It is not difficult for one to commit a single misdeed occasionally, but the true challenge lies in persisting in a life of crime, diligently and unrepentantly, without a shred of remorse…
Undoubtedly, Lei Laohu and Chen Sanping were such individuals. Even though they had been released from prison only three days ago, they were already sneaking, beneath the starry sky—far from romantic—into a rented room.
Ten minutes earlier, the young tenant had just left, leaving only two gentlemen of dubious repute behind, along with some things that may or may not exist.
"Fufang Street, No. 13?" Just before stepping in, Chen Sanping glanced instinctively at the doorplate, a chill running down his spine. "Boss, I've heard there are rumors of ghosts haunting this place. What if we try our luck somewhere else?"
"Superstition! What era are you living in? You must trust in science!" Lei Laohu didn't even spare him a glance, his golden teeth flashing in the darkness. "Stop your nonsense! What did the TV say yesterday? High risk brings high rewards! If you're too scared, just get out!"
Ignoring his subordinate's superstitions, Lei Laohu smoothly pried open the door, flashlight in hand, and stepped inside.
Chen Sanping, still somewhat uneasy, gradually became absorbed in his task of searching for valuables, displaying a commendable work ethic.
The room was small, and the two men rummaged through it haphazardly, even inspecting the corners of the walls.
Unfortunately, the tenant, who had lived there for several years, seemed to be poor. Aside from a few hundred yuan in the drawer, there was little else of value.
"Damn it, I despise these penniless fools!" Lei Laohu cursed, frustrated. What could a few hundred yuan do, especially in these times when everything was so expensive?
Chen Sanping, with more patience, eventually found an old phone, though it seemed no one would bother picking it up if it were dropped on the floor.
Lei Laohu scoffed, irritated. "This bastard is probably poorer than us! Even the phone is a relic!"
His complaint was abruptly cut off when faint noises came from the bedroom.
The two exchanged uncertain glances, cautiously crept toward the door, and cracked it open—only to find nothing. The room was as ordinary as ever, and the strange sound ceased immediately.
Lei Laohu let out a sigh of relief and casually shut the door. "It's nothing. Probably just a rat…"
Before he could finish his sentence, the faint sounds returned, louder this time. Lei Laohu froze, suddenly throwing open the door again, only to find nothing once more. The noise vanished once more.
Chen Sanping, now visibly shaken, looked around nervously. "Boss, maybe we should leave. Something's not right here…"
A sudden "click!" rang out, and a light flickered on by itself, casting a beam from the corner of the room.
Startled, both men almost leapt to the ceiling in fright, but soon they realized it was only a rice cooker, casually sitting in the corner with a lightbulb attached to it.
Lei Laohu, his hand on his chest, spat in frustration. "Damn it, this idiot was so interested that he put a lightbulb in the rice cooker! What a pointless move!"
"Pointless?" A sharp, tiny voice suddenly interjected. Lei Laohu and Chen Sanping froze, their hair standing on end as they huddled together.
Before their terrified eyes, the rice cooker leisurely hopped toward them, its lid flipping open and closed.
"No lightbulb, how could I see the road? What if I accidentally run into a wall and need a repairman to come fix it? You guys don't know, repairmen these days are something else. They ask for the warranty the moment they step in and sometimes even steal a few parts, claiming they were defective to begin with… Hey, why are you running? I haven't finished yet!"
Ignoring the chatter of the rice cooker, Lei Laohu and Chen Sanping were now paralyzed with fear, already halfway to a full-on breakdown.
Before they could even register what was happening, a broken electric scooter rolled in, huffing and puffing up the steps for reasons unknown:
"Want to leave? Not so fast! Let me tell you, back in the day when I was in my prime, even a Ferrari couldn't escape me!"
The sharp scream that had almost escaped their mouths was immediately swallowed back in terror.
Completely disheartened, Lei Laohu and Chen Sanping were about to collapse when something far more terrifying appeared. As the air rippled, a laptop leaped into view, displaying… a Japanese adult video.
