and hasn't returned. She does go missing for days but always comes back, but this time…"
"You thought Mimi would ring the bell and 'speak'?"
"Obviously I wasn't thinking"
"You are a funny man"
The man just gave me a frown and headed toward the couch in the living room. I looked around and the whole house was a pure mess. There were empty packages of snacks everywhere, cup ramen cases, unwashed clothes shed around the house in random places, and piles of indescribable messes that I couldn't tell what they were unless I had a close look, which did not particularly appeal to me.
He laid down on the couch and just took out his phone and seemed to be browsing through YouTube.
"Where do I sit?"
"Anywhere", he replied without looking my way.
"Does anybody ever come here?"
"Not anymore"
"What happened?"
"People that used to come here just died. One by one"
"That sounds creepy as hell"
"Oh, have you been to hell?", he then abruptly sat up, looking at me with excitement and curiosity.
"Duh, it's just an expression"
The man just sighed and laid down on the couch again, turning his back.
Right after that, I had a sudden urge to go pee. Maybe it was the relief of being 'saved' that made me want to relieve myself, but as soon as I opened the toilet door I immediately closed it again as the pungent stink attacked my nose.
"I'm not going in there. It's disgusting!"
"I hardly use it either"
"Huh?"
He then turned around and pointed toward various cola bottles filled with what seemed to be beer gone bad.
"What are those?"
"Pee bottles"
"EEEEWWWW"
"There should be some empty bottles in the kitchen behind you"
I turned around and indeed, there were piles of empty bottles littered around the kitchen table and sink.
"Look, if you didn't notice, I'm a girl"
"Uh-huh"
"Girls don't use pee bottles"
"Not my problem"
"Look, I really need to go"
The man then let out a long sigh again and sluggishly got up, went to a balcony, and brought a bucket.
"There you go"
"Seriously?"
"Use this and I will chuck it for you in that 'disgusting' toilet"
So part of me will go down the drain after all.
This was ridiculous but seeing that there was no hope I looked for a place I could pee in privacy.
"Where should I do it?"
"I have zero intention to look. Just do it wherever"
"But you will hear the sound"
"So what?"
"It's embarrassing"
"Turn the frigging tap on or something"
Smart ass.
So unbelievably, I went to the kitchen, found a spot behind the kitchen table where he couldn't see me, turned up on the tap, and peed into a bucket.
"Finished"
I pulled up myself and came back to the living room again.
The man dragged himself up again and slowly grumbled his way to the kitchen and I followed.
"Why are you following me?"
Oh. I didn't know actually.
"Dunno"
He just shrugged, picked up the bucket, and brought his nose closer to smell it.
"WHAT THE HECK?!"
He then realized what he had done and disjointedly explained himself.
"You know-, I have been, er, living with Mimi for a long time. I'm just used to it, yeah, er, sorry. That must have looked real creepy"
"Why would you smell your cat's piss?!"
"To check her health"
I covered my face with my two palms half out of embarrassment as he held the bucket of my hot piss, and half in disbelief of how stupid this man was. I felt dirty.
As he went toward the toilet and I heard the sound of my odor being flushed down the loo, I quickly made my way to take a spot on his couch.
"Hey, move away"
He said in annoyance after he came back.
"This seems to be the only spot I can sit"
"Yes, and it's the only spot I can lie down"
"Don't you have a bedroom?"
"I do"
I walked over to open the bedroom door, and it was even fuller with mess than the living room.
"Gees, how can you even sleep there"
"I don't"
I could understand now. He must not have cleaned his flat for years, so with rubbish taking over his whole place gradually, he had to find refuge in his couch as there were no other places to go.
"You poor thing"
"Says the girl who ran away from home"
I should have been grateful that this man was kind enough to let me into his place when I desperately needed to go somewhere, but it became clear to me that I had to find another place, but with no money to rent a place or no work experience whatsoever, there was a slim chance I could find a place for myself. But hang on, would this guy be expecting any 'form' of rent from me?
That freaked and creeped me out.
"Just so you know, I'm staying for free"
Oops. That came out wrong.
"Suits yourself"
"Really? You don't mind?"
"I don't care"
"Thank you"
Actually, yes, I was grateful.
For now.