...my mind was not prepared for what I saw. He was standing there behind my uncle looking at me, I quickly looked away from him. I don't want him to see my puffy face, "what now?", why is uncle acting like he does not know why I'm turning away from them. "it's nothing, my face is just puffy", I said standing up in reverse without looking at them and running to the bathroom to wash my face. 'that was close ke sana'.
"finish up whatever you are doing and come eat", uncle shouted, I shouted back that I was coming to eat.
My stomach did a little flip when I saw the drumsticks, I wanted to puke right there but I held it in. "I'll just have the milkshake"' I said sitting down. Uncle Nkanyiso looked over at Nation and smirked, he just looked at him and shook his head. What is going on with this eye talk they are doing? "why are you communicating with your eyes?"
"it's nothing", he answered to my question? Nation talked! My heart just melted right away, "Hay Kuhle, no man, no. mmmh-uh" I looked at uncle smiling and then wiggled my eyebrows, I said nothing to him I just drank the cranberry blackcurrant milkshake. Anything icy is my favorite and whenever I eat icy things I do not throw up. "you should go home after eating your mother didn't sound happy over the phone", I just nodded and said nothing I don't want to break down while drinking this nice milkshake. I felt my tears prickling at my eyes, I wanted to cry because I know that going back home means that I wouldn't have to sleep peacefully.
"malume can't I stay over tonight?", I looked at him with pleading eyes, he looked at me with pity in his eyes and shook his head reluctantly. I know that this is me putting him in a tight spot because mom will come barging in here and take me home with her just like how she did 2 years ago. I looked down and decided to quickly finish the milkshake so I can pass by the park, maybe. It was still early and nobody was home so I didn't want to go home and stare at those blank walls like I am in the asylum or something like that.
I finished the milkshake while uncle was busy chatting away with Nation, his voice is so soothing to listen to, deep and husky, it's just sexy. I can't believe that I'm fantasizing about his voice while I am in a miserable situation right now. Ever since I met him which was like a year ago he's never said more than 10 words to me, but at least we have exchanged words, I guess today it will make it 12 words. I am just kidding but we have exchanged few words.
"I'll leave now", I said standing up and taking the milkshake container with me. "I'll see you around mshana", he looked at me as if he was going to tell me to stay. I threw the container in the bin by the door.
I took short and low steps as I was walking to the park, I don't know why I'm going there because the whole idea of going to the park is boring me now. I just wanted to sit down and cry, I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I wish I had parents who cared about me, how I feel and how my studies are going but they are just busy minding their lives. I'm very happy that it's September holidays but in a few days I'm going back to school to write my matric finals but they have never asked how are the preparations for the upcoming examinations, they are just dead quite I don't even think they remember me sometimes.
Back in primary school they usually forgot to come and pick me up that I had to spend almost three hours in the school premises while the security guard kept me company along with his dog. They never apologized after they picked me up late at night when the security guards were doing their shifts. There was this one time when I fainted due to hunger and cold, I woke up at the hospital after three days and they blamed me for not eating, while they kept me waiting for them for over three hours and I had to stay in the rain because the security guard's cottage was locked. I envy people with parents who care about them.
I arrived at the park and it was a little bit packed since it's spring break. I found an empty bench and sat down, I watched as parents played with their children, 'I wish mine could also do that with me' I thought to myself. I felt a single tear slide down my cheek but quickly wiped it away before someone could see me. After sometime I stood up and went to play on the swings when the people started to clear a bit, I was craving ice cream but I had no money with me. Yeah, I do not even get an allowance even though my family is well-off, I sometimes go to school without money for lunch.
I sat there watching as people slowly disappeared from my sight, I knew that it meant that I should also go home but my body was not allowing me to stand up. I wanted to scream but these people here at the park would think that I am a mad person. I slowly dragged my body back home, I wanted to go back to uncle's house but I know better than anyone that he would gladly accompany me back home.
I found the door already open and it was starting to be dark outside, I know for a fact that I'm in trouble. I found mom sitting on the highchairs in the kitchen drinking her favorite wine, rotation, sniffing, drinking, and then staring at me. I looked down avoiding her unfriendly gaze, "uphumaphi Kuhle? (where were you?)", she's not drunk, yet "epaki (the park)" I said avoiding her gaze.
"At this time?"
"I'm sorry I didn't pay much attention to the time", I said and then began walking away. I could feel her gaze on my back and I knew that she was fuming, I found myself on the floor moaning in pain. She has thrown a glass of wine on my back, the pain was so unbearable that I wanted to cry so badly. I stood up without turning to look at her, I was so angry to the point that I was about to evaporate because I have already reached the boiling point. I turned to face her and she was already a few inches away from my face, one big slap landed on my face I felt tears burning my eyes. I told myself a long time ago that I was never going to cry when my mother was beating me up, because I have already gotten used to it but today it's different, I wanted to let all of my anger out I wanted to tell her that she is a bad parent.
Another slap landed on my face, I couldn't keep count of the slaps I got after that, I just covered my face as she continuously kicked me and pulled my hair when she got a chance. Only tears were flowing I couldn't even let out a scream or cry because I knew that if I did she was going to come at me harder. My whole body was on fire I didn't know if I was going to be able to stand up, I didn't even beg her to stop like how I usually did when I was younger.
She was also so quiet when beating me as if she was a lifeless and cruel monster. "Thembi!", that was my father's voice before he pulled her away from me, I remained there laying on the ground with no movement from me. I felt my vision slowly becoming grey and blurry. "Kuhle?", that was my father's voice, I heard it from the distance. I forced myself to get up, I didn't want to be in this house, who knows what this woman is going to do to me if I become unconscious in this house. I pushed my father's hand away as he tried to touch me, "don't touch...me", my voice was faint yet stern. With the little energy I had left in me I ran out of the house.
"Kuhle! Kuhle", my father was running after me. "Jabulani if you chase her I'll kill her", I heard my mother shout, is she even my mother? Who says that about their child?
I had no energy after running for a while, I could see my uncle's house from a distance. Even though it was dark but I could see his house because of the light, my vision was even more blurrier now I managed to reach his gate, with the little energy I had I managed to run to safety, ignoring all the pain I felt. I was so bloody from the shattered glass that pierced my skin when she was continuously beating me. I felt myself slowing falling to the ground with a large thud, my head fell first on the hard cemented yard.