The rice cooker sighed dramatically. "Laptop, you've got the wrong files! Last time when the boss brought a lady over, you did the same thing… and then…"
"It's not my fault. The boss named the folder 'Artistic Life'!" The confused laptop flipped open its screen, reluctantly switching to REALPLAYER. Finally, a police action movie started playing.
When Chen Sanping saw a policeman in the screen pointing a gun at him, he fainted on the spot, too shocked to even make a token attempt at resistance.
Lei Laohu stuffed his fist in his mouth, his eyes nearly popping out of his skull. He finally gritted his teeth, drew his dagger, and charged toward the electric scooter blocking their way…
"Whoosh!" The sudden suction force from behind knocked him to the floor, sending his dagger flying straight into the rice cooker's lid.
Chewing on the dagger with great interest, the rice cooker bounced up and down, wearing an intimidating expression:
"Circle, you little brat, want to fight hand-to-hand? Where are you guys from? Which gang do you belong to? Who's your boss… Damn it, you don't know the rules! Leave your stuff behind and stand against the wall!"
It seemed the rice cooker was no stranger to the underworld, speaking with the ease of a seasoned gangster.
Lei Laohu was utterly lost, unable to comprehend what kind of world this was. He'd come here to rob, only to be extorted in return.
Before he could process any of this, three more appliances approached menacingly. The laptop switched to "A World Without Thieves," with Ge You on-screen, sneering, "I hate you robbers. You have no skills whatsoever…"
Although Lei Laohu longed to protest that he was just a thief, he realized it was futile. He dutifully pulled out his wallet.
The rice cooker opened its lid, swallowing the wallet with satisfaction, then grumbled, "Damn it, only two hundred thirty-two bucks? You guys really know how to live, huh… What the hell, take off your clothes, too. Leave the underwear and socks, though!"
"Uh..." Lei Laohu was on the verge of tears, but he had no choice but to comply.
Minutes later, as Lei Laohu, almost ready to join a naked run, stood before them, the rice cooker nodded in approval.
"Well done. If you want to leave, you can apply now. Normally, when the boss is away, we'll pass it through an initial review and let Nono make the final decision!"
"Who's Nono?" Lei Laohu blinked, unable to help but ask.
At that moment, a soft bell rang, and the broken phone flipped open, striking a pose:
"I'm Nono! Nono is me! I only answer calls from dominant women from Monday to Wednesday, lolis from Thursday to Saturday. As for Sunday… well, it's supposed to be a rest day, but I'll talk to you a little, since you seem so sincere!"
Lei Laohu had completely lost it. What the hell was going on? A rice cooker in the underworld, a scooter with nostalgic tendencies, a confused laptop, and a flashy phone… and who was the boss?
As if on cue, the four appliances stood in formation, speaking in unison:
"We are not just appliances! We are the most famous, purest, and most promising four masters of Fufang Street!"
"What the hell! East Evil, West Poison, South Emperor, North Beggar?" Lei Laohu muttered in confusion to himself.
The rice cooker shot him a glance and smiled smugly. "Of course, that title is too long. You can call us the 'F4' of Fufang Street!"
Though already lying on the ground, hearing such a fearless title made Lei Laohu almost want to get up and tackle them again.
Gazing at the four triumphant appliances, Lei Laohu made his decision in the briefest of moments. Perhaps kidnapping this defenseless phone was his last escape plan!
"Zing!" Just as he reached out to touch the phone, a burst of white light hit him, and an electric current surged through him, causing him to faint instantly.
The electric scooter rolled closer, its front panel curving slightly, sporting what seemed like a mocking grin:
"See? This is why young people should use their brains! Back in the day, I…"
"Help!" Chen Sanping's piercing scream echoed through the air, and at last, he woke up, crying out for help just as needed. "Police! Police! There are ghosts in this house! Aren't you going to do something?"
Thanks to his shout, the whole courtyard erupted in chaos! With the lights from outside visible, Chen Sanping, now emboldened, stumbled out of the room.
The four appliance demons exchanged looks, but not one of them made a move to stop him. The laptop, staring blankly, mumbled, "Ghosts? I didn