As a person, I have been doing what to survive and love this world without pessimistic thoughts.
After working on late project at night, let's go for walk.
Sky is filled with light pollution, and their is dust everywhere that it's hard to breathe.
Even though it's rural area impact of city is greater here due to natural air ways.
Looking at thunders in sky, I think it may rain but I doubt it.
Well, let's go before this air suffocates me.
What happens If I never existed?
Does God exist?
If God exist, than why do I exist?
To innocent to be having ill thoughts about this world.
Why feeling this way calms me everytime?
Does heaven or hell exist?
But if existed than probably they are made up by humans.
Even if I go around and give logic thought to it. I might believe more in God.
Does that mean God exist?
Well, this foolish way of seeing life and giving it meaning is absurd to think.
Will there be a conclusion of What is meaning of life?
As person, I hate being person.
Why didn't I seek for attention?
Why did I let go of things that I loved yet let go of them? (I think I love what I am right now. I don't want to change, adapt, learn, seek something for betterment for my future)
Why did not once said 'HELP'? (Calling out for help? Who will help me? I have no one. Even if I had one will they still be with this one?)
Am I coward? (Obviously I am)
Is recovering from failure that hard? (It is and hate it every single time when I look back)